Anyone else feel weird being married...

Crystal_Pistol

Together 11 years, married for 7.

Trophyyf

????? My hubs is on MFP or should I say was (it wasn't for him) He sees how many male friends I have on MFP and he can see my post. I feel as long as you are not being secretive about any of your post it shouldn't be a big deal. MFP is on his iPhone but is my account. He can log on whenever he wants. He knows I'm not trying to mess up the rest of my life with him just because I might have said way to go to someone male or female that is doing a awesome job reaching their goals.

If you feel weird about it it means there must already be trust issues. It couldn't have just started with MFP.

SueD66

no

gungho66

GREAT JOB EVERYONE! -EVERYONE ON HERE DESERVES A ROUND OF APPLUASE FOR TAKING A STEP TOWARDS BETTER HEALTH, TO CONGRATULATE SOMEONE FOR THAT EFFORT IS WHAT MOTIVATES US TO CONTINUE. IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN SUPPORT FOR ONE ANOTHER UNLESS YOU MAKE IT MORE.

Elizabeth_C34

No problem with it here.

He has no problem with many of my MFP friends being male either. Many of my friends in real life are male too, though. It really just depends on your boundaries and where you set them. As long as you are open with your wife about saying, "WOW, look at this girl who lost XX lbs! That's so cool!" and letting her share in this stuff, I think you're fine.

fatty_to_fitty

I haven't read every reply so this may be repeating what someone had said but in response to the OP I am gobsmacked and I do not understand the threat to your marriage in posting or talking to females. Ever. On here in Real life, full stop. Talking not being a midnight support buddy sending emails or swapping numbers. But saying congratulations on a job well done.

Q. If I am single and talk to guys am I inviting them all to come on to me? No I am having a conversation.

So you think because single = up for it then married must = don't get involved in that game you may be showing willing or causing offence?

Don't even get me started on what you should do if you are gay or bisexual! Walk around with your eyes shut and not talk to people maybe?

Barbara98

My husband completely trust me talking to ANYONE. The thing is, is that we met on the internet 14 years ago. Like my husband says to people and myself is that " if he can't trust me then he don't want me" and that goes the same for him. We see jealous people all the time at a club we go to and it drives us crazy. If you can't trust your spouse 100% your always wondering and its not worth it. We have a pretty great relationship. My soul mate from 1200 miles away

rbear713

been with my wife for 18 and married 9 - she doesnt even give me grief about physically talking to and even flirting with any girls - the bottom line is she understands that I've made a commitment to her, and now to our children - we made a deal 9 years ago that said something about for better or for worse, richer or poorer, etc.... - she trusts me, and I trust her...period - no questions asked...

Trust is the issue here - maybe you not trusting yourself. I agree with others here that if you are unsure you should let her see what you're up to - being supportive to others on MFP is almost as rewarding as being supported...words of praise should not ever be stifled....not for any reason...

I bet if you just let her see a little of mfp you'll be wondering why you were ever so anxious about it - hell, she'll probably laugh at you for it (which is also a good thing for spouses to be able to do at/with each other without getting angry or defensive...)

dont be afraid! if you cant tell your wife about it, who can you tell??

caseysray

I think it's respectful and cautious. The best thing to do is figure out what you and your wife are comfortable with. If you are looking for motivation and finding inspiration in the posts - then I think that's great! I often look at the posts for motivation, and rarely comment. You just want to avoid anything that will cause strife between you and your wife.

missigus

I don't know maybe I should start a new thread on this, but it makes me wonder how many married guys- guys in general... out there just comment/ friend request on the hot girl photos and how many comment/friend request on the nondiscript gals or animal representative profile pics like mine. Some of you ladies (usually the attractive gals) have said you have had guy requests for friendship. Interestingly, I have had none...why? Cuz they can't see what I look like perhaps? Not trying to start trouble...I'm just curious.

Back to the marriage question, I've been married 20 years, and I think I would not care if my hubby were friending a variety of people and commenting to different people about their success. I'd have an issue however if I noticed a trend in him just friending hot girls in tiny clothing, and only replying to them...not that I have issues with the "hot ladies" Not what I mean at all...But, just sayin' the hubby would have some explaining to do if those were the only people he sought out as friends.

rockerbabyy

i would say it depends on your and your wifes relationship. i know some married people dont talk to the opposite sex unless for work or whatever, and other couples have a more open marriage. if you know it would make your wife uncomfortable or upset, i think its great that you only reply to males successes here. home life comes first and there are plenty of other people here to congratulate each other too!

mandamama

I think it depends. I would never make a comment I wouldn't feel comfortable hearing come out of my husbands mouth to another woman. Great job, you look great, or holy crap are acceptable to me... sayinf holy **** I'd hit that or something like that.. not cool

mariadavis2012

Being a married man I don't believe your wife would be thrilled that you compliment women on a site that is suppose to be there to encourage you and be a tool for your own success. I would keep it to only communication with guys. If you feel like your being disrespectful changes are your instints have already started kicking in.

capnwo85

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

cln714

I try not to do or say anything that I wouldn't do or say if my husband was standing right next to me. I know him well enough to know what would make him uncomfortable.

lovepink87

There's nothing wrong in congratulating someone in their success. I think as long as you're being respectful and tateful, there are no problems. I'm married myself, and one of my best friends is a guy. I have a lot of guy friends. That's just how i've been my whole life. But i'm honest with my husband and he's ok with my talking to other guys. I work at a gym too where i'm constantly talking to guys and congratulating them on their sucess. So i wouldn't worry about it. Gold star for you though for being concerned!

KCox8604

I don't think there's anything wrong with commenting on the opposite sex. This site...for me...is somewhere I can go where there is tons of people going through the same struggle..Losing weight. I have been married for 7 years myself. As long as your comments are not sexual. It's all about the approach. I have a mix of friends and am strictly commenting on their boards, pics, status, etc. as a tool for support. Nothing more.

sherrirb

and commenting on a member of the opposite sex's success story posts?

I admit, I love checking out the success story posts; they're so inspiring. There are some people who've had some amazing, life-altering changes. I'll always comment on a guy's post because, I'm a guy and we need to encourage one another, but if it's a girl I won't. Being married, I wouldn't want to give my wife any doubts. Am I being overly cautious or respectful?

I think this is admirable and your wife must really appreciate that fact that you respect her enough to guard yourself from other women. Your eyes SHOULD be only for her so I'll give you my opinion on this.
As others have said, ask your wife her opinion on this. Chances are this will be her response: If the poster doesn't have all kinds of near naked photos of herself or anything that could be considered a "sexy" pose, it would be ok to respond with a positive response to their progress.
I have the same healthy respect for my husband. I do not respond to posts of men or women that have provocative photos and rarely accept friend requests from men unless they are married also, and most of those that are married, their wives are on this site as well.

Picola1984

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Hahah! Like

pornstarzombie

I go for the standard: "Congratulations!"

That way, nobody can try to say I was being flirty or whatnot.