Kids Are Weird

Crying_In_Color

What is the strangest thing you have had to say to your children?

Your brother does not want to eat your boogies.
Do not take your pants off in the car.
Worms do not live in your teeth.

IdRatherBeReading

You mean like "Stop licking the wall!" and "Get your sister's foot out of your mouth!" haha Kids are crazy sometimes

robot_potato

There are no birds in your bedroom. Go to sleep.
Don't lick your sister! Thats not how dinosaurs kiss.

leadoff

My wife and I were at a friend's birthday party this weekend. Our little girl (soon to be 3) was having the time of her life running around and playing with all the other kids. At one point, I noticed her in the middle of the room taking her pants off. I ran over to get her as all the partygoers laughed at her antics. I just had to laugh and say, "It's not a real party until somebody takes their pants off!" Kids.....

I proceeded to have a talk with her that, while it is fine and dandy to run around at home in your panties, it is not nice to take your pants off while in public.

heresmyinsidevoice

"No, I cannot pull a motorcycle cookie out of my bum. Don't ever say that again."
"Stop licking the dog's fur. You can't clean his paws the way he does."
"That's not what they mean on Blue's Clues when they say, 'we can do anything that we want to do.' "

Lissakaye81

This is a conversation I witnessed between my cousin and a kid she was babysitting. My cousin's middle kid suffers from eczema, very serious case and has had many problems and been hospitalized from it. Well the kid she was babysitting asked "whats an erection?" My cousin told him "its when boy parts get hard". the kid was like "how come Cody got hosptitalized for a erection?" I told my cousin, I think he asked "whats an infection?" I laughed so hard. Specially when the mother came to pick up her kid and my cousin had to tell the mom she explained an erection by accident.

zinok

I was visiting a friend and her 5 year old daughters decided they liked me. They were running around the living room being "apples" (which is wtf in itself) yelling "eat me! I'm an apple!" so I'd chase them and make "omnomnom" sounds.

I love children. They say and do the most adorable things.

IdRatherBeReading

This is a conversation I witnessed between my cousin and a kid she was babysitting. My cousin's middle kid suffers from eczema, very serious case and has had many problems and been hospitalized from it. Well the kid she was babysitting asked "whats an erection?" My cousin told him "its when boy parts get hard". the kid was like "how come Cody got hosptitalized for a erection?" I told my cousin, I think he asked "whats an infection?" I laughed so hard. Specially when the mother came to pick up her kid and my cousin had to tell the mom she explained an erection by accident.

LOL!! Oh my

BriskaPacojame

- "Stop saying I'm farting!", in public, of course *sigh* lol

fergie2812

I like the fact its getting warmer so I can tell my girls that the ice cream van only plays a tune to tell you its run out of ice cream. he he BAD MUMMY!!!!

sjmgde

This is a conversation I witnessed between my cousin and a kid she was babysitting. My cousin's middle kid suffers from eczema, very serious case and has had many problems and been hospitalized from it. Well the kid she was babysitting asked "whats an erection?" My cousin told him "its when boy parts get hard". the kid was like "how come Cody got hosptitalized for a erection?" I told my cousin, I think he asked "whats an infection?" I laughed so hard. Specially when the mother came to pick up her kid and my cousin had to tell the mom she explained an erection by accident.

my son use to say erections when talking about directins...could not get the word diwn. thankfully he grew out ofthat

k8blujay2

*lol* Mine can't talk yet... but I know words are just on the tip of her tongue... I can't wait for the kidisms to start... life is going to be so interesting then...

p0pr0cksnc0ke

My daughter has accused me of farting in a store on more than one ocassion. "MOM. I know you tooted.. now.. STOP IT"
She is 4 going on 15.

monkeymomof3

Just recently I've had to repeatedly tell my almost 3yo to stop licking the dog. I've had to tell my 8 yo (when he gets naked to get in the shower) to stop swinging his penis around (seriously, on purpose and thinks its hilarious!). And on St. Pattys day I thanked my kids for behaving so well at dinner (out to eat) and my 5yo told me he'd send me a bill! Lol....

cygnetpro

My son had absolutely horrified look on his face when I told him that peanut butter is made from crushed up peanuts.

"No, not 'penis'. PEANUTS!" Poor kid.

poustotah

My daughter - when she was 2 - to my dad while potty training: "Poppy, I peesed on floor." To which my dad says, "why did you do that?" Daughter, "I don't know but oh *kitten*!"

Oops!

EpiGaiaRepens

my son was with me on a dr's appointment. The dr. asked me if I was sexually active. Thinking my son wasn't paying attention (he was playing video games or something) I said "yes."

Then my son started shouting "MOM!!! YOU'RE HAVING SEX AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!??!"

...yeah. That really happened.

Tashry

"Stop eating your little brother with a fork. Use a spoon!"

I didn't think baby brother needed plastic fork tines poked at him by his 3 year old brother who was play eating him. The spoon was much more delicate. lol

rextcat

"THERE IS NO KUNG FU IN THE BATH TUB!!!!"

lniffa

bump for a good read later.

misslolachobble

hahahhah this thread is hilarious .:laugh: :laugh:

Kandygirl

my daughter told me that she was wearing invisible underwear the other day when i asked her why she didn't have any on. but this is the same 4 year old that came home from preschool and told me that preschool was done wonders for her social life.

TheCats_Meow

Yesterday, my son was throwing a ball @ the wall and it was getting kinda close to our clock.

Before I could say anything my daughter said:

"Christian, stop throwing that ball! You're gonna hit the c-o-c-k!"

She left out the L in clock and said c-o-c-k instead!

I had to walk out of the room! :laugh:

monroe61

I'm constantly telling my 11 month to stop "kissing" the dogs because all he does is open his mouth and dogs lick in there...yuck!! But I had to do that with my daughter when she was little too. I try to explain that we don't tongue kiss the doggies...eww!!

My 5 year old says the most random things though and it's hilarious. We took her to BK (a while ago) and she proceeded to inform me that a hamburger is a "killed cow" and her milk is a "squeezed cow" How do they come up with these things!!!

Gwendalyne

I had to tell my two year old that He is not a chicken head, despite what his brother tells him. LOL

JennieAL

My husband's 2 little nieces come over and spend the night on occasion, and we pretended to be cats once... they LOVE it and want to be cats every single time now, and hiss and play and fight with one another... fun stuff! I take pics of them as "cats" and email them their pics later

MenaMena

Stop sniffing people and stop licking your sister. Crazy kids in my house for sure.

Jenn728

"Stay out of the oven!"

My kids were playing hide and seek and when my daughter looked at the oven, I knew what was on her mind. She was 7 at the time.

chubby_checkers

*snip*

I've had to tell my 8 yo (when he gets naked to get in the shower) to stop swinging his penis around (seriously, on purpose and thinks its hilarious!).

I don't think they outgrow this.

xo_morgan

I had to tell my two year old that He is not a chicken head, despite what his brother tells him. LOL

i literally laughed out loud @ this one!:laugh:

Sjvarley123

what a funny thread!

funniest thing i can think of saying to my son - 'no i will not lick your bum ! '

he had been watching lion king where simba gets a lick on his rump from his mum! ( he was about 2 1/2 at the time, but we were staying in a hotel, dread to think if anyone in the next room heard :laugh: