LIBIDO!!! how to get one??

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

Take it before it drives me crazy.

Ah, same here.

But, the 30 Day Shred did good things for me. I'm not sure what it was, but right after I got done with it, I wanted to get laid. Possibly TMI? Ah, oh well.

bjohs

This is really sad. I am not judging you or your relationship, but if you are not switched on when your SO walks in the room, there's an underlying problem. Love is complicated and some people make trades between different things to have something close to what they want. When looking for a partner in life, you might say to yourself, "he's not super attractive but he's so freaking funny that it makes up for it". Years later, he's still funny, but the sex drives escapes you and you can't figure out why because you forgot about the little deal you made with yourself.

Again, this is a generalized comment; nothing about you personally. Just saying, maybe dig deeper and see if it's something else. Do not go for the drugs. That's BS. No one needs drugs to switch on their sex drive. Alcohol, on the other hands, can make it fun.

Not true, really. Low libido is something many women experience despite enjoying sex with their partner. It is hormonal... not physical.

sarahgilmore

Eat more!

truecaligirl

You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

Take it before it drives me crazy.

Im on the same boat!

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

Take it before it drives me crazy.

Im on the same boat!

Solution: The three of us need to fornicate with each other. XD

sarahgilmore

Oh, also, if you want to want it, but just can't quite get things ramped up enough for it to work, try some porn or erotic literature.

bcc112986

Read a few articles online. It seems like Vitex (Chaste Tree Berry) may be a worthwhile try.

"Vitex is one of the only natural substances which balances both estrogen and progesterone levels. Many herbalists have noticed that 20% to 30% of the women using Vitex report an increase in sexual desire."

Good luck ladies.

BC

bear_nakey

You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

Take it before it drives me crazy.

*sigh* ditto sista. . . I'm feelin' your pain. . .

Jennyisbusy

You are very brave to post this! Just because a dip in libido is normal (and it is) doesn't mean that you have to like it or just wait around hoping it comes back.

There are many reasons that your libido may be on vacation, and you may need help beyond MFP

Most things that are good for getting your body healthy will be good for your libido as well. You need lots of water and good solid nutrition for ALL parts of your body to work properly. I have recently found that increasing my calories has added a boost to my own.

Sometimes you need to up the level of freakiness to keep things hot, break away from the routine, read naughty stories, get a new toy or a positions book...

Last thought - you need to spend quality time together. Who wants to have sex with the person you have only seen for half an hour and discussed bills and cleaned the table with this week??? Not me!

Good luck!!

widmar

I take Maca supplement. It comes in powder or pill form. It is a natural herb from the health food store. Of course check with your doc to make sure it will not react wit any meds you may be taking. This is a common thing with women. I love my husband and he is 9 yrs younger. He is Very attractive to me. I had to do something to help me out because I didn't feel like initiating anything. Maca helps. Take it daily and it will build up in your system. It helps me. Hope it will help you. You are doing everything else right! Good luck.

breezad

thank you everyone!!
i defiantely do and would take some of your ladies extra libido hahaha!!

however i think ido need to get some help outside of here cause im doing all the things you are suggesting. we use toys and positions and porn and this and that. i drink 3 litres water a day, i eat healthy and i exercise.

but still nothing...
and i can try take him away but wat will that do, give me one night wherre we are intimate (and broke) and then go back home and stays the same. i know wats it like and i enjoy it so why dont i want to keep going back to it.. or why is it so hard to get in the mood.???

i am taking birth control. ive been on the pill for about 15years but ive had a bigger libido than this and i was on it.

Jamakin

I lost my libido when i was depressed(about my knee and a few other lil things) a few weeks to a month ago, and i didnt know why at first. But after discussing it openly with my partner everything seemeed to go back to the way we were because we were closer at the end of our talk.
If you identify whats bothering you, then it might be easier to get back into it.
Thats just my experience anyway.
I hope it gets better coz i know exactly how your feeling!!! xxxxx

Hollie_downunder

I was going to say the same about the pill, i changed mine recently, hoping it will help!

Had the same problem recently, but its hard when you're working different shifts and to be honest on 40 degree days sometimes you don't wanna get any more hot and sweaty than you already are! ;P

in all serious though, was thinking of trying that horny goat weed supplement for sale in coles etc... can't hurt to try it?
Me & my partner also have to schedule it in and make an effort, sounds boring but sometimes its the only way we fit it in!! (literally) haha

lilojoke

Eat more!

Low calorie diets can have an effect on libido and suppress it.

chrishgt4

I know it's from the POV of the opposite sex, but with an ex I got to the point I just wasn't interested.

Same sort of thing - it was awesome when we did, but basically it sort of just boiled down to laziness in a way.

I got past it though, by basically just making the decision I wasn't going to be passive about it any more.

For me, it sort of dwindled off a bit, as it does naturally - most people aren't going to be at it 4 times a night and again in the morning every time they see each other forever...lol

But as it dwindled, it slowly became longer and longer between times until it became almost awkward? to start anything.

I then decided I wasn't going to let it go down like that - as I say once we did, it was good, it was just getting started - so I forced myself to make the effort, pretty much nightly, until I forced myself to realise how it wasn't actually an effort. It became a regular part of our relationship again and honestly it was back like being in the honeymoon phase again.

Moral of the story - just do it.

aj_gettingfit

I've been in the same situation. I saw my doctor about it too. For me its because by the end of the night after our kid is in bed and I get to sit down and relax I'm too tired to do anything else. We have a 12 yr old so it's not like we can sneak away anymore and stuff like that. We have to wait until she's in bed. We took a trip not that long ago and it was the best week we've had in years. The passion came back and I believe its because we got away from the 'real world' for awhile and just focused on us.

Also - i told my husband he needed to step it up around the house. He needed to help with cleaning up after dinner, doing a load of a laundry once in awhile and maybe even bringing me home flowers once in a blue moon. He's made the efforts I've asked for and been 'rewarded' for it.

Basically if you want your relationship to work and to last you have to find a way to put effort into starting things. I'm bad at starting too but you just have to do it. Eventually it gets easier and doesn't take as much effort.

psych101

Eat more!

Low calorie diets can have an effect on libido and suppress it.

^^ This

eve7166

Did you start drinking soy milk in the past year? If you did you might want to look into it. Also do you take birth control? You might want to talk to your gyno when you go next time. Also take vitamins with B5

MrsRipdizzle

Birth control. Get off of it. (Assuming you are taking it.) That will cure your problem!

Seriously. I had been on BC since I was about 19 (after having a baby while NOT being on it). My libido TANKED. I couldn't figure out why since I never had any problem before. I thought maybe it was because we had a kid and ya know how they say that will kill it. Phhhht. For years I dealt with this problem...him being a 20 something male...me not caring. Ohhh it sucked so bad. I finally made the decision to get off of BC to see if some other hormonal issues I was having would improve. BEST D@MN DECISION I EVER MADE!!!! Took a couple of months .... but now...I'm begging HIM for more than the 2x weekly romps. *sigh* (I suppose that losing some weight and exercise definitely helped as it was a major help for my confidence.)

I have not found a BC that didn't affect my libido, and I've tried many. So...we are now using condoms and praying (sucks when you've been together 14 years) because I really don't want a baby right now. But girl, it's back....with a vengeance and 12 years to make up for!!!

(Also, side note...I've read recently that yohimbine helps with sex drive....and if you don't care for the side effects, to try AlphaBurn as it does the same but less side effects. That is, if you are looking for a supplement...)
Good luck girl ~ I know all too well the frustration you are feeling!!!

Alex_is_Hawks

You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

Take it before it drives me crazy.

Im on the same boat!

Solution: The three of us need to fornicate with each other. XD

Really? Is that all it will take?

toniRAD

i am taking birth control. ive been on the pill for about 15years but ive had a bigger libido than this and i was on it.

I asked because I used to be on it for a few years, and the last year of it I started feeling kinda like you do. I went off it because I researched about all the dangers of taking it, & only a week after stopping the pill I felt completely back to normal. Maybe you should give it a try.

breezad

ive been on it for ages birth control and i wasnt like this before..
i dunno..

however i have started drinking soy milk...

logicandlove

Honestly, and I know this might sound strange, but getting in touch with my sexuality is what keeps my sex drive high in my relationship as well. I *kitten* pretty regularly, and not only has it helped me learn what i like and need, but it keeps me interested in being sexual, especially when I can teach my man to do what I know works for me, which is always great.

Other than that, since you say you enjoy sex once it's started, maybe just try initiating it gradually. Spend an hour or two while you're on the couch watching TV to cuddle up to him, then put your hands on him, then throw in some intermittent kisses — and then stop for a while before you start up again. Teasing first will get you both more interested and involved then just jumping to the bedroom within 30 seconds.

logicandlove

bump

jching29

You both can have mine...it's through the roof, and my partner couldn't be less interested.

Take it before it drives me crazy.

Seriously, same here. My libido has always been (when quietly compared with other women I know) quite crazy, and my girlfriend's isn't nearly as high. It drives her nuts...but I really do believe that a strong libido comes from a lot of love for oneself, both literally and euphemistically.

I find that, when I don't touch myself as often, my sex drive goes way down. And not only does it make me less inclined to want sex (boo!) but it also makes me think a lot less of myself...I don't love the way I look and feel as much, and *that* is something that I can't bear to live with.

ihateroses

Watch some porn for women (it does exist!!).

luhluhlaura

-First, look at yourself and your relationship and see if there's any underlying issue that makes you feel less comfortable around him.
I have that "initiating it" problem a lot of the time too and I think that has to do with my own insecurities--like inside I'm thinking, "well if he isn't making a move, he must not want me" and it's so silly.
-Secondly, are you on a birth control pill? My sex drive/sexual responses DIED when I was on the pill, in addition to a host of other bad side effects ):
-Thirdly, a supplement often used with weight-training programs called L-Arginine is an amino acid that helps with vasodilatation...I've read that it can help boost female sexual response. I've taken it (not for that reason) and had no unpleasant side effects if taken with a meal. worth a try?

fittiephd

You know, I had a similar problem for a little while last year. As soon as school ended and I was no longer completely stressed out 24/7, I suddenly wanted it every day haha. I didn't realize that stress effected me that much, or that I had been so stressed for that long.

Maybe try relaxing or catching up at work/school so that you don't have anything else on your mind. Or go on vacation! That always helps

Edited to add that I always have a jumpstarted libido when I've been drinking haha so you could give that a go....

Dezzie046

As already said: maybe try another birth control pill or even another sort of birth control. Birth control messes with your hormones!
If you've ruled out any underlying problems such as maybe insecurity, stress, things that bother you in the relationship, it might just be that you are one of very many women that have this "problem". It's not uncommon. A lot of women don't have the drive to "start" it, but get into it as it goes.

What ihateroses said is true too by the way, try to find some female friendly porn if you feel comfortable with that, it might spice things up a little!

legittuszynski

Opposite sex here ...

Unfortunately my wife is currently battling vulvodynia (going on 3 years now). It makes spontaneous sex impossible, and even well planned sex almost too painful for me to be part of. I just can't see that look of discomfort on her face - and it seems as though she is just doing it as a duty or chore.

Over the years, our sex life has virtually disappeared. The intimacy is gone, and it has gotten to the point where even attempting to initiate sex would seem selfish and awkward. In conjunction with this, I noticed that I too rarely think about or desire sex. My wife is fit, good looking, and an all around hottie - I just don't desire sex. Not sex with her, not sex with anyone. I recently went to the doctor for the first time in years and found out I had a host of health issues (all weight related) and my testosterone level was only 175 (should be around 600 for a dude my age). My doc said that my years of pseudo abstinence, my weight gain, and mental acceptance of my wife's medical condition are all likely contributing factors to my drop in testosterone.

I say all this to come to the point that you may have a hormone imbalance or something medically causing your lack of libido. Sure, BC and other drugs may be causing it, but you may want to talk to your doctor specifically about your sex hormones and get a blood test. It couldn't hurt.