How to deal with racists?

tlath70

There is no right way to deal with it. I can tell you that as a black woman, it is a life-long balancing act to decide when is the right or wrong time to speak up and tell the offending person what is what. The problem today is that many people are far too comfortable expressing their views and have lost the ability to self censor (if they ever had it in the first place). The anonymity of the internet has added to this problem, and the result is an onslaught of racist stereotypes of ALL kinds. Everyone hates someone (or so we are to believe). It is a sad state of affairs...it feels as though Americans are slipping backwards regarding racial issues when we should all be moving forward.

I am sorry to say this, but I don't think there is a simple answer to your question. I know it is very cliche', but only you will will know when it is best for you to bite your tongue and when it is time for you to speak up. Because you are worried about protecting your job, I would say, serve your offensive customers with a cold, but polite demeanor...meaning, give them what they came to your company for and no more. Be professional and direct, but do not engage them or comment.

But, you should also know that your employer is legally required to protect your work environment, so I would also reccomend that you discuss it with your manager...what you are describing can be considered a hostile work environment that your employer must protect you from, see explanation from the EEOC website:

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/practices/harassment.cfm

I know that making a complaint to your manager seems like a lot, but I wanted you to know that you do have the option. While you are on the EEOC site, also look up your rights against retaliation by the company if you do choose to make a formal complaint.

Good luck.

smantha32

I am Scottish and white. When I was in the states I could not buy alcohol using my passport as id as the sign above the teller said "driver's licence is the only form of identification we accept". I was arguing my case...and loosing.... I was speaking to the manager asking why my uk driver's licence and passport were unacceptable. I then said that I was going to to police to report a racist incident. The reply was that as I was white it wasn't racist. No, but "country of origin discrimination" which is the same thing...... I was dealing with ignorance. I also asked where i cd get a usa driver's licence!! There were people behind me in the line up telling the manager to serve me and others telling the manager to get me out of there as I was holding them up. I left empty handed with threats of them calling the police! I decided that the police would be just as ignorant and did not want to spend my holiday in jail and did not peruse the matter.
Ignorance is the root of all discrimination. I am not really sure of the best way to educate people with deep set hatred. Invite everyone for beers?!
Wow I sound like an alcoholic.
Keep clam and good luck!

Not trying to flame or be flamed, but when you go to another country, being expected to comply with that country's laws isn't racist or discriminatory.
No one hates you because you didn't have a US drivers license.

They might've hated you for being a *kitten* and holding up the line however. heh

tanigrrrrr

Im not advocating anything here but, instantly dismissing someones opinions because they are racist makes you the same as them because you are dismissing their thoughts and feelings because you dont agree with what they believe. Surely it wouldnt be acceptable to you if the roles were reversed and you were a racist and someone came in saying how much they loved the asian race or something and you were offended by it. Would it be okay for you to turn around and tell them to stop with their opinion because you dont agree with it.
ive worked in customer service before, dealing with many varied people with varied opinions, level of social status etc, unfortunately for you customer service is about being accepting of the customer and their opinions and helping them in any way you can. If you are too deeply offended you need to not be in that job, you simply arent cut out for it. My only suggestion other than that for you, without making yourself a complete hypocrite is directing the conversation away from anything race related so that noone has the opportunity to make comments that offend you.

myofibril

Ignore. Really the best way to handle this situation is ignore and be the better person. What are you going to do? Argue with an ignorant buffoon that thinks he is right? That would be ridiculous.

Pretty much this.

Be happy, live your life with dignity, lead by example, be calm, confident and fair. Words only have the power that you allow them to have. Let the insecure have their blanket of ignorance.

The one thing I've found that racists can't stand is having their beliefs questioned in a non emotional, neutral and rational way. I think they prefer it when people get emotional as it affords them some kind of power.

Take it from me. I am permabanned form chimpout. My crime (apart from the colour of my skin) was wanting to debate race issues objectively...

Anomalia

I hate to say this, but white people do not hold a monopoly on racism.....nor do rednecks, Christians, college professors, prostitutes, Native Americans, communists, Chinese, McDonald's employees, Nascar drivers, lesbians, cookie monsters, or anyone else!!! Racism comes in all shapes and sizes.... and it affects us ALL.

I agree x 1,000,000,000. White people do not hold a monopoly on racism and being white does not make one responsible for racist acts committed by other white people.

Anomalia

I am Scottish and white. When I was in the states I could not buy alcohol using my passport as id as the sign above the teller said "driver's licence is the only form of identification we accept". I was arguing my case...and loosing.... I was speaking to the manager asking why my uk driver's licence and passport were unacceptable. I then said that I was going to to police to report a racist incident. The reply was that as I was white it wasn't racist. No, but "country of origin discrimination" which is the same thing...... I was dealing with ignorance. I also asked where i cd get a usa driver's licence!! There were people behind me in the line up telling the manager to serve me and others telling the manager to get me out of there as I was holding them up. I left empty handed with threats of them calling the police! I decided that the police would be just as ignorant and did not want to spend my holiday in jail and did not peruse the matter.
Ignorance is the root of all discrimination. I am not really sure of the best way to educate people with deep set hatred. Invite everyone for beers?!
Wow I sound like an alcoholic.
Keep clam and good luck!

Not trying to flame or be flamed, but when you go to another country, being expected to comply with that country's laws isn't racist or discriminatory.
No one hates you because you didn't have a US drivers license.

They might've hated you for being a *kitten* and holding up the line however. heh

Agree. A country requiring that you comply with their laws is not racist.

MaryB2

Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

That's not the greatest reply to tackle racism when it's derogatory in itself.

I'm sure she understands that which is why she is trying to get ideas of tactful ways to handle it.

ninerbuff

I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them, because you know, jesus hated jews and blacks too....or whatever reasoning they fabricate in their minds. I heard from someone that if you don't speak up, it's basically like you being on their side, and that silence can be just as dangerous as the saying themselves, so how would you approach a situation like that.

Mind you, I date black guys, and almost half my family is mexican or puerto rican, and I have a gay brother and uncle...it really does hurt me to my core when i hear people say derrogatory things about someones race or sexual preference, and sometimes it even happens from my co-workers. Both my jobs are in customer service, so that being said i NEVER say ANYTHING because i don't want the person to freak out and get me in trouble at work. So how could someone tactfully say something to get them to stop speaking such negative things around me. I have tried in the past, gotten my point across, but left it with a lot of negativity. Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

Easiest way................................move. But you can't change people's minds if they are set. Have tried that already.


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cekeys

If stand up comedy has taught me anything, it's that you are allowed to poke fun at your own race/culture lol..

But to be honest, I have so many friends from different cultures (live in NYC). We may make fun of eachother, but there is obviously no hate. I would have the same sarcastic reaction that the OP had to whomever was spitting out hate.

"You see, white people have names like Lenny and black people have names like Carl."

lind3400

Im not advocating anything here but, instantly dismissing someones opinions because they are racist makes you the same as them because you are dismissing their thoughts and feelings because you dont agree with what they believe. Surely it wouldnt be acceptable to you if the roles were reversed and you were a racist and someone came in saying how much they loved the asian race or something and you were offended by it. Would it be okay for you to turn around and tell them to stop with their opinion because you dont agree with it.
ive worked in customer service before, dealing with many varied people with varied opinions, level of social status etc, unfortunately for you customer service is about being accepting of the customer and their opinions and helping them in any way you can. If you are too deeply offended you need to not be in that job, you simply arent cut out for it. My only suggestion other than that for you, without making yourself a complete hypocrite is directing the conversation away from anything race related so that noone has the opportunity to make comments that offend you.

Yeh, really whats the point??? Your not gunna change that person forever just by telling someone....they're just gunna go somewhere else with their racist words....

mystiedragonfly

Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.

I am Pagan, White, and Democrat.... guess what? I am against racism too!!

Gandhi and Buddha did the exact same thing as Jesus.

All three didn't do what they did because of their religious or political affiliation... they did it because it was the right thing to do.

Being against racism is not a religious virtue..... it is a human virtue.

alyson820

I've had to deal with it too, and I always say 'this hospital treats everyone equally, and I would really appreciate it if you kept those views to yourself.'

TDGee

I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them,

so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

IRONY! Get yours while it's hot and fresh! That is not how to do it.

^ +1 :]

She was trying to show him how silly he sounded saying racial slurs about someone...anyone!. DUH!


Some people...thick as s***!

I guess the point that I was trying to make about complaining about racism while making stereotypical comments being ironic was lost on you then? And do we really need to "prove" how enlightened we are by putting in disclaimers about how racist we AREN'T?

People are people.

clydethecat

i dont know many racists, but i did run into one at a friends wedding. i was standing in a group of guys i had met once before when an indian couple walked by us. this genius says to the group "hey watch out, there goes some sandn******..."

well i was shocked, no one in the group said anything... i am confrontational when i am confronted with stupidity..
so i said, "are you serious?"

he said yeah, why those a-rabs dont belong here!"..

to which i said "wow, can i shake your hand? i mean really, i have never met someone so ignorant, and you sir, have brought ignorant to a whole new low."

he said,"well i guess you're one of them liberals."

i said no, just a human being who thinks ignorance and racism are terrible traits. both of which you have. so thank you for your honesty.. i'm off to talk to a better class of people. oh and all you how stood here and did nothing, you are just as bad as him." and i walked off before they could say anything...

probably not the best venue to confront someone. but he said it so they couple could hear him, and that got my ire up... that and the fact that none of the "men" i was standing with said a thing about it... pu**ies...

calgarychick2012

Lol I like your blunt approach:laugh:

cekeys

Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.

I am Pagan, White, and Democrat.... guess what? I am against racism too!!

Gandhi and Buddha did the exact same thing as Jesus.

All three didn't do what they did because of their religious or political affiliation... they did it because it was the right thing to do.

Being against racism is not a religious virtue..... it is a human virtue.

My statement was to explain to the OP that not all white, conservative Christians are racist, nor is the one we follow. That was the problem with the people she was dealing with.

Zee48

I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them, because you know, jesus hated jews and blacks too....or whatever reasoning they fabricate in their minds. I heard from someone that if you don't speak up, it's basically like you being on their side, and that silence can be just as dangerous as the saying themselves, so how would you approach a situation like that.

Mind you, I date black guys, and almost half my family is mexican or puerto rican, and I have a gay brother and uncle...it really does hurt me to my core when i hear people say derrogatory things about someones race or sexual preference, and sometimes it even happens from my co-workers. Both my jobs are in customer service, so that being said i NEVER say ANYTHING because i don't want the person to freak out and get me in trouble at work. So how could someone tactfully say something to get them to stop speaking such negative things around me. I have tried in the past, gotten my point across, but left it with a lot of negativity. Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

I detest racists and negativity but I almost feel off my chair laughing at your reply to that jerk! But I can see where it could get really ugly.

I'm American - caucasian or white or whatever you choose to call me because I am Cherokee Indian/Engish/Irish/Dutch/German, age 63 blahblahblah, my daughter (who also has Russian blood somewhere in her lineage) married an American who just happens to be of Hispanic heritage which (OH GASP) makes my two beautiful grandchildren Mexicans. SO WHAT! God created us all, created us all the same except some are boys & some girls and He loves us all the same no matter what nationality we are or any of the other stuff the world tries to lay on us. God cares what is in your heart between Him & each of us individually not what color your skin is. Did those idiots who say Jesus doesn't like Jews forget that He himself was a Jew? Why would He hate His own creation?

Best of everything to you as you strive to distance yourself from ignorance and I hope you figure out a more diplomatic way to deal with the idiots. I've jumped in the middle of more that one idiot for saying ugly things about the Hispanic/Latin/Mexican residents by lumping them all into one pot just like they do the other ethnic groups. Whew this is American folks. Wonder what their true heritage is?

MaryB2

I come from a background of banjo playing cousin marrying...my family is full of uneducated people and musically talented people....and i'm white..most my family have southern accents, and for peepsake, my grandmas name is FREDLEE...doesn't get much more hillbilly that that lol

If you're so against racism, I don't get why you'd poke fun at your own "cultural" background.
Smells a little hypocritical to me.

'Cuz it works. It's hers and she owns it, and no one can use it to hurt her once she accepts it.

This is actually my favorite counter-racist tactic. Yeah, I'm part Jewish. My people have beaky noses and tiny glasses and go bald early and hoard money like crazy. There's a lot of us controlling businesses 'cuz we're a culture that values education, so we're typically smart as f&ck and handle our sh$t better than the average biggoted high school drop-out. Now that all that sh#t is true, what else ya got, Mr. Racist? And my buddy Mike, who just happens to be African-American? He's got stickers on his bass amp for Kool-Aid, KFC, Glock, DUB rims, Trojan Xtra Large Condoms, etc... and since all he love all that sh&t and it's all true and he could care less if you know, what else ya got, Mr. Racist?

See how that works?

I get that, but I don't get why you would hit back at a racist with a racist/culturally derogatory comment aimed at them & not aimed at yourself if you mean it in a witty comeback way. It just seems wrong to fight one racist comment with another.

Fighting back with the same kind of comment may actually show the person what it feels like.

LeilaFace

I had to leave the south because I seriously couldn't stand it. Being a minority to some degree you have to ignore it. If I let every racist thing ever said to me or in front of me get to me - I would be a crazy person.

^^^ Agreed! To be fair though, I did grow up with a family that didn't' like whites (Hawaii). Racism is everywhere.

Jeneba

I am just sooooo proud of all of you beautiful MFP people! :flowerforyou: