anyone else think this is weird.....
ChantalD75
Posts: 680 Member
anyone else think this is weird.... my ex lives in the city so on his night with the boys during the week he has been taking them to his mom's place that lives 10 min away from me. But he isn't talking to his parents right now. SO tonight he wants to come over to my place to visit the boys... fine... ok... Now he calls me and asks if I have pots and pans and stuff like that so he can cook the supper for the boys... My partner thinks this whole thing is weird... he doesn't know yet the ex wants to cook the supper for the kids... what would you do??? Help!
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i say give him credit for trying to still see his kids! If my ex has something come up 99% of the time he will not come up with a plan B.0
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so, what are you suppose to do while he is in your house, using your kitchen? Is he asking you to leave while he visits?? It's weird to me.......0
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so, what are you suppose to do while he is in your house, using your kitchen? Is he asking you to leave while he visits?? It's weird to me.......
yes he told me I can leave and go shopping... NOOOOOOOOOOOT He asked me today if I had plans I said nope... So I am thinking that I will go and use the treadmil while he is cooking... and then go into the TV room while he visits.... my youngest has a hockey practice so they would be out of teh house by 6... so should be only for an hour or hour and half....0 -
Yea, thats just weird. I would tell him to take the kids somewhere...do you guys have like a Chuck E Cheese around you or someplace he can take the kids to have fun? I would not be comfortable with my ex in my house cooking for my kids....weird!0
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ummm...awkward i grant ya that.....but hat off to the guy.....4 makin the effort...a lot wudnt...n think of the kids...... hope all works out ....0
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I don't think it 's weird. I would do what you plannned and walk on your threadmil.
He sounds like a good father.
However he needs to understsnd he can not make it a habit. Hopefully he and his parents will work things out .0 -
Yea, thats just weird. I would tell him to take the kids somewhere...do you guys have like a Chuck E Cheese around you or someplace he can take the kids to have fun? I would not be comfortable with my ex in my house cooking for my kids....weird!
This. He's your ex for a reason!0 -
seems kinda weird . . . the real issue is that he needs to make up with his parents.0
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ok, time for my soapbox moment. I think it is petty for it to be "awkward" and "weird". It's both of your jobs, as parents, to work together to raise those kids, regardless of the history between you. Do you have to sit down with him, be in the same room? No, but give the dude credit for still being there. I know plenty of women who would gladly open their house up if it meant the father would be part of the childrens life.
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I don't mind him coming over... I have no issues with that. he has done this in the past... just find it weird him cooking for the kids in my kitchen...
I have suggested he pick up a bucket of chicken for him and the boys... he seemed ok with that.0 -
aybe he wants to see you too just a thought0
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i still dont get the issue, why is him cooking in your kitchen weird?0
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This is weird...I would tell my EX that I have established boundries and he needs to honor them. He doesn't need to be in your business...just sayin.0
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That's a bit awkward. Your home is your person and private space. Tell him to take the kids for pizza and a movie and drop them back off when they're done.0
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Red flag...he is trying to creep back into your life.0
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That's a bit awkward. Your home is your person and private space. Tell him to take the kids for pizza and a movie and drop them back off when they're done.
This!0 -
seems to me he is doing the decent thing, wants to see his children and make sure they eat home cooked food, surely nobody can fault him for that, I think good on him for being a decent parent and caring. My ex has nothing to do with his children. His choice, not mine.
I say bloody good on him. and not weird, good.0 -
It would be a no go for me....he is outta my life for a reason. Was he going to leave the dishes and use your food too? Boundaries Darlin!!0
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i say give him credit for trying to still see his kids! If my ex has something come up 99% of the time he will not come up with a plan B.
This. My "father" made little to no effort to see us when him and my mom separated. It may be awkward for you, but at least he's trying to see his kids, and you two seem to be on decent enough terms.0 -
:flowerforyou:0
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I think it would be healthier for the kids to see that the parents can get along and stand each other vs him taking the kids out for junk. unless there is some creepy stalker back history then I do not see this as trying to get back into her life. I would bend over backwards to keep a positive relationship with my ex....for my daughters sake.0
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I think it would be healthier for the kids to see that the parents can get along and stand each other vs him taking the kids out for junk. unless there is some creepy stalker back history then I do not see this as trying to get back into her life. I would bend over backwards to keep a positive relationship with my ex....for my daughters sake.
Exactly! I don't get the weirdness to this, I view it as him just putting in effort to see the kids and make them a "home" cooked meal rather than taking them out for crap food.0 -
anyone else think this is weird.... my ex lives in the city so on his night with the boys during the week he has been taking them to his mom's place that lives 10 min away from me. But he isn't talking to his parents right now. SO tonight he wants to come over to my place to visit the boys... fine... ok... Now he calls me and asks if I have pots and pans and stuff like that so he can cook the supper for the boys... My partner thinks this whole thing is weird... he doesn't know yet the ex wants to cook the supper for the kids... what would you do??? Help!
My x used to treat my home like he could walk in and out of it but have put a stop to it now as I want to be able to feel 'at peace' in my own place, ykwim. Funnily enough, when you mention that he is 'not speaking' to his parents, it makes me think that he can't just feud with his parents knowing that he can take the boys back to your house! Perhaps he would make more effort to get on with his own parents if he didn't have several alternative houses to flounce off to. I'd be inclined to tell him that his relationship with his parents is his concern. You and your new partner will be at home this evening.
But I'm tough like that. Because I've HAD to be. I was a scraggly ol' door mat for long enough.0 -
Gosh you're all very mature!! i'd rather my x took the children out for 'some junk'.0
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"Exactly! I don't get the weirdness to this, I view it as him just putting in effort to see the kids and make them a "home" cooked meal rather than taking them out for crap food. "
It's also CHEAPER. Sorry to be such a cynic. If he's got good reason to watch the cents then fair enough, I'm frugal myself. But is he going to arrive at your house and use all your ingredients and then leave 3 saucepans and every utensil and ten plates in the sink!? (oh I guess I have just learnt every lesson the hard way!!)0 -
"Exactly! I don't get the weirdness to this, I view it as him just putting in effort to see the kids and make them a "home" cooked meal rather than taking them out for crap food. "
It's also CHEAPER. Sorry to be such a cynic. If he's got good reason to watch the cents then fair enough, I'm frugal myself. But is he going to arrive at your house and use all your ingredients and then leave 3 saucepans and every utensil and ten plates in the sink!? (oh I guess I have just learnt every lesson the hard way!!)
i didn't hear that part in any of her argument regarding him cooking...coming in and trashing her house, ok now there is a valid reason not to allow it. BUT, she simply said she didn't want him cooking in her kitchen....no reason given.0 -
I think it's funny how, with absolutely no reasoning, the guys has turned from wanting to cook a meal for his kids, albeit, in his ex's kitchen, to trashing the place, using all her food and leaving all the dirty dishes for her to clean...0
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Short story .. my ex hasnt seen our 4 kids in close to a year ..
I would give anything for him to come to my house , cook dinner , take a shower and a nap if he wanted to as long as the kids were happy .
Granted it may be awkward for you but I dont think its weird . It would be weird if he wanted to bring the kids to his moms and then come back and cook for you
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LET THE MAN COOK FOR CHR*ST SAKES!!!! :laugh: HEHEHE....0
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LET THE MAN COOK FOR CHR*ST SAKES!!!! :laugh: HEHEHE....
*muah!0
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