Getting hit on now I have lost weight, awkward

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  • crystal_loga
    crystal_loga Posts: 106 Member
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    If he came up behind you and put his hands on you, and made a comment like that to you, it is UNACCEPTABLE! To me, that's borderline sexual harassment. I would report him, ASAP! If he can't control himself in a work environment, then he should NOT be working near children! This makes me sick just thinking about what he could be doing. I pray that this hasn't happened to others! Please speak up for yourself and report him!
  • Panda86
    Panda86 Posts: 873
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    Then today the head actually came up BEHIND me, put both hands on my hips from behind and spoke to me over my shoulder saying 'oo I though you were one of the children, I was just wondering who that tall young lady was and realised it was you'....Ju was almost having kittens and kept going on about it all the rest of the day/
    My question is - how do I handle this, or do you thing I am imagining it? Am I over reacting and should I just carry on smiling and being pleasant. I am not sure what to do, I need to work in this School from time to time.

    No, you are not overreacting. You need to tell him that its extremely unprofessional AND inappropriate. If he continues, I would file a complaint for sexual harassment. Getting a little extra attention is totally normal- but that's seriously crossing the line, and I can't imagine your husband would be very thrilled if he saw it. Just my opinion though!
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
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    Obviously he didn't think you were one of the children, but if he did, and walked up to a child and put his hands on her hips and whispered in her ear, I would call him a PERV!!!

    Now... As an HR Professional, what he is doing is Sexual Harrassment, and I would politely tell him that his attention is creating an Uncomfortable work environment, and I would seriously consider reporting it to HR.

    Good Luck

    Yes. While I feel bad that he did this to the OP, I'm actually a bit more worried that he seems to think it's OK to put his hands like that on the kids. I think he needs to be watched closely for the safety of the kids. Creepy.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I might get flamed for this, but I don't think it's sexual harassment until she has expressed to this person that does not appreciate his words or advances. If she does not say, I don't like that, or Please stop, how is he to know that she doesn't reciprocate any feelings? Lots of romances start in the workplace, yes even if the parties are married. Once she has told him, or his superior, or HR, then anything that occurs after that would be a violation and could land him in trouble.

    OP needs to speak up; subtlety doesn't work in these cases.
  • chrystee
    chrystee Posts: 295 Member
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    I would have to report him, just based on the comment alone. It skeeves me out.
  • TonyL68
    TonyL68 Posts: 133 Member
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    Touching you on the hips from behind!? Most definitely over the line. And the bit about children is very disturbing. Not sure what the laws are like in the UK, but as an educator yourself you may even have an obligation to report him for their protection. Even if you don't have a legal obligation, comments and actions like might evoke a moral obligation for some.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
    Name the region with such standards; let the migration begin! :drinker:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
    Name the region with such standards; let the migration begin! :drinker:

    I believe you might actually have a lot to contribute to people in the way of fitness advice. But the constant fat bashing and insults overshadow any helpful information you may have to impart. That is just my opinion, one I'm sure you will answer with something to the effect of "Suck it up sister and stop whining".
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.
    No, but the general notion of beauty bringing out the best and worse in people is just a reality.

    Set boundaries - even if that means a slap to the face or worse. When it was my wife, I ruined the guy.
    Welcome to my human race - :smile:

    If that is what you meant to express, you didn't do it very well. You made it sound like just because a woman is attractive, she should have to contend with unwanted touching and people being inappropriate. I wholeheartedly disagree with that.
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
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    I'm waiting for Killagb to admit that his sexual harassment panda needs some remedial training on Title Vii liability.....assuming he is US policy panda....
    Not likely to happen. You go ahead and start touching women on the hips at your work....see how that works out for yourself.

    I know I could not be successfully sued in my state in the US for doing so on one occassion....if I was an employee I might get discplined-- but not successfully sued. I just got a kick out of your "wrong" post and the smug "panda comment".... I am now assuming you are not in the US.... and I don't claim to know anything about sexuall harassment elsewhere... why I edited my original post...

    Are you for real? :huh:
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    That's not getting hit on, that's sexual harassment. Tell them that you are happily married and not interested, and that you do not appreciate inappropriate behavior. Also, write down the date and approximate time of the incidents, in case you need to make a formal complaint.
    ^^^^^^^
    THIS

    Again, a no brainer.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
    Name the region with such standards; let the migration begin! :drinker:

    There are several African nations who see being heavy as a sign of wealth, which in turn denotes attractiveness. Also, in many South Pacific countries, heavy people, both male and female, are considered desirable.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.
    No, but the general notion of beauty bringing out the best and worse in people is just a reality.

    Set boundaries - even if that means a slap to the face or worse. When it was my wife, I ruined the guy.
    Welcome to my human race - :smile:

    If that is what you meant to express, you didn't do it very well. You made it sound like just because a woman is attractive, she should have to contend with unwanted touching and people being inappropriate. I wholeheartedly disagree with that.
    No, but expect it, and be ready to deal with it.
    Come folks!
    BUCK UP!
    Am I the only person who knows how to handle bad people?
    I think NOT!
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
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    That's not getting hit on, that's sexual harassment. Tell them that you are happily married and not interested, and that you do not appreciate inappropriate behavior. Also, write down the date and approximate time of the incidents, in case you need to make a formal complaint.

    This.
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
    Options
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    I don't think people have to expect that others will come up behind them, uninvited, and touch them.
    No, but the general notion of beauty bringing out the best and worse in people is just a reality.

    Set boundaries - even if that means a slap to the face or worse. When it was my wife, I ruined the guy.
    Welcome to my human race - :smile:

    If that is what you meant to express, you didn't do it very well. You made it sound like just because a woman is attractive, she should have to contend with unwanted touching and people being inappropriate. I wholeheartedly disagree with that.
    No, but expect it, and be ready to deal with it.
    Come folks!
    BUCK UP!
    Am I the only person who knows how to handle bad people?
    I think NOT!

    I understand what you are saying, but you do not seem to communicate your arguments in the most effective ways.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Options
    This is to be expected.
    Being fit is attractive while fat is NOT.

    Welcome to the human race.

    Actually I must correct you on that. In many other cultures "fat" is considered healthy and attractive. I myself, prefer being thin and fit -- but it's not necessarily the view of the whole human race.
    Name the region with such standards; let the migration begin! :drinker:

    There are several African nations who see being heavy as a sign of wealth, which in turn denotes attractiveness. Also, in many South Pacific countries, heavy people, both male and female, are considered desirable.
    Sounds like Branson Missouri... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • lmalaschak
    lmalaschak Posts: 346 Member
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    Ask him pointedly whether the school has a zero tolerance sexual harassment policy.

    Good idea!
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I was just skimming through the posts and read this as " Getting it on, now that I've lost weight, awkward."
  • habsfan802
    habsfan802 Posts: 61 Member
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    I guess I have not hit the awkward part where I am getting hit on ... something to look forward too I guess :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    This isn't getting hit on. This is sexual harassment. If you go by the book, all cases like this should be reported to management immediately. If a manager hears about something like this and does not bring it to the attention of HR, that manager is liable and puts the organization at risk of being sued for harassment.

    If you're not gonna go by the book, kick his *kitten* the next time he puts his hands on you.

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