Should men get paternity leave from work?

MelissaL582

My husband had 6 weeks of paternity leave. So glad that he did because our youngest son caused me to be on strict bedrest at the hospital at 28 weeks (ended up having him a week later and he was in the NICU) . We didn't have family or friends around to watch our other two children. You need all the help you can get when you're in the early phase of recovering from a c-section.

AlayshaJ

YES! I had a hard time recovering from my most recent c-section and must husband HAD to go to work. I have a two year old! I can not take care of a two year old while nursing an incision that goes through multiple layers. I could barley walk to the bathroom! I had to have my grandma come stay with me for the first month! I couldnt stand up for more than five minutes at a time for a long time. I couldnt do dishes, cook dinner, clean, it was even hard to take a shower! Some people don't have the luxury of having a grandparent out of work that is willing to come help. She drove an hour everymorning and every night to and from my house. She shouldnt have had to do that. My husband should have been able to take off work to be there with me. Its ridiculous that he couldn't.

lindalee0315

They do. If covered under the FMLA, men are able to take 12 weeks off during the first year of the child's life for purposes of bonding. If mom and dad work for the same company, they have to divide up that leave. (They can take it together, but both parents' use is added together to reach the 12 weeks). Of course, it is an unpaid leave (for both mom and dad) unless the company policy dictates otherwise.

becoming_a_new_me

I think a few days should be sufficient.. I mean they didn't blast the thing out of their crotch but they were involved in the baby making.

HAAAAAAA this made me spit, well spit, all over the keyboard. Like projectile laughing. Guffawing even. I ADORE the visual that women are blasting babies out of their crotches like WWII heavy artillery.

I say that because I have YET to have one. I am sure that I will describe it in other ways once it happens

Oh no, I think you're right on. ::pew pew pew::

Omg! Now I am laughing!

Does that mean we should refer to our children as crotch rockets?

cabaray

I'm not saying men shouldn't get some time off, but women do not get time off to bond with the baby either. Disability (or maternity leave as some like to call it) is granted for a medical disability. Women do get to bond with the baby while they are off, but that is not why they are given time off. That is the difference in my opinion.

ashleighk90

I think a few days should be sufficient.. I mean they didn't blast the thing out of their crotch but they were involved in the baby making.

HAAAAAAA this made me spit, well spit, all over the keyboard. Like projectile laughing. Guffawing even. I ADORE the visual that women are blasting babies out of their crotches like WWII heavy artillery.

ahhhh hahaha

izzydino

My husbands company luckily has paid paternity leave and luckily the state of california covers it in MOST cases. I was lucky to have him when I gave birth to my 2 children.

DAMNCHARLIE

If the lady wants to go back go work early, sure why not he should. Part of the leave for woman is the healing, having a baby takes a toll on a womans body. So being the man doesnt have to "heal" he should take his *kitten* to work and support his family. He can see the bundle of joy when he gets home.

Cmh1211

i was NOT granted a leave when my daughter was born... i took a month off anyway and told them to call me if i was fired for missing it. i dont think it is even a question of should i... i just did. my wife wasnt working for the first 3 years so even though she was able to stay with my daughter, i still felt the urge in my heart that i needed to be a part of it.

now i work from home so she stays with me the whole day... woot woot. then mommy gets home and tries to ruin our plot to take over the world. lol

becoming_a_new_me

I would have like to have my daughter's father around when I recovered, but as it was he decided that being an absentee sperm donor fit better into his busy life of check kiting and hookers. Needless to stay when the state finally caught up with him he was in prison. :indifferent:

I was working for a temp agency when I had my daughter, so if I wanted to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, I only was able to take a week off. Yep...one week after giving birth, I was back at work...thankfully I had a desk job.

I do think that men should get paternity leave of two weeks paid up to once every two years. After all, it is only fair if the man is going to stay home and help out he should get paid. His life changed too, and he will need to have time to adjust to 3am feedings and diaper changes.

dyannajoy

Discuss.

only if they give birth :bigsmile: But seriously............absolutely.........YES!! only if they are the type to really help their wives heal and to help their family adjust. I just came home from helping my daughter for a week with her newborn. Her husband only got a week of vacation time to be there with them. He works alot of hours. My daughter had a complicated c-section and could not be home alone. They are BOTH beyond exhausted, poor things. If we lived in a civilized country like Spain for example, moms would get 18 months of PAID leave and Dads would get time off too. SO YES BOTH SHOULD GET PAID TIME OFF OF WORK. Dads at least 3-4 weeks and moms at least 6 months!!!!!

CountryBoy65

Meh. Are you suggesting that the man would ACTUALLY help out during that time?!

Wait just a minute there....when my son was born 14 years ago, I took off six weeks and stayed home with him and my wife. During that six weeks, I got up with him everytime he cried in the night....every time he needed to be fed. During that six weeks, my wife did not have to wash or prepare one bottle. She did not have to do any laundry, or change the crib. I cooked for us and I cleaned and did dishes. I did the grocery shopping, the house cleaning. It gave her more time to actually bond with him instead of working, and it also gave me a lot of bonding time with both of them as well. So, please don't lump us all into one big group of assholes.

lindalee0315

Also, not to belabor the point--but most companies no longer talk in terms of "maternity" and "paternity" leave. It's simply "leave for the birth or care of a child." The reasons are complicated, but what it comes down to is that a company cannot discriminate on the basis of sex in its leave policies. Thus, most companies have gone to a gender-neutral system.

lour441

I stayed home and did everything until my wife was back on her feet which took 2 weeks. What I was entitled to from work was irrelevant.

christy_frank

They do. It is called FMLA and for a birth of a child, women & men get up to 12 weeks of FMLA time per calendar year.
I personally do not know any men that have taken 12 weeks or anything close but their job is protected if they do.

I will also get 12 weeks FMLA once I adopt my 3 foster children even though they are 4, 6 & 10 and I have had them almost 4 years. By law, I can take that time.

I can also take up to 12 weeks when a new child is placed in my care.

Some women also get postpartum depression & in those cases, if the men was able to be home, then I bet it would benefit the family.

'Paternity leave' is not just about recovering from the birth of the baby. If it was, I would have been back to work by day 2. It is precious time to BOND with the baby. A baby should not only bond with the mother. There should also be just a strong of a bond with the father and in most families, that is not the case.... in other countries both the men & women get 6 months, etc off and their families are closer and less problems later in life.

HauteP1nk

Meh. Are you suggesting that the man would ACTUALLY help out during that time?!

Wait just a minute there....when my son was born 14 years ago, I took off six weeks and stayed home with him and my wife. During that six weeks, I got up with him everytime he cried in the night....every time he needed to be fed. During that six weeks, my wife did not have to wash or prepare one bottle. She did not have to do any laundry, or change the crib. I cooked for us and I cleaned and did dishes. I did the grocery shopping, the house cleaning. It gave her more time to actually bond with him instead of working, and it also gave me a lot of bonding time with both of them as well. So, please don't lump us all into one big group of assholes.

Woo hoo! Well said... I agree, not all men are like that. My fiance is an example of someone who isn't afraid of a little house work or helping me out. Actually he does most of it...lol He is great with kids too and would probably be the one to stay home while I work.

YummyTpn

I just want to say, YES, in answer to this question.
Here in Canada, a couple (if there is a couple) is given 12 months leave from work (with 80-85% pay covered by the federal government). This twelve months can be taken by either, or both parents. So, when my brother and his wife had their child, he took 6 months off and so did his wife, to equal twelve. Or, the mother can just take the twelve months, or, even the father can take the twelve months...I belive it's up to each couple.

When I had my daughter in the States, I was given 3 months mat leave, which I had used up before my daughter was even born (I had a very high-stress job that my doctor removed me from during the pregnancy). If I didn't have a husband, like I did, I have NO IDEA how I would've lived after that 3 months ran out...

As well, to only give a parent three months with a baby after it's born is ludicrous! At three months, babies are still so tiny and in need of being with their primary caregiver! As well, when I was down in the States, most daycare didn't accept babies until they were one year of age...So if a mom had to go back to work when her baby was 3 months old, and didn't have family to care for the baby, what the h. does she do? NO PARENT should be put in that situation!
Anyway, I am happy with the way it is here in Canada...it just seems like families are valued.
-END RANT-

dyannajoy

They already have that option here in Canaduh. Mat leave is 52 weeks paid (capped percentage of your prior income and your job must be held for you while you're gone. Men can take paternity leave but however many weeks they take is deducted from the mother's 52 weeks.

Wow!! Wonderful! Why are we the last civilized country in the world when it comes to child care!!!!!

cabaray

Also, not to belabor the point--but most companies no longer talk in terms of "maternity" and "paternity" leave. It's simply "leave for the birth or care of a child." The reasons are complicated, but what it comes down to is that a company cannot discriminate on the basis of sex in its leave policies. Thus, most companies have gone to a gender-neutral system.

Most of the "leave for the birth or care of a child" is given under FMLA which is gender neutral. Most of the "maternity leave" that women get is covered under a company's medical disability program which does only apply to the mother as there is no medical reason for a man to be off work after the birth of a child.

OnMyWeigh464

I think a few days should be sufficient.. I mean they didn't blast the thing out of their crotch but they were involved in the baby making.

Maternity/paternity leave isn't given because someone pushed it out of their crotch. Sheesh. What about adoptive parents? Not sure about the states but in Canada adoptive parents get the same rights as the "one who blasted the baby out of their crotch"

I knew a couple, they were both teachers, who shared it. The mom took the first half off so she Could recover/breast feed/bond with baby. Dad took the next half off to Bond with baby. It's not a competition of "who went through the work to HAVE the baby" and if mom makes more and WANTS to go back to work and dad is all for it then kudos to him!

lickmybaconcakes

Yes.

HotKanye

My partner works for the federal government in Canada and I am self-employed as a photographer and therefore do not pay into employment insurance and do not get "maternity leave". (I just work as much or as little as I want in the first year.) But since I don't take it my partner is eligible for the portion that is paternity leave and his work tops him up to what works out to be the same salary since the taxes are done differently. Therefore he was able to be home for 9 months with us and still fully paid. Maternity leave in the states is a joke and probably a good reason why breastfeeding rates are so abysmal there. Moms and babies need time together to bond. Strong families equal healthier children who become better members of society. Supporting families = building a better nation over time. The US really needs to examine their parental leave. They are only one of four countries in the entire world that doesn't mandate paid time off for new parents. Something needs to change there. I consider it a huge blessing how much time our family was able to be together. Being a parent to a newborn makes it very hard to wake up at 5 am (if you were sleeping at all) and drag your butt to an office. I doubt most people are very productive employees while parenting a 2 month old anyway!

YummyTpn

They already have that option here in Canaduh. Mat leave is 52 weeks paid (capped percentage of your prior income and your job must be held for you while you're gone. Men can take paternity leave but however many weeks they take is deducted from the mother's 52 weeks.

That's because yer a pack damn dirty commies!

This is such an ignorant view of Canada. We are FAR from being commies, we just take better care of our people! We happen to value life, health, family, and education, and we all pay to have these supports. Jealous? You should be, because we have all this AND FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY!!!

butterflyliz32

They do. It's called FMLA, look it up.

I'm aware of that. It's not specifically "paternity" leave, though. Women have "maternity" leave. Should men have "paternity" leave?

Maternity or paternity leave are usually company-specific. The woman's medically-allowed time off is usually capped at 6 weeks (unless there are problems), which may or may not be covered under short-term disability/maternity leave policies. After that time, they switch to personal leave time, since FMLA allows them to be off up to 12 weeks, if they meet the criteria.

Paternity leave would not be covered under a sick-time/short-term disability, unless he somehow figured out a way to push that sweet baby out of his [censored]. It would just be covered under the Family portion of FMLA.

You are wise Thank you for wearing the HR hat.

Thank You! :flowerforyou:

ninerbuff

I quit my full time job to be a stay at home dad. Wouldn't do it again in a heart beat. Came to find out we didn't need as much money as we thought to live a good life and never have to worry if our kid isn't getting enough love and interaction with us.
As for paternity, a man should take it IF it's for the intention to actually care for the kid and not so he can have time off.


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cabaray

They already have that option here in Canaduh. Mat leave is 52 weeks paid (capped percentage of your prior income and your job must be held for you while you're gone. Men can take paternity leave but however many weeks they take is deducted from the mother's 52 weeks.

That's because yer a pack damn dirty commies!

This is such an ignorant view of Canada. We are FAR from being commies, we just take better care of our people! We happen to value life, health, family, and education, and we all pay to have these supports. Jealous? You should be, because we have all this AND FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY!!!

Pretty sure he was joking...

dyannajoy

In the US, men are eligible for Family Medical Leave (unpaid, unless they choose to use paid time off, which is not required by employers to offer/allow), the same as women. Part of that Act is not just to physically heal yourself, but also to take care of family members, or bond with a new baby. This is goes for either a direct-born child or an adopted child. Not to mention, (most) new dad are also adjusting physically to a new schedule and new demand in the household, which can affect ther ability to perform on the job. I think it is a good thing for both mom and dad to take the time to get used to the new baby and get into the new routine.

Sorry... my HR hat slipped on there for a minute...

unpaid....key word......who can afford unpaid time off these days? I think it is an atrocity that we do not value our families more!

dyannajoy

They already have that option here in Canaduh. Mat leave is 52 weeks paid (capped percentage of your prior income and your job must be held for you while you're gone. Men can take paternity leave but however many weeks they take is deducted from the mother's 52 weeks.

That's because yer a pack damn dirty commies!

This is such an ignorant view of Canada. We are FAR from being commies, we just take better care of our people! We happen to value life, health, family, and education, and we all pay to have these supports. Jealous? You should be, because we have all this AND FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY!!!

Pretty sure he was joking...

joke or not............it was a horrible thing to say.........as an American I apologize for the stupid people we seen to have in abundance in this country :embarassed:

cabaray

Women only get paid time off of work because of a medical disability (unless you work for the rare company that does offer "maternity" and "paternity" leave). Women do not get paid "maternity leave" in order to bond with the baby or to get used to a new routine, she gets paid time off to recover from a medical condition.

Lesley2800

My company gives 3 weeks of parental leave for fathers and 8 weeks to mothers. My husband took a week off to help and had to use vacation time -- I had a c-section and his help was awesome..I think 1 - 2 weeks would be good!