RANT: obese people that PUSH dieting advice!!

fiberartist219

No one messes with my food. I can take an idiot comment here or there, but if you touch my food, it's over. My neighbor slapped an orange out of my hand (not as a fat comment, but as a silly prank) and I started chasing him because I seriously wanted to punch him. I think he hid behind some furniture long enough to dodge my fury and I went back to gathering up my food.

You received a lot of nice comments from some caring people here, and that's very sweet that people want to see things from your aquaintance's (I'm not calling her a friend) perspective. However, I don't give a crap what is going on in her head. You need to be up front and tell her that YOU DON'T CARE what she says and she needs to shut the front door until you ask for advice. Since you are not asking her for advice, she does not need to give it. Be firm, be mean, do whatever you have to do to make this stop.

karen_thinmint

I'm sorry to hear about that. Sounds like she doesn't want you to change for her, or she wants to prove that she knows more. I don't know, but this is all about her pulling some power play. But you are doing this for you, so forget her BS. There's no reason for anyone to behave that way. To each their own, as long as it's a healthy plan, there's no right or wrong way to lose weight.

And lastly I would like to point out her mom is a nutritionist, not her. A good diet plan should be individual, and not broad spectrum, otherwise we'd all be supermodels, so I doubt her mom would give you this same advice. And anyhow a nutritionist is not certified/educated, per ce, in the way a registered dietitian is. I know a nutritionist sounds like a person that gives more sound advice then a dietitian, but it's just that "diet" sounds like a fad, where as "nutrition" sounds like a lifestyle. However, in many states anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, but in all a dietitian must keep valid certification. I'm not saying a nutritionist can't give great advice either, I just wanted to point out that little factoid considering your friends is all "trust me, my mom is a nutritionist."

MissSonjaBelle

Your mate is a moron. Don't take advice from this idiot. Her mum is a nutritionist? So that makes her the daughter of a nutritionist and nothing else! Just tell her to "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" next time babe. I used to work in a gym and a fat personal trainer would always try to give me nutrition advice. I would just stare at her until she walked away, non-responsive. Idiot...

If you cut out sweets and carbs altogether, you won't be able to maintain that kind of diet because you're so used to eating it all the time. Eliminate bad, sweet foods at your OWN PACE and every little bit less that you eat a day/week/month WILL have an effect! But do try to cut out sugar, it's the root of all evil. Skinny people don't eat sugar. Period.

Sweet treats: fruit and nuts - grapes are super sweet! Get into it! And dried dates - soooo sweet i love them. And try to replace sugar in recipes with a sugar alternative like Stevia (many of the other sugar replacements have carcinogens, cancer causing chemicals so try to stay away from these bad boys)...

xo

HeyHeyRae

I'm on your side completely. You can't lose weight AND keep it off by depriving yourself. You just have to be conscious of how much you're supposed to be having and make sure to cut it off at the correct serving size. As for a low carb/cal treat: Line a deep ice cube tray or tiny bowl (or, if you get the individual sized yogurts, spoon it into a bowl, clean out the cup, and line it) with plastic wrap (it helps everything slide right out after frozen) and spoon in your favorite light nonfat yogurt. Add some fresh berries to the mix if you like (my favorite light nonfat yogurt is vanilla because I can add whatever fruit to it I'm in the mood for), cover completely with plastic wrap to avoid freezer burn, stick a toothpick or two in it, and pop it in the freezer. Let it freeze completely, preferably over night. It's like having ice cream but completely guilt free!

kiesh82

I don't talk to random people about my weight loss goals. Everybody thinks they're an expert and everyone has an opinion which most times I don't find helpful. Especially since most people are clueless about calorie counting and weight loss, all they know is the fad stuff they see popularized in the media! I just do my thing and if someone specifically asks for advice or something then we can talk.

strawberrie_milk

Ah I know exactly what you mean. One of my "friends" who is overweight and, from what I've heard him say about exercise and eating, knows next to nothing about fitness and nutrition -- he had the nerve to try to lecture ME on how to eat healthy and be fit when I weight like a third of his weight, and I actually do research on nutrition and fitness, so I find it quite offensive how he attacks me with his "knowledge" of nutrition when I know loads more than he does. He once told me I was unhealthy because I "don't drink enough water" every day when I drink 8-10 glasses a day - he told me I should be drinking an entire pack of 24 water bottles a day. WTF?! And then he told me that coffee was unhealthy and I shouldn't drink it when there is nothing wrong with it. Not to mention... he thinks the Shake Weight is a good exercise routine... yeah. Bleh sorry for the rant. I completely empathize with you.

nsblue

people who are obese are quite actually knowledgeable in diets... for they have usually yo yo'd so much that they know how to lose weight... just havent grasped the whole idea of dieting is a lifestyle change forever. ive been there... know it.
Do you think sometimes she tries to dicourage by her negative critism? id hate for her to know i lost 200 pounds in 9 months lmao

chelso0o

I'd just like to share something that I learned along my journey. Good friends are good friends no matter what the size. I quickly learned that my size 6 friend was extremely toxic in my life in general, and my size 26 friend was the MOST supportive and encouraging in my weight loss efforts. As you lose weight and gain confidence, you will find that you weed out the toxic ones, and invite the encouraging ones in. It's almost like a flower blossoming. As you gain a sense of who you are, people see that and will be drawn to you.

I made much better friends now on my journey than I have ever had in my entire life.

A heart to heart is definitely in order, because if you want to salvage the friendship then she needs to know that what she is doing is A) annoying you and unproductive.

camy_chick

one recipe my kiddos like -
grilled banana split!

take the banana and peel a part of it off, and shove some quartered strawberries in it.....place it on a grill, be it fire, grill pan, or a george foreman.....grill for a bit
then add some toppings of your choice to make it a "banana split".

MUByM

here's a little different spin .. i read a few pages of this post and didn't see this point of view expressed, so here goes...

from the time i was in highschool, i had to consciously watch what i ate and exercise to maintain my slender girlish figure. this went on for 40+ years and i did just fine. later on i joined weight watchers when i had gained about 30 pounds and again got things under control achieving my lifetime membership goal and maintenance. then i got a back injury and all bets were off. i was physically unable to get cardio exercise and my weight started climbing.. and now i am nearly 80 pounds overweight. i just figured out a way to get a fair cardio workout and have joined MFP to aid me in attaining my weight loss goal. (record keeping and accountability to others)

there have been times when people have ASKED my opinion and i am happy to give it. i do consider myself an expert in planning a healthy weight loss menu and managing calories. i even pride myself in adapting (suitable) recipes to the original weight watchers exchange plan. one aspect, here on MFP, i was never aware of when i was doing aerobics several times a week is figuring out how many calories were burned then eating back burned calories. i just knew if i did aerobics and ate sensible, i never had to worry about my weight.

so, not ALL overweight people are stupid about eating healthy and it pays to listen to all advice, see what sounds reasonable to you, and take what sounds useful to you. there is always more than one way to achieve a goal. also, it seems like most "skinny" people who have never had a weight problem don't have a clue. they never had to worry about counting a calorie. i have seen some advice from so called lifetime fitness experts here that doesn't make sense and could even be harmful.

ps: that does not mean i approve of anyone preaching where advice is not wanted, even if it is from an expert.

I completely agree with this! I am overweight/obese and I tend to give advice to friends who are trying to lose weight (even sometimes without them asking, just when the topic comes up) but I don't do it in an *kitten*-ish way. I too have struggled with my weight, but I too have lost a ton of weight several times....both the right and the wrong way. I have taken a big interest in nutrition, love biology and the way the body works so I have read and been through my own experiences to know what works for me. I also know friends who eat fast food, which I admit I still consume on occasion, but know that going over your necessary calories for a day is easy when all you eat is fast food. So I tell them these things. I am doing this weight loss for good this time, the right way. I HAVE done this before, my issue is I have a huge sweet tooth and I snack when I get bored. So I have adjusted my eating habits to be better and healthier. Not all of us who are obese/overweight are jealous. I personally want to give people I know who need to lose weight the common sense advice that most of us who come here already know. I am NOT jealous of anyone smaller than me, in fact I have always been comfortable emotionally/mentally with my weight regardless of how big i've gotten because I got over that crap when I was younger. I know that I MYSELF got me to where I am and am responsible for my weight. I know I am also responsible for taking it off as well and along the way, since I have done this several times and know that it's simply a matter of calories in/out, eating healthier and exercise when you can find the time is the right way to go about this.

Not all of us big girls are hateful people. I give advice to my friends who want to lose weight that just don't know the basic information that you should know on a weight loss journey. No jealousy here, I just love my friends enough to be outspoken about being fat. Most are happy to hear my opinion on this. And I completely understand there is a line between jealous and being a good friend. Just wanted to make a statement for the one fat girl here who isn't a big b*tch about it

COMPLETELY agree with you both!

annie7hudds

Simple response, "Excuse ,me, but when YOU are slender and eating healthy, then perhaps I will listen to you, until then, get the heck away from me and let me eat in peace."

This!

sandown12

I havent read all posts but I have 100lbs to lose and I know how to lose weight as I have in large chunks many times I offer advice to people and know what works for me,she is 300lbs as she probably comfort eats and not because she doesnt know how to lose weight,maybe she comfort eats to rebell against her mother?

Just say thanks for your advice but I can do this and maybe dont ask her for any reciepies or mention weightloss then she cant lecture you if she brings it up explain I think it will ruin our friendship if you tell me what to do and as I value your friendship Id rather we didnt talk about this subject x