To all the "nice guys"

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  • Banks01
    Banks01 Posts: 985 Member
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    I'm a gentleman in the streets and a geek in the sheets



    Wait, I think I said that wrong.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Truth: nice guys can be BLIND.

    That is definitely true and very frustrating. I have been going round and round with a genuinely nice guy for nearly a year. I used to live next door to him. He introduced himself to me last spring, and I discovered that in addition to being very good-looking, he's also very intelligent, successful, and one of the nicest guys I've ever met. And every time we saw each other, we would have these fascinating conversations. I thought we were getting somewhere, and the day I came home from work and found a note on my door with his phone number on it, I was pretty sure he felt the same way. But I don't pursue men. I think pursuing is their job and that if they're really interested, they'll do it. So I only called him if I had a legit reason (and I only found a legit reason once).

    He never picked up on the fact that I liked him and never asked me out, so I assumed he wasn't interested, and I was dating other people. Then I moved a mile or so away about a month ago, and last week, he called me twice and texted me a few times to find out where I was and said he thinks we should "keep in touch." Really? I lived 12 feet away for quite some time, and we never "kept in touch" then. What is that about? I don't always understand "nice guys."
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I have always said that if a person says they want a nice or decent guy/gal then they need to look for one and accept what he or she is.
    If they really just want a "fun" or "exciting" person that is a bit wild then understand that there is a good chance they will turn out to be an irresponsible *kitten*.
  • huracan_mery
    huracan_mery Posts: 47 Member
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    Problem with "Nice Guys" is that they think that being nice to a woman entitles them to getting some. Friendship is failure. If the ultimate goal of relationship is not in the cards then it is not worth it to be decent to a woman. They'd never admit it though, instead they go on the internet and complain about the b***h that friendzoned them. We don't want Nice Guys. We want honest, hardworking, dependable, straightforward, pleasant-to-be-around MEN.

    You can read more about the Nice Guy narrative at the Geek Feminism wiki (I don't know if publishing links is against the rules but you can go there and search for Nice Guy).

    (Edit: grammar)
  • iofreya
    iofreya Posts: 7
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    Im a nice girl and notice that meaner girls get treated better...I'll bake a cake and give a massage and not get a thanks. Another girl will cuss her boyfriend out and get a diamond ring. WTF. <.<

    I like nice guys, but nice guys seem to like mean girls. Bah

    Totally agree with this. Most "nice guys" that I've known are into b*tchy type girls. Sometimes I think men like challenges.
  • tomasart
    tomasart Posts: 306 Member
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    My Problem is Im just plain mean! lol:devil:
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Problem with "Nice Guys" is that they think that being nice to a woman entitles them to getting some.

    Eh, there are different types of "nice guys." Some genuinely are nice and don't want to come off as a jerk who just wants to get in a woman's pants, so they think the best approach is to pull back until they are absolutely certain of a woman's interest.

    Then there is the "nice guy" is putting on an act because he thinks a "nice girl" is easy prey.

    I'm still waiting for the "nice guy" who really is nice and doesn't expect me to hold up a sign that says "I like you. Please ask me out," before he gets off his rear and decides to make a move.
  • Alphawolf02
    Alphawolf02 Posts: 94
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    CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE!!!! That cannot be stressed enough! It is not even about "nice guy" vs. "a**hole". I dated a guy who was super sweet, really nice, and got along well with my family, but he had zero confidence in himself, was needy, and was usually depressed in some way. He had a lot of qualities that I want in a guy (including the fact that he didn't drink alcohol!), but the lack of confidence was just too much to handle. In my opinion, women want a guy that is just as happy at home, alone, watching a movie, as he is hanging out with a group of people. We want someone who is protective, caring and watchful, but knows that we can take care of ourselves and want to care for them as well. The issue with the a**hole types is that they are insecure, and try to put up a macho front that just end up making them look like big jerks. Personally, I want a Moon Pie kind of guy: hard and sturdy on the outside, gooey on the inside, and overall just a sweet heart!
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Broken attracts broken...

    So when the "nice guy" has himself a *****, well they're both screwed up.

    If the a-hole gets the hot girl, they're both screwed up as well. They're feeding into each other's neediness.

    I am a nice girl who can be moody at times, who laughs too loud and is sometimes clumsy. I want a normal guy who's confident yet has a heart of gold (faults and all).
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    nice guy = lacks confidence, pushover, boring, put woman on pedestal
    jerk guy = confidence, intriguing, challenging

    While I find it annoying when a woman complains about her bf her treats her like crap while rejecting the "nice" guys, I totally understand why they chose the way they did.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    I'm still waiting for the "nice guy" who really is nice and doesn't expect me to hold up a sign that says "I like you. Please ask me out," before he gets off his rear and decides to make a move.

    So you want nice and confident? That combination is hard to find.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    The ones complaining about it are the ones who are single. That's why it's all you hear on the subject of being single. Doesn't really mean anything.

    As for taking offence, women and men are equally stupid when it comes to dating. It's a generalization but lots of people do stupid things when it comes to relationships. That's just how it is.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Send some of the nice ones my way! I do not need the drama that comes with a "bad" boy.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I'm still waiting for the "nice guy" who really is nice and doesn't expect me to hold up a sign that says "I like you. Please ask me out," before he gets off his rear and decides to make a move.

    So you want nice and confident? That combination is hard to find.

    Why is nice and confident mutually exclusive?
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    I'm still waiting for the "nice guy" who really is nice and doesn't expect me to hold up a sign that says "I like you. Please ask me out," before he gets off his rear and decides to make a move.

    So you want nice and confident? That combination is hard to find.

    Why is nice and confident mutually exclusive?

    Because 'nice' people tend to think of others first. 'Confident' people tend to think of themselves first. Not to say its an impossible combination, but they are a bit incompatible.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    Nice and confident is far from impossible. IME it comes from people who've not always been how they are current day and so know what its like to be bigger/smaller etc etc and so they learn a degree of self control and know what feeling a certain way was like and can appreciate things a little more.
  • Poetic_
    Poetic_ Posts: 269 Member
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    I'm the worst I guess, nice with low confidence.
  • sawyermark
    sawyermark Posts: 74 Member
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    "Don't set your expectations too high. This might sound mean, but if you're a teddy bear gamer (bigger, hairy guy who's into WOW and D&D) you're not likely to find a hot blonde to date you. Yes, there are hot gamer chicks who dig teddy bears, but those are few and far between. "
    Hey what's wrong with guys that play Wow? My wife is hot btw 8-)
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
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    My husband is an a-hole with everyone else and a nice guy with me! So I get the best of both worlds?? :drinker:
  • elimendoza31
    elimendoza31 Posts: 359 Member
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    I'm a gentleman in the streets and a geek in the sheets



    Wait, I think I said that wrong.
    :laugh: Nice!!!!

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