How to deal with racists?

InTenn

I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them, because you know, jesus hated jews and blacks too....or whatever reasoning they fabricate in their minds. I heard from someone that if you don't speak up, it's basically like you being on their side, and that silence can be just as dangerous as the saying themselves, so how would you approach a situation like that.

Mind you, I date black guys, and almost half my family is mexican or puerto rican, and I have a gay brother and uncle...it really does hurt me to my core when i hear people say derrogatory things about someones race or sexual preference, and sometimes it even happens from my co-workers. Both my jobs are in customer service, so that being said i NEVER say ANYTHING because i don't want the person to freak out and get me in trouble at work. So how could someone tactfully say something to get them to stop speaking such negative things around me. I have tried in the past, gotten my point across, but left it with a lot of negativity. Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

Ironically, you fail to see the prejudice in your own post. "Redneck town?" "Extreme conservatives who feel like...." So do all extreme conservatives feel that way? Or do they feel that way because they are "E.C.s".

Is it insensitive to fail to capitalize Mexican, Chinese, Jews...? Are you treating them as something less than yourself. I noticed you capitalized "I". Interesting.

Bigotry is in the eye of the beholder I guess, and it isn't limited to pigmentation. If "they" stereotype, they are bigots. If you do it, you are just reporting the facts. Gotcha.

MrsTattie

The law of the state was that I had to be 21, not have a USA driver's licence! The hand written note was not law! The manager and staff were not really obeying the law of the land either!

I am Scottish and white. When I was in the states I could not buy alcohol using my passport as id as the sign above the teller said "driver's licence is the only form of identification we accept". I was arguing my case...and loosing.... I was speaking to the manager asking why my uk driver's licence and passport were unacceptable. I then said that I was going to to police to report a racist incident. The reply was that as I was white it wasn't racist. No, but "country of origin discrimination" which is the same thing...... I was dealing with ignorance. I also asked where i cd get a usa driver's licence!! There were people behind me in the line up telling the manager to serve me and others telling the manager to get me out of there as I was holding them up. I left empty handed with threats of them calling the police! I decided that the police would be just as ignorant and did not want to spend my holiday in jail and did not peruse the matter.
Ignorance is the root of all discrimination. I am not really sure of the best way to educate people with deep set hatred. Invite everyone for beers?!
Wow I sound like an alcoholic.
Keep clam and good luck!

Not trying to flame or be flamed, but when you go to another country, being expected to comply with that country's laws isn't racist or discriminatory.
No one hates you because you didn't have a US drivers license.

They might've hated you for being a *kitten* and holding up the line however. heh

Agree. A country requiring that you comply with their laws is not racist.

LeilaFace

^^^^^ YEP. I'm Hawaiian/Italian/Japanese and I've put up with a lot of crap because of it. There's no way to handle it.

That's a great mix! I bet you have to put up with a lot of marriage proposals because of it too!

Hahahahaha You're awesome.

mrsbarz

I am a redhaired, welsh, disabled latter-day saint (Mormon). The only thing I feel for those who feel that that they MUST say something derogatory about my hair colour / nationality / mobility / religion is pity. It takes someone who is ignorant and uneducated to say things like that about another human being. When I was younger I was told that people like that only say the things they do to get a reaction...when they don't get a reaction, they tend to go away. I have taught this principle to my sons, and they use it in their everyday lives.

Farfourah

Undercover racists are the worse. I'd rather a racist be open and upfront about their racism than a closeted racist.

Anomalia

The law of the state was that I had to be 21, not have a USA driver's licence! The hand written note was not law! The manager and staff were not really obeying the law of the land either!

I am Scottish and white. When I was in the states I could not buy alcohol using my passport as id as the sign above the teller said "driver's licence is the only form of identification we accept". I was arguing my case...and loosing.... I was speaking to the manager asking why my uk driver's licence and passport were unacceptable. I then said that I was going to to police to report a racist incident. The reply was that as I was white it wasn't racist. No, but "country of origin discrimination" which is the same thing...... I was dealing with ignorance. I also asked where i cd get a usa driver's licence!! There were people behind me in the line up telling the manager to serve me and others telling the manager to get me out of there as I was holding them up. I left empty handed with threats of them calling the police! I decided that the police would be just as ignorant and did not want to spend my holiday in jail and did not peruse the matter.
Ignorance is the root of all discrimination. I am not really sure of the best way to educate people with deep set hatred. Invite everyone for beers?!
Wow I sound like an alcoholic.
Keep clam and good luck!

Not trying to flame or be flamed, but when you go to another country, being expected to comply with that country's laws isn't racist or discriminatory.
No one hates you because you didn't have a US drivers license.

They might've hated you for being a *kitten* and holding up the line however. heh

Agree. A country requiring that you comply with their laws is not racist.

I have also declined to serve someone alcohol who only had their passport. Its up to the establishment. It was not a racist act, it was just policy of my place of work.

Anomalia

I am a redhaired, welsh, disabled latter-day saint (Mormon). The only thing I feel for those who feel that that they MUST say something derogatory about my hair colour / nationality / mobility / religion is pity. It takes someone who is ignorant and uneducated to say things like that about another human being. When I was younger I was told that people like that only say the things they do to get a reaction...when they don't get a reaction, they tend to go away. I have taught this principle to my sons, and they use it in their everyday lives.

Hey I have red hair and I used to be a mormon! *high five*

amyy902

we deal with them by kicking them. and spitting on them. stupid racist i hate them. we are all the same, bones, muscles ligaments tendons blood, cells and water, the colour is irrelevent. we are all the same, we are all born and created in the same way and we all cease to exist in the same way. so poo poo to racists!!!!

mrsbarz

I am a redhaired, welsh, disabled latter-day saint (Mormon). The only thing I feel for those who feel that that they MUST say something derogatory about my hair colour / nationality / mobility / religion is pity. It takes someone who is ignorant and uneducated to say things like that about another human being. When I was younger I was told that people like that only say the things they do to get a reaction...when they don't get a reaction, they tend to go away. I have taught this principle to my sons, and they use it in their everyday lives.

Hey I have red hair and I used to be a mormon! *high five*

High fives all round!!!!

Navmachine

The law of the state was that I had to be 21, not have a USA driver's licence! The hand written note was not law! The manager and staff were not really obeying the law of the land either!

I am Scottish and white. When I was in the states I could not buy alcohol using my passport as id as the sign above the teller said "driver's licence is the only form of identification we accept". I was arguing my case...and loosing.... I was speaking to the manager asking why my uk driver's licence and passport were unacceptable. I then said that I was going to to police to report a racist incident. The reply was that as I was white it wasn't racist. No, but "country of origin discrimination" which is the same thing...... I was dealing with ignorance. I also asked where i cd get a usa driver's licence!! There were people behind me in the line up telling the manager to serve me and others telling the manager to get me out of there as I was holding them up. I left empty handed with threats of them calling the police! I decided that the police would be just as ignorant and did not want to spend my holiday in jail and did not peruse the matter.
Ignorance is the root of all discrimination. I am not really sure of the best way to educate people with deep set hatred. Invite everyone for beers?!
Wow I sound like an alcoholic.
Keep clam and good luck!

Not trying to flame or be flamed, but when you go to another country, being expected to comply with that country's laws isn't racist or discriminatory.
No one hates you because you didn't have a US drivers license.

They might've hated you for being a *kitten* and holding up the line however. heh

Agree. A country requiring that you comply with their laws is not racist.

not to be the devil's advocate here, but they most likely refused you service because they prob just couldnt tell if yours was a fake, since they had never seen one before. sucks, but it's been done at some places where i worked at. if i've never seen a nevada driver's license and i live in wisconsin, it's going to be difficult for me to know a legit one, and one that's been zeroxed on a piece of plastic. i'll be the first to admit that the system is flawed in that respect.
sorry you had a bad incident in america, please come back again. we're not all idiots.

macpatti

Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.

Thank you!

MrsTattie

Just trying to show that ignorance and discrimination affects us all (even white) in some small way. I most def was discriminated against in that instance due to my country of origin and the staff's inability to see that official papers which had let me into their country and hire a car were not good enough to buy alcohol. As I could not provide their id I was discriminated against. I wasn't American. Therefore they discriminated against all non Americans. Small incident in my life. Not a daily battle and I hope that the original poster finds a solution - and quickly.

The law of the state was that I had to be 21, not have a USA driver's licence! The hand written note was not law! The manager and staff were not really obeying the law of the land either!

I am Scottish and white. When I was in the states I could not buy alcohol using my passport as id as the sign above the teller said "driver's licence is the only form of identification we accept". I was arguing my case...and loosing.... I was speaking to the manager asking why my uk driver's licence and passport were unacceptable. I then said that I was going to to police to report a racist incident. The reply was that as I was white it wasn't racist. No, but "country of origin discrimination" which is the same thing...... I was dealing with ignorance. I also asked where i cd get a usa driver's licence!! There were people behind me in the line up telling the manager to serve me and others telling the manager to get me out of there as I was holding them up. I left empty handed with threats of them calling the police! I decided that the police would be just as ignorant and did not want to spend my holiday in jail and did not peruse the matter.
Ignorance is the root of all discrimination. I am not really sure of the best way to educate people with deep set hatred. Invite everyone for beers?!
Wow I sound like an alcoholic.
Keep clam and good luck!

Not trying to flame or be flamed, but when you go to another country, being expected to comply with that country's laws isn't racist or discriminatory.
No one hates you because you didn't have a US drivers license.

They might've hated you for being a *kitten* and holding up the line however. heh

Agree. A country requiring that you comply with their laws is not racist.

I have also declined to serve someone alcohol who only had their passport. Its up to the establishment. It was not a racist act, it was just policy of my place of work.

k0nfyo0zed

i used to work in customer service, and came across this very very frequently. anytime anyone said anything to me that i found offensive, i would just stare at them like they grew a third head. when it was against "crazy church people" i'd let them know my husband's a pastor. or if they bashed on military, "my brother's in the air force" if it was gays "my favorite cousin is gay", on and on and so forth, so they know they just insulted me, too. i knew they were making the comments thinking i would agree with them. it drove me nuts. i had a coworker who is a lesbian and i had a customer come up to me and say "somethin wrong with this place, little girls lookin like little boys all the time" i just looked down at my plain jeans and generic plain teeshirt and work boots (similar outfit to the supposed offensive employee) and apologized if my apparel offended him, but we have to be comfortable where we work, and it's a messy place.

BigDaddyBRC

Life is an interpretation. Rather than pass judgement on others, pass it upon yourself. You only need to worry about yourself.

gp79

Racism is a part of life. It's best to accept it, not partake in it and move on.

DaniellePF

There is no right way to deal with ignorance.

^^THIS^^ If they harbor such narrow minded views on what kind of people they are based on things like race, religion, sexual orientation, ect...then they are not the kind of people to be reasoned with. I guess what I am saying is don't have a battle of wits with an un-armed person ;-) My life is full of family and friends of different color/sexual orientation. I think about all of the amazing, wonderful people in my life I would have missed out on knowing if I had dismissed them because they were a different color. So, people that do miss out on getting to know people for these reasons, feel bad for them, don't participate in the convo (because you won't change their minds, trust me) and be glad you don't think like that.

azarazar

I am a middle aged, midwestern, white, male, fiscally conservative, business professional.

After reading that, I am sure many already have a view of a racist in their mind. That is also racism. Yet, I am not racist. I do have negative opinions about some people, however that is based on their actions not on how they were born or what they believe.

For example, I have a negative opinion towards those that commit violent crimes. Based on our current prison population, some would say that means I am racist against a certain race. Yet, that is completely wrong. I am against any violent criminal, including the sex offenders who are more predominantly white. Disliking an action or behaviour is not racism.

As a fiscal conservative who believes that government spending is out of hand, I am automatically lumped together with extreme social conservatives. I may share some watered down versions of there views, but certainly not all of them. Fiscally conservative is a far cry from socially conservative (by the way, they have rights as well).

azarazar

Just a little historical note for the younger crowd here. I had uncles during the depression who had to be extra careful when traveling in towns that had the KKK. No they were not black, they were catholic. KKK racism was very widespread.

Also, where I grew up, back in the mid 1800s, Irish were treated like dirt by the Germans. They were even buried in separate sections of the cemetaries. Unfortunately, racism doesn't ever seem like it will go away. It just seems to move on to new targets.

macpatti

Racism is a part of life. It's best to accept it, not partake in it and move on.

No, it's not best to accept it! Stand up and speak up.

LadyBeryl

Racism is a part of life. It's best to accept it, not partake in it and move on.

No, it's not best to accept it! Stand up and speak up.

This and more this.