DO ALL MEN!! WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT

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  • Connie1979
    Connie1979 Posts: 77 Member
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    I say if he is overly obsessed with you weight.....Do you really need or want them in your life.
  • vancil01
    vancil01 Posts: 70 Member
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    The funny thing about what you posted (not that what you might be going through is funny) but I notice a lot of times, that when people are in a relationship and one person is big.......the other one is just as big. I have also heard big people talking about other big people like they aren't a big at all! Humans are quite confusing sometimes.

    Honestly, it has been said a lot in here, if you are tired of feeling that way, then get with someone who cares about you and not what you look like. :)
  • babybluefire
    babybluefire Posts: 100 Member
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    Egh. Very hard for me to say. I met and married my spouse when I was a 12 and 160 pounds. 2 kids, fertility treatments and a hell of a lot of exercise I am a size 12 and 184 pounds. I look better now then when we married. However my spouse is very turned off by weight gain and pregnancy. He was not when we met, because guess what people change.


    I hate how people always say if your spouse or s/o treats you badly its your fault. Way to blame the victim. You can meet a guy and he can be a great person, for years even. Then throw marriage, children, a lot of living experience and stress into the mix and guess what. Not everyone is same.

    You're only a victim if you let yourself be one. It's dating/relationships. They're voluntary at all times. If you're with someone who isn't being good to you, you should work to fix it or leave them.

    Crazy advice I know. It's much healthier to maintain the relationship and ***** about it on the internet.

    I am not a victim nor will I ever be. Nor did I say my spouse was an abusive **** either. Way to project.

    What I am saying is that is not wonderful and easy to be in a tough or abusive relationship, nor is it easy at all to get out of one. Most abused women are victims and the abuser slowly but surely makes it extremely hard for them to leave. Family is cut off first, then finances and is some cases the family is moved long distances away from help. Then once the victim has left then they are in the most danger. Those women do not need more guilt and pressure put on them because they weren't strong enough to leave the instant things went bad.


    People change. That is fact. You can date or marry a great person and they are not the same 10 years down the road. I honestly think a lot of guys that fuss and ***** that women date only ******* well guys there is a reason you are single. And that reason is you not them.
  • Connie1979
    Connie1979 Posts: 77 Member
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    That may be your man, but it's not men. Don't blame all of us for the actions of whatever insensitive *kitten* you're with. Wise up and start choosing better partners.

    POW!! There it is!! I totally agree.
  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    Only if its crushing my pelvic bone! sorry bad joke
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
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    The only time I get concerned with weight is:

    A) When the woman I am with is concerned about her weight.... and then I usually say something stupid trying honestly to be supportive, like, " See that Burger King. Oh well."

    B) More seriously if it is becoming a health problem.

    If it was only for her looks......a hooker is cheaper.
  • Brown_Eyed_Beauty
    Brown_Eyed_Beauty Posts: 109 Member
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    My husband and I both gained weight while together (going on 8 years now) and I worry every day if what we look like is affecting us. I know I don't feel attractive which is my problem. He hasn't treated me any different except not really supporting me when I need it. But hes improving on it!!! I tend to nitpick so he gets frustrated.

    From my point of view it's both ways but we have to help each other, not put one another down. Our partners are supposed to make us want to be the best we can be.
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
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    How you are treated is the direct result of the quality of man you choose.
    No. How you are treated is the direct result of the [/b]WAY YOU TREAT YOURSELF.[/b] I was really surprised to see so many jump on the "dump the *kitten*" train as if increased weight doesn't bring any other changes along with it.

    I'd go so far as to say most women who gain a significant amount of weight also experience some level of change in the way they interact with people. When I was in my early twenties I was party girl extraordinaire & I don't recall feeling self-conscious about anything, ever. Years later at my highest weight (>300) I was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & I hated myself. What kind of guy would want a skinny person who was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & hated herself? So is weight REALLY the issue?

    No one will treat us better than we treat ourselves. If we put on weight & don't feel good about ourselves, we can't expect men in particular & people in general to treat us as if we're happy, confident & secure.

    *steps off soapbox*

    P.S. Swanny...in my twenties I DID try that first part. It was rather tiring.
  • tofindmyselfprettyagain
    tofindmyselfprettyagain Posts: 46 Member
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    You're only a victim if you let yourself be one. It's dating/relationships. They're voluntary at all times. If you're with someone who isn't being good to you, you should work to fix it or leave them.

    Crazy advice I know. It's much healthier to maintain the relationship and ***** about it on the internet.

    I am not a victim nor will I ever be. Nor did I say my spouse was an abusive **** either. Way to project.

    What I am saying is that is not wonderful and easy to be in a tough or abusive relationship, nor is it easy at all to get out of one. Most abused women are victims and the abuser slowly but surely makes it extremely hard for them to leave. Family is cut off first, then finances and is some cases the family is moved long distances away from help. Then once the victim has left then they are in the most danger. Those women do not need more guilt and pressure put on them because they weren't strong enough to leave the instant things went bad.


    People change. That is fact. You can date or marry a great person and they are not the same 10 years down the road. I honestly think a lot of guys that fuss and ***** that women date only ******* well guys there is a reason you are single. And that reason is you not them.

    I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    Not all men worry about weight. But then in my experience... At my heaviest weight, guys did care and I never had anyone talk to me but even at my smallest, guys still didn't talk to me. I have no answer to this. I wonder if they do or don't care about how much we weigh Lol
  • tofindmyselfprettyagain
    tofindmyselfprettyagain Posts: 46 Member
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    How you are treated is the direct result of the quality of man you choose.
    No. How you are treated is the direct result of the [/b]WAY YOU TREAT YOURSELF.[/b] I was really surprised to see so many jump on the "dump the *kitten*" train as if increased weight doesn't bring any other changes along with it.

    I'd go so far as to say most women who gain a significant amount of weight also experience some level of change in the way they interact with people. When I was in my early twenties I was party girl extraordinaire & I don't recall feeling self-conscious about anything, ever. At my highest weight (>300) I was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & I hated myself. What kind of guy would want a skinny person who was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & hated herself? So is weight REALLY the issue?

    No one will treat us better than we treat ourselves. If we put on weight & don't feel good about ourselves, we can't expect men in particular & people in general to treat us as if we're happy, confident & secure.

    *steps off soapbox*

    Also, this, so much.
  • SalishSea
    SalishSea Posts: 373 Member
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    My husband of 11 years has always been fine with me at any of my weights. He tells me I am looking great now after losing 25 pounds. He is very supportive.

    I imagine if I was single ( nooooooo!) men would be very particular about my physical appearance. Am I wrong in thinking most men (not all) want a hottie? At least in the beginning of a dating relationship.

    I have had many eye rolls, smirks, condescending comments from men that were related to my being 50 pounds over weight. At least that is how I read them. I have had the same impression coming from women too. But this thread was asking about men.
  • nessafly
    nessafly Posts: 58
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    Yuck! Walk away forever if this happens to you. Anyone who would treat you poorly for gaining weight is not the person who has your back!!! What if something worse than gaining some weight happened?!! There are tons of great people out there men & women, just dig a little deeper for a connection. You need someone who loves YOU not your body!!
  • stcar
    stcar Posts: 207 Member
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    It's not all men....I've dated both types...one who would point out my flaws and one who loved me either way (and actually preferred me curvy)! Time to look for a new man :)
  • Kell_Smurthwaite
    Kell_Smurthwaite Posts: 384 Member
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    I'm one of the lucky ones whose hubby loves me no matter what my size or shape. I'm not doing this for him - I'm doing it for me. :)

    He actually prefers me with "a bit of meat" on me and at my slimmest I was the smallest woman he'd ever dated by a long shot. Even now I'm not as big as his ex fiance was their entire relationship. Don't get me wrong - he's not a feeder or a chubby chaser either, he just doesn't judge a person by their size, which is rather a relief, to be honest. His way of approaching it is as long as I'M happy, then he's more than happy. He knows I'm not happy with my body and health the way it is so he's happy for me that I'm doing something about it and is being very supportive and encouraging.

    Not all men treat their other halves badly if they get bigger. My hubby actually treats me even better than he ever did since I had our son - he was just so amazed by what my body is capable of doing it kind of put him into a state of awe and appreciation, so even though 3 weeks ago I was at my biggest ever, he's never stopped loving me or found me unnattrative or unsexy (at least that's what he tells me, and he certainly seems to have difficulty keeping his hands off me - LOL!).
  • babybluefire
    babybluefire Posts: 100 Member
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    I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.



    Seriously why is everyone assuming my spouse is a abusive jerk? All I have said is he does not like pregnancy and weight gain. Just because he does not like something does not make him a horrible person. Your spouse is suppose to love and support you. They do not have to support a crappy lifestyle and terrible eating habits.
  • tofindmyselfprettyagain
    tofindmyselfprettyagain Posts: 46 Member
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    I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.



    Seriously why is everyone assuming my spouse is a abusive jerk? All I have said is he does not like pregnancy and weight gain. Just because he does not like something does not make him a horrible person. Your spouse is suppose to love and support you. They do not have to support a crappy lifestyle and terrible eating habits.

    I never said your husband was abusive. The only thing about abuse I mentioned was your out of place rant about women stuck in abusive relationships.
  • Psychoanalytic
    Psychoanalytic Posts: 261
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    How you are treated is the direct result of the quality of man you choose.
    No. How you are treated is the direct result of the [/b]WAY YOU TREAT YOURSELF.[/b] I was really surprised to see so many jump on the "dump the *kitten*" train as if increased weight doesn't bring any other changes along with it.

    I'd go so far as to say most women who gain a significant amount of weight also experience some level of change in the way they interact with people. When I was in my early twenties I was party girl extraordinaire & I don't recall feeling self-conscious about anything, ever. Years later at my highest weight (>300) I was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & I hated myself. What kind of guy would want a skinny person who was introverted, antisocial, insecure, & hated herself? So is weight REALLY the issue?

    No one will treat us better than we treat ourselves. If we put on weight & don't feel good about ourselves, we can't expect men in particular & people in general to treat us as if we're happy, confident & secure.

    *steps off soapbox*

    P.S. Swanny...in my twenties I DID try that first part. It was rather tiring.

    I partially agree with this and partially don't. How you are treated is the direct result of the quality of man you choose is a direct relation to how you treat yourself because if you're going to hold yourself up to the highest standard (which everyone SHOULD no matter what the case may be) you won't be dating a d-bag to begin with ;) Weight does bring other changes, but that's also a direct result of how you allow yourself to be treated...by yourself. If someone has a confidence issue or whatever the case may be, that's still their own fault for not accepting themselves or seeing themselves for whatever kind of awesomeness they may have.
  • babybluefire
    babybluefire Posts: 100 Member
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    I seriously think there is a huge difference between "My guy treats me like **** because my weight changed." and "My guy beats me nearly to death and I'm too scared to leave." You're jumping to extremes, and it is pointless. And though people do change, and maybe your guy wasn't like this before, but it is YOUR fault it hasn't changed. Complaining on the internet isn't going to change the fact you're with a jerk, only YOU can.



    Seriously why is everyone assuming my spouse is a abusive jerk? All I have said is he does not like pregnancy and weight gain. Just because he does not like something does not make him a horrible person. Your spouse is suppose to love and support you. They do not have to support a crappy lifestyle and terrible eating habits.

    I never said your husband was abusive. The only thing about abuse I mentioned was your out of place rant about women stuck in abusive relationships.

    I'm sorry then. I know several women in process of leaving really terrible relationships. The abuse in all cases does include physical and emotional abuse. The womens weight and appearance is often used against her emotionally. It is very hard for me to hear any blame the victim type talk, even concerning not violent abuse and not get really really pissed off and freakishly over protective.
  • mattkellett
    mattkellett Posts: 82
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    TO ALL!!
    DO ALL MEN WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT AND WHY....You tell us that we are beautiful...but if we gain weight or have a baby...then you dont treat us the same anymore ....WHY?

    not all of us!, remember that women do the same to men (dont say you dont) I love my wife no matter her size, but love her enough to not let her gain weight.

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