attraction

felice03
felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
the age old good vs evil....bad boy vs nice guy...do nice guys (or girls) really finish last?

I will admit I fall for the bad boy everytime...I need the fight and opposition. why is that??
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Replies

  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    I love me some nerds! I fall for the bad guy every.single.time. also. I always want to fix them, or don't know they are "bad boys" until it's over and done with
  • Indy_Mario
    Indy_Mario Posts: 532 Member
    This is so frustrating, specially when you're the "nice" boy and can't do nothing about it...
  • LuckyAng
    LuckyAng Posts: 1,173 Member
    For me (long ago when I was single), the attraction was the challenge that I could somehow fix them. It's utter BS, and was a huge waste of my time. I've been with my nice guy for 18 & 1/2 years now.
  • LifeOnMars_
    LifeOnMars_ Posts: 720 Member
    I like the nice guys!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Meh... bad boys are way too much work... and I'm too lazy to fix them either... I love my ornery piece of work, that is a combination of Leonard and Howard from the Big Bang theory... mixed in with a bit of a grease monkey... without all the pain of dealing with a bad boy.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 713 Member
    I usually fall for the bad boys... after years of this and let downs and heartache, I gave a nice guy a try. Lasted about 9 months but there was alot missing. Just couldnt stay interested. Soooo I found an inbetween guy. Let the good times roll! We have our bad time but mostly have good ones!
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    yes angie, I need an inbetweener lol....someone who wont let me walk all over them but isn't a douche....where can I pick one of those up????
  • LifeOnMars_
    LifeOnMars_ Posts: 720 Member
    yes angie, I need an inbetweener lol....someone who wont let me walk all over them but isn't a douche....where can I pick one of those up????

    That's pretty much what I have. I met him at work. We will be married for 2 years in April! ;)
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Bad boys bring too much drama. I'm not willing to deal with it.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 713 Member
    yes angie, I need an inbetweener lol....someone who wont let me walk all over them but isn't a douche....where can I pick one of those up????


    I fount mine at the BAR! hahahaha!

    (actually he was a friend of mines friend, we got introduced at the bar one night)
  • Minnie92x
    Minnie92x Posts: 107
    Always the good guy!!
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    Bad boys are usually more confident, women like confidence.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    My theory...

    Many women desire in a relationship to feel protected,feminine even "girly".
    The so called bad boy (who is really a jerk) fits that attraction.
    Even though in their mind they say they want a decent person the lure for one acting like the king of the hill is too much.

    Eventually they discover,sometimes way too late,that an *kitten* is and will always be an *kitten*.
    If you have to use the word "but" to describe a guy (He is often a jerk BUT is sweet to me) then you have an issue.
  • SnakeDarling
    SnakeDarling Posts: 352 Member
    I'm not picky and quite shy.
    Jerks are typically more outgoing and will walk up to you and hit on you.
    Nice guys just don't do that, and I don't like doing the approaching.

    So normally, I just assume that the nice guys that I like aren't interested in me.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    yes angie, I need an inbetweener lol....someone who wont let me walk all over them but isn't a douche....where can I pick one of those up????

    This is what I need!
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    ok, backstory time...gone out with a guy a couple times...super nice, I don't think he could argue with someone to save his life, agrees with everything I say...drives me INSANE!!!! I would be so bored staying with him...does the "bad boy element" add a spark to the realtionship, i think it does.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I thought I fell for a good church boy (my ex husband) and instead got a bad boy (serial cheater).

    I just want a damn medium!
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    Guess I'm a hybrid of those definitions , I have my moments of both
  • jrsey86
    jrsey86 Posts: 186 Member
    I used to date a lot of bad boys. I loved them, but they hurt me. A lot. Well, duh. They're bad boys. After a while, it loses its appeal. For me, I liked their confidence. Unfortunately, I found it wasn't as much confidence as false bravado...

    I'm with a nice guy now. The two guys I dated before him were nice guys. I love nice guys!!!!!!!! Nice guys give you hugs, tell you they love you, bring you flowers, think of you before themselves, and actually make an effort to see you smile. In short, a nice guy is the person you wished so hard that your bad boy exs would have been.

    Oh, and nice DOES NOT equal boring. Nice guys will surprise you.

    Always, always, ALWAYS go for the nice guys. :smooched:
  • LuckyAng
    LuckyAng Posts: 1,173 Member
    There's a difference between confident and cocky. Confidence is sexy and has nothing to do with being a 'bad boy'. Cockiness is UGLY.
  • alias1001
    alias1001 Posts: 634 Member
    I like them drama-free. :)

    And not super skinny. Eek.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I wouldn't say nice girls or guys FINISH last. I would say we start out that way, but with time and maturity, most of us finally come to realize that the commitment phobes and emotional trainwrecks are no good for us.

    For the record, my definition of a "nice guy" isn't one who is meek and timid and boring and lets women get away with treating him like garbage. To me, a "nice guy" (I actually prefer the term "good man") is one who is honest, has a solid work ethic, respects himself, and treats others the way he expects to be treated.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    ok, backstory time...gone out with a guy a couple times...super nice, I don't think he could argue with someone to save his life, agrees with everything I say...drives me INSANE!!!! I would be so bored staying with him...does the "bad boy element" add a spark to the realtionship, i think it does.

    Get rid of your concept that a nice guy is someone who has no convictions,that is not a nice guy that is either someone that thinks they have to suck up for you to like them or a doormat by nature in every matter.

    Look for a guy that is polite,courteous,caring,responsible,intelligent and so on and that is the nice person or whatever name someone wants to call it.
  • jrsey86
    jrsey86 Posts: 186 Member
    For the record, my definition of a "nice guy" isn't one who is meek and timid and boring and lets women get away with treating him like garbage. To me, a "nice guy" (I actually prefer the term "good man") is one who is honest, has a solid work ethic, respects himself, and treats others the way he expects to be treated.

    THIS!!!!! x infinity. Well said.
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I like a nice guy who knows when it is time to be "bad". :devil:
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Young girls date bad boys because it's exciting, dramatic and (unfortunately), there seems to be nothing sexier than someone who is treating you like *kitten* or who ignores you.

    That is, until you SERIOUSLY get sick of it and learn that it's not fun. Then you date the nice guys, settle down and get married. :)

    Honestly, I think dating jerks and a*holes is just an unconscious way of saying you're not ready to be really serious about someone. You unconsciously sabotage yourself or pick people you know it won't work out with. But who knows. I may be totally full of it.
  • memcd911
    memcd911 Posts: 230 Member
    Grey area.

    There's nearly always a grey area.

    As long as a man doesn't remind me of a doormat, child, or puppy, I have no problem with him being nice.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    I like a nice guy who knows when it is time to be "bad". :devil:


    lol...THIS.IS.WHAT.I.NEED!

    I agree that maybe this current guy is more of the doormat type and maybe that is it...I am lumping "nice guy" and "pushover" into the same category.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 713 Member
    ok, backstory time...gone out with a guy a couple times...super nice, I don't think he could argue with someone to save his life, agrees with everything I say...drives me INSANE!!!! I would be so bored staying with him...does the "bad boy element" add a spark to the realtionship, i think it does.


    Is this the farmer?
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
    I suppose I would consider myself a 'nice guy'. Could that be one of the reasons why I've always been single? Never really thought about the bad vs good guy thing too deeply.
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