What's ur Best Marriage Advice
Replies
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1. good communication
2. good problem solving skills
3. make your priority his happiness, not yours (if he loves you, he will do the same for you and this takes all the "work" out of marriage.
4. Get your prenuptial agreement from the same firm I did. It's from Smith & Wesson and reads "if I'm not mad enough to kill him I'm not mad enough yet." in other words, divorce is not an option.
5. Mutually respect each other (I tell everyone my husband is perfect, and he says I'm always right.)
6. Sit down together once a week and write in a journal what you love about each other. (read this whenever you can't remember why you married him)
7. Never miss an opportunity to say, "I love you" & have an unspoken way to say "I love you" ( like tugging your ear) so you can say it when speaking isn't possible or practical.
8. Once you have forgiven him for something, never bring it up again. And don't let him.
9. Don't argue about style. If he does things differently than you do, but the job still gets done, what's the big deal?
10. Shared core values - We both love our Lord Jesus Christ and this gives our marriage a third strand of strength to get us through the hard times.
My hubby and I have been happily and contentedly married over 10 years, and we both follow this advice. We don't think of marriage as hard work. If you do what is right for each other every day and don't let stuff pile up it only gets easier and better.
Since we married my husband has lost both his parents and I have had cancer, among other things, so our marriage has been tested and this works.0 -
Married for 39 years this November...
Remember that marriage is a "WE" not a 'ME" thing, if you are always thinking about what will please your hubby and if he is thinking what will please my wife, it takes the selfishness out of any negative situation. Usually disagreements happen because of something I want for ME and then when HE doesn't respond in kind then the troubles begin...so always think in terms of "WE" and what is best for "US" and then talk about everything
Take the work and or option of Divorce out of your marriage from day one. Your marriage will take work and you will have high's and low's but determine that you two will work through any problem.
Keep laughing, my hubby still makes me laugh:laugh:
Congrats and Best Wishes:flowerforyou:0 -
My husband is my best friend and I truly admire so many things about him but he does occasionally get on my nerves. When this happens, I think back on all the reasons I fell in love with him and my frustration starts going away. In other words, focus on the positive. If you have to criticize decide first if the criticism will be edifying to the relationship. If it is something that has to change for the relationship to be happy and healthy then by all means say it. If it is not helpful to the person or your relationship, just keep your mouth shut. If it will be more hurtful than helpful it is not worth mentioning. Like the quote from the movie Bambi, "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all."0
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Married 36 yrs, I think the biggest thing is acceptance of each other. Accept each others faults and don't be afraid to day I'm sorry even when you know you're right. But.... it's a two way street.
Good Luck0 -
Talk about your views on money BEFORE you tie the knot. If you don't agree on finances, this will cause conflict sooner than later.0
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Been married since 1978 (34yrs.). For the last 10 years, Separate houses. We get along great, now. :laugh:
that's what my fiance figures we'll do ones the child grows up and moves out...he can have the house, I'll have the condo downtown, and we can still date each other. I'm not looking for a divorce, just my own bathroom 0 -
Be open with each other, NO Secrets. They will surface one day and cause problems. Talk with each other- very important. After 26 years we have been through a lot. He is still my Best Friend first, then my Husband and then my Lover.
One more important thing in a marriage is Never Work With FAMILY. Of the 26 years we have been married we have worked together all but maybe 3. That has been the hardest thing in our marriage.0 -
Dutch oven at least once a month.0
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6. Don't tell your family and friends everything wrong with your relationship.
Oh, yes this is a good one! I have never, ever been one to ring up my mother or MIL to dish about my husband. They were very resentful of it for years, because apparently that's how it should be done? (I don't get it but it was brought up to me by both of them.) Anyway, later, when my brother got married, his wife DID do that and my mother really came to appreciate not getting those calls from me. And I have never had to worry about anyone butting into my relationship (married 18 years!)0 -
Men: Memorize the following for all situations, whether you are right or not -
"yes, dear, I know, its my fault, you're right, I'm sorry, it will never happen again."
Say this phrase over and over until it is committed to memory.0 -
One last thing, when (if) you become parents, keep being a wife as well. In my house kids are in bed by 9 pm nightly and I like to make talking about htem off limits if we can. I was once told that you should be your hubands wife and his mistress! :blushing: Never be afraid to try new things in bed-keep it interesting, set a bse of rules and then try anything else(if you are going to sleep with one person the rest of your life make sure it is fun!)0
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Men: Memorize the following for all situations, whether you are right or not -
"yes, dear, I know, its my fault, you're right, I'm sorry, it will never happen again."
Say this phrase over and over until it is committed to memory.
:laugh:
:laugh: 0 -
We actually hold meetings every Sunday to discuss what went wrong that week, or if there are things we want the other to apologize for or we want to apologize for. It sounds silly but it works miracles.
Wow, it definitely sounds ridiculous, but I want to try it anyway!!!
Sometimes those apologies escape our minds and then remain unsaid. Chances are, the one who needed to hear that apology will still need it long after the "culprit" has forgotten. It would be great to store those in a memory bank and make sure they don't go unsaid. Of course, the apologies could come out before that "meeting" as well, but I think it's a good idea to have the meeting as part of your routine just in case you need it as a backup time to say the "I'm sorry" you had forgotten to say. 0 -
So much great advice on here that I probably don't need to add anything, but here are my 2 cents worth.
Make sure you spend time alone together without kids, work etc. It's easy to get distracted by day to day life. Time alone together is really important to strengthen the bond between you.
Be silly together, have fun!
If you have an argument, be quick to forgive. Sometimes talking through things will resolve the argument, sometimes it won't. You won't always agree on everything, so you just have to let some things go, especially if they are small things. Keep your eye on the big picture when you can. Try your hardest never to call each other names etc if you are arguing. Those wounds will be remembered, even when the topic of the actual disagreement is long forgotten.
Before you tie the knot, make sure you've talked through your expectations of your life together with regard to kids, share of housework, money etc. Remember, some of the things you both expect in the beginning will change, because people and circumstances change too, so stay open minded and flexible.
Always be honest and considerate to each other.
Lastly, one of my favourite quotes: "Love does not consist of gazing into each others' eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction.”0 -
Remember that it takes WORK from both of you!
Continue to date your spouse after you're married. Don't take them for granted. Most everyone needs and wants to feel special.
If you find yourself in a disagreement, try to stop and think "Is this something WORTH getting this upset about?" or "Do I really need to be right all the time?" or "Will this matter in 2,5, or 10 years from now?" (I'm not so good at this, but I'm pretty sure it would be a good thing for me to practice)
Have fun together and try to carve out a little time to enjoy yourself on your own. I think it's important to continue to grow as a person, as well as a couple. So spending a little time pursuing some of your own interests may be a nice thing to keep in mind.
I hope you have a beautiful wedding and a blessed marriage!0 -
Dutch oven at least once a month.
LOL
And make it a spicy one!!!!0 -
best advise i ever gotten from from my daddy- he said know when to smile and say yes dear... and it works!!!!!!!
know when to walk away from an agrument- not everything is worth fighting about even though theres things bout him that will drive you crazy just remember theres things you do that are equally irrating
and communicate- it does have to be on everything little thing but when it comes down to serious decision making it should be mutual unless you or him are in a situation where you have to make the call....
and theres more to marriage than love- its time, patience, compassion, respect, forgiveness etc....0 -
Look at your spouse through rose colored glasses. He is not perfect. He will not do everything the way you think he should. But if you look at him through rose colored glasses those flaws you will see in him won't seem so bad. I know my husband must look at me through them b/c I don't know how he puts up with all of my flaws!
Always be the best friend you would want him to be to you.0 -
Always remember no one is perfect that includes you ; )0
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SEX!!!
Acceptance - Don't try to change the person you married
SEX!!!
Don't sweat the small stuff
SEX!!!
Realize you both contribute in different ways to the relationship and that is ok.
If you can't stand something work around it. He can't wipe the sink down so we have 2 master sinks. We tried a single bank account but I use my card for everything so it is just easier for us to have 2 accounts. That being said he is on mine and I am on his so we know what is going on but it is easier for us.
Support each other.
SEX!!! (We have a bottle of lube sitting on our headboard and in the shower)
Say what you mean and mean what you say. But don't be mean and if you are in the heat of the moment say you are sorry because you probable are.
Enjoy!0 -
Marriage means a commitment to love each other for worse or for better. Be truthful to each other.0
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I suck at being married, seriously...but this time I think I got it right! You have to be able to laugh with each other, at each other, do things together and just have FUN! I do a lot of things my husband really enjoys..that I think are just okay and I try to think of him in everything I do....however..he is NOT my best friend nor should he be..I have girl friends for that. Congrats on your marriage and just give it everything you have...it won't be easy..but it can be done0
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^^This is good advice. While I rarely wake up still mad it does happen sometimes and that is when the talking begins. Married for 15 years now so something is working.Forget never go to bed angry. GO TO BED ANGRY. In the morning, it's likely you will not understand why you were so angry. If you're still angry, there's a problem that needs to be sorted.
I have never woken up still angry.0 -
Didn't read every page - so sorry if this is duplicate advice.
Don't go in thinking you will change something about him 'after' you get married. Yes - people can change - but they have to WANT to change. If there is something you don't like about him now - you will not like it in a few years - and it won't go away unless HE decides he doesn't like it either.
Totally agree with all the advice to communicate, have sex, date night, more sex, have fun... did I mention SEX???
One last thing... and I find this one difficult... Try to be each other's everything without losing your sense of self.
Oh - and have LOTS and LOTS of SEX!0 -
Just celebrated my 2 yr anniversary with my husband this week. We found out quickly that first God is there and will get you through anything. and don't smoother eachother.
Give eachother space
Don't Nit Pick or Nag(This is the biggest mistake for girls, The ones I know at least)
Enjoy him
Be selfless
Don't feel like your his mother.
It is working perfectly for us, Happy to say I am still the happiest girl in the world!!!!!0 -
Two words: Mutual Respect
It goes a long way towards making a relationship work.0 -
6. Don't tell your family and friends everything wrong with your relationship.
Oh, yes this is a good one! I have never, ever been one to ring up my mother or MIL to dish about my husband. They were very resentful of it for years, because apparently that's how it should be done? (I don't get it but it was brought up to me by both of them.) Anyway, later, when my brother got married, his wife DID do that and my mother really came to appreciate not getting those calls from me. And I have never had to worry about anyone butting into my relationship (married 18 years!)
Wow....this one!!!
I'm the same way, our marriage is our marriage, whatever issues there are, we deal with. I've been married 13 yrs and have never called my mother, sister, friends to dish the dirt on him. I put this one right back under the respect thing......I wouldn't want him calling his mom telling her every detail or problem that might come up, so I give him and our relationship the same respect.0 -
and start doing daily temperature readings
http://www.smartmarriages.com/tempreading.html
Some of the best advice I can think of is... don't listen to ^this^ guy.0 -
Oh, I forgot you add, make sure you also SPEND TIME APART! I don't mean days or weeks on end, but I think it helps if you keep some hobbies and friends separate, otherwise you won't have anything new to talk about and easily get bored of each other!0
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"Marriage Advice From 1886″
Never go to bed angry.
Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger.
Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is easier to bend a little than to break.
Believe the best rather than the worst.
People have a way of living up or down to your opinion of them.
Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship.
The person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies and kindness you bestow on your friends.
Please pass this on to your children and their children’s children. The more things change the more they are the same.
I think this is awesome
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