DO ALL MEN!! WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT

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  • wildside79
    wildside79 Posts: 46
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    TO ALL!!
    DO ALL MEN WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT AND WHY....You tell us that we are beautiful...but if we gain weight or have a baby...then you dont treat us the same anymore ....WHY?

    I care about my wife's weight. We were skinny together when we hooked up, we were skinny together after our first kid, we got fat together after the second kid. And those were a few miserable years for the both of us. Now I care because we're losing weight together, running together, have a lot more energy for "together" time, and we're a lot happier together. I hope (and believe) she cares about my weight as well.

    Frankly, we discussed our expectations, I asked her what she like and what I should focus on (shoulders and pecs), and I told her I appreciated a good set of abs and legs. We set reasonable expectations of each other and ourselves, and encourage each other to reach our goals.

    That all being said, if I decided I was done, I stopped working out, started eating like I was previously, and went back into slob mode, I shouldn't expect her to keep up working out 6 days a week on a caloric deficit diet or just maintenance. And if she wants to work out and look good, and I was back to watching tv, playing computer games and snacking 24/7, and a heart to heart didn't clear things up, then maybe she should treat me different to maybe kick start me back on the right track.

    That all being said, I don't know what the expectations are in your relationship, but in mine we discuss them, and try to make sure we're both doing a fair share of work (inside and outside the house) and with our physiques.

    I'm not a millionaire, I can't expect her to look like a 10 and me like a 3 and still keep her. Same goes vice-versa.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Yes, I care. The personality traits I like the most are ones that are good drivers for going to the gym and staying tone. A women who stops going to the gym and gains weight is going to have the physical results of a psychological change.

    believe it or not i sort of understand this- especially coming from a womans point of view...hmm, if you feel fat and gross- and notice all the hotties around and you notice your husband notices them-that would probably make you feel worse, especialy if you use to be one and let your self go...and then felt cruddy and unattractive- that would make your self esteem drop down, and make your personality change, and become unatractive, nagging, never want to do anything- neggative all the time- HATER... that would make you less attractive because you did it to your self...this I get.:wink: its possible- but it would be your own fault. the same would go if the rolls were reversed.:huh:
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    A guy says something about my weight, he's gone. Sorry. I'm a grown person. I don't need someone else to "be concerned" about my health for me. That's a BS excuse if there ever was one. Guys don't rush to involve themselves in the details of my menstrual cycle or migraines because they "care about me." They don't goad me to take my allergy pill every morning. Weight comments are about looks. A cover, in my opinion, for what he really wants to say which is, "you weigh half an ounce more than you did the day I met you, and I have infantile expectations of you always remaining the same."

    No thanks, no thanks.

    But FWIW, my parents have been together for almost 50 years. When they were dating as teenagers, my paternal grandma said (about my mom) "You know she's going to be big, right?" and my dad said straight up that he didn't care. He tells that story and laughs and says he really has never cared about her weight at all. Because he loves *her.* What a concept.

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