A question for the men

13

Replies

  • Tubby2Toned
    Tubby2Toned Posts: 130 Member
    Bottom line for men: Ambiguity sucks.

    So, if a women is very forward, it's nice. We like to know where we stand.
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
    Nothing worse than a woman acting all sedate and shy and "proper". Then you find out later it was all an act. I say despite what gender you are, as long as you are respectful, go for what you want in life!
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    How direct should you be?
    Speaking for all men, WE CANNOT READ MINDS.

    If you want something ASK FOR IT.

    Body language doesn't count. You have to use your voice.
  • 007bondage
    007bondage Posts: 631 Member
    Great question!

    I, personally, like it when a women is straight up and "takes the lead". I find it flattering and is actually a relief from the traditional roles.
  • YassSpartan
    YassSpartan Posts: 1,195 Member
    I'm totally ok with it, :wink: in fact, here's my number, call me!

    1-800-LOOKING-FOR-STRAIGHT-FORWARD-WOMEN :bigsmile:
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    Bottom line for men: Ambiguity sucks.



    And for women - it was being on the receiving end of several ambiguous gestures and comments that drove me to asking him out in the first place. My frustration overtook my fear! And he was really keen and so far it seems like he just needed the encouragement.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    How direct should you be?
    Speaking for all men, WE CANNOT READ MINDS.

    If you want something ASK FOR IT.

    Body language doesn't count. You have to use your voice.

    lol
    Nice, I love that!
  • OK, you asked for a man's POV so here's my .02 FWIW:

    I've been single for close to 2.5 years... I had a girlfriend (much younger) for about 9 months but it didn't work out. At this point in my life, why even bother to ask a woman out at all? Seriously, the ladies close to my age, THAT ARE PHYSICALLY FIT AND TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, are NOT looking for a nice guy... they're looking for Mr. Man with house, cars, boat, motorcycle, vacation home, blah blah blah... (the movie "Bad Teacher" comes to mind). LOL!

    Why do I bring all that up?? Because, from THIS man's POV it's like women are trying on men like a pair of shoes... too finicky and just throw them back on the shelf if they don't like 1 little thing. So why in the world would ANY self-respecting man put himself out there, ask a woman out, only to have her disect everything about him (job, family, social status, money, car, etc)?? If ANY woman were to talk to me they would find out I'm a really nice person, quiet, shy, but just an all-around good guy. BUT, if *I* step up and talk to a woman, you would think it's the end of the world! Do women REALLY think we want the "go to hell" look??

    So, if you LIKE this guy just make it known to him. If you're going to have to keep lifting him up daily, you may get really worn out though. The relationship dynamics are being set right now... could be that he just needs a little initial encouragement and eventually he'll be his normal self? You obviously like this guy so it must be worth waiting for him??

    I actually dont care whether he has a car or not as long as he's willing to commit and show his emotional side and not keep everything inside. Every man I date is a mystery....I feel like I'm trying to crack a freaking coconut to get anything out.....almost better just being single ;-)
  • MissVCI
    MissVCI Posts: 277 Member
    after reading these responses i understand even more why am single and now am convinced i will never find another man.

    I'm too nervous to make the first move and it looks like you guys are too scared and like a forward woman.

    I should just start buying cats now.
  • mrlazy1967
    mrlazy1967 Posts: 285 Member
    Maybe go for a date to the movies, snuggle up to him in the dark and see if he pulls away or cuddles up to you.
  • redsteve65
    redsteve65 Posts: 142 Member
    My wife asked me out and 23 years later we are still very happy. It wasn't that I was shy and was going to ask her out but she just got there first.

    He may be shy so ask him out. But if his shyness becomes overwhelming even after you have been on a few dates and you find it impossible to deal with them you may need to reconsider.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member

    in response: I'm one of these girls that look for the man who has the house, job, car, "stuff", etc. why?

    because i'm superficial? not anymore than most... because i'm materialistic? not at all. because i'm spoiled and lazy? well... i am spoiled. but lazy? just the opposite. in fact, that's my justification.

    i don't want anyone who might wind up expecting me to support him. I have no patience for ignorance, laziness, or complacency. At a glance, a person's social stature and financial profile is the best indicator of who they are and who they plan to be in life. Of course that all could change, but I don't plan to take the chance.

    ETA: i say all this freely because I come with my OWN attractive résumé, and as a result tend to attract the slackers.

    Good luck with that, choc & vodka. Just as you want a man with all this "stuff" that doesn't amount to anything but just that... "stuff"... He too has the same expectatios of YOU. Gain a few pounds, maybe put on pregnancy weight, maybe lose your good job... you WILL be replaced by an updated, younger model with all the bells and whistles.

    Reminds me of the girl that asked Tim Tebow to be her date to some military ball. Really??? If Mr. Tebow was just a "regular" guy like 99.99999% of us, she wouldn't even bother?? Who wants a girl like that?! But you did make a good point... you really shouldn't be supporting anyone! If the guy doesn't have a job and needs you to pay his rent and put gas in his car, well... that's a whole OTHER story!

    [edit]
    And re: being spoiled: you're going to miss out on park picnics with sandwiches, chips and drinks for $100/plate dinners at a fancy restaurants? I would also hate to be your S.O., you must be impossible to buy a gift for. You seem like the kind that looks at the value BEFORE the sentiment behind the giving.

    wow. the assumptions about me are startlingly incorrect. did you read the end?

    the best date i ever went on involved roadside fireworks and a hike by the lake.

    i just want someone who is self sufficient and ambitious. i won't babysit anyone, and i can't stand narrow minded folks.

    as for buying me a gift? mehh. buy me a stuffed animal and i'm happy :)

  • in response: I'm one of these girls that look for the man who has the house, job, car, "stuff", etc. why?

    because i'm superficial? not anymore than most... because i'm materialistic? not at all. because i'm spoiled and lazy? well... i am spoiled. but lazy? just the opposite. in fact, that's my justification.

    i don't want anyone who might wind up expecting me to support him. I have no patience for ignorance, laziness, or complacency. At a glance, a person's social stature and financial profile is the best indicator of who they are and who they plan to be in life. Of course that all could change, but I don't plan to take the chance.

    ETA: i say all this freely because I come with my OWN attractive résumé, and as a result tend to attract the slackers.

    Good luck with that, choc & vodka. Just as you want a man with all this "stuff" that doesn't amount to anything but just that... "stuff"... He too has the same expectatios of YOU. Gain a few pounds, maybe put on pregnancy weight, maybe lose your good job... you WILL be replaced by an updated, younger model with all the bells and whistles.

    Reminds me of the girl that asked Tim Tebow to be her date to some military ball. Really??? If Mr. Tebow was just a "regular" guy like 99.99999% of us, she wouldn't even bother?? Who wants a girl like that?! But you did make a good point... you really shouldn't be supporting anyone! If the guy doesn't have a job and needs you to pay his rent and put gas in his car, well... that's a whole OTHER story!

    [edit]
    And re: being spoiled: you're going to miss out on park picnics with sandwiches, chips and drinks for $100/plate dinners at a fancy restaurants? I would also hate to be your S.O., you must be impossible to buy a gift for. You seem like the kind that looks at the value BEFORE the sentiment behind the giving.

    wow. the assumptions about me are startlingly incorrect. did you read the end?

    the best date i ever went on involved roadside fireworks and a hike by the lake.

    i just want someone who is self sufficient and ambitious. i won't babysit anyone, and i can't stand narrow minded folks.

    as for buying me a gift? mehh. buy me a stuffed animal and i'm happy :)
    With all due respect, your 1st sentence specifically states that you're one of those girls that looks for a man with the house, car, job, and "stuff." Your 2nd paragraph goes on to justify your 1st sentence. Maybe our definitions are getting mixed up? By house, I mean a place he calls "home" (apartment, condo, house). For "car," just basic/reliable transportation. And a job is just that, a way to make a living. A job should NOT define the person you are. As far as "stuff" .... well.. that can be boat, motorcycle, jet skis, and on and on...

    Chris said it best though and I can't add anything to his comments. Bottom line is, I only pay $20 for my jeans, my watch probably cost $30 (my dad gave it to me), I drive a Ford pickup truck, and I couldn't tell you want brand is "in style" right now. So you, with your "attractive resume" probably wouldn't be caught dead riding in a pickup truck with a guy that dresses like me! Albeit I'm clean, friendly, courteous, etc...

    Men, here's the BEST way to get (almost) any woman you want: win the lottery and publicize your earnings on TV and newspaper(s). You WILL have a date every night of the week! Most likely from ladies with very attractive resumes that are looking for quality guys such as you. :wink:
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    I LOVE this response. You put it so well and ,if it's not too forward, you are very nice to look at ;)
    Haha, no not too forward at all - no problem with getting a compliment! ;)
    And the same to you as it goes! ;)
  • I work in Law Enforcement and see bad relationships far too often, so with that said...

    If you like the guy, make you're move. Life has way too much to offer to allow yourself to sit around and wait. But at the same time, if you find something about him that you don't like, think about what you do like. Weigh out the good vs. the bad, tell him. As much as we (men) would like to be able to read your mind, we can't, so you have to speak up. Far too often I see relationships that one half thought everything was great, but the other had been unhappy for a long time. It's purely communication! We all have got to do it (myself included). If you find that one thing that you can't get past, and he's not willing to attempt to fix it, then move on. You'll be happier in the long run.

    I'm sure that a lot of this doesn't really apply, and I'm sorry I got on my "soap box". A short and sweet answer probably would have been better, but hopefully this will help you (and anyone else who reads it) later in life.

    Therefore, the short answer is: "Go for it. Be the aggressor if it's what you want."
  • I know you want responses from the guys but let me throw in my 2 cents please!

    Different guys like different things so the guy you like may not reflect the opinions you are getting here. My advice?: ask him direct yet not forceful questions to find out if he likes you and wants to be with you e.g. ask things that show if you have common ground, values, sleeping patterns?!, habits. I had a friend who had to end a relationship because she discovered her man was a night owl and slept all day and she was a day person! Extreme right?

    If he likes to take things slow, then go slow. As he gets more comfortable with you he will open up. It may take 6 months to arrive at your first kiss but if that means there is more trust and honesty then it is well worth it!

    Heather,
    **edited by MFP moderator** - please, no links to promotional websites
    Recently married and loving it!
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    For men (ie adults!) how forward do you like a woman to be??

    I am asking because the man I have just started seeing is incredibly shy and reticent, so much so that I had to ask him out after weeks of trying to decipher ambiguous comments and actions. Since then, (a week ago) we have been out three times, but I know (by his own admission) that he would need a lot of dutch courage to move things forward.

    I am not one who likes to chase males, and have never ever asked a man out in my LIFE until now. So my question is where is the fine line between encouraging a man and being too intrusive??

    If you can't figure him out by now, I'd say it doesn't look good long term.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    I have been known to completely miss subtle "hints" in the past that a girl was interested in me, so I have no issues with a girl being forward and letting me know she is interested. Now once that part is established, there should be no need to "chase" or figure anything out, if he's not willing to act at that point he's either not into you, or totally inept at being social.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    It totally depends on what kind of man you want. Obviously I don't know this guy, and I could be reading you wrong, but he sounds like a wuss to me. I can understand being nervous about asking a woman out on a date because of the risk of rejection, but if you've been out multiple times, and he's still acting like a church mouse, to me, that indicates a severe lack of manhood.

    If I'm interested in a man, I'll do as much as I can to show him that without coming off like a desperado. But if he's interested in me, I expect him to take it from there. If he doesn't, I assume he isn't interested, and I move on. The only time I will ever ask a man on a date is if we're already in a relationship and I want to surprise him with an evening planned just for him.

    Also, if you really like this guy and want to have a relationship with him, you need to cut out two things: "hanging out" and texting. "Hanging out" and "dating" are not at all the same thing, and that needs to be established from day one. Furthermore, if a guy doesn't like you enough to pick up the phone and talk to you like a human being, then you need to ditch his lazy behind.
    Woah. I couldn't disagree more with this. (1) Some men are shy and need you to get the ball rolling. In my experience, these men are not necessarily wusses, and often, aren't shy at all once things start, but it takes you being pretty forward with them to get over the initial shyness.

    Like I said, it's about what kind of man you want. If you're okay with the fact that you have to ask a guy out because he's not interested enough or not man enough to do it himself, that's great for you. But this woman is expressing concern about the fact that she's the one who has to initiate everything, so clearly that's not what she wants. She already asked him out, and they've been on two dates. That she's still having to do all the work is not about him being shy; it's about him being a pansy.
    (2) How in the world is "hanging out" different from "dating" if you're in a long term relationship? I can see maybe for the first few dates, MAYBE, but after that, I never expected to go out on "dates" all the time if I was in a relationship, it just doesn't make sense.

    They're not in a long-term relationship. At this point, he should be dating her, not "hanging out" with her. The fact that he's not making any effort at all either means he doesn't like her or that he's missing a set of testicles.
    Dinner and a movie a couple of times a week would get expensive, fattening, and old. "Hanging out" and just enjoying each others company, making dinner at home, or whatever seems much more realistic to me.

    Who said anything about dinner and a movie? A date can be a walk through the park. Men get away with this "hanging out" crap only because most women are too stupid to realize that they are not actually dating. A man who is really into you wants you to know that you are dating him, not just his "friend" with whom he "hangs out."
    (3) Not everyone likes to talk on the phone. The world has changed, I don't consider someone lazy for not calling, I actually appreciate texts vs. calling.

    If you're married or in a long-term relationship and you don't mind having entire conversations via text message, that's fine. A guy you've just started seeing? He shouldn't be treating you like a friend or a co-worker, to whom he shoots a quick message to avoid having to make a phone call. This is no different than a man saying he can't see you during the week because he has to work so much. It's funny how free time magically appears when a man is truly interested in seeing a woman. The same goes for phone calls vs. text messages.
  • MissVCI
    MissVCI Posts: 277 Member

    in response: I'm one of these girls that look for the man who has the house, job, car, "stuff", etc. why?

    because i'm superficial? not anymore than most... because i'm materialistic? not at all. because i'm spoiled and lazy? well... i am spoiled. but lazy? just the opposite. in fact, that's my justification.

    i don't want anyone who might wind up expecting me to support him. I have no patience for ignorance, laziness, or complacency. At a glance, a person's social stature and financial profile is the best indicator of who they are and who they plan to be in life. Of course that all could change, but I don't plan to take the chance.

    ETA: i say all this freely because I come with my OWN attractive résumé, and as a result tend to attract the slackers.

    Good luck with that, choc & vodka. Just as you want a man with all this "stuff" that doesn't amount to anything but just that... "stuff"... He too has the same expectatios of YOU. Gain a few pounds, maybe put on pregnancy weight, maybe lose your good job... you WILL be replaced by an updated, younger model with all the bells and whistles.

    Reminds me of the girl that asked Tim Tebow to be her date to some military ball. Really??? If Mr. Tebow was just a "regular" guy like 99.99999% of us, she wouldn't even bother?? Who wants a girl like that?! But you did make a good point... you really shouldn't be supporting anyone! If the guy doesn't have a job and needs you to pay his rent and put gas in his car, well... that's a whole OTHER story!

    [edit]
    And re: being spoiled: you're going to miss out on park picnics with sandwiches, chips and drinks for $100/plate dinners at a fancy restaurants? I would also hate to be your S.O., you must be impossible to buy a gift for. You seem like the kind that looks at the value BEFORE the sentiment behind the giving.

    wow. the assumptions about me are startlingly incorrect. did you read the end?

    the best date i ever went on involved roadside fireworks and a hike by the lake.

    i just want someone who is self sufficient and ambitious. i won't babysit anyone, and i can't stand narrow minded folks.

    as for buying me a gift? mehh. buy me a stuffed animal and i'm happy :)
    With all due respect, your 1st sentence specifically states that you're one of those girls that looks for a man with the house, car, job, and "stuff." Your 2nd paragraph goes on to justify your 1st sentence. Maybe our definitions are getting mixed up? By house, I mean a place he calls "home" (apartment, condo, house). For "car," just basic/reliable transportation. And a job is just that, a way to make a living. A job should NOT define the person you are. As far as "stuff" .... well.. that can be boat, motorcycle, jet skis, and on and on...

    Chris said it best though and I can't add anything to his comments. Bottom line is, I only pay $20 for my jeans, my watch probably cost $30 (my dad gave it to me), I drive a Ford pickup truck, and I couldn't tell you want brand is "in style" right now. So you, with your "attractive resume" probably wouldn't be caught dead riding in a pickup truck with a guy that dresses like me! Albeit I'm clean, friendly, courteous, etc...

    Men, here's the BEST way to get (almost) any woman you want: win the lottery and publicize your earnings on TV and newspaper(s). You WILL have a date every night of the week! Most likely from ladies with very attractive resumes that are looking for quality guys such as you. :wink:

    I feel sorry for for your very low opinion of what women want and I'm sorry if some chick made you feel that way.

    Not all women are materialistic gold diggers (neither is chocandvodka)

    Women, well let me say most women so i'm not generalizing, simply want a man who can provide, that doesn't mean provide her with lavish gift, it doesn't mean he needs to drive a luxury car. We want a man who will be there to support us emotionally and yes financially, and that again does not mean any lavish way. It means once we get married are you going to be able to help pay the mortgage and bills with whatever income you are earning.

    So whatever woman caused you to feel this way, I again apologize on behalf of women, but you won't be getting another one anytime soon not because you drive a Ford but because of that negative attitude you have, so buck up!
  • RyanPerry2012
    RyanPerry2012 Posts: 47 Member
    IMO, nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and goes straight for it.
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 664 Member
    Being forward is a good thing but you have to be able to read what hes thinking at times too...

    That theme hes not all that into you (or some crap comes to mind) hope thats not the case

    But what I mean by know what hes thinking at some point have a good talk and find somethings out about where he is in his life.

    He might nto be ready or might not be looking or he might just be shy or unsure of what your thinking ( or think about him)

    He might really like you but doesnt feel hes in the right point of his life to start a relationship
    (I'm in this stage of life just rebooting from the ground up career change and back to school)

    He might really like you and just be shy about it but after 3 or 4 meetings of the minds he should give you some hints..
    Hold your hand
    A flirt here and there
    Or maybe a few seconds of eye contact that you know lasted a bit longer than normal
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,338 Member
    But this woman is expressing concern about the fact that she's the one who has to initiate everything, so clearly that's not what she wants. She already asked him out, and they've been on two dates. That she's still having to do all the work is not about him being shy; it's about him being a pansy.

    The fact that he's not making any effort at all either means he doesn't like her or that he's missing a set of testicles.

    Ok just to clarify if it was unclear in my original post. I asked him out on the first date, he has asked since. He makes a lot of effort, contacts me most days even if it's just to see how my day is going. He hasn't dated since his marriage split just over a year ago so I am mindful of that. And after we went out last night he has said he really likes me and wants to see me more often. So I think it's going along ok.

    Thanks for all the great perspectives so far!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    For men (ie adults!) how forward do you like a woman to be??

    Forward enough to park herself in my vicinity and send me signals that she is interested but can then step back and let me make the play.

    It's like a Tango. It is pleasurable, sensual and beautiful but not if both dancers try to lead...
  • stetienne
    stetienne Posts: 560 Member
    But this woman is expressing concern about the fact that she's the one who has to initiate everything, so clearly that's not what she wants. She already asked him out, and they've been on two dates. That she's still having to do all the work is not about him being shy; it's about him being a pansy.

    The fact that he's not making any effort at all either means he doesn't like her or that he's missing a set of testicles.

    Ok just to clarify if it was unclear in my original post. I asked him out on the first date, he has asked since. He makes a lot of effort, contacts me most days even if it's just to see how my day is going. He hasn't dated since his marriage split just over a year ago so I am mindful of that. And after we went out last night he has said he really likes me and wants to see me more often. So I think it's going along ok.

    Thanks for all the great perspectives so far!

    I'm sure he's probably out of practice--I've been married 23 years and couldn't begin to know how to date anymore. It's nice that you're helping him along.

    And as a clueless guy, I would welcome forwardness.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member

    in response: I'm one of these girls that look for the man who has the house, job, car, "stuff", etc. why?

    because i'm superficial? not anymore than most... because i'm materialistic? not at all. because i'm spoiled and lazy? well... i am spoiled. but lazy? just the opposite. in fact, that's my justification.

    i don't want anyone who might wind up expecting me to support him. I have no patience for ignorance, laziness, or complacency. At a glance, a person's social stature and financial profile is the best indicator of who they are and who they plan to be in life. Of course that all could change, but I don't plan to take the chance.

    ETA: i say all this freely because I come with my OWN attractive résumé, and as a result tend to attract the slackers.

    Good luck with that, choc & vodka. Just as you want a man with all this "stuff" that doesn't amount to anything but just that... "stuff"... He too has the same expectatios of YOU. Gain a few pounds, maybe put on pregnancy weight, maybe lose your good job... you WILL be replaced by an updated, younger model with all the bells and whistles.

    Reminds me of the girl that asked Tim Tebow to be her date to some military ball. Really??? If Mr. Tebow was just a "regular" guy like 99.99999% of us, she wouldn't even bother?? Who wants a girl like that?! But you did make a good point... you really shouldn't be supporting anyone! If the guy doesn't have a job and needs you to pay his rent and put gas in his car, well... that's a whole OTHER story!

    [edit]
    And re: being spoiled: you're going to miss out on park picnics with sandwiches, chips and drinks for $100/plate dinners at a fancy restaurants? I would also hate to be your S.O., you must be impossible to buy a gift for. You seem like the kind that looks at the value BEFORE the sentiment behind the giving.

    wow. the assumptions about me are startlingly incorrect. did you read the end?

    the best date i ever went on involved roadside fireworks and a hike by the lake.

    i just want someone who is self sufficient and ambitious. i won't babysit anyone, and i can't stand narrow minded folks.

    as for buying me a gift? mehh. buy me a stuffed animal and i'm happy :)
    With all due respect, your 1st sentence specifically states that you're one of those girls that looks for a man with the house, car, job, and "stuff." Your 2nd paragraph goes on to justify your 1st sentence. Maybe our definitions are getting mixed up? By house, I mean a place he calls "home" (apartment, condo, house). For "car," just basic/reliable transportation. And a job is just that, a way to make a living. A job should NOT define the person you are. As far as "stuff" .... well.. that can be boat, motorcycle, jet skis, and on and on...

    Chris said it best though and I can't add anything to his comments. Bottom line is, I only pay $20 for my jeans, my watch probably cost $30 (my dad gave it to me), I drive a Ford pickup truck, and I couldn't tell you want brand is "in style" right now. So you, with your "attractive resume" probably wouldn't be caught dead riding in a pickup truck with a guy that dresses like me! Albeit I'm clean, friendly, courteous, etc...

    Men, here's the BEST way to get (almost) any woman you want: win the lottery and publicize your earnings on TV and newspaper(s). You WILL have a date every night of the week! Most likely from ladies with very attractive resumes that are looking for quality guys such as you. :wink:

    I feel sorry for for your very low opinion of what women want and I'm sorry if some chick made you feel that way.

    Not all women are materialistic gold diggers (neither is chocandvodka)

    Women, well let me say most women so i'm not generalizing, simply want a man who can provide, that doesn't mean provide her with lavish gift, it doesn't mean he needs to drive a luxury car. We want a man who will be there to support us emotionally and yes financially, and that again does not mean any lavish way. It means once we get married are you going to be able to help pay the mortgage and bills with whatever income you are earning.

    So whatever woman caused you to feel this way, I again apologize on behalf of women, but you won't be getting another one anytime soon not because you drive a Ford but because of that negative attitude you have, so buck up!

    100% agree on the last poster's comment. It's not about what type of stuff you have but how you live your life. Are you productive, positive, motivated, curious and friendly? Your response has bad self esteem written all over it because you aren't happy with your material items you own. If you fix that you will have a list of girls to choose from and will enjoy life more as well! Being on this website is a good start! :smile: (I too have to still work on my self-esteem!... not perfect by any means lol)
  • Skinny_Jeans_Soon
    Skinny_Jeans_Soon Posts: 326 Member
    With all due respect, your 1st sentence specifically states that you're one of those girls that looks for a man with the house, car, job, and "stuff." Your 2nd paragraph goes on to justify your 1st sentence. Maybe our definitions are getting mixed up? By house, I mean a place he calls "home" (apartment, condo, house). For "car," just basic/reliable transportation. And a job is just that, a way to make a living. A job should NOT define the person you are. As far as "stuff" .... well.. that can be boat, motorcycle, jet skis, and on and on...

    Chris said it best though and I can't add anything to his comments. Bottom line is, I only pay $20 for my jeans, my watch probably cost $30 (my dad gave it to me), I drive a Ford pickup truck, and I couldn't tell you want brand is "in style" right now. So you, with your "attractive resume" probably wouldn't be caught dead riding in a pickup truck with a guy that dresses like me! Albeit I'm clean, friendly, courteous, etc...

    Men, here's the BEST way to get (almost) any woman you want: win the lottery and publicize your earnings on TV and newspaper(s). You WILL have a date every night of the week! Most likely from ladies with very attractive resumes that are looking for quality guys such as you. :wink:

    I see both sides of this argument. I personally wanted someone stable, responsible, sweet and driven! I could care less if they had "in style" jeans or drove an expensive car. I agree more with you on this one but I am a small town girl and if I wasn't married I would happily ride around in your Ford, maybe throw a 4 wheeler in the back, find some trails and pack a lunch (I make a killer PB&J). :happy: Ahh, my husband is such a lucky man..heehee!
  • Skinny_Jeans_Soon
    Skinny_Jeans_Soon Posts: 326 Member
    Deleted Duplicate Post
  • Ya'll... come on! :grumble:

    Does anyone remember those dozen (or so) factory workers that won a HUGE lottery?? Know how many INSTANT marriage proposals those guys had the week following their publicity shoots?? :laugh: Go Google it... don't just take MY word for it. :wink: They were all just regular guys, had good jobs, nothing special about them.

    Ladies, how many of you would crap a brick if Brad Pitt, George Clooney (or some other male celebrity) stopped to talk to you? Would you crap the same brick if some really nice/handsome guy is asking you for directions??

    2 people made a comment about my attitude without even knowing me. There's no amount of words I can use to describe who I am and how I behave. If there's a hint of an attitude, it probably stems from the area close to where I live (The Woodlands). Big, expensive houses all around.... it's common to see a Ferrari or Lamborghini on a nice day, blah blah blah. So essentitally, who in the world wants a "nice guy" when there's all this money around my area??

    To get back to the OP question, BEING STRAIGHT-FORWARD and making conversation with a man you like goes a LONG way (at least with me it does). What most women fail to realize is that some men get a little nervous talking to a beautiful woman. And in all fairness, beautiful women get hit-on all day long. By the time a nice guy gets to them, they've reached their limit and just shoot him down before she even realizes that he volunteers in kid's church, goes to church every Sunday, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke or use drugs, doesn't use foul language, pays his child support 100% on time, sees his kids every chance he can, helps others, etc. Nah, one look at his inexpensive watch, t-shirt, jeans and sandals and women decide the man isn't suited for her.

    Women, like a man? Go talk to him. If he reciprocates, GOOD! If not, so what? And if you see ME around, talk to ME! You'd be surprised how friendly I am. :laugh:
  • I've been forward in the past and for me it hasnt been so good. When it doesnt workout I feel like men think that I'm easy just because I'm the one that said something first. Well I'm mexican and I think most mexican men think like that. If a woman is forward than she's easy. They think I want to be their "friends with benefits" and thats it like its going to be Wam, bam, thank you maam. lol But when they realize I'm not in to get some they stop texting or calling me.

    So now if I see an attractive guy I say nothing. :indifferent: