Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

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  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    After all I've said this far, I could not be in a relationship with a religious nut.

    lol, I dated one once, it was a blast! I used to piss her off so bad. it was fun ;p
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
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    Woah. A very hostile board here this morning.

    To the OP, if you even get this far in reading the boards, yes, religion is important and you do have to have 'the talk' and agree on it.

    My FIANCE and I had the religion talk very early on in our relationship. I grew up in a household that, while I was baptized, we didn't do church or even talk about religion. It wasn't an adamant thing by my parents; neither of them had any interest in it, and so it wasn't really a subject that was acknowledged. For a while, I believed myself to be an atheist, but at the core, it didn't feel right.

    So I met my fiance, and I found out he was raised in a strict Roman Catholic household. Now, he's pretty liberal with his views, but he enjoys going to church every weekend. Being with him, I wanted to give it a shot; like I said, I had never even thought about it.

    It took a few years of going (not every weekend, but about once per month) for me to really begin to enjoy it and further branch out and research the Bible; context, the different takes on certain passages, the history of Judaism, etc. I now go to church every weekend with my fiance willingly because I enjoy it.

    My point, I guess, is this - if they're willing to compromise and at least see what your faith truly means to you, and why it is so important, then give them a shot. Being blatantly against your religion? No. It won't work. There also has to be compromises on your end - no, they may not want to go to church with you every week, but if they're willing to talk to you about it and you agree on how to raise your children, then I don't see why not.

    Essentially, find someone with an open mind, who is honest, has integrity, who is polite and well-mannered, with at least a little bit of intelligence to back it up and an ability for tolerance. That's the best recipe! =D
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    As a Christian, it is a big problem to marry someone who is not a Christian. In the Bible, Jesus tells us not to be "unequally yoked" with a non-believer (2nd Corinthians chapter 6). This is for our own good, let alone the good of any future children - how would you feel if you knew your husband was going to hell? That would not be good for a marriage. Also, your relationship with God would take a hit because your partner would not be building up your faith as a husband is supposed to. Couples are supposed to seek God together and support each other. God would be moved to the back burner if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't believe. You would gradually lose the will to be in a relationship with God. So yeah, if you are a Christian, do NOT date a non-Christian.

    Oh wow.
    Personally I dont think that's true,

    I personally grew up with a Christian Mam and a Athestist dad it never did me or my sister any harm. Admittedly my mam was never strict about her beliefs but they were a factor in our childhood and we went to chruch servies with mum when we were younger and did other things with dad. We were exposed to religion to explore it and make our own choices. It can work and I see nothing wrong with it. Personally Im not a practising Christian now but I enjoyed being able to expore my beliefs with too differing opinions.
    But I honetly believe you have to want it to work, if you and your partner want to make it work it will regardless of whatever hurdles are in the way. I wish you luck in finding your answer xxx
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    if they did their "extensive" research they would see that God is real and that he sent his only son down to save us from sin. They would see he does exist. it is called faith

    lololololol.

    Faith =/= fact.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Then why do so many Christians get up in arms when people want to remove the Ten Commandments from courthouses?

    I don't know, I'm not one of them. Yes, this country was founded by religious men and founded on Christian principles, but if the government wants to remove those parts of history from their buildings, let them. It won't affect me or my beliefs.

    The reason why Christians get upset if the 10 Commandments are removed is because our country was founded upon Judea-Christian beliefs. Our founding fathers wanted us to have freedom of religion and not freedom from religion.

    So, just having the 10 Commandments in courtrooms should not offensive, it is part of our history. If I went to a Muslim country and they had Muslim law on their walls, I would not be offended.

    For everyone that says that Christians are not tolerant, I agree, there are very intolerant Christians. Just as there are intolerant Atheists. Atheists often attack Christians by saying, "I read the whole Bible" Or, "I believe in Science", "if you were able to think clearly you would see that there is no God." "I am highly intelligent and only idiots believe in God."

    And guess what, those words are very offensive. I have no problem with a person not believing in Jesus or God. That is truly your choice. I may disagree with you on this issue, but this does not make me stupid or you stupid.

    If I went to India and they had a Buddha on their government property, I would not be offended, India is a Buddhist country...I accept their beliefs. As a Christian, I am just saying accept our beliefs and do not get offended it you see a cross or a picture of baby Jesus. The US is a "Christian" nation. Now, if the government starts forcing people to believe in God and accept Jesus or they will be persecuted, then that is wrong and I would fight tooth and nail against that. Just like the Westboro Baptist Church...they are vile people and if they ever protested a funeral here, I would stand in front of them to protect the family of the fallen soldier.

    Very well said.

    Not well said. Didn't answer my question at all.

    If the Old Testament is irrelevant, then so are the Ten Commandments. So what's the big deal if they're removed from the courtroom?
    What is the big deal in leaving it? How does it offend you?

    I never said it offends me. I don't care if they leave it. You're ignoring my question.

    There's an awful lot of picking and choosing by Christians of the Old Testament. It either still matters or it doesn't. Either it's still the Word of God or it isn't. You can't insist that the Ten Commandments are part of your faith and then dismiss other parts of (let's call it what it is) the Torah because "only the New Testament matters now."

    I just want someone to tell my why the Ten Commandments are still part of Christianity, but other laws from the Torah are not.
  • katiew00t
    katiew00t Posts: 164
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    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church.
    And you believe him, that's cute.

    gee, thanks.

    Thank you (everyone else) for your responses! Keep them comin'!
    Do you think I'm joking? Honey. Think about it for a few seconds. He didn't suddenly do a 180 on his beliefs. He's telling you what you want to hear to get you back. Open your eyes OK?

    That's not necessarily true. As people get older they tend to change their views. Perhaps something opened his eyes...

    Agreed. And sometimes it takes losing someone to make you realize some things are less important than you once thought.

    thanks!!:smile:
  • getfitdiva
    getfitdiva Posts: 1,148 Member
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    My last relationship ended because he is Agnostic and I am a Christian. We finally had the "religion talk" and he said he wouldn't allow his children to go to church. That was a big deal to me, considering I grew up going to church 2x/week. I told him I couldn't raise children without bringing them to church, so we broke up.

    Now that we have been apart for several months, I have been actually excited to meet someone with the same beliefs as me, because I have never made religion a priority in my dating life before.

    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

    How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!

    Growing up Christian myself (Catholic & Baptist) and now I attend a non-denomination Christian Church. It's your belief system that you want ingrained into your family and it's crucial for a successful marriage. The family unit needs to be on one accord receiving the same Word for this to work and last. It is my opinion but I've been married for 10 blessed years and counting so I speak from experience.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    After all I've said this far, I could not be in a relationship with a religious nut.

    You do realise that the OP is a Christian!

    I don't think she wants to hear you name calling "stupid, nut" Christians etc in here, so bugger off!

    There are always a few in here...

    I never said anyone was stupid... but you should get off your high horse, your arguments on this topic are pretty irrelevant
    :flowerforyou:
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    Hi. I am not going to take the time to read everyone's responses because I am speaking to you, not them. I am also not going to turn this into a debate on religion like I am sure some people have.

    The bottom line is this: The person you choose to marry is the person you plan on spending your life with. If you don't have the same or very similar core values, honey, it is going to be extremely difficult for you. Once children come into the picture, it will probably get even worse. No one ever said marriage is easy, but why purposely would someone make it harder than it has to be? (I have been there, done that.)

    I am sure you and your ex still have feelings for each other. This must be a very difficult situation for you. It's no different than trying to be with someone who never wants to have children and you want them badly.

    People will always have their differences in a marriage, that's normal. He likes to sleep with the door open, you don't. He prefers cats, you prefer dogs. etc etc. But this is a MAJOR value that you obviously believe very strongly in.

    Whatever choice you make, make sure it's what you feel is right in your heart and whatever it is, it will be for the best.

    Best wishes. :flowerforyou:
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    It's very PC to think this way. And I'd have said the same at some point in my life. But, I think dichotomy is a great word to describe what I'm going for here. There's a dichotomy between religion and logical thought. I am not saying one cannot use logic within a set of religious beliefs, sure you can.

    There are accepted arguments for & against the existence of God within the philosophy of religion. My opinion on this is arrived at AFTER having studied them all. And it is my own opinion. And I happen to think it's the best :)
    My opinion (which I think is best :wink: ) is different from yours. I happen to think all meaningful communication or thinking proceeds according to underlying “logical” principles.

    agreed, of course it does.
    If religious thought is to be coherent or meaningful, it has to be consistent with or conform to “logic.” So, I’d deny the statement is true.

    agreed, i guess i haven't made myself clear. I'm not concerned with logical thought so much as I'm getting at an ontological or cosmological criticism of the existence of a deity... and how there's a gap
    Logic functions like “light” in the mind. Just as we cannot see things in the material world without physical light, so we cannot “see” intellectual or mental truths without the “light” of logic/reason.

    nice metaphor, and used well
    Religious beliefs, at least in Catholic Christianity, are not contrary to reason and can be coherently discussed and explained using reason.

    They are ultimately contrary to reason, and yes... they can be discussed using reason.
  • SClausen2012
    SClausen2012 Posts: 11
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    Before I was married I heard about how hard marriage and life can be. Still I had stars in my eyes concerning marriage.

    I've been married over a decade now, to a fantastic Christian man. Life hasn't been easy, and if we weren't able to come together before God, united in prayer, I don't think we would've lasted, no matter how great my husband is. Going to church together, praying at home together- this is the glue that has gotten us through troubled times.

    I have a friend whose mother married a great guy. He supported her church activities, and allowed his children to go as well. My friend worried on a daily basis on whether her dad was going to hell or not, because he was agnostic. Her parents marriage was strong, and her father was a very caring man, yet it hurt to see the pain this caused my friend.
  • soccerella
    soccerella Posts: 623 Member
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    Athesists makes me sad.:frown: I feel bad that they do notblive in Jesus Christ. You all should rent or find the DVD series th Turth project and tat might open your eyes. Hell isscary adni woul dno want to face it. Will be praying for ALL athesists tonight

    People that are atheists are usually atheists because of the extensive research done on religion.

    if they did their "extensive" research they would see that God is real and that he sent his only son down to save us from sin. They would see he does exist. it is called faith

    Proving something and faith are two completely different things. You cannot prove that God exists, you just have faith and believe He does


    Interestingly in science we do the same thing. No matter what my findings may be, I will never "prove" anything. You simply cant. All you can do is fail to disprove your hypothesis and thus why everything is called scientific theory :flowerforyou:
  • katiew00t
    katiew00t Posts: 164
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    Every religion is equally silly, so it doesn't really bother me if I date someone who believes in talking bushes or the Easter bunny or whatever floats their boat.

    I could see it as being an issue in the long term, though. The majority of Americans who are casually religious in the "well, I guess it couldn't hurt" sense aren't all that bad, but the devout tend to have that really annoying habit of wanting to convert you. Off your high horses, wackos, there's no god that is going to throw someone in a pit of fire for eternity for not agreeing with you.
    I'm curious why you couldn't just give your opinion without ridiculing and calling devout Christians wackos. It always amuses me how some non-believers come off as so angry with a religion they don't even believe in. You okay, there?

    I'm okay, thank you! I knew that there would be some haters out there. I'm grateful for all the positive and non-judgmental responses.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    After all I've said this far, I could not be in a relationship with a religious nut.

    You do realise that the OP is a Christian!

    I don't think she wants to hear you name calling "stupid, nut" Christians etc in here, so bugger off!

    There are always a few in here...

    I never said anyone was stupid... but you should get off your high horse, your arguments on this topic are pretty irrelevant
    :flowerforyou:

    The term "religious nut" is offensive.
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
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    Athesists makes me sad.:frown: I feel bad that they do notblive in Jesus Christ. You all should rent or find the DVD series th Turth project and tat might open your eyes. Hell isscary adni woul dno want to face it. Will be praying for ALL athesists tonight

    People that are atheists are usually atheists because of the extensive research done on religion.

    if they did their "extensive" research they would see that God is real and that he sent his only son down to save us from sin. They would see he does exist. it is called faith

    It's called faith, not fact. You just agreed with me.

    Yor faith in the bible is fact and your faith on beleiveing is called fact. I feel bad for you that you cant see what i am talking about. Believing in God and his word an all the great things he has done for us is an amazing feeling. He loves you so much and all that you do right or wrong and i do know this for a FACT
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
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    I think that I could actually have a meaningful relationship with someone whose religion was different from mines... as long as they aren't super pushy about it. I'm agnostic and living in the bible belt as is.. so I already tend to catch hell from others in the community. I'd hate to think that I have to fight my significant other tooth and nail because while he 'accepts' me, he wants to try and tweak my beliefs a bit and slowly mold me into that strong believer. It's not impossible though. There just needs to be leverage.
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    I will also add at this point that all the bashing from all sides isnt pleasent to read or helping the OP any. To you huni I'll say this... The choice is ultimately yours and I wish you all the luck in making it work xx
  • Tanyawhite30
    Tanyawhite30 Posts: 473
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    After all I've said this far, I could not be in a relationship with a religious nut.

    You do realise that the OP is a Christian!

    I don't think she wants to hear you name calling "stupid, nut" Christians etc in here, so bugger off!

    There are always a few in here...


    Wow there girl....I dont think she called OP a stupid nut.......Calm down....I take it you`re Christian???
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    After all I've said this far, I could not be in a relationship with a religious nut.

    lol, I dated one once, it was a blast! I used to piss her off so bad. it was fun ;p

    THAT could be fun! lol
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    After all I've said this far, I could not be in a relationship with a religious nut.

    You do realise that the OP is a Christian!

    I don't think she wants to hear you name calling "stupid, nut" Christians etc in here, so bugger off!

    There are always a few in here...

    I never said anyone was stupid... but you should get off your high horse, your arguments on this topic are pretty irrelevant
    :flowerforyou:

    The term "religious nut" is offensive.

    Some religious people ARE "nuts." But a lot of atheists are, too. Neither side has a monopoly on nuttism or judmentalism.

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