To all the "nice guys"

Steelheart7

Where are these "nice guys"?

exactly! lol

bigjeffyc105_deleted

yep you were right ,

but I still have nothing to add here,, lol

MrDude_1

As my man Ludicrus would say " we want a lady on the streets and and a freak in the sheets"...

I have nothing to add here,, lol

I believe the quote is "we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed "

personally, I dont want my lady "on the streets"....

JoyousRen

Bottom line, physical attraction is the key to the beginning of most relationships. If a guy is in the friend zone a lot, he has to ask himself why. A lot of times one can fix their physical appearance. It's sad but true.

I agree that physical attraction is important but it doesn't always have to do with looks. I knew a guy that was very mediocre in appearance but could get any girl because he had this ability to make a woman feel like she was the only person in the room. I've also known guys that were hot as hell but couldn't get a real girlfriend because they we *kitten*. For me, I've had guy get WAY hotter when I got to know them or WAY uglier when I got to know them based purely on their personalities.

fiveferrels

nice guys finish last.

MrDude_1

nice guys finish last.

well you can finish first if you can keep it up and going....

bellevie23

I actually had a guy "friend" say to me the other day .. women don't notice nice guys until the @ss holes have screwed them over enough and now we (the nice guys) are stuck with used up, tatooed women with 3 kids and trust issues.

Truth to that statement? Maybe.

I would give anything for a nice guy. I am having a hard time believing they exist at this point in my life.

First, what is wrong with having tattoos?! lol. As for the rest, I am going through a divorce with 3 kids to my name and just found out as of last week my husband is having an affair with another soldier in Afghanistan, so yeah, lacking trust at this point in time..so your friend is spot on some lol..I dont get the tattoos though.

ahsongbird

I hate the term "nice guy" bc most of the self proclaimed "nice guys" I've met are just a bunch of overly sensitive, cry baby mama's boys who are too lazy and unimaginative to try to get the girl he likes to understand that he is interested so instead he just sits at home crying about how girls don't like nice guys. That to me is not the definition of a nice guy.

MrDude_1

I hate the term "nice guy" bc most of the self proclaimed "nice guys" I've met are just a bunch of overly sensitive, cry baby mama's boys who are too lazy and unimaginative to try to get the girl he likes to understand that he is interested so instead he just sits at home crying about how girls don't like nice guys. That to me is not the definition of a nice guy.

would you prefer the term "nice *kitten*"... because I think it applies to me.. not uhh, physically, theres hair there, but from a personality perspective.. im really nice... except that im an *kitten* too.

WifeNMama

" Well, I wouldn't marry anyone who was really wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't." -Anne of Green Gables

I got me one of those. :-D

BondBomb

There is all of this speculation about women wanting or not wanting 'nice guys'. While no one is saying the truth. If a woman isn't interested in you its not usually because you are too nice. Its because she's not physically attracted. Sometimes nice can overrule that. Think about how many times someone has 'grown' attractive to you. Being an a-hole doesn't have the same effect.

And I hate to be brutal but attractive people don't always have the best personalities. Im pretty and Im a *kitten* b1tch. I just happen to be smart and funny so it all balances out.

CakeFit21

"Girls just don't like nice guys. I guess they just like a**holes." I hear this a lot and I'm sure a lot of other women have as well. I take offense to this. It implies women are stupid when it comes to dating. Sure there are some of us who see a guy with a wife beater and a mullet and think, "Mmmm...there's a hottie right there."

I have a nice guy. My husband tries to act like a jerk and I laugh at him because he just can't pull it off. You know what he has that the other "nice guys" I've met lack? Confidence. That's what women like. Confidence. That's one thing that the so-called "a**holes" have. Confidence.

If you're one of those guys who is having a hard time finding a girl, stop looking. Work on yourself (and I don't just mean do what you're already doing by being a member of this site). *Like* yourself. Don't worry so much about your looks. Don't be needy. If a girl doesn't immediately say, "Yes" don't get pushy or mad at her. Maybe she's busy.

Don't set your expectations too high. This might sound mean, but if you're a teddy bear gamer (bigger, hairy guy who's into WOW and D&D) you're not likely to find a hot blonde to date you. Yes, there are hot gamer chicks who dig teddy bears, but those are few and far between.

Most importantly, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a guy who is so wrapped up in not having a girlfriend that he can't have a normal, pleasant conversation at dinner.

So, I didn't go through this whole thread, but let me just say, girl, you've got it all wrong.

My husband is the ultimate nice guy, opens doors, helps women with groceries. I don't mean a PUSH OVER. He is confident. People are drawn to his laugh and charm. Women tell me all the time how sweet/nice/charming/adorable he is. They tell me I am lucky. I AM.

My husband also is a "teddy bear gamer," he was a concept artist on WOW. He's a comic book nerd, played DD and nobody would ever mistake him for a jock or an athlete. So, you tell me; Did he set his sights too high? We've been married for 10 years. I proposed to him.

It is so ridiculous to make such a blanket statement about all people or assume that a "nice guy" can't get a hot chick.

hennyben

I hate the term "nice guy" bc most of the self proclaimed "nice guys" I've met are just a bunch of overly sensitive, cry baby mama's boys who are too lazy and unimaginative to try to get the girl he likes to understand that he is interested so instead he just sits at home crying about how girls don't like nice guys. That to me is not the definition of a nice guy.

would you prefer the term "nice *kitten*"... because I think it applies to me.. not uhh, physically, theres hair there, but from a personality perspective.. im really nice... except that im an *kitten* too.

Ha ha this made me LOL

Coyla

I've posted on other threads that asked the question "what are you looking for in a woman?". But then a few women got offended by the answer when I said I expect them to be taking care of themselves. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially. Measured by weight, integrity, responsibility, credit score, etc.

They told me I was being a jerk. But my reply is inevitably this: I expect this level from myself. Why should I expect any less from a spouse/partner? I want a partner who wants someone like me, someone who is taking care of himself in the ways I've mentioned.

As a woman, I want all those same things. I take care of myself, eat right, have confidence, work two jobs, have a savings, no debt, and a lot of energy. I'm trouble free--except for being something of a perfectionist. My inner crazy comes out here and there, but apparently it's not enough. From the marriages I've seen, dysfunction is actually more attractive than physical appearance. The more crazy, irresponsible, and unhealthy one is, the more desirable they tend to be.

I also know a lot of thin women who do NOT take care of themselves. Smoking two-packs a day and drinking Mountain Dew by the gallon is not what I'd consider a healthy lifestyle. But a lot of men aren't perceptive enough to know the difference between healthy thin and nicotine-inspired, crack-habit thin.

committomittxoxo

nice guys finish last.

well you can finish first if you can keep it up and going....

Holy *kitten*.. Lol.. am I the only one that noticed that?!?!?

Shizzman

nice guys finish last.

well you can finish first if you can keep it up and going....

Holy *kitten*.. Lol.. am I the only one that noticed that?!?!?

Oh, that can be a skill....either way... ;P

MrDude_1

nice guys finish last.

well you can finish first if you can keep it up and going....

Holy *kitten*.. Lol.. am I the only one that noticed that?!?!?

no. for some reason I know exactly what he said.

chrishgt4

"Nice" is just about the worst thing to be - it's so wishy washy and basically equates to spineless.

If you're nice you'll just go along with what she wants because it's nice to let other people get their own way.

But if you don't insist on your own way some of the time you're basically saying you are worth less than them, and why would anyone love someone who doesn't love themselves. By being like that you are basically advertising yourself as being of less worth.

Nice guys are too scared of rejection or failure to take a chance - they won't ask a girl out in case they get shot down, they won't make a joke in case people don't laugh, they miss opportunities and have mediocre lives.

The guys who have something about them fail and get back up - they have the confidence to tell a girl when she's being a ****, because they believe that they are cool enough that the girl won't take that as her cue to dump them. A 'Nice' guy doesn't want to rock the boat so takes what is given.

Nice sucks.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/505123-a-question-for-the-men

IMO psycho babble and BS.
Taking attributes that have nothing to do with whether a guy has a decent character and labeling that as the definition of "nice" is just stupid.
Nice is how decent a person is not how weak they are,let words mean what they are supposed to without redefining it for some reason.

Psychobabble? I doubt you'd find that in any psychology books - no, that is all personal experience my friend.

I always was the 'nice' guy, and people liked me, and I got on with everyone, and I never got what I wanted.

'Nice' is a word to use when a proper descriptive word isn't available.

katherinemm31

** also, a lot of the time, when girls go for the a-holes, it's because they've been made to feel as though they don't deserve anything better. Or that they won't be able to do any better.

Trust me, I know!!

My hubby is a 'nice guy' who had to wait until i realised that i deserved better than the not-nice-guy i was with when we met.

It took a while, but my nice guy made me realise that i did deserve better than what i had.


Nice Guys Are Awesome! Just gotta be patient sometimes!

Women who have been abused also tend to go for a-holes.
My hubby makes me feel beautiful no matter what. He's a nice guy, but not an insecure person. He's more stable than any guy I ever dated before. Besides that, he is sexy and can change sexual roles rather proficiently. :happy: I am very lucky.

katherinemm31

** also, a lot of the time, when girls go for the a-holes, it's because they've been made to feel as though they don't deserve anything better. Or that they won't be able to do any better.

Trust me, I know!!

My hubby is a 'nice guy' who had to wait until i realised that i deserved better than the not-nice-guy i was with when we met.

It took a while, but my nice guy made me realise that i did deserve better than what i had.


Nice Guys Are Awesome! Just gotta be patient sometimes!

Women who have been abused also tend to go for a-holes.
My hubby makes me feel beautiful no matter what. He's a nice guy, but not an insecure person. He's more stable than any guy I ever dated before. Besides that, he is sexy and can change sexual roles rather proficiently. :happy: I am very lucky.

Oh yea, and don't forget the guys who pretend they are nice but are a-holes. The manipulative types are the worst. Once they've got you, they've got you.

ItsCasey

I've posted on other threads that asked the question "what are you looking for in a woman?". But then a few women got offended by the answer when I said I expect them to be taking care of themselves. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially. Measured by weight, integrity, responsibility, credit score, etc.

They told me I was being a jerk. But my reply is inevitably this: I expect this level from myself. Why should I expect any less from a spouse/partner? I want a partner who wants someone like me, someone who is taking care of himself in the ways I've mentioned.

I agree with you completely. This is a website where people are allegedly dedicated to changing their lives by improving their health and physical appearance, yet it is full of women who go ballistic if a man has the nerve to admit he'd prefer a woman who cares about her appearance and makes an effort to maintain it.

The other stuff about taking care of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and financially is true, as well. To me, it all comes back to discipline and self-respect. If you're a person who works hard at all of these things, it's unlikely you're going to be able to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't. And it's about differences in basic values, not so much "Oh, you gained 10 pounds, and now you're disgusting to me."

oldbaptistadam

The worst thing about being a "nice guy" is that they often get stuck in the friend zone. The woman wants them to be around for when she needs them, but is going to be attracted to the other sort. Seems to be the pattern that I've seen.

MrDude_1

The worst thing about being a "nice guy" is that they often get stuck in the friend zone. The woman wants them to be around for when she needs them, but is going to be attracted to the other sort. Seems to be the pattern that I've seen.

because they're too nice to go for it when the moment comes. its their fault.

ItsCasey

The worst thing about being a "nice guy" is that they often get stuck in the friend zone. The woman wants them to be around for when she needs them, but is going to be attracted to the other sort. Seems to be the pattern that I've seen.

because they're too nice to go for it when the moment comes. its their fault.

This is true. If you want to be more than just a friend, you have to tell her that, and you have to be willing to walk away if she doesn't want the same thing.

christine24t

http://www.datingdoctor.com/niceguysfail.html

This explains it all.

hadesflame

I was always too busy worrying about what everyone else was saying or MIGHT be saying about me instead of noticing people who were noticing me. In high school, I wasn't super skinny but I wasn't fat either. I was a size 10 and because of things my gym teacher said, I was made to feel like I was really overweight and not worthy of anyone's attention.
I care what I think of me and how I want to make myself happy. But I also want to reach the point where I can look at the people who still make fun of me and stand in front of them and say "I can lose weight, I can change my clothes, I can cut my hair, but you can't fix 'b**ch'."

hadesflame

You want to know something funny about this topic for me personally?

I've posted on other threads that asked the question "what are you looking for in a woman?". But then a few women got offended by the answer when I said I expect them to be taking care of themselves. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially. Measured by weight, integrity, responsibility, credit score, etc.

They told me I was being a jerk. But my reply is inevitably this: I expect this level from myself. Why should I expect any less from a spouse/partner? I want a partner who wants someone like me, someone who is taking care of himself in the ways I've mentioned.

And if that's why I haven't remarried, so be it. I'm happy being myself, and enjoying who I am as a person.

If someone took offense, then they're idiots and they're not right for you. I completely agree with your comment. I'm not your mother. I shouldn't have to take care of you and walk you thru everything you do.
I have always said that I needed someone that is nice to look at in addition to other things. If you can't stand to look at the person sitting across from you, how can you talk to them, share meals with them, share a bed with them. And I said I would never back down on what I wanted because then I would just be settling and nobody should have to do that. Looks will open the door. The right personality will get you the key.