attraction

10acity

Bad boys are usually more confident, women like confidence.

This is exactly it.

Yup. Confidence is intoxicatingly sexy, and it's not taught well anymore. I don't know if it's just our culture of irresponsibility or that men are afraid of being labeled "sexist" or what, but it sucks being 30 and single when you have no interest in a fratboy/manchild-- that pretty much leaves no one. I don't want to be disrespected, but I also don't want to constantly wish he'd grow a set.

(I mostly have a problem meeting men like this who are single.

ster81

Nice guys finish last because they wait for their woman to come! =P

felice03

Nice guys finish last because they wait for their woman to come! =P

WINNER!!!!!!!

kealambert

Nice guys finish last because they wait for their woman to come! =P

double entendre!

NeedANewFocus

such an interesting thread....

zinok

For me it's not the bad boy or the nice guy.
It's the nerd.
Seriously, quote Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica and I'm yours. Oh, wait, a boy already did, and I'm his. xD

onequirkygirl

What's not to like?

I personally go for the "rough around the edges" type. I'm going to clarify what that means because I don't mean "unrefined."

Like sharp, off the wall, cutting and cunning-- just brilliantly so.

sew1222

mine is the bad boy type too! my ex husband was i guess you can say "bad boy" to a point but he was also a F-tard too. so after 13yrs of him not changing to not be such a F-tard i had to call it quits...but i found me another "bad boy" but one that has his crap together and that i guess you can call a inbetweener!!! so i got my bad boy teddy bear :blushing:

i_love_vinegar

NICE GUYS!

I hate "bad boys"

My boyfriend does wrestling/boxing/hunting etc so he's manly, but also very sweet and nice :smooched: He makes me feel cherished and I can trust that he won't hurt me and I don't have to wonder what he is feeling or thinking because he tells/shows me, even though I sometimes have difficulty expressing my love. Actually, I am really lucky to have him :ohwell: My wonderful nice boy

ihateroses

Its not about bad boys vs nice guys its confidence vs no confidence...

...just so happens "bad boys" usually have more confidence (sad days)

amymt10

I went for the nice guy! Together for 9yrs, married for 7 with two handsome boys

paigemarie93

I like bad guys with a heart

TheFitHooker

Had this discussion with my husband, he said that he use to be a very nice guy, (he is now to me haha) but a girl he tried to go out with wouldn't give him the time of day, and he asked her why, and she told him "You are to nice." from then he started to be a jerk. I was attracted to his jerkyness lol. (is that a word?) Well we got married, and I got older, and told him that I'm no longer that girl he dated, and we were married and he had me so he could lose the bad boy attitude. Now he is a a nice guy, and I am more attracted to that now. He spoils me and wears me on his arm like the purest of gold.

Matt_Wild

I don't care if they are good or bad. As long as they pay me attention, can't keep their hands off me and want to be around me, that's all I want. Good or bad, doesn't matter - both can be fun.

zsaoosh

When we are NOT ready to settle, we go for the bad boy (he is for fun). When we ARE ready to settle, we go for the good guy (he is to keep). All my ex-boyfriends are bad, my soon-to-be husband is the best guy I have ever known.

PeaceLoveVeggies

There's a difference between confident and cocky. Confidence is sexy and has nothing to do with being a 'bad boy'. Cockiness is UGLY.

Glad I'm not the only person that thinks this lol

budhandy

pssht im so a bad *kitten*...i wair my cap..get this...backwards! I know, i wouldnt f"ck with me either :smokin:

auticus

eff dating and attraction. Too many rules and mini-games to go through.

NeverGivesUp

I married an amazingly wonderful guy who is an amazing father to my kids. I cannot explain to the full extent how safe I feel when I am with him. I know he will never cheat or betray me. That security when creating a family is priceless. I fall more and more in love with him every day and we have been married 10 years now. So, bad boys are not worth it in the long run, but good guys definitely are!!!

auticus

Had this discussion with my husband, he said that he use to be a very nice guy, (he is now to me haha) but a girl he tried to go out with wouldn't give him the time of day, and he asked her why, and she told him "You are to nice." from then he started to be a jerk. I was attracted to his jerkyness lol. (is that a word?) Well we got married, and I got older, and told him that I'm no longer that girl he dated, and we were married and he had me so he could lose the bad boy attitude. Now he is a a nice guy, and I am more attracted to that now. He spoils me and wears me on his arm like the purest of gold.

From my own experience this is relatively true. The more of an *kitten* that I am, the more female attention that I get. The nicer I am, the less attention I get. I have been yelled at for opening a door for someone ("I can do that myself") and told that chivalry is an outdated and lame concept by someone else.

It's more of a game of social chutes and ladders now.

cekeys

the age old good vs evil....bad boy vs nice guy...do nice guys (or girls) really finish last?

I will admit I fall for the bad boy everytime...I need the fight and opposition. why is that??

Not to go all Freudian on you, but how's your relationship with your father?

ItsCasey

This is an excerpt from the article linked above that I think explains the "women love bad boys" phenomenon, too:

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

Women who go after bad boys are trying to be the romantic heroine who saves a bad boy from self-destruction. They seek the thrill of being the one woman who gets a bad boy to settle down and that he will feel forever indebted to her for it. And I believe it's because she doesn't think she's good enough as she is. So she overcompensates and puts up with being treated like garbage.

So basically, on both sides of the equation, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sh1tsRainbows

Had this discussion with my husband, he said that he use to be a very nice guy, (he is now to me haha) but a girl he tried to go out with wouldn't give him the time of day, and he asked her why, and she told him "You are to nice." from then he started to be a jerk. I was attracted to his jerkyness lol. (is that a word?) Well we got married, and I got older, and told him that I'm no longer that girl he dated, and we were married and he had me so he could lose the bad boy attitude. Now he is a a nice guy, and I am more attracted to that now. He spoils me and wears me on his arm like the purest of gold.

From my own experience this is relatively true. The more of an *kitten* that I am, the more female attention that I get. The nicer I am, the less attention I get. I have been yelled at for opening a door for someone ("I can do that myself") and told that chivalry is an outdated and lame concept by someone else.

It's more of a game of social chutes and ladders now.

I would NEVER complain about a man with chivalry...ugh women are such b!tches

the_journeyman

How about a nice guy with a bad boy streak? I open doors, bring random flowers, cook, clean etc. However, there's a hard-driving (280Z) & riding (Monster 750) with a bit of a partying streak (after all the driving & riding of course).

JM

iceqieen

I wouldn't say nice girls or guys FINISH last. I would say we start out that way, but with time and maturity, most of us finally come to realize that the commitment phobes and emotional trainwrecks are no good for us.

this.

also.. sometimes people are replacing shy with nice. if you would just try and speak up you might actually get somewhere.

Every time I hear "I'm too nice, noone will fall for me" I feel like one of the guys in that crowd:

Ocarina

I love nice guys much more then bad boys. Always have. Bad boys burn me or don't act in a way I could function with.

Just whatever suits you better. i love my hubby. Nicest man on the planet. :happy:

RH_Brazell

I am guilty of being attracted to the bad boy type......:devil:

just don't care for their ways...wish i were more attracted to the nice guys!!

neverstray

There's good news for some of you ladies. As bad boys age, they mature, have kids, and kind of stay bad, but also become responsible and learn that being a bad boy all the time has consequences. So, they change a little. We are nice and respectful to our women, but have an edge, when it comes to other stuff.

So, there is some hope for you down the line.

StephTheBookworm

I like nerds. And funny guys. And animal lovers. Any combination of those would be swell. Not into the bad boy thing.

DMZ_1

Nice guys don't win. For me, it's all about winning. 'Nuff said!

I like a sweet, dependable woman who knows how to turn it on physically.