Always single!

tradaboie
tradaboie Posts: 132
in Chit-Chat
Ugh....so I'm not sure what is wrong with me. But yet another guy just disappeared....Asked me out on a few dates....I thought they went well....all of a sudden the texts slow down and then nada. I just don't get it. Used to blame my weight....now I'm afraid its just me haha. Ugh...sorry just wanted to vent :(
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Replies

  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
    Don't worry about it. I think most of us involved in long term relationships wish their significant others would just disappear once in a while.
  • deedog007
    deedog007 Posts: 89 Member
    Why dont u communicate with them and see whats going wrong, or if there is anything wrong. Maybe....just maybe thats the problem (Lack of Communication),

    Which is most important in all relationships. ;)
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
    Are they blind? You look great, and sounds like you have a good personality.. don't know what's wrong with them, but I don't think it's you.
  • cairney4698
    cairney4698 Posts: 237
    Hey there. If they have disappeared then it is there loss. Do not blame yourself. As my Mum always tells me "What is for me will not go past me"

    I truly believe in this. If he is for you it will all work out. if not Mr right is out there somewhere
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Stop blaming yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with you. Don't change for a guy. They won't change for you, and you shouldn't change for them. Be yourself. If it isn't meant to be, it isn't meant to be. You will find someone...don't worry.

    However, maybe you should just ask. It might not hurt to find out why...especially if it will stop you from scrutinizing yourself.
  • tradaboie
    tradaboie Posts: 132
    Why dont u communicate with them and see whats going wrong, or if there is anything wrong. Maybe....just maybe thats the problem (Lack of Communication),

    Which is most important in all relationships. ;)

    I called and left a message and sent a couple of texts....no response.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Some days I feel destined to be single forever. We just have to remember that if it is meant to be it will happen then find a way to enjoy just being you. If you can't be happy out of a relationship you'll never be happy in one. Find ways to love yourself first!
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    There are a hundred reasons it may be happening, but I wouldn't blame yourself... unless you have a tail and billy goat feet. :tongue:

    The right one can take time to find. :flowerforyou:
  • tradaboie
    tradaboie Posts: 132
    Hey there. If they have disappeared then it is there loss. Do not blame yourself. As my Mum always tells me "What is for me will not go past me"

    I truly believe in this. If he is for you it will all work out. if not Mr right is out there somewhere

    I like that I'm going to remember that one....your Mum sounds smart :)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    Some of us are primarily single. There's nothing wrong with it either.

    Look at the common denominator. Find out what it is you think is killing the game for you.
  • Teebowen
    Teebowen Posts: 78 Member
    it seems in my opinion as I watch my daughter struggle w/ the same thing... there are very few men... real men out there....sorry men who read this that are the real deal... but you know what I mean
  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member
    I'd have to concur, it's not you...or at least all you. No matter how unromantic guys seem, sometimes they are looking for a je n'ais sais quoi or kismet or whatnot.

    It's best to look for Mr. Right, not Mr.Right now.

    =)
  • krissypea79
    krissypea79 Posts: 362 Member
    Ugh....so I'm not sure what is wrong with me. But yet another guy just disappeared....Asked me out on a few dates....I thought they went well....all of a sudden the texts slow down and then nada. I just don't get it. Used to blame my weight....now I'm afraid its just me haha. Ugh...sorry just wanted to vent :(

    I hear ya!!! The same thing just happened to me....GREAT first date (HE said so afterwards, more than once), made plans to see each other again, then he just stopped replying to my texts. I was tempted to ask for an explanation, but what is the point??? It is really hard to believe that there isn't something wrong with me, even though everyone tells me that it isn't me. I don't really have much advice to offer since I feel like lately I am in the same boat, but I can let ya know that you're not alone! You look great, your progress is amazing, so don't let it get you down...I just try to tell myself that I wouldn't want a guy who thinks it's OK to just disappear with no explanation - that says a LOT about their character, and very little about anything you could have done wrong. Seems like people are always looking for the next best thing - they might think you are great, but maybe there is something greater. There are just too many options these days, that makes it hard. I swear that guys were much more committed and willing to settle down with me when I was in my early & mid 20's than they are now. I know what you're dealing with! :angry:
  • twinlaced
    twinlaced Posts: 46 Member
    Hehe nothing wrong with being single. Don't ever blame yourself for it, though. I guess I have a similar problem where I can never find a guy I like, no matter how many dates etc. So I've just learned to love myself and look at life differently. I enjoy being alone, and having all this time to do whatever I like (:
  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
    I called and left a message and sent a couple of texts....no response.

    That sucks. I hate that. It's time to move on. Anymore texts/calls to him and you are starting down the path of stalker.
  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member


    I hear ya!!! The same thing just happened to me....GREAT first date (HE said so afterwards, more than once), made plans to see each other again, then he just stopped replying to my texts.

    I've said dates were great, just because I couldn't think of what else to say. I've never made plans for a second date I didn't follow through on though.

    I mean you can't realistically say to someone you just met
    "Well, you seem like a great person, I'm just not interested."...we'll I suppose you could...but it'd be awkward.
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 567 Member
    I was actually at the point of resigning myself to being that "cat" lady after about four YEARS of horrible dates, fizzled relationships, and just bad experiences ... to the point where I was legitimately writing a book about my awful, awful adventures :) and then I met my current man. That was almost four years ago. So there is hope, and there are great ones out there! Unfortunately, you just have to pick through all the not so great ones in order to reach them. In the mean time, focusing on yourself, and being totally happy with the person you are and the life you lead is a great start! :)
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
    well, some people just can't see a good thing even when it's right in front of them. that or you need to stop dating cowards, the whole disappearing act thing with no explanation in lame. hang in there
  • Kikilarue59
    Kikilarue59 Posts: 81 Member
    Well, I must say...Your experience sounds like a repeat of what I have been through. What you had happen is so standard in the dating world these days. This guy just does'nt know how to have a proper conversation with you about why he might not want to go out again. This is not about YOU. it is about him. And his lack of class.
    Do not play movies in your head and waste your valuable time even giving it a second thought. Keep your head up and if you should decide to take a break from the stress of dating do so. Otherwise, if you want to continue dating. It's been my experience not to put any expectations out there .It will save your sanity
    Sorry this had to happen to you.
    kiki
  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
    Like many others have said.

    No hurry. Before I met Nicole and started a family I dated countless women who there was no way they would get a 2nd date. It's 2012 and now most people aren't looking to settle down until mid-late 30's. I wasn't.

    Chances are that's a road block you are running into.
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    I can't remember how many times I felt exactly as you do now. Hope you meet someone AMAZING! Until then, keep your head up.
  • Neize
    Neize Posts: 301 Member
    Don't let the Dust settle! Keep it moving. I've learned in life that I'm no longer going to analyze why a guy don't call/text me after a couple of dates. I just keep it moving because if you are content with the situation then you have him second guessing hisself!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    It's not you. It's just the way the dating scene is these day. Totally sucks!
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
    Did you give up the goods?
    Sometimes if you give it up to soon.............they leave
    Sometimes if you dont give it up soon enough...........they leave

    And you dont want either of that type anyway.

    Too many unknown factors..........but its most certainly not entirely your fault.
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    Be happy with yourself and happiness will find you! If the spark isn't there for both you and him, it's best to know now. Just don't go thinking there is something wrong with you just because some guy is to much an idiot to want to date you or man enough to say why not. You don't need someone who plays games like that.

    As a single guy, I deal with the same from single women.
  • Cupcake1015
    Cupcake1015 Posts: 109 Member
    Don't let the Dust settle! Keep it moving. I've learned in life that I'm no longer going to analyze why a guy don't call/text me after a couple of dates. I just keep it moving because if you are content with the situation then you have him second guessing hisself!


    I totally agree! however, I haven't met my Mr. Right either, and I know how frustrating it can be to have a guy drop off the face of the earth after you guys seemed to have a good time together. do NOT blame yourself. you are a beautiful person and your prince will come! and if a guy ever makes you feel sad, remember this: A man who makes you cry is not worth your tears, a man who is worth your tears will never make you cry!
  • chaniray
    chaniray Posts: 83 Member
    try dating a different type of guy. try not to take dating so seriously. it should be fun and light. try and keep it that way. i wouldn't call more than once. if you leave a message not only did they get the message but they more than likely saw you called. if you do more than that it may become a turn off even if they WERE going to date you again. when you are dating you should have a life outside of that person. if you don't then pretend you do. remember to keep it positive!

    the thing i hate about dating is that it seems like a game even tho it shouldn't be but giving too much of yourself too soon can work against the situation. everyone isn't comfortable jumping in with both feet. take it easy.

    please keep in mind that i've said all of this not knowing what kind of dater you are so please don't take offense.
    Don't worry about it. I think most of us involved in long term relationships wish their significant others would just disappear once in a while.

    lol
  • HealthyHappy120
    HealthyHappy120 Posts: 262
    Dude.. same here. *hugs*
  • tradaboie
    tradaboie Posts: 132
    I hear ya!!! The same thing just happened to me....GREAT first date (HE said so afterwards, more than once), made plans to see each other again, then he just stopped replying to my texts. I was tempted to ask for an explanation, but what is the point??? It is really hard to believe that there isn't something wrong with me, even though everyone tells me that it isn't me. I don't really have much advice to offer since I feel like lately I am in the same boat, but I can let ya know that you're not alone! You look great, your progress is amazing, so don't let it get you down...I just try to tell myself that I wouldn't want a guy who thinks it's OK to just disappear with no explanation - that says a LOT about their character, and very little about anything you could have done wrong. Seems like people are always looking for the next best thing - they might think you are great, but maybe there is something greater. There are just too many options these days, that makes it hard. I swear that guys were much more committed and willing to settle down with me when I was in my early & mid 20's than they are now. I know what you're dealing with! :angry:

    Yeah I'm not even that upset about this guy...was only 3 dates...and you're right if he thinks its ok to just disappear that's not what I want....just keeps happening. I think most of these guys are looking for just sex and when they realize it's going to take longer to get it than they want they bounce. I'm just not sure where to meet other guys lol
  • staps065
    staps065 Posts: 837 Member
    That sucks! I can't understand why?

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