A question for the men

flab2sixpack

I've been forward in the past and for me it hasnt been so good. When it doesnt workout I feel like men think that I'm easy just because I'm the one that said something first. Well I'm mexican and I think most mexican men think like that. If a woman is forward than she's easy. They think I want to be their "friends with benefits" and thats it like its going to be Wam, bam, thank you maam. lol But when they realize I'm not in to get some they stop texting or calling me.

So now if I see an attractive guy I say nothing. :indifferent:

A couple of weeks ago, I took my kids to Chick-Fil-A so they could eat and play for a little bit before they had to go back to their mom's house. I was sitting next to the play area and this attractive lady asked if she could sit at my table (so she could keep her eyes on the kids too). That's all it took though... nothing major or earth-shaking. She could have sat at another table but she chose to sit at MY table. We struck up a little conversation and she's a really nice lady. By no means did I think she was "easy." :noway:

A lot of the attitude you described seems to come from the maturity level of the man/men you're talking to (I say this with reservation because I don't know all the details). Any man that expects to get in your pants just because you talked to him really isn't worth your time, IMHO.

HeidiRene

I am sexually aggressive and if a man can't handle it then he can't handle me.

LolaGotThin

I feel like if you have to ask, and if things aren't just happening naturally, it's not meant to be.
I've never been afraid to be the pursuer but I also liked to be pursued. And in all that, there had to be some sort of chemistry which usually propelled it forward naturally.
This is my opinion, obviously. But my husband and I were that way. I was actually dating someone else when we met but we had so much more in common and I didn't feel like I was doing all the pursuing, which was the case with the other guy (we weren't dating seriously, just a few dates). The other guy told me he really liked me and started talking about meeting my parents (at which time I proceeded to pound my martinis, my first red flag) and so I KNEW that, you know, the feeling was mutual, but I really just felt that with my husband, we just clicked. Right away. And things flowed so naturally! We both went into things casually; we weren't going to get into relationships. But we would end up spending most of the night talking about everything.
And tada!
Enough rambling, tl;dr: If you have to ask, probably not worth it, my opinion.

HeidiRene

Ya'll... come on! :grumble:

Does anyone remember those dozen (or so) factory workers that won a HUGE lottery?? Know how many INSTANT marriage proposals those guys had the week following their publicity shoots?? :laugh: Go Google it... don't just take MY word for it. They were all just regular guys, had good jobs, nothing special about them.

Ladies, how many of you would crap a brick if Brad Pitt, George Clooney (or some other male celebrity) stopped to talk to you? Would you crap the same brick if some really nice/handsome guy is asking you for directions??

2 people made a comment about my attitude without even knowing me. There's no amount of words I can use to describe who I am and how I behave. If there's a hint of an attitude, it probably stems from the area close to where I live (The Woodlands). Big, expensive houses all around.... it's common to see a Ferrari or Lamborghini on a nice day, blah blah blah. So essentitally, who in the world wants a "nice guy" when there's all this money around my area??

To get back to the OP question, BEING STRAIGHT-FORWARD and making conversation with a man you like goes a LONG way (at least with me it does). What most women fail to realize is that some men get a little nervous talking to a beautiful woman. And in all fairness, beautiful women get hit-on all day long. By the time a nice guy gets to them, they've reached their limit and just shoot him down before she even realizes that he volunteers in kid's church, goes to church every Sunday, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke or use drugs, doesn't use foul language, pays his child support 100% on time, sees his kids every chance he can, helps others, etc. Nah, one look at his inexpensive watch, t-shirt, jeans and sandals and women decide the man isn't suited for her.

Women, like a man? Go talk to him. If he reciprocates, GOOD! If not, so what? And if you see ME around, talk to ME! You'd be surprised how friendly I am. :laugh:

I love NICE guys. I don't however like church or people who don't swear so that is where we could have an issue.

MFPAddict

I am sexually aggressive and if a man can't handle it then he can't handle me.

I need an emoticon that is jumping up and down with a sign that says PICK ME. :bigsmile:

Steelheart7

after reading these responses i understand even more why am single and now am convinced i will never find another man.

I'm too nervous to make the first move and it looks like you guys are too scared and like a forward woman.

I should just start buying cats now.

I'm with you sister!

ItsCasey

I understand where some of these women are coming from when they say they look for a man who has "stuff." It's not about the materialistic aspect. It truly is about wanting to know that the man has a solid work ethic. "Stuff" is just one indicator of that, but it's a big indicator. It's very rare to meet a man who has a nice home, a nice car, nice clothing, etc., who doesn't work hard. That doesn't mean he's a good guy. There are plenty of hard-working men with really nice things who are total jerks. But it lets you know, before you get to personalities, that he's not allergic to hard work, and the older a woman gets, the more important that becomes.

I'm well-educated, I have a good job, and I have been supporting myself since I moved away from home at the age of 18. I did not grow up in a wealthy family (not even close), and everything I have was earned by the sweat of my brow and the grace of God. My desire to find a man who is in a similar position is not about me wanting a sugar daddy. I want to know that if I marry this man and have children with him, I don't have to worry that we're going to lose our home or that our kids will starve if one of us loses our job.

I completely understand that a man can have a good job and a strong work ethic and not live in a mansion or drive a $60,000 car or wear $3000 suits to work every day, and I take no issue with that. In fact, I have never dated a man who made more money than I do, so salary is not the issue. I just don't want to be called a snob or a gold-digger for avoiding guys who live in a room above their parents' garage and have no job, no car, or anything that would suggest they are even thinking about the future, let alone actively planning for it.