DO ALL MEN!! WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT

shaynak112

You need to find a better guy, I guess.

iAMsmiling

My wife put on 100 lbs in the first 14 years of our marriage and after 2 kids.
I didn't love her less, or want to be with her less, or think less of her.

However...it did affect our lives. She became very inactive. Her health went to hell and her low self esteem destroyed her desire to be intimate.

That weight is gone now and for a thousand reasons I couldn't be happier to see it go. So, as devoted to her as I am, and as much as I'd like to say I don't worry about her weight, truth is, I do.
To say I never worried about her weight is to say I never worried about her asthma, high blood pressure, back and leg pain and overall crappy quality of physical life.

LorinaLynn

That may be your man, but it's not men. Don't blame all of us for the actions of whatever insensitive *kitten* you're with. Wise up and start choosing better partners.

Mmmhmm.

I was about 125 when I met my husband, and he treated me like a supermodel. I was about 140 when we married, and he treated me like a supermodel. I was about 120 when I had a jaw problem and lost weight, and he treated me like a supermodel. I was about 160 after my parents died and depression made me gain weight, and he treated me like a supermodel.

Now, on the other hand, he treats me like a fitness model instead. :laugh:

trophywife24

Better looking women get better treatment from men. Plain and simple.

Truth.

I wouldn't say that my husband treated my poorly at all when I was at my heaviest. Our interaction with each other is different now, but I think it's more from my explosion of confidence, not that he's suddenly attracted to me when he wasn't before. Because I was suffering, I let our sex life and personal life go to hell with me. He's always been great to me, but I wasn't always so great to him. I think sometimes we don't see how our own personal struggles are taken out on other people. No one ate for me or sat on my butt for me.

It's like "why do men suck" day on MFP, geeze.

danasings

I think it's the men you have. I have been with my husband for 25 years (married for 23). When he met me I weighed 108 pounds. Throughout our marriage I have had 4 children and obviously my weight has been up and down. At my highest point I was just over 200 pounds. I currently hover between 135 and 140. My husband has never treated me any differently no matter what my weight was. If they truly love you, they aren't going to treat you different whether your fat or skinny.

Perfectly said. I've ranged from 222 (the day my first son was born) to my current weight 157...this is about what I weighed when my hubs and I met. Not a day has he treated me differently or loved me less. I expect that will remain the same when I reach my goal of 139, too.

It's not all men. And how you treat yourself makes ALL the difference.

BerryH

You might as well ask if all women type in capitals and punctuate strangely. Just because some individuals do, you can't apply the pattern to an entire gender.

LorinaLynn

Better looking women get better treatment from men. Plain and simple.

Not if you're talking about an a-hole. Rihanna, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Elizabeth Hurley, Sandra Bullock, Tina Turner, and so many other absolutely stunningly gorgeous women have been mistreated by men. And that's just the famous ones.

Don't excuse bad behavior. Ever.

katierechgomez

this pisses me off! why would you even consider being with someone unless you loved the person they are and not the one they could be if they just lost weight. I had a girl tell me once that I would be so hot if I lost some weight. so I lost the weight and then dumped her. I married my wife during her ugly duckling phase, as she calls it. I always thought she was beautiful and sure she has lost some weight and toned up a bit but I could really care less. it doesn't make a difference in who she really is. And in a lot of ways I'm the same guy I was 50 lbs ago and probably still will be after I loose the rest.

^^This...I feel truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband....I am married to my high school sweetheart--we have been together for over 11years, married for over 3years. Looking back at pics, I was definitely not very attractive when my hubby and I met in high school. I was actually pretty gross in my own personal opinion. But my hubby (then boyfriend) loved me anyway. I have gained and lost weight a lot over the years and he still treats me the same. He makes me feel attractive and beautiful all the time. He tells me I am sexy and how much he likes my body, booty...etc. I want to lose weight and get in better shape for ME. Although I know it will ultimately be better for my hubby because I will gain a lot more confidence which will benefit him. I know my hubby's weight has fluctuated, as well (not nearly as much as mine). I love my hubby no matter what. He will always be sexy to me because he treats me well, we have been through a lot together, he makes me laugh, I can always be myself around him--and he makes me SO HAPPY.
If your guy puts a lot of emphasis on your weight, then that is not a good situation. There will always be someone else out there who love you for YOU, not your body type.

sweetchildomine

"DO ALL MEN!!!"

"WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT!!!"

ok, I will! You don't have to yell at me

TylerJ76

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU YELL ALL THE TIME!!!!

wildside79

TO ALL!!
DO ALL MEN WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT AND WHY....You tell us that we are beautiful...but if we gain weight or have a baby...then you dont treat us the same anymore ....WHY?

I care about my wife's weight. We were skinny together when we hooked up, we were skinny together after our first kid, we got fat together after the second kid. And those were a few miserable years for the both of us. Now I care because we're losing weight together, running together, have a lot more energy for "together" time, and we're a lot happier together. I hope (and believe) she cares about my weight as well.

Frankly, we discussed our expectations, I asked her what she like and what I should focus on (shoulders and pecs), and I told her I appreciated a good set of abs and legs. We set reasonable expectations of each other and ourselves, and encourage each other to reach our goals.

That all being said, if I decided I was done, I stopped working out, started eating like I was previously, and went back into slob mode, I shouldn't expect her to keep up working out 6 days a week on a caloric deficit diet or just maintenance. And if she wants to work out and look good, and I was back to watching tv, playing computer games and snacking 24/7, and a heart to heart didn't clear things up, then maybe she should treat me different to maybe kick start me back on the right track.

That all being said, I don't know what the expectations are in your relationship, but in mine we discuss them, and try to make sure we're both doing a fair share of work (inside and outside the house) and with our physiques.

I'm not a millionaire, I can't expect her to look like a 10 and me like a 3 and still keep her. Same goes vice-versa.

imchicbad

Yes, I care. The personality traits I like the most are ones that are good drivers for going to the gym and staying tone. A women who stops going to the gym and gains weight is going to have the physical results of a psychological change.

believe it or not i sort of understand this- especially coming from a womans point of view...hmm, if you feel fat and gross- and notice all the hotties around and you notice your husband notices them-that would probably make you feel worse, especialy if you use to be one and let your self go...and then felt cruddy and unattractive- that would make your self esteem drop down, and make your personality change, and become unatractive, nagging, never want to do anything- neggative all the time- HATER... that would make you less attractive because you did it to your self...this I get. its possible- but it would be your own fault. the same would go if the rolls were reversed.:huh:

pudadough

A guy says something about my weight, he's gone. Sorry. I'm a grown person. I don't need someone else to "be concerned" about my health for me. That's a BS excuse if there ever was one. Guys don't rush to involve themselves in the details of my menstrual cycle or migraines because they "care about me." They don't goad me to take my allergy pill every morning. Weight comments are about looks. A cover, in my opinion, for what he really wants to say which is, "you weigh half an ounce more than you did the day I met you, and I have infantile expectations of you always remaining the same."

No thanks, no thanks.

But FWIW, my parents have been together for almost 50 years. When they were dating as teenagers, my paternal grandma said (about my mom) "You know she's going to be big, right?" and my dad said straight up that he didn't care. He tells that story and laughs and says he really has never cared about her weight at all. Because he loves *her.* What a concept.