Dose of "reality" check..................

ninerbuff

So when dealing with someone who's trying to walk again or recovering from cancer, is it often effective to remind them that they could be rotting and/or being tortured in a Turkish prison instead? --note, I really have no idea what Turkish prisons are like; they could be lovely.

It's really all relative. It's not a switch some people can just turn on or off. "Gosh someone presented me with rational reasons why I should be happy? Gee that really brightens my day!" I say that with sarcasm, though perhaps I shouldn't because it may actually work for someone...it certainly doesn't work for me. Emotions aren't always swayed by reason as much as we'd like them to be.

The buck-up, pull-yourself\-up strategy is one way to go. It is also sometimes completely ineffective through no fault of the person having a hard time. Don't get me wrong, the whining probably isn't going to be all that productive either, but telling someone not to whine is kind of just as silly.

Oh the whining won't stop. It never will. I made the thread to hopefully give people a better perspective of what they might be actually whining about. Sometimes they don't really realize that it is just whining and not a real problem that can't be solved.



A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

jwhit31

Thanks for the reality check. Sometimes we lose perspective because we are completely caught up in our own goals. Made me giggle a little bit because I have a no whining sign hanging up in my garage/gym. :laugh:

crysmcd1

LOVE this posting.

BrendaLee

Obesity kills the soul, spirit, mind and the body. After living like that for 20, 30, 40 years, you become so beaten down that you begin to wonder if there is even a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel empathy for anyone who has lived this life. No one would choose to live this way if their faculties were such that they could change it. Some of us get that second chance at life, and we somehow find a way to overcome all of the abuse, the pain, the mental anguish and the addiction. Most of us don't. If you've never been severely obese, then you have no clue what it means and what it does, especially after a lifetime. Yes, some people have it worse. There are always people who have it worse. That doesn't make my struggle any easier. I battle this every day, and I hope I have the strength to come out on top.

People get upset over a week without a loss or, even worse, with a gain, because they want the weight off so badly, and they're struggling every single SECOND to maintain control. A week can feel like an eternity of obsessing and counting and trying.

Some people could give more, but some people are giving everything they have the ability to give.

Jipples

Obesity kills the soul, spirit, mind and the body. After living like that for 20, 30, 40 years, you become so beaten down that you begin to wonder if there is even a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel empathy for anyone who has lived this life. No one would choose to live this way if their faculties were such that they could change it. Some of us get that second chance at life, and we somehow find a way to overcome all of the abuse, the pain, the mental anguish and the addiction. Most of us don't. If you've never been severely obese, then you have no clue what it means and what it does, especially after a lifetime. Yes, some people have it worse. There are always people who have it worse. That doesn't make my struggle any easier. I battle this every day, and I hope I have the strength to come out on top.

People get upset over a week without a loss or, even worse, with a gain, because they want the weight off so badly, and they're struggling every single SECOND to maintain control. A week can feel like an eternity of obsessing and counting and trying.

Some people could give more, but some people are giving everything they have the ability to give.

Let me say this, if a person is that debilitated because of being obese, then they need way more help than mfp.

This site, this forum, these people, are nothing more than tools to HELP us reach our goals. It's not my intention to minimize the strong effect this site can have, but again, WE have to take our own responsibility for reaching our goals.

TheRoadDog

I'll just internalize all my whining and complaining then, I guess. Until I can't stand it and crawl up on a freeway overpass with a rifle. I have that option.

BrendaLee

I'll just internalize all my whining and complaining then, I guess. Until I can't stand it and crawl up on a freeway overpass with a rifle. I have that option.

See, there are always options!

anyonebutmehaha

whine about anything but not feeling like going for walk/run or to gym or popping in that 30DS dvd....cause when anyone does that i just want to trade bodies w/ them for 2 minutes and ask "so ya feeling like it now?" ha.
but if i can hobble off to gym right now, cast and all, no matter how high the pain levels are today- you sure as hell can. lol, so there.
just go, do it and be happy you can.

clydethecat

i really appreciate this post, thank you. i think its easy to take this the wrong way. we all whine a little, we all have disappointment, and want someone to make us feel better. i'm not sure that's the right way to be. we have to find a better solution to the whining.

when you see the glass as half empty, how much fun are you to be around. are you draining your friends reserves because you cant get optimistic? its hard to see the glass has half full, trust me, i know, but its well worth it.

i spent a lot of time in cognitive therapy. it helped me be mindful of what i'm doing and why. it took me some time to apply it to weight loss, but since i have, I've been able to see the glass as half full.

my point is that, whining is a symptom of a greater issue. we all need to find the thing that makes us see the glass as half full.

oh, and count your blessings..

MangoAmanda

There are quite a few folks on mfp that need to read this.....jus sayin

For sure!
Too many here would rather wallow in self-pity than buck up and take action.
It gets quite pathetic.

^^ this. Some people just thrive on being a victim, and that 's what's annoying. I'll always be a shoulder to lean on for someone who really needs it, but some people make a big tragedy of their lives over nothing. Bring on the perspective!

funkycamper

Could not have said it better myself.... 3 years ago I went with a doctor script to the Wellness center for aquatic therapy... At 560 lbs. and unable to support my own weight for Any period of time this was my starting point. I watched alot of people come and go through those doors the last few years and now after losing most of my weight and entering the final stage of my weightloss with the help of braces (getting knee replacements within the year) no matter how much pain I am in that day, I suck it up and just do it cause I know I see people even worse than me up there and it makes me appreciate what I do have and can do...... Great Rant!!

You, sir, are an inspiration.

funkycamper

I wholeheartedly agree. I used to whine about how hard it was to get up and move when I was 450 lbs. I have arthritis that developed from that extreme weight, I also have a myriad of pain related issues because of carrying the equivalent of two extra people on my frame. Then I look at my dad...he was in a chemical accident which left his lungs permanently scarred. He had to use a respirator to breathe because the simplest scent of a rose would put him into respiratory arrest. He perservered and overcame becoming stronger every day. Then he was diagnosed with Parkinsons and yet again, he will not let anything get him down. He has recovered 100% range of motion on both arms despite rotator cuff surgery on BOTH arms...WITHOUT PAIN PILLS!! He has recovered from a fractured foot which left him needing to have a special mechanical cast because the bone wouldn't heal. Despite his medical challenges, he is the most active guy I know. He goes hunting, fishing, and enjoys his crafts. He build my mom a greenhouse, built a carport for his van, gardens, built literally every peice of furniture in my parents house except for the couch with an expert craftmanship that would sell for thousands in the store. Every time I want to whine about how hard it is...I ask myself "What would Dad do?" He's never sat down and felt sorry for himself, and he's been beat senseless by curveballs...why should I feel sorry for myself too?

Is it hard to lose weight, be healthy, and be active? Damn dippity it is!! Is it worth it to take those steps towards a better life? Abso-frickin-lutely!! I remember that I did this to MYSELF...no one spoon fed me lard until I blimped up...I ate, and ate, and ate. When I felt sorry for myself, I ate. When I was happy, I ate. Food was my comfort and companion until I learned to have a different relationship with food. Instead of living to eat, I now eat to live. Portion sizes, good choices, losing weight has no special science or formula...it's simple...eat less calories and get active. No magic pill, not special potion. It requires hard work, but all things that are worth acheiving require work!

Thanks ninerbuff for the reality check!

You and your dad are both inspirations, too! Wow.

I love this thread. Yes, I totally understand how an obese person feels and how daunting losing 100# is. I started at 237#. Definitely obese.

While I did lose about 40# gradually over several years just by tweaking my diet a bit, I really got into the idea of achieving fitness and losing more weight after my own debilitating experience. I had a pretty bad back injury where I could barely walk for a year and was in chronic pain. After it healed, I had to relearn to walk normally as my muscles and tendons had gotten used to just baby-steps. I also had to learn to stand up straight again because I had developed a bent-over posture. The tendons and muscles had to be re-trained. I then had a couple of years where just walking for exercise was all my back could handle so I walked but didn't feel strong or fit.

Being in that situation was horrible as I really thought I could never dance again, play on the beach with my dog throwing sticks and such, playing with future grandkids I assume I'll have someday, yada yada. That experience definitely made me appreciate my health and feel for those with chronic conditions that won't ever fully heal.

So now that my back is strong enough again to handle it, I'm lifting weights, running, cycling, swimming, taking various classes like yoga, pilates, cardio-kickboxing, spin classes, etc. Just being active and having fun with it. Am training to do a 2-day 200-mile bike event this summer. Also taking ballroom dance classes with my husband. I'm having a ball getting fitter every day.

Again, there was a time I couldn't walk and I never want to be in that situation again. Or, if something happens and I injure myself again and have the same kind of trial to get through, I want to go out with a bang, not a whimper.

Focusing on fitness goals instead of the scale takes any whimpering away, imho. I can control my food intake and my exercise but I can't control the scale. Inches are coming off faster than the scale weight and, hey, who cares? I couldn't care less if I weighed 250# as long as I could fit into a pair of size 8 jeans, LOL.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I'm just very grateful to have my health back and to be able to do these types of things again. I'm 54 and I feel younger now than I did at 44. Slimmer and stronger, too.

ninerbuff

You and your dad are both inspirations, too! Wow.

I love this thread. Yes, I totally understand how an obese person feels and how daunting losing 100# is. I started at 237#. Definitely obese.

While I did lose about 40# gradually over several years just by tweaking my diet a bit, I really got into the idea of achieving fitness and losing more weight after my own debilitating experience. I had a pretty bad back injury where I could barely walk for a year and was in chronic pain. After it healed, I had to relearn to walk normally as my muscles and tendons had gotten used to just baby-steps. I also had to learn to stand up straight again because I had developed a bent-over posture. The tendons and muscles had to be re-trained. I then had a couple of years where just walking for exercise was all my back could handle so I walked but didn't feel strong or fit.

Being in that situation was horrible as I really thought I could never dance again, play on the beach with my dog throwing sticks and such, playing with future grandkids I assume I'll have someday, yada yada. That experience definitely made me appreciate my health and feel for those with chronic conditions that won't ever fully heal.

So now that my back is strong enough again to handle it, I'm lifting weights, running, cycling, swimming, taking various classes like yoga, pilates, cardio-kickboxing, spin classes, etc. Just being active and having fun with it. Am training to do a 2-day 200-mile bike event this summer. Also taking ballroom dance classes with my husband. I'm having a ball getting fitter every day.

Again, there was a time I couldn't walk and I never want to be in that situation again. Or, if something happens and I injure myself again and have the same kind of trial to get through, I want to go out with a bang, not a whimper.

Focusing on fitness goals instead of the scale takes any whimpering away, imho. I can control my food intake and my exercise but I can't control the scale. Inches are coming off faster than the scale weight and, hey, who cares? I couldn't care less if I weighed 250# as long as I could fit into a pair of size 8 jeans, LOL.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I'm just very grateful to have my health back and to be able to do these types of things again. I'm 54 and I feel younger now than I did at 44. Slimmer and stronger, too.

You're part of the triple D club! Determination, Dedication and Discipline!!!!



A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ishallnotwant

You and your dad are both inspirations, too! Wow.

I love this thread. Yes, I totally understand how an obese person feels and how daunting losing 100# is. I started at 237#. Definitely obese.

While I did lose about 40# gradually over several years just by tweaking my diet a bit, I really got into the idea of achieving fitness and losing more weight after my own debilitating experience. I had a pretty bad back injury where I could barely walk for a year and was in chronic pain. After it healed, I had to relearn to walk normally as my muscles and tendons had gotten used to just baby-steps. I also had to learn to stand up straight again because I had developed a bent-over posture. The tendons and muscles had to be re-trained. I then had a couple of years where just walking for exercise was all my back could handle so I walked but didn't feel strong or fit.

Being in that situation was horrible as I really thought I could never dance again, play on the beach with my dog throwing sticks and such, playing with future grandkids I assume I'll have someday, yada yada. That experience definitely made me appreciate my health and feel for those with chronic conditions that won't ever fully heal.

So now that my back is strong enough again to handle it, I'm lifting weights, running, cycling, swimming, taking various classes like yoga, pilates, cardio-kickboxing, spin classes, etc. Just being active and having fun with it. Am training to do a 2-day 200-mile bike event this summer. Also taking ballroom dance classes with my husband. I'm having a ball getting fitter every day.

Again, there was a time I couldn't walk and I never want to be in that situation again. Or, if something happens and I injure myself again and have the same kind of trial to get through, I want to go out with a bang, not a whimper.

Focusing on fitness goals instead of the scale takes any whimpering away, imho. I can control my food intake and my exercise but I can't control the scale. Inches are coming off faster than the scale weight and, hey, who cares? I couldn't care less if I weighed 250# as long as I could fit into a pair of size 8 jeans, LOL.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I'm just very grateful to have my health back and to be able to do these types of things again. I'm 54 and I feel younger now than I did at 44. Slimmer and stronger, too.

You are seriously awesome!! Weightlifting, running, cycling?? I want to be you when my kids grow up.

Suziq2you

A-freaking-men.

maru84

I agree to a certain extent. That's great motivation to be grateful for being able to run, not being disabled, etc. I also work with people who are in a similar circumstance. However, I feel like the MFP forums should be a safe place to ask even the most obvious questions and talk about even the most trivial things about weight loss, since it's new to many of us.

ninerbuff

I agree to a certain extent. That's great motivation to be grateful for being able to run, not being disabled, etc. I also work with people who are in a similar circumstance. However, I feel like the MFP forums should be a safe place to ask even the most obvious questions and talk about even the most trivial things about weight loss, since it's new to many of us.

Asking questions because of increasing knowledge is fine. Saying "I worked so hard and ate so well, and nothing!!!! I want to eat a pint of ice cream now!" is something different.
I usually will take the time to answer anyone's questions (you should see my inbox), but to hear whining like makes me roll my eyes.



A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

katcj

Wow, you see, I thought this was a 'support' network where people come for 'support' when they're struggling. And being a weightloss tool, I figured it was where people could come and 'whine' when they were struggling with their weight loss to get said support.... gee, guess I was wrong.......

I appreciate what you're trying to say..... there are always going to be people with way more problems than you or I, but today I was feeling a bit disappointed that I'd only lost three quarters of a pound. I've worked hard on my exercise and have stuck to my diet, I'm just glad I didn't mention it on the forums now because whilst I know my problems are menial in comparison to some, it's something that's important to me and sometimes you just want to have a bit of moral support from others that are in a similar situation.

greekygirl

I totally agree with you. After watching my mother slowly waste away from Lou Gehrig's disease, I have a new perspective on things. When I don't feel like working out, I think of her in the end stages of her life and how she could not walk, talk, eat, do ANYTHING by herself. It is truly heartbreaking when I think of what she went through. I try not to take these things for granted anymore and worrying about my 4lb weight gain since Xmas seems so stupid....

Don't get me wrong, I do have my days where everything seems to suck and I whine too...especially about my weight, but when I think of how good I have it, my worries are really trivial. I can do something about my weight. Many people can't fix what is broken with them.

I get it, we all need support, but I really need to remember that many people are MUCH worse off than I am. I am grateful I can work out, walk, talk, get out of bed BY MYSELF, and the list goes on and on. Thank you for that reminder.

funkycamper

You and your dad are both inspirations, too! Wow.

I love this thread. Yes, I totally understand how an obese person feels and how daunting losing 100# is. I started at 237#. Definitely obese.

While I did lose about 40# gradually over several years just by tweaking my diet a bit, I really got into the idea of achieving fitness and losing more weight after my own debilitating experience. I had a pretty bad back injury where I could barely walk for a year and was in chronic pain. After it healed, I had to relearn to walk normally as my muscles and tendons had gotten used to just baby-steps. I also had to learn to stand up straight again because I had developed a bent-over posture. The tendons and muscles had to be re-trained. I then had a couple of years where just walking for exercise was all my back could handle so I walked but didn't feel strong or fit.

Being in that situation was horrible as I really thought I could never dance again, play on the beach with my dog throwing sticks and such, playing with future grandkids I assume I'll have someday, yada yada. That experience definitely made me appreciate my health and feel for those with chronic conditions that won't ever fully heal.

So now that my back is strong enough again to handle it, I'm lifting weights, running, cycling, swimming, taking various classes like yoga, pilates, cardio-kickboxing, spin classes, etc. Just being active and having fun with it. Am training to do a 2-day 200-mile bike event this summer. Also taking ballroom dance classes with my husband. I'm having a ball getting fitter every day.

Again, there was a time I couldn't walk and I never want to be in that situation again. Or, if something happens and I injure myself again and have the same kind of trial to get through, I want to go out with a bang, not a whimper.

Focusing on fitness goals instead of the scale takes any whimpering away, imho. I can control my food intake and my exercise but I can't control the scale. Inches are coming off faster than the scale weight and, hey, who cares? I couldn't care less if I weighed 250# as long as I could fit into a pair of size 8 jeans, LOL.

Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I'm just very grateful to have my health back and to be able to do these types of things again. I'm 54 and I feel younger now than I did at 44. Slimmer and stronger, too.

You're part of the triple D club! Determination, Dedication and Discipline!!!!



A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Thanks! :blushing: And once in awhile I do eat a pint of ice cream, too!

funkycamper

You are seriously awesome!! Weightlifting, running, cycling?? I want to be you when my kids grow up.

Everything is relative. Many people would not call my "running" running, LOL. Working on it. And, even though I'm striving to lift heavy. Heavy for me is not very heavy.....yet!

It is easier when you are an empty-nester again. I have a lot more time on my hands, less chores and housework, no running around to soccer/baseball/dance/piano/etc., so I have more time for me.

However, I sure wish I had done it when I was younger as now my kids have weight issues that, if we had tackled this as a family, they might not have to be dealing with as adults.

And, to be honest, the parents who work full-time, chase around after their kids, take care of their homes, AND eat healthy and exercise are the ones that really have my admiration. Wow! It makes me tired just typing all that.

funkycamper

Wow, you see, I thought this was a 'support' network where people come for 'support' when they're struggling. And being a weightloss tool, I figured it was where people could come and 'whine' when they were struggling with their weight loss to get said support.... gee, guess I was wrong.......

I appreciate what you're trying to say..... there are always going to be people with way more problems than you or I, but today I was feeling a bit disappointed that I'd only lost three quarters of a pound. I've worked hard on my exercise and have stuck to my diet, I'm just glad I didn't mention it on the forums now because whilst I know my problems are menial in comparison to some, it's something that's important to me and sometimes you just want to have a bit of moral support from others that are in a similar situation.

OK, here's how I see it. I don't mind if people express frustration and then ask for input. That's all part of the learning experience. Giving people information and a little pep talk are part of being a good support system. Nothing wrong with that.

I do get weary of people who are just shooting for maximum weight loss via "tricks" and who, when given solid information to help them achieve their goals, keep coming back and whining without trying any of them. Or who focus on the scale so much that they still whine even if they admit that they have lost inches or clothing sizes because the scale weight is more important than their size. Really? What sense does that make? I've lost a pant size since Christmas yet I've only lost 1#. Am I upset because I only lost 1? Heck no!

And I have seen some of the same people come back on the forums and repeatedly ask for more "tricks" even though people have helped and supported them numerous times in the past. Oy veh!

We have total control of our eating and exercise programs. We have no control over the scale. Focus on what you can control, tweaking here and there if needed, properly fueling your body, and the scale will respond appropriately when it's ready.

katcj

I do get weary of people who are just shooting for maximum weight loss via "tricks" and who, when given solid information to help them achieve their goals, keep coming back and whining without trying any of them. Or who focus on the scale so much that they still whine even if they admit that they have lost inches or clothing sizes because the scale weight is more important than their size. Really? What sense does that make? I've lost a pant size since Christmas yet I've only lost 1#. Am I upset because I only lost 1? Heck no!

And I have seen some of the same people come back on the forums and repeatedly ask for more "tricks" even though people have helped and supported them numerous times in the past. Oy veh!

We have total control of our eating and exercise programs. We have no control over the scale. Focus on what you can control, tweaking here and there if needed, properly fueling your body, and the scale will respond appropriately when it's ready.

Yes, I agree that if it's 'serial' whingers that don't take any notice of the advice offered then they deserve all they get, but to be honest, the OP didn't really make that entirely clear..... to me at least.

My frustration yesterday was because, whilst I had lost 3/4 of a lb, and an inch of my waist...... my hip measurement remained the same, and my tummy just isn't getting any smaller.... however, I think I know the reason for this, and sadly, it isn't anything that I can control. And although it really is quite trivial in comparison to what a lot of my family and friends are going through at the moment, it is enough to get me down a little. That said, I'm not going to give in and only whinged to my close family and friends.

pinktulip76

so true!!!! Get of it and MOVE!

tigersword

Wow, you see, I thought this was a 'support' network where people come for 'support' when they're struggling. And being a weightloss tool, I figured it was where people could come and 'whine' when they were struggling with their weight loss to get said support.... gee, guess I was wrong.......

I appreciate what you're trying to say..... there are always going to be people with way more problems than you or I, but today I was feeling a bit disappointed that I'd only lost three quarters of a pound. I've worked hard on my exercise and have stuck to my diet, I'm just glad I didn't mention it on the forums now because whilst I know my problems are menial in comparison to some, it's something that's important to me and sometimes you just want to have a bit of moral support from others that are in a similar situation.

I think this is part of what he's talking about. Complaining about losing "only" 3/4ths of a pound in a week is silly, as it's average weight loss. You should be averaging a pound a week, unless you have over a hundred pounds left to lose. I'm currently averaging about half a pound a week. And that includes 3 months with no change in weight at all.

ninerbuff

Wow, you see, I thought this was a 'support' network where people come for 'support' when they're struggling. And being a weightloss tool, I figured it was where people could come and 'whine' when they were struggling with their weight loss to get said support.... gee, guess I was wrong.......

I appreciate what you're trying to say..... there are always going to be people with way more problems than you or I, but today I was feeling a bit disappointed that I'd only lost three quarters of a pound. I've worked hard on my exercise and have stuck to my diet, I'm just glad I didn't mention it on the forums now because whilst I know my problems are menial in comparison to some, it's something that's important to me and sometimes you just want to have a bit of moral support from others that are in a similar situation.

Understand my position. As a trainer I always confront EXPECTATIONS that aren't realistic. For some here to expect to lose more than a pound a week, an inch a week, never to gain weight, weighing everyday and gauging that as success or failure is consistent amongst the whiners. While I can see frustration and voicing it, there is a difference for those that actually do the work and those that whine when in truth, they probably AREN'T really doing what it takes.
I do a lot of support for people here..........................I just do it in a Tough Love way. If you need any help just PM me.


A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

funkycamper

I do get weary of people who are just shooting for maximum weight loss via "tricks" and who, when given solid information to help them achieve their goals, keep coming back and whining without trying any of them. Or who focus on the scale so much that they still whine even if they admit that they have lost inches or clothing sizes because the scale weight is more important than their size. Really? What sense does that make? I've lost a pant size since Christmas yet I've only lost 1#. Am I upset because I only lost 1? Heck no!

And I have seen some of the same people come back on the forums and repeatedly ask for more "tricks" even though people have helped and supported them numerous times in the past. Oy veh!

We have total control of our eating and exercise programs. We have no control over the scale. Focus on what you can control, tweaking here and there if needed, properly fueling your body, and the scale will respond appropriately when it's ready.

Yes, I agree that if it's 'serial' whingers that don't take any notice of the advice offered then they deserve all they get, but to be honest, the OP didn't really make that entirely clear..... to me at least.

My frustration yesterday was because, whilst I had lost 3/4 of a lb, and an inch of my waist...... my hip measurement remained the same, and my tummy just isn't getting any smaller.... however, I think I know the reason for this, and sadly, it isn't anything that I can control. And although it really is quite trivial in comparison to what a lot of my family and friends are going through at the moment, it is enough to get me down a little. That said, I'm not going to give in and only whinged to my close family and friends.

I am not totally insensitive to what causes whining. I used to do it myself once in awhile. Although, pretty much just to my husband. I was able to get out of the whining mindset when I decided it was time to implement SMARTER goal-setting techniques into my fitness plans. S=specific; M=measurable; A=achievable; R=realistic or relevant; T=time sensitive or trackable; E=evaluate and enjoyable; R=reevaluate and rewarding. It's been a big help.

Your frustration is caused, imho, by being focused on the wrong things. We can't control how fast the scale moves. We have limited control over inches lost based on what kind of exercises we're doing and our genetics. We have total control of our eating and exercise plans. Focus on what you can control. Don't worry about the rest as these will eventually move in the direction you want as long as you are sticking to a good plan.

If you do this for awhile and don't see results, then maybe your food and exercise plan need reevaluating. Then come to the forums and other sources of information, read up to get educated and ideas, ask questions, try what tweaking makes the most sense, and give it a few weeks before reevaluating whether it works for you.

None of this requires whining. Whining is an action indicating there is some stress or, even worse, distress. Stress raises cortisol levels which negatively impact weight loss.

Above all, keep it fun. If I wasn't having fun on this journey, I would have quit a long time ago. It's fun to run farther, cycle faster or lift a heavy weight that I couldn't budge a few months ago. I haven't measured myself since I started but it's fun to fit into progressively skinnier jeans. Clothes getting too loose and baggy to wear gives me all the feedback on inches I need. I only weigh weekly because I'm in a weight loss competition with some family members which requires a weekly weight report. If not for that, I wouldn't be weighing more than about once a month or so.

I used to be a slave to the scale and tape measure. No more. Now I measure my increasing strength and endurance and the ability to physically do things I previously couldn't. The only thing I really record and assess is my weight-training workouts. The rest are just by how I feel. And it works without stress and no whining.

Example: I recently started a training program to increase my miles and speed in cycling due to a 200-mile ride I have planned for this summer. When I get home, I have to climb a long hill with some rather steep sections. The first time I did it, I could only climb to a certain point and walked my bike the rest of the way home. Did I whine? No. I did note just where I burned out with a goal to get past it the next time. As I continue to get farther up the hill each time, it's a success. And once I master this hill, I will seek out steeper hills to practice on.

Well, I've blabbered long enough. Attitude is everything and I have learned that whining is a negative effect on attitude. So find things to celebrate and keep the process fun and the rest will fall into place. IMHO, anyway. Enjoy the journey!

katcj

Understand my position. As a trainer I always confront EXPECTATIONS that aren't realistic. For some here to expect to lose more than a pound a week, an inch a week, never to gain weight, weighing everyday and gauging that as success or failure is consistent amongst the whiners. While I can see frustration and voicing it, there is a difference for those that actually do the work and those that whine when in truth, they probably AREN'T really doing what it takes.
I do a lot of support for people here..........................I just do it in a Tough Love way. If you need any help just PM me.

Well, that I can agree with then. I know that I won't have good weeks every week, and I also know that because I don't have so much to lose now, for me personally, the weight will start coming off more slowly and that's not really such a bad thing because I also know that's the best way to lose it and keep it off - for me, yesterday was a bit of a blip I think, not helped by being just a little bit impatient from time to time. And thank you for your offer of help - one day I might just take you up on that!

katcj

I am not totally insensitive to what causes whining. I used to do it myself once in awhile. Although, pretty much just to my husband. I was able to get out of the whining mindset when I decided it was time to implement SMARTER goal-setting techniques into my fitness plans. S=specific; M=measurable; A=achievable; R=realistic or relevant; T=time sensitive or trackable; E=evaluate and enjoyable; R=reevaluate and rewarding. It's been a big help.

Your frustration is caused, imho, by being focused on the wrong things. We can't control how fast the scale moves. We have limited control over inches lost based on what kind of exercises we're doing and our genetics. We have total control of our eating and exercise plans. Focus on what you can control. Don't worry about the rest as these will eventually move in the direction you want as long as you are sticking to a good plan.

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Well, I've blabbered long enough. Attitude is everything and I have learned that whining is a negative effect on attitude. So find things to celebrate and keep the process fun and the rest will fall into place. IMHO, anyway. Enjoy the journey!

I haven't heard the SMARTER thing quoted for a long time - but that's a good idea. I will try to keep that in mind, and you're right that things will fall into place if I stick with what I'm doing.

FWIW, I am usually very, very positive, and motivate my own friends quite well. It's rare that you will find me whining, but I'm human and every so often, I find myself needing the support that I can usually give to others.... but at least I do put the effort in and if I ask for advice, I am grateful of any offered and don't disregard what I've been told without giving it a try at least.

juliekat1955

Amen! I can totally relate to that. I went to my pulmonary doctor this week and she came in the room whining about her computer and her day being bad.....as I sit there using 10 liters of oxygen and end stage lung disease I just want to scream at her to shut the @#@% up, or walk a mile in one of her patients shoes.

Julie who is 52 and happy to wake up each day