Man's Rules
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Someone showed me this today...Agree or disagree?
THERE'S A NEW SET OF RULES NOW!!
Now it's time for the man's rules. We always hear "the rules" for the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
THERE'S A NEW SET OF RULES NOW!!
Now it's time for the man's rules. We always hear "the rules" for the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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Replies
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But . . . but, they all say "1.". How do I know which one is the most important?0
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But . . . but, they all say "1.". How do I know which one is the most important?
The one that gets us our sammich made the quickest. :smokin:0 -
i love this one
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic
i know its wrong but can't help myself some times0 -
how funny!
as i was reading them to my husband, he was in fact itching his giggle berries (i know, tmi :laugh: ) 0 -
These are funny! They don't remind me of my boyfriend at all though... We are strange.0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.0 -
Damn.. feel sorry for any woman who has a guy like that0
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:mad: CRYING IS BLACKMAIL!0
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Hee hee, so funny.0
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.
In my 37 years of life that has never happened to me. When I have to sit on the toilet, I check to see if it is down. :noway: I don't care if I am drunk, sleepy, whatever, always check before you sit! Guys have to raise the seat for number ones, and close them for number two and manage never to confuse the two. Women only have to lower it, but forget to check... I am just saying.... Send the hate mail ladies.0 -
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.
In my 37 years of life that has never happened to me. When I have to sit on the toilet, I check to see if it is down. :noway: I don't care if I am drunk, sleepy, whatever, always check before you sit! Guys have to raise the seat for number ones, and close them for number two and manage never to confuse the two. Women only have to lower it, but forget to check... I am just saying.... Send the hate mail ladies.
You & me...we're meeting @ the bike racks for a rumble! :bigsmile:0 -
lol i want to see that fight. my money is on the lady one boot between the legs and any guy will be down haha0
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.
I put the seat down at my house... and the lid.0 -
Thanks...It makes life SO much easier if there is only '1' rule to remember about you complicated men folk!!
:blushing:0 -
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.
I put the seat down at my house... and the lid.
If the seat and lid don't go down at my house, the dogs drink out of it.0 -
I have to agree with these two. I learned when I was younger that I can't say "nothing" or expect my boyfriend be a mind reader.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.0 -
Hey I am scared of fighting, that's why I said it on a website and not to my girl. lol1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
In the middle of the night when you're half dead...the rude awakening you get from the *kitten* bath that ensues when the seat is left up is not overly appreciated.
In my 37 years of life that has never happened to me. When I have to sit on the toilet, I check to see if it is down. :noway: I don't care if I am drunk, sleepy, whatever, always check before you sit! Guys have to raise the seat for number ones, and close them for number two and manage never to confuse the two. Women only have to lower it, but forget to check... I am just saying.... Send the hate mail ladies.
You & me...we're meeting @ the bike racks for a rumble! :bigsmile:0 -
Way to stand with your fellow man! We will never overthrow the rule of women, with you jumping sides. lollol i want to see that fight. my money is on the lady one boot between the legs and any guy will be down haha0 -
BF laughed and said it was all true. lol0
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