Does anyone else struggle to feel sexy?

Kekibird

The thinner I get the more I struggle with confidence. So I have to push those voices aside and just focus on my distance, my time, my strength and my overall health improvement with the hopes that the feeling good part will fall into place.

reactor25

Definately! I sometimes wonder if my fiance has made the connection between the days that i'm eating clean and exercising are the nights I initiate sex and the days i'm doing awful are the nights i want to just go straight to bed lol.

This is true for me, too! it must be psychological or something but I feel more attractive on days I exercise and more overweight and frumpy on days I don't.

ymiser24

I thought I was the only one that felt that way. I will say though that since I started my new routine. I no longer feel bloated and I no longer see my stomach going past my chest. It is amazing. I just have to work on toning up myself now. I have to invest in a yoga mat, jump rope, and medicine ball. I think these little things will get me there and then I can increase it as time goes on. Do you have an exercise program?

deadgirl81

I've always felt this way!

Always been embaressed by the way I look and try my hardest to keep covered, or if I go out, I'll make an effort but still feel concious of the fact that I don't feel or look "sexy"

crepes_

I used to have a huge issue feeling sexy. But you know what? Fake it 'til you make it. If I make myself think that I'm sexy and pretty, soon, I start to believe it. So yeah, right now, I have no issues with feeling sexy.

eatlift

I don't know if Iv'e ever felt sexy. I do know that, at times, Iv'e felt bad *kitten*. Maybe once I get rid of this darn belly, sexiness will happen.

fatgirlzrule2

At my heaviest weight, no, I did not feel sexy AT ALL. Now that I'm down some, I am starting to like myself again. And certain things will trigger me feeling absolutely HORRIBLE about myself (like yesterday when I tried on a pair of old jeans that I thought I might be able to squeeze into, and I wasn't even close....this shattered me for the rest of the day). Regardless, my husband tells me all the time he loves my body. I am TRYING to accept and believe that.

Captain_Mal

Yeah, I don't feel sexy per se most of the time. I think that's more of a result of feeling like a giant nerd all of the time. I often say that I don't know how to be sexy.

Katefab26

Sexy has nothing to do with how you look. It's an atttitude. You have to exude confidence, even if you don't have it. Smile, smile, smile! Lean in, brush his arm, tell him he's sexy. Guys like to be hit on too. The more comfortable you get with it, the quicker they will respond. Trust me.

Ephena

My Partner is going through this at the moment & although you might not want "guy input" here it comes. I Love her, do I wish she was healthier, YES, do I still wish to touch & make love to her OH BOY YES. I luv making out, touching & well you get the idea, I have a pretty high sex drive & she used to match if not exceed this. But a number of things have contributed to her lack of drive BUT it is the extra pounds that really concern her.

MY POINT - ladies your man loves you(unless he is a user, negative pig/you'll know the difference) & he STILL fancies you, yes a little bit because he is wired to get erect at a tree falling down BUT SERIOUSLY, he took care of himself before & during(when you're at work/asleep/cooking, etc) So if that is what he wanted he would leave you alone.

BUT HE WANTS YOU

Russ

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

hollyeverhart

At work I feel sexy, (exotic dancer) but at home around my Husband I am self conscious and never feel pretty/skinny enough. I think at work I just don't care what guys think and they are just some jerks who's money I want to take lol plus the blacklights/colored lights, 8 inch heels and outfits help too. At home Its harder to hide the things I don't like on my body, and I care what my Husband thinks and I want him to always to attracted to me. Also the kind of job I have guys shower you with attention every night and treat you like your the hottest thing on the planet giving you all this money for nothing but being hot/talking to them, so its easy to feel sexy.

LessMe2B

My Partner is going through this at the moment & although you might not want "guy input" here it comes. I Love her, do I wish she was healthier, YES, do I still wish to touch & make love to her OH BOY YES. I luv making out, touching & well you get the idea, I have a pretty high sex drive & she used to match if not exceed this. But a number of things have contributed to her lack of drive BUT it is the extra pounds that really concern her.

MY POINT - ladies your man loves you(unless he is a user, negative pig/you'll know the difference) & he STILL fancies you, yes a little bit because he is wired to get erect at a tree falling down BUT SERIOUSLY, he took care of himself before & during(when you're at work/asleep/cooking, etc) So if that is what he wanted he would leave you alone.

BUT HE WANTS YOU

Russ

Russ, you are the sexiest man on MFP (my hubby isn't on here) because of this statement. These are the kind of things my husband says to me and even when I feel ugly, he makes me feel sexy to him with comments like this. LISTEN TO THIS MAN!!!!

thatgirl125

oh yeah I struggle hard. Ever since I had my son I have loose skin and my stomach looks nothing like I did before when I was this weight. I feel like everything I wear looks weird on me in general now. It sucks, how can you feel sexy and confident when you look in the mirror and do not even like how you look with your clothes on?

gecho

I feel this way whenever I'm about to be intimate with my fiancé. The extra weight I've got really carries a burden in the back of my mind.

change that to husband and i'm with you :embarassed:

xsmilexforxmex

Some days, I feel like the sexiest woman on earth, I call those my 'thin' days ebcause I feel tiny and when i look in the mirror i see tiny.... others I don't understand why my husband sees to even want to kiss me and when i look in the mirror all I can see is every roll and pudge on my body.

a6ftdiva

ALL THE TIME......

Legalchica

Nope I dont try to at all... I do not know if I will ever feel like that... I have no hope for it. I'm ok with me but sexy I am not.

travel4lifegirl

Don't get me wrong, I love my 2 roommates - they are great and we have a great time together BUT they are stick figures!! They are so beautiful and here's me...overweight and unhealthy. So yeah, I would say that I do struggle to feel sexy. I love the curves that I do have but I would like to lose some of the extra weight that I've gained since starting college 4 years ago. This is also my first day on MyFitnessPal - here's to a healthier me!

YukonJoy

Nope.


I'm sexy and I know it :smokin:

Hambone23

My boyfriend swears it's a woman's confidence. Not saying looks don't factor into it at all, but large or small, a woman is sexy to him if they exude confidence and self-worth. This is probably sad, but I get a lot of my self-confidence from how my boyfriend treats me and reacts to me. That doesn't mean I'm not self-confident other times, but if he treats me like I'm sexy, damn straight I feel like I am! And that carries over into other aspects of my life. It works the other way around too. When I act more self-confident, he finds me more exciting. When I let my body image intrude, our sex life goes down the drain.

xTenaciousJx

sometimes I do...but it helps that every day my hubby says i'm sexy and he can't keep his hands off me he has been amazing at any weight i have been....i've never really been huge...just average. He's bigger now when we started dating (over 9 years ago) and I'm smaller and have been smaller since the first few months. It's more me than him having the issue....

so yes I feel sexy ALL the time my hubby is with me =D

demhareis

Hongruss, your answer is awesome.

It would be nice if those who found us sexy told us that more often. It's far too easy to forget.

Sometimes my head gets stuck back in high school where it was those skinny, beautiful girls who got asked out and the poor, frumphy ones, no matter how nice they were on the inside, never got approached.

I remember what *****es some of those "pretty" girls were. I certainly would not have approached them with a ten foot pole, should I have swung that way. I recall wondering, "Is physical beauty the only thing that matters to a bloke?" Sometimes I felt the answer was an overwhelming "yes".

Sometimes it still feels that way. Have a sparking smile, laugh, be positive and flirt with a guy, and then get no response... makes you wonder what's wrong with you.

I could think I'm sexy as much as I want. But when someone else comes along and shares the same opinion, that carries far more weight than any self-affirmation ever could.

Michaelaraedixon

Your beautiful! Hold your head up! You earned and worked hard for what you got! ROCK IT! I hope you can find a way to feel sexy! You feel so much better, everyday with life, when you mentally feel good about yourself! Have a little talk with yourself next time you go out! Find the perfect outfit and mentally put it in your head that you look amazing! Its ok to look in the mirror and say, DAMN I LOOK GOOD! I know society makes it hard for women to do this, but do it cause you deserve it!

cgrout78

ALL the time. I have horrid self-esteem. So to make myself seem even less sexy I wear baggy hooded sweatshirts and sweats and baseball caps so I don't even look feminine anymore, kind of as my way of seeming like I'm in control of whether I look sexy or not.

It doesn't really work tho...

Dayna154

You know, whenever I start feeling this way I think of a hot a steamy moment from my past and how sexy I felt then. And I tell myself that, yea, my thighs are big and I have a tummy....but those legs are powerful and that tummy doesn't get in the way of my "me" time

And then I put on a killer pair of heels that make my legs look fabulous and strut.

:flowerforyou:

PS If all else fails, fake it 'til you make it!

This is the right attitude to have... Go girl!!

auticus

When I was married I didn't care. I've been divorced about 9 years now and I have to say a lot of what I'm doing now is to make myself look better because I am interested in trying to date again, and it is very very very difficult to do so if you don't look your best.

stwalsh226

I always feel like this, especially whenever I'm being intimate with my boyfriend. I have myself all but convinced that he only touches me because he has to and he in no way projects this. He tells me I'm sexy and beautiful all the time. It's all in my screwed up little mind.

hjfischer

My husband finds me completely and utterly sexy. Me, not so much. I think having 4 kids, pushing 40 and remembering how I used to look in my 20's brings my self esteem down. I used to feel and was sexy. Now, I feel like a saggy mom. It is totally a mental state, but how to do you get to that state. I know, fake it until you make it. At some point, you need to feel something in order to get there. ;(

Kissybiz

I struggle sometimes. I'm older and heavier than I've ever been. But sexy truly is more of a mindset. Guys still find me sexy, but it's more of an air of confidence they see in me.. my mind. Plus when I'm not feeling sexy, a good shopping spree to my favorite lingerie store helps. Nothing like a new matching set of sexy bras and panties to uplift your sexual prowess.

Dayna154

Ladies.....the most attractive asset a woman can have is her own self confidence. If you know you are the "****" than you are the "****"

Woman are created from the most beautiful mold in gods cabinet.....never ever ever underestimate your own sex appeal.....beauty is all in how you hold yourself. And without a doubt you should always hold yourself to the highest level and never let a man determine what level your at.....YOU determine that level.

Sexy is as Sexy does.....work your assets, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.....class, self respect and again, self confidence are the only tools needed to bring out sexy.....

read my story online.....and while reading it, know that I feel sexier now than I ever have before....www.vivofitness.com.

We all come in all shapes and sizes, the excess weight is 'unhealthy' NOT to be mistaken for 'Unattractive'......woman should feel sexy everyday....wether it's next to a glass of wine, getting your hair or nails done.....a foot massage.....or just a hot bath....always feel sexy in your own skin and don't ever let anyone take that away from you.....

Doreen

Well said....