What's ur Best Marriage Advice
thinktank32k
Posts: 716
in Chit-Chat
So in 3 months I will be married. You always hear the horrible stuff but that's not what I am here for. With that being said I am looking for the besy marriage advice from some happily married people. It would be nice to have it before a rocky road or bad time occurs. So I am all ears........
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Replies
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I am VERY happily married. I married my BEST friend and we have been together for 10 years and married for over 9 years. The very best advice I can give you is....
Do NOT go to bed angry. So many couples make the mistake of pulling the silent treatment or storming off and not coming back to talk it out. You HAVE to talk it out. Even if that means staying up until 4 in the morning. Don't sleep on it, talk on it.
Most importantly, keep God at the center of your relationship. If you fight, say a prayer together and it will calm you both down and you can both know how the other feels they need help.
Another thing....
In the middle of the fight, get naked and demand sex. It will confuse the CRAP out of your husband and he will look like a deer in headlights, but will go along with it anyways....because he's a dude.
Congrats on your marriage, may you have endless years of love, bliss and adventure!0 -
1. Take divorce off the table
2. Get some premarital counseling, talk to him about potential areas of conflict before you even get married
3. Keep it fresh/interesting/exciting.0 -
Open communication. Talk about EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
And flirt.0 -
Open communication. Talk about EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
And flirt.
I agree with this!!0 -
DONT DO IT.
no im kidding...i really wouldnt know since im not married.
But i would guess like everyone else said...just communication. The second you stop communicating in ANY sort of realtionship it takes a hit.
Good Luck & Happy Marriage!!
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I am VERY happily married. I married my BEST friend and we have been together for 10 years and married for over 9 years. The very best advice I can give you is....
Do NOT go to bed angry. So many couples make the mistake of pulling the silent treatment or storming off and not coming back to talk it out. You HAVE to talk it out. Even if that means staying up until 4 in the morning. Don't sleep on it, talk on it.
Most importantly, keep God at the center of your relationship. If you fight, say a prayer together and it will calm you both down and you can both know how the other feels they need help.
Another thing....
In the middle of the fight, get naked and demand sex. It will confuse the CRAP out of your husband and he will look like a deer in headlights, but will go along with it anyways....because he's a dude.
Congrats on your marriage, may you have endless years of love, bliss and adventure!
Love the "ANother thing" :happy:0 -
Sort of simple, but love is an action, and getting along takes work. Grace, lots of it, and always remembering that your not perfect either.0
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Another thing....
In the middle of the fight, get naked and demand sex. It will confuse the CRAP out of your husband and he will look like a deer in headlights, but will go along with it anyways....because he's a dude.
Haha this is pretty true.
My marriage had some rough times last year and I let distractions get the best of me. Now that I'm focused again, we are back on the right track and back to keeping it fresh and fun, being honest and loyal, and not letting the little things ruin a whole day. Always communicate your wants and needs and make sure you understand theirs as well. ♥0 -
I was also going to say "Never go to bed angry" which is something my uncle told me when I got married.
Communication is really key. Don't expect he's going to know what you're thinking. Trust me, he doesn't. Also don't assume you know what he's thinking because you will often be surprised. Even after 27 years together, and 23 years of my marriage my husband manages to surprise me with what's in his head. :laugh:0 -
Woops.0
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talk talk TALK!!! i met my husband in the states while he was visiting family and we did the long distance thing for 2 years (hes a brit) and thats the best way ever! it forces you to talk about everything!!! if you cant communicate you cant have a relationship, communication both verbal and non
i agree with a poster above, NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY!!0 -
In my opinion, success in marriage has a lot to do with choosing well in the first place. Over time, know that things change, so stay flexible. Most marriages have good times and bad times, when you are talking about decades together. And I like this quote from Benjamin Franklin: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”0
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"Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together."--B. L., my older, married cousin. She gave this advice to me at my bridal shower. It still makes me giggle.0
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There are NO secrets! My husband and I tell each other EVERYTHING. Be painfully honest if you have to be, I have been with my husband for almost 14 years and I am only 30 we still gab like girls lol he is my best friend in the whole world.0
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Been married since 1978 (34yrs.). For the last 10 years, Separate houses. We get along great, now. :laugh:0
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My wife and I have been married 27 yrs. I say be honest and talk and actually listen to each other.I still tell my wife I love her after every phone call and every time I leave the house. We survived 20 yrs of military life and a lot of deployments. Never take each other for granted!! Best of luck!!0
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I am VERY happily married. I married my BEST friend and we have been together for 10 years and married for over 9 years. The very best advice I can give you is....
Do NOT go to bed angry. So many couples make the mistake of pulling the silent treatment or storming off and not coming back to talk it out. You HAVE to talk it out. Even if that means staying up until 4 in the morning. Don't sleep on it, talk on it.
Most importantly, keep God at the center of your relationship. If you fight, say a prayer together and it will calm you both down and you can both know how the other feels they need help.
Another thing....
In the middle of the fight, get naked and demand sex. It will confuse the CRAP out of your husband and he will look like a deer in headlights, but will go along with it anyways....because he's a dude.
Congrats on your marriage, may you have endless years of love, bliss and adventure!
Love the "ANother thing" :happy:
It's the most fun too!! Just the look of bewilderment on his face like..."What the?? Well, ok"0 -
Dont expect the other person to think like you or be a nind reader.
If asked if something is wrong and something is wrong do not say "nothing"0 -
NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY!!
Yeah, stay up and fight! just kidding.
but the talking about almost everything is good advice0 -
"Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together."--B. L., my older, married cousin. She gave this advice to me at my bridal shower. It still makes me giggle.
It's a cute quote but it is also 100% TRUE! I find that I can't have sex unless we have talked out any issues that were on the table previously. So, having the goal of having sex often means that in order to do that, we HAVE to talk first!
Because, as others have said, communication is the biggest thing. Take it from someone who didn't do that in my first marriage...and paid the price for it.
Best of luck! ;o)0 -
talk to them and tell them what you feel/when you feel it.
thats so important to me.0 -
Fight fair, and right respectfully. There is no need for name calling or criticism. Also, never do anything behind your spouse's back that you wouldn't do if he was right in front of you.0
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I also agree with this. I've been with my husband almost 11 years married almost 6. The best advice I can give is open communication and complete honesty. Talk about everything and don't keep any kind of secrets from each other. Also be each others best friend.Open communication. Talk about EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
And flirt.0 -
Married almost 19 years. My parents have been married 45 years. Their parents were married until death. So I've learned a few things along the way.
1. If you wouldn't marry him if he was broke/heavy/ etc then don't marry him. Looks change. Finances change. Marry because you know you will love him as much when he's a saggy 80yo as you do today.
2. Do little things to let him know you love him. I pinch my hubby's big toes. I leave a note in the morning on weekends to say that coffee is all set up. There are a lot more but see #3.
3. Keep some private cute things you do/say. My dad calls my mom WW. They won't tell us what it stands for. Hubby and I sign notes with ILYAYMBF! (It means I love you and you're my best friend! -- something kid 2 used to say) but while I did just post it here when I sign it to him in an email no one else knows what it means.
4. Have fun together. One of my fondest memories of my parents is my dad chasing my mom down the hallway tickling her and she was running away giggling. Your spouse should be your best friend. Act it.
5. I disagree on the "never go to bed angry" rule. Sometimes you are just dang tired and ticked off and have to get up early. Sometimes just sleeping on it will make you realize that he had a good point or it wasn't hat big of a deal in the first place. If not, you can always continue to discuss it later.
6. Never sleep apart unless there is no option. Obviously, if one of you travels for work it's not an option. But if you are angry you should still sleep in the same bed. Don't move yourself or him to the guest room or couch. It's easy to move apart, it's not so easy to move back together.
7. No matter how angry you are, don't yell. You are both adults and should be able to have a rational conversation even if you disagree. Hubby grew up in a family where his dad yelled a lot. When we were first married we got into an argument. He started yelling. I stood up, walked up the stairs, and stood as far away from him as I could while still being able to see each other. He asked what I was doing. I told him that if he wanted to have an adult conversation I'd come back down but if he was going to yell I'd at least give him a reason to have to yell so he could be heard. We've never yelled at each other since.
8. Realize that even though it's a partnership, it won't always be 50/50. Sometimes it will be 90/10 and sometimes it will be 10/90.
9. Know all the important things about each other before getting married. How many kids do you want? How long do you want to be married before starting a family? Will one of you be an at home parent? Where will you spend holidays? Know each other's spending habits. etc
10. Above all, never, ever mention the D word unless you absolutely, positively mean it.0 -
So in 3 months I will be married. You always hear the horrible stuff but that's not what I am here for. With that being said I am looking for the besy marriage advice from some happily married people. It would be nice to have it before a rocky road or bad time occurs. So I am all ears........
Cheat. Both of you. But remember where you sleep at night. We're all human, we all want something different once in awhile, no matter how great something is you'll always want something different every so often.
Never lie about money.0 -
It's impossible to not go to bed mad... if your mad you are... but don't let it linger... get it out in the open and move on. Also... be open and honest 100% of the time...makes things much easier in the end. good luck!!!0
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Let your husband "think" he is right sometimes. Lol.0
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if you want a broken marriage, share the few problems between you with friends, family and Facebook. If you want a solid marriage, DON'T share your personal, marital problems with others, but DO share the MANY positive memories in your life with each other. :bigsmile:0
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Communication, Trust, Respect for each other, Loyality to each other, Love.. Keys to a great marriage...0
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Work as a team and have sex. And don't forget to say please and thank you.0
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