Nothing prepares you for this....

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fallenangelloves
fallenangelloves Posts: 601 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am 7 pounds from my goal. And I'll be honest... A year ago when I set this goal I don't know if I really believed I would achieve it. What I'm upset about is the response I am getting from my friends and family that have cheered me on this whole time changing their attitude from happy for me to resentment. I am getting comments like "you need to stop losing weight" from alot of people... Even my Pastor has said this to me 3 weeks in a row! Now I am 5'7" and weighing 157 pounds. I am by no means "skinny". My first response was "oh just a little", now it's "I'm just toning now". I am having to make excuses for what I'm doing! The lady at work that actually gave me my 30DS DVD walked past me the other day and said "I don't know how you kept doing that, I couldn't stand it!" and NEVER looked me in the eye! I don't discuss my weight loss... Never have... Because no one wanted to hear it was with eating healthy and exercise. They wanted the "quick fix". I learned to keep this to myself early on.

It seems like such a selfish thing to complain about and I know others would be like "oh wish I had your troubles", but this is another phase of this whole process and it's not one you can prepare for.

I can tell myself "you're fat and unfit and need to lose weight" I mean we all have done that right? But how do you switch to "I've almost accomplished what I set out to do, now I want to fine tune and see just how good I can be"?! Because let's be honest... We are surprised we did this good!
Am I skinnier than I have been in decades? YES! But that doesn't mean I'm the fittest and healthiest I can be... Now I can focus on that but I still need support, not criticism!

I am so thankful for the friends I have made on this site because I know there are others going thru this too... Thanks to you I wake up every day knowing I am not going to be criticized or judged. You know me!

This is my advice for the day... I hope everyone has a great one!

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Replies

  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
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    Where's the d*mn LIKE button?!?!?!
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    Congratulations on your success. Enjoy your accomplishment and Never stop logging. :drinker:
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    As you already know we are in the same boat. I am 5'2" and currently 127 lbs, 7 pounds from my goal. Hardly an anorexic weight, but I've been told that I am. I too get those questions, "Are you really still trying to lose weight?", but my new reply will be "No, I am living a healthier lifestyle". I've also be asked "When are you going to stop?" My new reply will be, " Why should I stop being healthier?". I've been close to responding with "When are you going to start?" or simply "None of your damn business." But thanks to you, Fallenangelloves, I am striving to "be the example" and will practice using my two new replies! ;)
  • fallenangelloves
    fallenangelloves Posts: 601 Member
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    And I'm adding them to my replies! Thanks for all your support!
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 807 Member
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    LOVE that graphic. I just shared it with my little support group :)
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Where's the d*mn LIKE button?!?!?!

    :flowerforyou:
  • BackwoodsMom
    BackwoodsMom Posts: 227 Member
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    Not too long ago a friend pulled my husband aside and asked if I was okay. "She doesn't have an eating disorder, does she?" Mind you, this comes from someone about 50 lbs overweight! I wonder what she'd say if she saw me now, 10 lbs less than I was before! And I still have about 20 lbs to go to my goal!

    It's not their body. It's yours! Continue to work on being healthy and fit! I know plenty of people at a good weight but very unhealthy/unfit. We all have to do what we feel works for us. There will come a time when they will get used to the new you and not say anything OR come to you for help in their weight loss. :laugh:
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Not too long ago a friend pulled my husband aside and asked if I was okay. "She doesn't have an eating disorder, does she?" Mind you, this comes from someone about 50 lbs overweight!

    How insulting. That's the stuff that gets under my skin!!!
  • MzFury
    MzFury Posts: 283 Member
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    You rule, of course. I would find all of that extremely annoying and am glad I probably have little of it to look forward to, but expect we might all at some point. I think I'd be saying, well, 30 Day Shred helped me get to the fittest I've ever been, which is a great thing, and to anyone questioning how much I ate or telling me not to keep losing weight, I'd say, I feed myself enough food, and very well, I exercise, and I am in no danger of being unhealthfully skinny, so thank you for your concern but I am truly fine, and healthier than I've been in a decade. arrgh!
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    good for you! just keep on, keeping on.
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
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    I think other than yourself the only person you need to listen to is your Dr. My husband gets the same comments (he's lost 102 lbs) and the comeback is "I'm healthy and the Dr. is happy." What can they say to that?! From the data you present I would say you look healthy and to "IGNORE THE HATERS!" Good for you BTW!
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 615 Member
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    You have every right to be proud of everything you've accomplished. Don't let the naysayers get into your head. You've worked hard and will continue to work hard. Let their words be your step ladder to climb above the petty jealousy and keep working towards your goals!

    I'm getting into the same boat and I still have 11 lbs to go. I've actually had people call me a "skinny *****" :laugh: :angry:

    We're not after skinny, we're after healthy. And just because we've lost weight doesn't mean who we are as people has changed. Only the cover of the book got upgraded, the words inside are the same.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    Some people will never get it. Working out and eating right is a lifestyle. It isn't always about losing weight.

    Stick with your game plan and don't let any of the external noise bring you down! As long as you are happy and healthy then that is all that truly matters. :)
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    LOVE this.

    I am in a similar place...my supporters continue to support me and I ignore the rest, like the person who said "a group of us think you are overdoing it with the running?" (I run 4 days a week right now as I am training for another half marathon; I've been cleared by my doctor and I work closely with a running coach, this comment came from someone who didn't understand why I cut a night out at the club an hour short so I could go home and get extra sleep before morning running group...)

    Keep on keeping on...you look great~
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
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    Yet again another example of people who have no filter/tact and feel that their unsolicited opinions about your personal journey are welcomed. :mad: Usually stems from their own insecurity, or maybe even envy of your success. So sad for them.

    I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight (which was my goal) but am still trying to lose more weight, because my goal is set at what makes ME happy and ME comfortable in my OWN skin. I have a couple of people say "you're done, right?" but you are doing this for you, not them, so honestly, forget the haters and their opinions--its your body. Be happy and proud of your success--it is YOURS! :flowerforyou:
  • meltygarden
    meltygarden Posts: 111 Member
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    Yeah. I've lost all the weight before and was pretty dismayed that, the closer I got to my goal, the more people kept trying to push me to "relax" about it, to ease off, to take a break, etc. And when that didn't work, then they got "worried" about me, that I was losing too much weight, etc. It definitely is more about them than it is about you.
  • andreacord
    andreacord Posts: 928
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    Where's the d*mn LIKE button?!?!?!
  • KingdomHeiress5
    KingdomHeiress5 Posts: 28 Member
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    You Rock!!! They do need a like button on here!! :)
  • simplyeater
    simplyeater Posts: 270 Member
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    Where's the d*mn LIKE button?!?!?!


    This
  • aweightymatter
    aweightymatter Posts: 222
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    Great job on your success! I am an inch shorter and a few pounds lighter than you but I'm going through the same thing -- no longer obviously fat, technically in a healthy weight range, etc. I feel like I have less of an "excuse" to tell people why I don't want to eat x, y, or z that they're eating, or why I want to exercise instead of going to happy hour, whatever....

    But you know what, this is our lifestyle now! Screw what other people think! :) I am not going for average, I am going for extraordinary, and that's why I like this site and other similar places on the Internet -- because we can find people who don't settle.

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