Kids Are Weird

Options
1356

Replies

  • alias1001
    alias1001 Posts: 634 Member
    Options
    My son had absolutely horrified look on his face when I told him that peanut butter is made from crushed up peanuts.

    "No, not 'penis'. PEANUTS!" Poor kid.

    Haha. Freud would love that one.



    I once I asked my mother how elephants picked their nose. I think she said with a tree branch.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Options
    When my son was 3, he saw a giant clock hanging from the ceiling at a local mexican restaurant and screamed, "look at that big c0ck!" Totally forgot the L but the entire family was crying with laughter.

    Now he is 4 and I've been saying over and over, "quit spanking your butt!" He thinks it's hilarious to spank himself..Especially in front of other people.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,791 Member
    Options
    If I have to come in there, I'm gonna fill the room with uppercuts.
  • AngelicaDulas
    AngelicaDulas Posts: 196
    Options
    Hahah these are all great! My goddaughter (who is 3) was dancing around the living room, twirling on one foot. I asked her if she was a pretty princess, because she surely danced like one. She runs over and says, "NO!! I not a peesiss, I's the big DADDY DRAGON!! Peesissis get EATEN!!" HAHAHAHHAha I about fell off the couch! Where do they come up with this stuff?
  • monkeymomof3
    monkeymomof3 Posts: 107 Member
    Options

    *snip*

    I've had to tell my 8 yo (when he gets naked to get in the shower) to stop swinging his penis around (seriously, on purpose and thinks its hilarious!).

    I don't think they outgrow this.

    No I have seen grown men doing that. It is like..really it didn't fall off.



    Lol...awesome!! I have had to tell both my boys before that's "it's still there and you can stop checking" when they grab themselves in public....never noticed the hubby doing it though, lol.....

    These are seriously hilarious though and I am SO glad that my children have never screamed "****" while in public!!!
  • vettle
    vettle Posts: 621 Member
    Options
    oh this is so funny - I don't have kids but I can't wait until I do so I can hear these zingers!
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
    Options

    *snip*

    I've had to tell my 8 yo (when he gets naked to get in the shower) to stop swinging his penis around (seriously, on purpose and thinks its hilarious!).

    I don't think they outgrow this.

    They definitely don't.
  • ki4yxo
    ki4yxo Posts: 709 Member
    Options
    When my son was 5 I had to tell him to
    "DROP THAT URINAL CAKE!!!!" The thing
    is, he didn't know what a urinal cake was
    and just looked at me like a deer caught
    in headlights! Probably thought it was a
    pink cookie, I'm just glad he didn't try to eat it.

    After I told my wife, she scrubbed his hands
    for a good 1/2 hour with anti-bacterial lotion,
    and hot soapy & water.
  • tinkermommc
    tinkermommc Posts: 562 Member
    Options
    oh my...My son is autistic and leaves me saying the craziest things!

    Your sister is not food.
    Put your pants back on and finish your snack.

    Those were just yesterday, we'll see what today has in store!
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
    Options
    bump
  • jenna_scott
    jenna_scott Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    I have been known on more than one occasion to tell my son's that they have to stay with me in the store because they are very cute and someone may steal them, that if they were ugly they could wander around by themselves because nobody would want them. So we are in the store having the usual stay with Mommy argument, and about 5 minutes later and there is this little girl about 8 walking a long distance ahead of her mother and my 6 year old (who was almost five at the time) said very loudly "Look Mom there is an ugly girl that nobody wants.” - Good times good times.
  • darkknightfan
    darkknightfan Posts: 396 Member
    Options
    one of my kids came out of the bed room with a couple tennis balls under her shirt.. Marches up to me and says "look dad I look like Aunt (name omitted to protect the "innocent") " Aunt "omitted" is less than "endowed" and was horrified when I told her about it ..Needless to say i got a good laugh though.
  • lad323
    lad323 Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    one of my kids came out of the bed room with a couple tennis balls under her shirt.. Marches up to me and says "look dad I look like Aunt (name omitted to protect the "innocent") " Aunt "omitted" is less than "endowed" and was horrified when I told her about it ..Needless to say i got a good laugh though.

    While shopping my 3 year old shouts "I want to have big bobbies, not little bobbies like you mommy."
  • JGT2004
    JGT2004 Posts: 231 Member
    Options
    I like the fact its getting warmer so I can tell my girls that the ice cream van only plays a tune to tell you its run out of ice cream. he he BAD MUMMY!!!!

    I love this and need to remember it. My best friends parents told her you have to be 18 or older to go inside Toy's R Us. She grew up in a small town without one and actually was 18 before she went inside one!
  • Munque
    Munque Posts: 123
    Options
    Not me, but a friend of mine, sounds terrible, but I almost peed myself laughing so hard.

    My friend is giving her 3-4 year old a bath, we are standing in the doorway talking, so we can see her, but not really paying attention, then I look over and she's has one of her toys and she's trying to put it in her.. ahem... girly bits. So my friend spins around, grabs the toy, and tells her daughter, "it's not a pocket sweety" OMG, so wrong, but so funny.
  • hollyberry2012
    hollyberry2012 Posts: 253
    Options
    My nephew was used to getting swatted on the behind with the flyswatter that my sister kept on top of the fridge for just such a purpose. She would just have to 'go toward it' and he straightened right up.

    Well one day she pulled it down to kill a spider on the carpet, and my nephew squatted down beside her and said,

    "Mama, why you spankin' dat ant?"

    hehehe
  • MissO﹠A
    MissO﹠A Posts: 906 Member
    Options
    Mine's 4.

    "Don't paint with boogers."

    "It's only poop. No need to cry over it."

    "Do you have a bone sticking out of your body?" ... "No." ... "Are you bleeding profusely?" ... "What does 'profusely' mean, mommy?" ... "Is the house on fire?" ... "No." ... "Then don't interrupt when I'm on the damn phone."

    One of her recent ones, which made me laugh uncontrollably (after feeding her an under-ripe banana on accident), "My teeth feel like paper towels!"
  • SnakeDarling
    SnakeDarling Posts: 352 Member
    Options
    My 8 year old brother always finds a way to sneak my weight into a conversation :p

    "Hey, sis! When you get skinny, maybe you can learn how to ride a bike"
    orrrr
    "Maybe when you lose weight, we can go to the mall!"

    He doesn't realize that weight doesn't have to do with either of those things x)

    So I started telling him that when he gets as tall as me, we can go out to eat.
  • hollyberry2012
    hollyberry2012 Posts: 253
    Options
    as for my own son, when he was 6, we were in the drive thru at Burger King.

    He says to me, Mama, I've been thinking and thinking and I think I figured out where babies come from.

    "Welcome to Burger KIng! May I take your order?"

    uhh..hang on just a minute ma'am.

    No problem.

    To son : where?

    "You know those ball thingies under the doodle (penis) ? "

    Yes, I said leery....

    "When you get married, you give one to your wife, she eats it and that's the egg that grows in the tummy right??"

    Burger King Lady: "Ready when you are."
  • JGT2004
    JGT2004 Posts: 231 Member
    Options
    My son is 6 and currently going through a gross phase... where it is funny to burp and fart and the worst is... he won't wipe his butt when he goes #2. I have to constantly remind him or check on him when he is in the bathroom. Boys can be so gross.

    Edit: And yes he is potty trained has been since 3. This problem has only developed in the last 2 months or so.

Categories