To all you haters

Nopedotjpeg

Christina Hendricks! She is thick with lots of true curves.

Dat *kitten*.

Dat EVERYTHING!

christibam

Right. I was more "Dat *kitten*"ing to the 'dat *kitten*' pic on the bottom lol.

I named the hard drive on my laptop 'Dat *kitten*' so that, once a month, my comp will ask me if I want to "Back Dat *kitten* up". True story.

smallaffair

I love people who are sitting here defining what it means to be curvy and who gets to call themselves that. So many sentient dictionaries on this site.

People be happy with themselves if they want. They can call themselves curvy or thick or BBW. They can feel beautiful. It's really not your place to decide they can't. Don't like their body type? Don't have sex with them, don't have that body type yourself. You cannot, and should not attempt to, control how other people view their own body. Fat or Thin. If someone is on this site they are very likely here to get healthy. That doesn't always mean skinny. And if they want to lose weight but already have self esteem? Good for them.

My thoughts exactly.

Nopedotjpeg

I named the hard drive on my laptop 'Dat *kitten*' so that, once a month, my comp will ask me if I want to "Back Dat *kitten* up". True story.

That would be funny if I hadn't heard it two months ago. :indifferent:

But A for effort. :happy:

jcstanton

Yes, we're all beautiful, intelligent people on the inside as the original poster suggested, but that doesn't do us a bit of good if we're dead of a heart attack, or diabetes, or some other weight-related malady at a ridiculously young age.

I suppose that makes me a "hater"...I don't intend to be, but such is life I guess.

Agree with this !!

I don't think she was saying there aren't any consequences to staying at an unhealthy weight as long as you're happy that way. I think the point she was trying to make was that, the line, "you have such a pretty/cute face" is like the line, "you're a nice girl, but you're just not my type". There are implications in those lines...hurtful implications. "You have a cute face, but that doesn't matter because you're fat." "You're a nice girl, but you don't look good enough for me." When you've heard that for years on end, you get tired of hearing it. But, then, I wouldn't expect someone who's probably never had a serious weight problem to understand.

Then take it from someone who has had a serious weight problem. Somebody saying "you're not my type" or "you have a cute face" isn't an insult. I was insulted throughout school about my weight, and many other times outside of it. It sucks, and it also sucks how we beat ourselves up about our weight, but the perceived notion that the world is against us because of it is incredibly unhealthy.

It might be emotionally unhealthy to THINK the world perceives me differently, but I've not always been fat. I remember how differently I was treated when I was healthy and athletic. I'm here to tell you that, in most cases, it's not a "false perception" on my part. It's REALITY. And saying, "you're not my type" isn't the insulting part. It's saying "You're a nice girl, BUT you're not my type." Oh, okay, so what exactly IS your type? A mean-spirited, hateful girl? On a few occasions I've even asked the guy, "Really? What's your 'type'?" Very rarely can they give me an answer that makes sense or is legitimate. And the line "you have a cute face" is almost always succeeded by something like,"if you could just lose a little weight..." I'm sorry, but the mentality, "Just be confident, and everything will work out the way you want it to." Is a load of bunk. Confidence alone is not going to get me what I want. I have LOADS of confidence in WHO I am, and what I have the potential to be. I am NOT so confident in other people's ability to look past my weight and see me for my true worth.

christibam

I named the hard drive on my laptop 'Dat *kitten*' so that, once a month, my comp will ask me if I want to "Back Dat *kitten* up". True story.

That would be funny if I hadn't heard it two months ago. :indifferent:

But A for effort. :happy:

SomeEcards or something. Soooo I set it like that. It's still funny when it actually pops up though. Not so funny when Dat *kitten* had a bad sector though. I wasn't sure if I should be mad or have some lulz.


Edit to add*

Pardon my bluntness, but some of you women need to stop being such women about things. Looks ARE important and if a guy says, "You're a nice girl, but you're not my type." Why does it matter? It should be obvious right then and there that you wouldn't be compatible anyway, right? You can't force someone to be into you and at least they're being up front with you. Try not to read so much into things that men say... most of the time there isn't actually a hidden message from a phrase like that.

Elizabeth_C34

Yes, we're all beautiful, intelligent people on the inside as the original poster suggested, but that doesn't do us a bit of good if we're dead of a heart attack, or diabetes, or some other weight-related malady at a ridiculously young age.

I suppose that makes me a "hater"...I don't intend to be, but such is life I guess.

Agree with this !!

I don't think she was saying there aren't any consequences to staying at an unhealthy weight as long as you're happy that way. I think the point she was trying to make was that, the line, "you have such a pretty/cute face" is like the line, "you're a nice girl, but you're just not my type". There are implications in those lines...hurtful implications. "You have a cute face, but that doesn't matter because you're fat." "You're a nice girl, but you don't look good enough for me." When you've heard that for years on end, you get tired of hearing it. But, then, I wouldn't expect someone who's probably never had a serious weight problem to understand.

Then take it from someone who has had a serious weight problem. Somebody saying "you're not my type" or "you have a cute face" isn't an insult. I was insulted throughout school about my weight, and many other times outside of it. It sucks, and it also sucks how we beat ourselves up about our weight, but the perceived notion that the world is against us because of it is incredibly unhealthy.

It might be emotionally unhealthy to THINK the world perceives me differently, but I've not always been fat. I remember how differently I was treated when I was healthy and athletic. I'm here to tell you that, in most cases, it's not a "false perception" on my part. It's REALITY. And saying, "you're not my type" isn't the insulting part. It's saying "You're a nice girl, BUT you're not my type." Oh, okay, so what exactly IS your type? A mean-spirited, hateful girl? On a few occasions I've even asked the guy, "Really? What's your 'type'?" Very rarely can they give me an answer that makes sense or is legitimate. And the line "you have a cute face" is almost always succeeded by something like,"if you could just lose a little weight..." I'm sorry, but the mentality, "Just be confident, and everything will work out the way you want it to." Is a load of bunk. Confidence alone is not going to get me what I want. I have LOADS of confidence in WHO I am, and what I have the potential to be. I am NOT so confident in other people's ability to look past my weight and see me for my true worth.

The only confidence issue you have is the one that prevents you from blowing off your haters.

You're putting way too much stock into what other people think of you in the first place.

Your weight has nothing to do with it. People are going to judge. It's part of life. It happens no matter if you are big, small, fit, flabby, etc. It's life. You'll be rejected by men if you're skinny too.

You have a very "woe is me" attitude about this that if you drop, you'll be much happier.

P.S. If you get rejected, WHY would you go follow that up with "well, what is your type?" That just screams "desperate" to a man. Not everyone is going to be attracted to you. That's fine. I'm sure you're not attracted to every man out there also. Let it go and move on. Don't take it personally.

meshashesha2012

Pardon my bluntness, but some of you women need to stop being such women about things. Looks ARE important and if a guy says, "You're a nice girl, but you're not my type." Why does it matter? It should be obvious right then and there that you wouldn't be compatible anyway, right? You can't force someone to be into you and at least they're being up front with you. Try not to read so much into things that men say... most of the time there isn't actually a hidden message from a phrase like that.

i so agree with this. attraction does not and probably should not be based on being politically correct. people are attracted to whatever types they are physically attracted to and usually there's no logical or intellectual basis for it .

i mean i definitely wouldnt want a guy to try and guilt me, question my compassion, or call me shallow or whatever because i can't possibly see myself kissing him and what not, so i definitely don't fault anyone else when the tables are turned.

kennethmgreen

Then take it from someone who has had a serious weight problem. Somebody saying "you're not my type" or "you have a cute face" isn't an insult. I was insulted throughout school about my weight, and many other times outside of it. It sucks, and it also sucks how we beat ourselves up about our weight, but the perceived notion that the world is against us because of it is incredibly unhealthy.

Best, most honest and most useful thing I've read on the forums in awhile.

Cupcake1015

I'd like to decouple "curvy" from weight.

There are people who are curvy at size 2, 10, and 22 (and up). There are also people at all of those sizes who aren't curvy at all.

For example: Sara Jessica Parker is skinny and curvy
Jessica Biel is thick and strong.

For lots of people, weight loss is what they hope a ticket to self-esteem.

For others it is a ticket to health. And some others it is just a means for more shopping options.

I am like the OP. I am not trying to work on my confidence. Just my fitness.

Sarah Jessica Parker is "curvy"? dear God...

christibam

Sarah Jessica Parker is "curvy"? dear God...

I'd say so.




Thin, but she has curves.

jcstanton

Yes, we're all beautiful, intelligent people on the inside as the original poster suggested, but that doesn't do us a bit of good if we're dead of a heart attack, or diabetes, or some other weight-related malady at a ridiculously young age.

I suppose that makes me a "hater"...I don't intend to be, but such is life I guess.

Agree with this !!

I don't think she was saying there aren't any consequences to staying at an unhealthy weight as long as you're happy that way. I think the point she was trying to make was that, the line, "you have such a pretty/cute face" is like the line, "you're a nice girl, but you're just not my type". There are implications in those lines...hurtful implications. "You have a cute face, but that doesn't matter because you're fat." "You're a nice girl, but you don't look good enough for me." When you've heard that for years on end, you get tired of hearing it. But, then, I wouldn't expect someone who's probably never had a serious weight problem to understand.

Then take it from someone who has had a serious weight problem. Somebody saying "you're not my type" or "you have a cute face" isn't an insult. I was insulted throughout school about my weight, and many other times outside of it. It sucks, and it also sucks how we beat ourselves up about our weight, but the perceived notion that the world is against us because of it is incredibly unhealthy.

It might be emotionally unhealthy to THINK the world perceives me differently, but I've not always been fat. I remember how differently I was treated when I was healthy and athletic. I'm here to tell you that, in most cases, it's not a "false perception" on my part. It's REALITY. And saying, "you're not my type" isn't the insulting part. It's saying "You're a nice girl, BUT you're not my type." Oh, okay, so what exactly IS your type? A mean-spirited, hateful girl? On a few occasions I've even asked the guy, "Really? What's your 'type'?" Very rarely can they give me an answer that makes sense or is legitimate. And the line "you have a cute face" is almost always succeeded by something like,"if you could just lose a little weight..." I'm sorry, but the mentality, "Just be confident, and everything will work out the way you want it to." Is a load of bunk. Confidence alone is not going to get me what I want. I have LOADS of confidence in WHO I am, and what I have the potential to be. I am NOT so confident in other people's ability to look past my weight and see me for my true worth.

The only confidence issue you have is the one that prevents you from blowing off your haters.

You're putting way too much stock into what other people think of you in the first place.

Your weight has nothing to do with it. People are going to judge. It's part of life. It happens no matter if you are big, small, fit, flabby, etc. It's life. You'll be rejected by men if you're skinny too.

You have a very "woe is me" attitude about this that if you drop, you'll be much happier.

P.S. If you get rejected, WHY would you go follow that up with "well, what is your type?" That just screams "desperate" to a man. Not everyone is going to be attracted to you. That's fine. I'm sure you're not attracted to every man out there also. Let it go and move on. Don't take it personally.

Like I said, it's not a lack of confidence in WHO I am that is the problem. It's a lack of confidence in other people's willingness to get to know who I am because they have an inability to look past physical appearance. People who have taken the time to get to know me, usually end up liking (in many cases even loving) me a great deal. However, in my experience, the general population is not so willing to look past the exterior (and I'm not JUST referring to obesity, either), to see the person underneath. And I can see how you could easily misunderstand the tone of my comments and think that I have a "woe is me" attitude. I promise you, I do not. The only point I have been trying to make is that it's an insult to my intelligence to have people tell me that I'm not being treated differently because I'm fat. I know the reality is that, whether we want to admit it or not, we ALL make snap judgements about people based on their appearance (again, not just referring to obesity). I would just rather someone be honest with me about it, than have them try to "let me down easy" by telling me something that amounts to a lie. I HATE being lied to for any reason. That is why I would dare to challenge a guy's rejection by asking him, "If you're acknowledging that I'm a nice girl, but telling me I'm not your type, I'd really like to know what you mean by that." It's not about desperation at that point. The way I see it, if a guy has the guts to reject me, he should have the guts to be honest with me about WHY he's rejecting me. Believe it or not, it would be much easier for me to handle the rejection if he told me the truth. Rejection is always hurtful, but it just rubs salt in the wound when someone insults my intelligence by lying about the reason for it. If you're not attracted to me because I'm fat, just say, "You seem like a nice girl, but I'm just not physically attracted to girls who are overweight." It would still sting because rejection for ANY reason is never pleasant. But I can't and won't be angry at someone who has the guts to tell me the truth. By the way, backhanded compliments like, "You have a cute/pretty face, but..." are just as irritating. Compliment me, or don't. Make up your mind.

Elizabeth_C34

It's a lack of confidence in other people's willingness to get to know who I am because they have an inability to look past physical appearance.

Why do you care so much what they think? Not everyone has to find you attractive.

People who have taken the time to get to know me, usually end up liking (in many cases even loving) me a great deal. However, in my experience, the general population is not so willing to look past the exterior (and I'm not JUST referring to obesity, either), to see the person underneath.

Why not spend more effort and thoughts focusing on these people than the ones not interested in getting to know you?

I would just rather someone be honest with me about it, than have them try to "let me down easy" by telling me something that amounts to a lie. I HATE being lied to for any reason.

Maybe they don't want to be mean to you or rude to you. Would you rather them say, "No thanks, you're too fat to date"? I don't think so. Plus, either way, you have to just let it go and move on so why badger them about it? If someone came up to you to hit on you who wasn't your type, would you say, "No thanks. You've got a huge beer gut and hair sticking out of your nose."?

iluxoxo211

Hello.. Let get something clear here.. I am a big girl.. I am getting healthy and that is the only reason why I am losing a 131lbs.. I feel happy in my skin and so should everyone else!! I didnt mean to put anyone down saying thin women think they have more pull but sorry to say that just because YOU dont think that way doesnt mean ALOT of thin women dont! I mean ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! Thank you to all you ppl who supported and liked this post. (: It took me a while to feel happy in my own skin and it wasnt the weight that stopped me from thinking that.. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO JUDGE YOU NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE!!

iluxoxo211

I glanced through a few comments...Why is everyonen jumping the gun?? Nothing she said mentioned or hinted that fat is healthy. She is simply saying that she is sexy, some find it sexy and there is nothing wrong with that. There's tons of skinny folks that are far from being sexy and HEALTHY. Many of you need a reality check.....confidence and dream killers is what you are

THANK YOU very true!!

kyrstensmom

Hello.. Let get something clear here.. I am a big girl.. I am getting healthy and that is the only reason why I am losing a 131lbs.. I feel happy in my skin and so should everyone else!! I didnt mean to put anyone down saying thin women think they have more pull but sorry to say that just because YOU dont think that way doesnt mean ALOT of thin women dont! I mean ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! Thank you to all you ppl who supported and liked this post. (: It took me a while to feel happy in my own skin and it wasnt the weight that stopped me from thinking that.. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO JUDGE YOU NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE!!

You aren't doing yourself or anyone else any good by making generalizations and then expecting everyone to just nod and agree. Your original post was offensive to "skinny" people, and you need to just own that you feel that way instead of defending what you said. You have a right to feel how you feel, but so do I. I've been thin and I've been fat..it has never dictated my self-worth, nor do I let others influence my self-worth. Only I can control how I feel about myself.

michellebd1980

Love it!

jcstanton

Why do you care so much what they think? Not everyone has to find you attractive.

Okay, I'm pretty sure I made it clear that I'm not worried about what people think if it turns out they don't want to know me. I'm saying the experiences I've had with people in the past hinders my willingness to even APPROACH people initially with the purpose of FINDING OUT if they'd like to get to know me (either as friends or something more), because I am not confident that they will be willing or able to see past what I look like in order to get to know me. I've experienced so much rejection that it's become questionable to me if it's even worth feeling the sting of being rejected for the CHANCE at meeting someone who MIGHT take an interest in me.

Why not spend more effort and thoughts focusing on these people (who already know and love me) than the ones not interested in getting to know you?

Again, because I don't know if someone is interested in getting to know me or not unless I approach them to find out. Again, my experience tells me that the majority have difficulty looking past the exterior to see that I'm worth getting to know, which, in turn affects my willingness to approach them and find out if the individual in question is one of the rare few who CAN see me for who I am inside. It's quite the social conundrum, I know.

I would just rather someone be honest with me about it, than have them try to "let me down easy" by telling me something that amounts to a lie. I HATE being lied to for any reason.

Maybe they don't want to be mean to you or rude to you. Would you rather them say, "No thanks, you're too fat to date"? I don't think so. Plus, either way, you have to just let it go and move on so why badger them about it?

There's a big difference between being rude and being honest. I believe the rest of what I said answers this question.

Believe it or not, it would be much easier for me to handle the rejection if he told me the truth. Rejection is always hurtful, but it just rubs salt in the wound when someone insults my intelligence by lying about the reason for it. If you're not attracted to me because I'm fat, just say, "You seem like a nice girl, but I'm just not physically attracted to girls who are overweight." It would still sting because rejection for ANY reason is never pleasant. But I can't and won't be angry at someone who has the guts to tell me the truth.

If someone actually had the guts to be that honest with me, I might actually feel compelled to thank him for his honesty rather than burst into tears over the rejection. Also, his demeanor and tone of voice tell me if he's intending to be rude, or if he's just being frank.

If someone came up to you to hit on you who wasn't your type, would you say, "No thanks. You've got a huge beer gut and hair sticking out of your nose."?

I wouldn't say it like that, no. But I might say, "I'm sure you're a nice guy, and I'm always up for meeting a new friend. However, the truth is I'm simply not physically attracted to you, therefore, there is no potential for romantic interest from me. I don't intend to be hurtful, but I prefer people to be honest with me so I try to extend the same courtesy to others." Hopefully, he takes it like a man, since most men will tell you, often with great pride, that they prefer people to be frank with them so they knowexactly where they stand. If he doesn't take it very well, that would only help me feel less guilty (for lack of a better word) about rejecting him.

ElementalEscapee

All people are real. My skinny friends feel self conscious about not being able to gain weight, and going all omg I haters I'm curvy woo skinny people can suck it, is just hypocritical, immature, and idiotic. Great, you're getting healthier, that's super, just cool it on the whole "curvy" pride thing. I don't see many people posting about haters hating on their thin bodies, do you? Thought not.

jadedone

Sarah Jessica Parker is "curvy"? dear God...

I'd say so.




Thin, but she has curves.

Yup, she is what I'd call a curvy size 2. (or 0) And curvier than half of the models (they typically don't have hips).