Kids Are Weird

angela2084

My son used to call his overalls overbras and pancakes were pantycakes. He is almost 15 and I still make pantycakes for him a couple times a month. Needless to say, it mortifies him. He's the conservative one in the family.

Kaylee_law_123

While bra shopping with my 4 year old step son ... "Your things are much bigger than my mommies ... they're huge"

There was lots of giggles from other change rooms!!!

walkwithme1

Anytime I have something for my almost 4 year old to do, playing with toys, cleaning up, eating, his response is:

it's to boring for me.....
What? How is any of this boring and how does he even know that word?

cressievargo

When my oldest was in preschool I picked him up one day, instead of letting him ride the bus home like usual. He was so upset. He actually said, "You ruined my life!"

He is 7 now and comes up with some of the most bizarre questions / stories.

Today I was trying to get my 2 yr old to get his shoes. "Get your shoes." "No." (Repeat several times). Me: "You need to stop telling me no. Now go get your shoes". Him: "No no." Then I told him, "We have to go pick up your brother." 2 yr old, "No! He ride bus!" (Which normally he does!) Then I asked "Do you even know how to say yes?" He responds, "Yes!"....

_VoV

Oh yes, and when my son was about five:

"....and on the 6th day, God created potatoes. It took him that long to come up with a vegetable worth eating."

mbw2586

Anytime I have something for my almost 4 year old to do, playing with toys, cleaning up, eating, his response is:

it's to boring for me.....
What? How is any of this boring and how does he even know that word?

:laugh: :laugh: Our 4 year olds must have attended the same class!

NavyKnightAh13

as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.

He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.

"Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"

uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.

No problem.

To son : where?

"You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "

Yes, I said leery....

"When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"

Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."

I shared this with my husband, and we both laughed so hysterically.....only God knows what our son is going to say when he starts talking.....the weirdest thing my mom would say to me: "babies come from a cabbage patch!"

sgault11

When my sister was little she use to believe that babies were pooped out!! And then she proceeded to bend over and threw her barbie doll back through her legs... loloololol

Another favorite of mine that has stuck with me through out the years is this one time we convinced my sister that all Amish males were named Amos!!

ummlovelovesyou

lol these are all hilarious :laugh:

TheMaidOfAstolat

Bump to read later...the first page cracked me up.

_VoV

"A kangaroo is not licking your hand" (said a zillion times in response to the same nightmare my daughter used to have).

Interesting children you have.

I know--you would think we lived in Africa. I sometimes wonder if it was the dog licking some food scent off her hand at night!

ElectricMayhem

I like the fact its getting warmer so I can tell my girls that the ice cream van only plays a tune to tell you its run out of ice cream. he he BAD MUMMY!!!!

you are my new hero!!! totally using this one :laugh:

takehimaway

"Your eyes do not make you look like a girl."

Side note, as a gender variant person, I think that my eyes are the biggest dead giveaway that I was assigned female at birth! ;x

ElectricMayhem

There is this song by Sophie B. Hawkins called "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover." When my nephew was 2 he used to sing it as "Bam I worship your Mother." I still sing it like that to this day.

ok this made me snort-laugh- thanks for that! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

trijoe

My 9yo daughter just started wearing a training bra. One of her 7yo sisters refers to it as her "boobie holder." What's a dad to say?

"Put the poop back in the toilet! I'll look at it there!" Dad said as he pondered fetching a beer first...
"Quit licking your juice up off the floor!"
"Wipe your own butt - it's YOUR butt, YOU wipe it!" Dad said as he pondered fetching another beer...
"Why can't we have one - just one - bath time without somebody pooping or peeing in the tub?"

Any question that starts with "What do you mean..." and ends with repeating something a child just said, is headed straight toward disaster. Some examples:
"What do you mean you pooped on the bus and didn't know what to do with it?"
"What do you mean you stuck a pencil up your nose and only part of it came back out?"
"What do you mean your sisters dumped the bottle of couch medicine on the table and licked it up with their hands?"

foodfight247

Ok, gonna have to stop reading til later, as I'm trying soooooo hard not to lol in front of customers! Thank goodness it's nearly home time! Lol!

zenchild

I don't have kids but I figured this belonged here.
I worked at PetSmart for 14 years. Most of that time I worked in "male" stores. Stores will only carry one gender of small animal as a precaution against breeding. About once a week, I would have a kid come running up to me and exclaiming that a hamster was giving birth and they knew because it looked just like it did when their own hamster gave birth. I would dutifully walk over to the habitat where the parents would be standing proudly, thinking how very observant their offspring was. Every single time, it was a male hamster, sleeping with his, um, male bits smashed up against the glass. Every time I would have to explain that the pinkish blob (hamsters are very well-endowed) was not a baby hamster but was proof that that particular hamster would never give birth. "Well, um, actually, that's not a baby hamster coming out. He's a boy hamster." Pause, hoping the parents would jump in. "Those are his boy parts."

posesed

I love some of the lyrics my kids have come up with but the winner is when my son was 3 Saliva's song Click,Click,Boom became Cluck,Cluck,Moo!

Sometimes auto correct doesn't help lol

VivianRosie

So funny! Saving this for my laughter medicine!

SnakeDarling

I love some of the lyrics my kids have come up with but the winner is when my son was 3 Saliva's song Click,Click,Boom became Cluck,Cluck,Moo!

Sometimes auto correct doesn't help lol

Haha
My brother used to sing We Will Rock You
"We will, We will WHERE ArE YOU ?!"

BAMFMeredith

"Don't lick the dog" is one I regularly have to say to my 5 year old...

And he recently lost his 2 bottom front teeth and I got all excited and told him the tooth fairy would come visit while he was sleeping and take his teeth that he leaves under the pillow and then leave him some money. He just looked at me very seriously and said "I don't like fairies, they are for girls. Can Lightning McQueen give me money?"

So in our house, Lightning McQueen takes your teeth that fell out and leaves you money.

He also regularly tells me I need to go to the store and get some more money so I can buy him more toys.

dragonbait0126

The conversation took place between my best friend and her daughter who is now 12 but was about 6 at the time:

A: Mom can you buy m this toy please?
L: No.
A: Why not?
L: I don't have the money to buy it.
A: Can't you just go tot he ATM and get more?

Because you know, the ATM will just give you money when you need it.

raevynn

Our other twin, Andy, was upstairs in his room... and, we heard this thundering rumbling noise.

"Are you playing soccer up there?"

"Yes"

"With a bowling ball?"

"I'll stop"

_VoV

When my kids were around five, they constantly pretended to be cats.

Me: "Stop acting like cats. You're upsetting the real cats."