Always single!

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  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    First of all you should evaluate what went wrong. Many times we women do things that we thought were right but unfortunately its also what drives a guy away. Also I agree with bigbearw, guys are not vocal when it comes to their feelings & usually they're not going to tell you in your face that they are not interested but they will just show it.
  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member
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    We've ALL been there! You're not alone, girlie! Hang in there - it took me 31 years but I finally found one worth keeping (who also wanted to keep me). Met him on eHarmony, believe it or not! Hang in there! When he's the right one, you'll both know it! :flowerforyou:

    I got rejected by eharmony. Now THAT is embarassing.

    Pick up guys at church, that way you see them once a week, and they can't lie to you!...
    or..okcupid or pof.com...I'm having terrific results there!....
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    If it makes you feel better, women do the same thing as far as disappearing ;) and in the world of facebook you can watch their relationship status switch over to hooked up afterward and illuminate you as to why they disappeared.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    If it makes you feel better, women do the same thing as far as disappearing ;) and in the world of facebook you can watch their relationship status switch over to hooked up afterward and illuminate you as to why they disappeared.

    Uh not for me, I just changed my relationship status from single to in a relationship with my bf's name linked into & after that, guys have been chatting or sending me messages that I'm pretty, blah blah blah & that they want me to be their gf. They didn't mind me when I was still single but now that I have somebody, suddenly they begin to appear from nowhere. I don't get it.
  • ThePunkHippie
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    Some days I feel destined to be single forever. We just have to remember that if it is meant to be it will happen then find a way to enjoy just being you. If you can't be happy out of a relationship you'll never be happy in one. Find ways to love yourself first!

    This is so true! So many people grasp to relationships that aren't right for them. I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship with someone who isn't right for me.
    Enjoy your freedom! You'll probably miss it (at least a little) when/if you find someone you want to settle down with.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    If it makes you feel better, women do the same thing as far as disappearing ;) and in the world of facebook you can watch their relationship status switch over to hooked up afterward and illuminate you as to why they disappeared.

    Uh not for me, I just changed my relationship status from single to in a relationship with my bf's name linked into & after that, guys have been chatting or sending me messages that I'm pretty, blah blah blah & that they want me to be their gf. They didn't mind me when I was still single but now that I have somebody, suddenly they begin to appear from nowhere. I don't get it.

    What I meant is you can date someone and then they disappear and then a few days later their facebook status changes over to in a relationship with some other guy and that tells you why they disappeared.

    As to what you are talking about, yes ... that is something that happens a lot. People want what they can't have. Or at the very least want to **** you and then don't need to hang around because you're already with someone else so they can cut and run.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    I have never had a boyfriend, and part of the reason is because of me being sheltered as a child by my mom, college, and graduate school. However, to the original poster, if a man is acting fickle like that, he is not the one for you. He may be married, in a relationship or is dating many other women at the same time. You will probably never know. Honestly, when men approach me and I be honest to them about sex or my expectations in life, I know right away if they are a keeper or just wanted sex. A man will make every effort for a woman he is REALLY interested in.
  • SavageRabidBeast
    SavageRabidBeast Posts: 481 Member
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    don't sweat it, it definitely isn't you. You seem like a good person with a good head on her shoulders, very beautiful also. So it is his complete loss. Just remember to keep your chin up, keep smiling, and keep having fun because that right person for you will notice that and he will wanna continue seeing all the great things about you. So on a final note........smile :)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Some days I feel destined to be single forever. We just have to remember that if it is meant to be it will happen then find a way to enjoy just being you. If you can't be happy out of a relationship you'll never be happy in one. Find ways to love yourself first!

    This is so true! So many people grasp to relationships that aren't right for them. I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship with someone who isn't right for me.
    Enjoy your freedom! You'll probably miss it (at least a little) when/if you find someone you want to settle down with.

    If you cannot love yourself or you hate yourself or are not happy with yourself or don't know how to enjoy life by yourself first... you (not YOU but you in general) really have no business trying to be in a relationship (IMO) until you work your issues with yourself out.
  • mmk137
    mmk137 Posts: 833 Member
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    just like the *****cat dolls say "i don't need a man to make me happy, i get off being free'.

    Seriously guys (and not all of you, cause I know there are some seriously genuine guys out there), are douches.

    It's not you, it's them. So go on living the life the way you want to live it, and you will get the right man, not these losers.
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
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    I feel like this too! But you know what I always get? We hang out, we have great sex, we have lots of fun.....then I get "I don't see myself being in a romantic relationship with you." Like I'm always good enough to have fun with....but I'm never good enough to be emotional with! I always get thrown to the friends category. "You are beautiful, fun, intelligent, an amazing lover....BUT" WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT!!!!!!!!!! I'm beautiful, fun, intelligent, able to keep you sexually satisfied, independent, have a graduate degree, a stable career, my own place.....WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT?!?!?!?!?!?!

    My friends say and most of them are guys....that I intimidate men because I am so amazing. HOW IS THAT MY PROBLEM?!!?!?!?!?!:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    Some days I feel destined to be single forever. We just have to remember that if it is meant to be it will happen then find a way to enjoy just being you. If you can't be happy out of a relationship you'll never be happy in one. Find ways to love yourself first!

    This is so true! So many people grasp to relationships that aren't right for them. I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship with someone who isn't right for me.
    Enjoy your freedom! You'll probably miss it (at least a little) when/if you find someone you want to settle down with.

    If you cannot love yourself or you hate yourself or are not happy with yourself or don't know how to enjoy life by yourself first... you (not YOU but you in general) really have no business trying to be in a relationship (IMO) until you work your issues with yourself out.

    SOOOO TRUE! I never wanted to be a relationship when I was obese because I def didn't feel comfortable with the person that I was. I always felt like a work in progress, and I don't think any of the relationships I could've been in would have worked because I didn't really like a lot of stuff about myself. That is why when a lot of people lose weight they often drop the significant other or say "they out grew them" because the person was right for the person they used to be and not the one they became.
  • jill92787
    jill92787 Posts: 158 Member
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    I understand!!!!!!!!!! And being surrounded by guys in their 20's ALL day EVERY day (I'm in the military) and hearing all of their stories, I've come to some conclusions.

    Sometimes they just don't feel that "it" feeling.
    Sometimes they're attracted to a different body type or style.
    Sometimes it's something stupid like "she hates video games" or "her laugh drove me insane" or "she's too tall"

    However, a LOT of the time it's because either 1. they are looking for something short term and realize you are looking for more than they are or 2. they start dating more than one girl at a time until they figure out which one they like better and then they just blow off the one(s) they didn't choose. Guys are very passive aggressive when it comes to letting a girl down, because they are terrified of how she'll react or they feel bad about it. They like to just avoid it, and her, all together.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I feel like this too! But you know what I always get? We hang out, we have great sex, we have lots of fun.....then I get "I don't see myself being in a romantic relationship with you." Like I'm always good enough to have fun with....but I'm never good enough to be emotional with! I always get thrown to the friends category. "You are beautiful, fun, intelligent, an amazing lover....BUT" WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT!!!!!!!!!! I'm beautiful, fun, intelligent, able to keep you sexually satisfied, independent, have a graduate degree, a stable career, my own place.....WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT?!?!?!?!?!?!

    My friends say and most of them are guys....that I intimidate men because I am so amazing. HOW IS THAT MY PROBLEM?!!?!?!?!?!:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:

    Seems like it's that you give him what he wants without him needing to be in a "relationship" with you, thus letting him do what he wants with others as well.

    Some people call those open relationships ;)
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
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    We've ALL been there! You're not alone, girlie! Hang in there - it took me 31 years but I finally found one worth keeping (who also wanted to keep me). Met him on eHarmony, believe it or not! Hang in there! When he's the right one, you'll both know it! :flowerforyou:

    I got rejected by eharmony. Now THAT is embarassing.

    Pick up guys at church, that way you see them once a week, and they can't lie to you!...
    or..okcupid or pof.com...I'm having terrific results there!....

    I use OK. Though, with all my recent drama, I have went on a rampage of telling all the ones I had been talking to, to leave me alone....and I told all of them what happened. I was truthful....and not a single one stopped talking to me. (quoted poster knows what I'm talking about).
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    Options
    Some days I feel destined to be single forever. We just have to remember that if it is meant to be it will happen then find a way to enjoy just being you. If you can't be happy out of a relationship you'll never be happy in one. Find ways to love yourself first!

    This is so true! So many people grasp to relationships that aren't right for them. I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship with someone who isn't right for me.
    Enjoy your freedom! You'll probably miss it (at least a little) when/if you find someone you want to settle down with.

    Sometimes it can be frustrating to be destined to be in single-blessedness (myself included) especially if we have our own plans of having our own family & picture ourselves with our kids. But being single also does wonders like being wholly independent financially (without worrying over family expenses or what gifts to buy for him, etc.), you can freely hang out with guys without having to worry in making someone jealous & more importantly this is the stage where you can make wise decisions especially when it comes to the guys that you really want.
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    Options
    I feel like this too! But you know what I always get? We hang out, we have great sex, we have lots of fun.....then I get "I don't see myself being in a romantic relationship with you." Like I'm always good enough to have fun with....but I'm never good enough to be emotional with! I always get thrown to the friends category. "You are beautiful, fun, intelligent, an amazing lover....BUT" WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT!!!!!!!!!! I'm beautiful, fun, intelligent, able to keep you sexually satisfied, independent, have a graduate degree, a stable career, my own place.....WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT?!?!?!?!?!?!

    My friends say and most of them are guys....that I intimidate men because I am so amazing. HOW IS THAT MY PROBLEM?!!?!?!?!?!:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:

    Seems like it's that you give him what he wants without him needing to be in a "relationship" with you, thus letting him do what he wants with others as well.

    Some people call those open relationships ;)

    Yeah, I'm not own for open relationships. Maybe I need to set expectations earlier (I'm looking for a solid relationship), but even when I do that, it seems to make them think I'm moving too fast. IDK about others, but when I'm seeing someone multiple times a week, cooking for him, having sleep overs, talking every day....that seems to be turning into a relationship. If I like someone, I show it....but then they always turn around and say that's not what they want.
  • tracyco66
    tracyco66 Posts: 25 Member
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    If you haven't read this book "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys"...get it....I don't know how true most of it is but it will at least make you laugh when they pull this crap...
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I am looking for that connection. That absolutely amazing connection. You kind of have to figure it out though. When you first meet someone, you're always super into them. It takes some time to see if it stays or not. I guess that's what confuses women, when it wears off. Some of my ex's are good friends. I don't hate them, they don't irritate me, in fact, I think I must be crazy to break it off. But, the truth is, they aren't totally rocking my world. I find myself trying to avoid them, and lying to them that I'm going out with the boys when I really just want a night home alone...stuff like that. When I start doing that, I know something is wrong. Despite the fact that she is awesome. But, if I find the one, she'll be my best friend and someone I can be honest with and someone I want to be lazy with at home.

    But, I can't figure that out right off the bat. You kind of have to go down a little path and sus out your true feelings. It's difficult.

    Are women really that dependant on a man. What I mean is, if a guy likes you, then that's it for you? There's no filter on your side too? I find that pretty hard to believe, especially after what happened to me with my ex wife.

    I mean what if you really, really like someone, but you just don't get butterflies in your belly when they kiss you. But, you really like them and care about them? I mean, it's tough, right?

    I can't answer to guys fading out. I was talking to a friend of mine that told me that he can't do what I do. Basically, I just tell hem and break it off. He has to f*** it up, turn it into a big fight and break it that way. I asked why all the drama? He said that he doesn't have the heart to just tell them. I think a lot of guys lack integrity, so they just wimp out rather than face the music and tie up loose ends.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    Options
    I feel like this too! But you know what I always get? We hang out, we have great sex, we have lots of fun.....then I get "I don't see myself being in a romantic relationship with you." Like I'm always good enough to have fun with....but I'm never good enough to be emotional with! I always get thrown to the friends category. "You are beautiful, fun, intelligent, an amazing lover....BUT" WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT!!!!!!!!!! I'm beautiful, fun, intelligent, able to keep you sexually satisfied, independent, have a graduate degree, a stable career, my own place.....WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT?!?!?!?!?!?!

    My friends say and most of them are guys....that I intimidate men because I am so amazing. HOW IS THAT MY PROBLEM?!!?!?!?!?!:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:

    Seems like it's that you give him what he wants without him needing to be in a "relationship" with you, thus letting him do what he wants with others as well.

    Some people call those open relationships ;)

    Yeah, I'm not own for open relationships. Maybe I need to set expectations earlier (I'm looking for a solid relationship), but even when I do that, it seems to make them think I'm moving too fast. IDK about others, but when I'm seeing someone multiple times a week, cooking for him, having sleep overs, talking every day....that seems to be turning into a relationship. If I like someone, I show it....but then they always turn around and say that's not what they want.

    I don't want to sound conservative but I don't think sleeping over with a guy is a good idea to build a solid relationship. Having sex without officially being in a relationship especially if you're still in the getting to know process can give guys an idea that you're an easy prey & that they will see you as "good for now" & not as someone with a girlfriend/wife potential.