Girls. . we need guidance. .

_Christine_

I am not a very romantic person, so flowers and candles don't do much for me, but yes I think it would be great if women were a bit more appreciative of the effort some men put forth to make them feel special.
It would also be nice if more men took the time out to learn what it is that makes the woman he's with (or wants to be with) feel special instead of just assuming that all women want flowers, chocolate, and candlelight.

That being said, if you made me steak, broccoli, and a baked potato, that's all the romance I need. Seriously - you don't even have to provide a fork. :happy:

Mmmm steak....

brittanyjeanxo

Good grief, people. He wasn't stereotyping. He was generalizing. If all the women he's ever been with were unappreciative, he has no reason no to generalize. Stop acting all holier-than-thou and give the guy a friggin' break. He was just trying to make a point.

Anomalia

A man has never done those things for me.

brittanyjeanxo

A man has never done those things for me.

1. Impressive picture. You look great!
2. Perhaps you haven't found the right one yet

papastu

I'd just like to say I find this offensive.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years now and have been happily living together since the 1 year mark. We both do things for one another and maintain our apartment evenly. I verbalize how much I love and appreciate him every day, and he does the same. More than that, we show it with our actions.
Just because your current girlfriend does not appreciate you does not mean that you can project that on all women. Every relationship prior to my current I have been the under appreciated partner with boys who never acknowledged the great lengths I'd go for them. Boys who didn't do any of the things you described, despite me going above and beyond. And you know what? I realized it was my own god damn fault for letting them take me for granted. So I got out and found myself a partner who was willing to meet me half way.
My point? A lot of people suck. Male and female. You have no right to stereotype women in this way, or men for that matter! Change your attitude and maybe you'll find a woman who will appreciate you.

pull up a chair ... |_

you just got sat

korsicash

Um what are flowers, candle light, a house I didn't clean, or a phone call made for one's self. My husband has it pretty damned easy I do it all and don't get the kind words back. I notice any little thing he does and say thanks because I don't know when he will put up a roll of TP again. I would love to appreciate the little, feel wanted and all that jazz.....who would like to train mine?

new2locs

I actually don't like getting cut flowers. lol. I've told my husband this - so he gets me chocolates or potted flowers instead. We go out to dinner a lot, he takes our son to spend time with so that I can have time to myself. He helps me cook dinner often and always does the dishes afterwards. He works his *kitten* off every day and sometimes even into the night doing what I would consider a very demanding job so that I don't have to. He gives me money every week, just to spend on myself. He tells me I'm beautiful every day, among other wonderful things that I never get tired of hearing. He's more than generous in all aspects of our relationship. He's just all around amazing and everything I could ever want in a partner. :happy: I definitely try my best to show my appreciation for him every day and to give what I get back to him. I'm a very lucky woman.

If your partner can't recognize the things you do for him / her to show your love, there's a problem somewhere! I think it's important those affections and actions go both ways.

You are VERY LUCKY!!!! I think you've found yourself a rare jewel!

acs4162

ps. Did my husband ask you to post this on his behalf? I just hugged him and thanked him.

pinuplove

My husband does all of those and more for me because he loves me and wants me to be happy. And I do plenty for him in return, including rarely saying no (only if I'm really not feeling well). Sex shouldn't be currency in a relationship. We do what we do for each other out of love, freely and without expectation of reciprocity.

anberlingasm

My other half does all those things for me... but she's a woman.

new2locs

We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...

If I wasn't married I'd date you! My husband does none of that!

auticus

it's so nice to live alone and not have to worry about these things. Really it is.

I clean my own house.
I do my own dishes.
If I need something, I take care of it.

I agree with the below that sex should not be currency. I think most people don't need to be in relationships because they don't even know how to treat themselves right, let alone another person.

beccci91

Exactly what are flowers??

Although my boyfriend sometimes runs a bath for me as a surprise after a hard day at uni or work, lights some candles and puts rose petals all over the floor and our bed ahhh I love him so much x

brittanyjeanxo

Um what are flowers, candle light, a house I didn't clean, or a phone call made for one's self. My husband has it pretty damned easy I do it all and don't get the kind words back. I notice any little thing he does and say thanks because I don't know when he will put up a roll of TP again. I would love to appreciate the little, feel wanted and all that jazz.....who would like to train mine?

1. men are not dogs. You don't "train" them.
2. have you tried talking to him about it? There have been times where my fiance has been unappreciative or vice versa. A lot of the time they (or we) don't even realize it's happening.

JenAiMarres

stop trying so hard.......be a good dad, a great man, a good provider........and most importantly JUST BE YOU!

Be independent and have your own thoughts...dont be needey...or whiney EVER!

brittanyjeanxo

My other half does all those things for me... but she's a woman.

Well sounds like you've found the right one lucky you!

hbrittingham

Good grief, people. He wasn't stereotyping. He was generalizing. If all the women he's ever been with were unappreciative, he has no reason no to generalize. Stop acting all holier-than-thou and give the guy a friggin' break. He was just trying to make a point.

Well put. I swear sometimes on this site people look for a reason to be offended.

mamato3babies

I would be happy if my husband would not come home with a attitude everyday! He also blames everything on my daughter (9 yrs old) even if it is one of OUR other 2 children's fault! Being plain hateful and saying rude / hurtful comments all the time just makes our relationship that much more rocky! He has no patients and horrible anger issues... Also he's never wrong in his eyes! "OKAY, I'M DONE VENTING!!" He does NOTHING when he gets home from work. (no kids baths, no feeding the kids, no helping out with anything around the house, doesn't bring me little gifts / presents unless it is my b-day or Valentine's day!) He doesn't even know how to bath the kids, feed babyfood, or put in a child car seat!

ElleOQuent

Who is this "we" that you speak of?

brittanyjeanxo

Good grief, people. He wasn't stereotyping. He was generalizing. If all the women he's ever been with were unappreciative, he has no reason no to generalize. Stop acting all holier-than-thou and give the guy a friggin' break. He was just trying to make a point.

Well put. I swear sometimes on this site people look for a reason to be offended.

Don't I know it. It's like they come in a bad mood and look for things they could someone distort to make them seem rude.

brittanyjeanxo

I would be happy if my husband would not come home with a attitude everyday! He also blames everything on my daughter (9 yrs old) even if it is one of OUR other 2 children's fault! Being plain hateful and saying rude / hurtful comments all the time just makes our relationship that much more rocky! He has no patients and horrible anger issues... Also he's never wrong in his eyes! "OKAY, I'M DONE VENTING!!" He does NOTHING when he gets home from work. (no kids baths, no feeding the kids, no helping out with anything around the house, doesn't bring me little gifts / presents unless it is my b-day or Valentine's day!) He doesn't even know how to bath the kids, feed babyfood, or put in a child car seat!

Um. If he is really like that, perhaps you should find another guy.

Kailel

Why are you talking to girls on the internet? They should be in the kitchen! >.>

Generalizing is no way to get a specific problem dealt with, if you have an issue with being unappreciated, bring it up to the girl in question, not all of womankind. I know (and have known, if you get my drift) men that have done none of those things, but I appreciated different things that they do, because they did try. Even if they didn't succeed, I appreciate the effort. Effort is what it's all about. My boyfriend constantly forgets birthdays and anniversaries, but the other day he said, "I know it's gotta be at the end of March, not the beginning, because you haven't gotten mad at me yet!". xD I appreciate his ability to make me laugh, even if it means he doesn't remember to do things that it would be nice if he did actually do. (and FYI I don't get *angry* when he forgets, I tease him in a way that's mutually amusing to us. The "mad" he was mentioning was the mad that society assumes a girl immediately goes to when she's been disappointed)

And to the people who think he's in his rights to generalize women because he's had bad experiences, that means I get to generalize all men as rapists and physically and emotionally abusive alcoholics. Hey, it's what I know about men from my ex-boyfriends. /rant

anberlingasm

men are not dogs. You don't "train" them.

All humans can be trained. Teaching a child is very much like training a puppy. Men might not be dogs, but they're just as trainable (although I disagree with the derogatory way it was said in the first place).

HorrorChix89

To answer your question OP, with me the first month (which is usually pushing it) is all rainbows and sunshine. Then after that I tend to warm up to you, escape my shy girl position, and realized that you just annoy the **** out of me. The jokes were never funny, I just laughed because I know I say some dumb stuff to.

Trying to fix my problems when I'm upset don't help either. I mean it's great and all but you can't fix them. If I'm upset and I say I'm fine. Leave it at that. Because that means I need time to pout in my own mind and get over it. It only takes a few minutes, maybe a hour or two. But I WILL get over it. I always do.

Flowers are great but most of them scare me or smell horrible (don't ask). I LOVE to eat, so feed me damnit!

I like to think I'm not take hard to please. Just all the men I've dated annoyed me in some form or another within a month. It's me, not you I promise.

mamato3babies

Oh yeah, it's that bad! Even now he is out playing softball and I am at home with 3 children (not saying that he can't have "him" time, but it would be nice to be able to have "me" time too!) I do love him, otherwise I wouldn't be with him... But a person can only handle so much.

auticus

Many of you seem to make bad choices in partners if you are being neglected and discarded and treated as callously as you claim to be.

Iamkim73

We want you . . constantly.. . .but you don't.. (not constantly).. .we try candles (lame) we try dinner (oh. . . he's just hoping to get lucky). . we try flowers (he knows he screwed up). . we try cleaning the house! . . . ok. . .we don't do that very often. . but the point is. . we try! and mostly. it's to make you love us. . not just to make you scr*w us. . . we like you ..and we want you to like us too. . why do you find it so hard to hook us up with some appreciation. ... an acknowledgement and a hug will do. We work hard for you...

I'm speaking for myself here not all women....

I dont need a man to do stuff to make me love them... It's the person not the actions that will make me fall for them. Now, flowers, candles, cleaning the house are all lovely and do deserve some acknowledgement. Sometimes we forget men have needs other than sex... Just remind us.

Qarol

My husband likes me. I like him more...don't let him tell you different.

I made a good choice.

mamato3babies

Yeah, I've chosen some guys that aren't all that great... But I can say that my husband does have a good heart (he just doesn't show it. I just dont really understand why!)
Anyways, back to the poster's problem... I believe that I can agree with most of the other people and say "you just haven't found the right woman for you!" You sound like a good guy... Just keep your head up and love / happiness will find you. :-)

i_love_vinegar

Many of you seem to make bad choices in partners if you are being neglected and discarded and treated as callously as you claim to be.

I agree.