Worst pick up lines you've ever heard?

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Replies

  • pobski
    pobski Posts: 42 Member
    You going to be walking alone to your car later?
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    Him: "how much does a polar bear weigh?"
    Me: "Oh gee, I don't know. I suppose around 1000 lbs."
    Him: "Uhh....enough to break the ice. Can I get your number?"

    I actually think that's cute in a cheesy way! lol
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    I actually had a girl come up to me once and say "I have a name" before ever saying anything beforehand....to which I replied "good for you, it's important to be able to identify yourself"
  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
    I've had a guy come up to me, put his arm around me, start shaking my body and say, "I really like your peaches wanna shake your tree."

    I've had guys ask me where I got "your tits" and I always answer with, "They're home grown."

    I've had guys ask me what time I get off (as they smirk at their friend) to which I reply, "Hopefully before you do. And I'd assume that'll be hard to do with you........." then walk away...

    Hm....... more?

    "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice....." yes, it really happened.
  • Nikkei24
    Nikkei24 Posts: 282 Member
    A guy who was a harry potter look a like asked me if I wanted to come stay the night at his place after the bar. (I had just met him maybe 10 min before that) I said no and he said "But I just cleaned my room" WTF? Was that supposed to be incentive for me to go home with you. It sounds like something you tell your mom when you're a kid so you can go out to play. Needless to say I did not go home with him but it was a really good laugh for me and my friends.
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    During my brief time on an online dating site: "Unlike most men, I find tall women very attractive." Uh, thank you?
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    "Say girl, lemme holla at you."

    First of all, technically you're already "holla"ing at me, second of all, no.
  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
    "You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to a solicitor. Are you going to come quietly?"

    This one made me laugh pretty hard...
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    "Wait, are you gay?".... because I go to mostly gay dance clubs in San Francisco.

    My response is usually, "no, but if you're my only option I'm considering changing teams."
  • silvabelle89
    silvabelle89 Posts: 76
    "Let's skip the small talk, what do you want for breakfast?"

    Hahahaha wait I love this one!
  • n_unocero
    n_unocero Posts: 445 Member
    Him: "how much does a polar bear weigh?"
    Me: "Oh gee, I don't know. I suppose around 1000 lbs."
    Him: "Uhh....enough to break the ice. Can I get your number?"

    haha my bf says this one all the time! (joking around)
  • _HeathBar_
    _HeathBar_ Posts: 902 Member
    "Smell my finger"

    ....I did. And ended up marrying him.

    Well.... what did it smell like? Not chloroform I hope.
  • 0lightasair
    0lightasair Posts: 42 Member
    My new go-to pickup line:

    "Are you Irish? Because my penis is Dublin!"

    ^ lulz, loveit.


    "RU/18 QT" - engineering bar, go figure.
  • shazzannon
    shazzannon Posts: 117 Member
    The worst ones I've heard have been said to me when I studied abroad in Italy, and my favorite (and most common) groaner so far has been:

    "Excuse me, but I think you dropped something. (Points to ground) It's my heart!"

    Ugh.

    I also had the same guy ask me out three different times by asking 1) what time it is and 2) if I would like to take a walk around the city with him. Apparently he didn't remember me or my rejections
  • darkmouzy
    darkmouzy Posts: 227 Member
    ..this really happened...
    Guy: did that hurt?
    Me: huh?
    Guy: when you fell from heaven?
    me:...nawh I think he was glad to get rid of me *walks away*
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    "Hi. I am unemployed and I live with my parents".
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Friend in college walked loved tall guys. One night at a bar she walked up to this hot guy and said, "You are so tall and you are so fine..." (Insert my opinion here, bad pick up line) He looked down at her and said, "I am standing on the bar stool."

    Not necessarily a pick up line, but one time in college a guy asked me for my number when I was super hammered. I saw him about a month later and he said, "Hey, sorry I never called you, but instead of writing your number on my hand you wrote 'I am the coolest person you will ever meet.'" Classic me.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    You going to be walking alone to your car later?

    *shudders*
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
    "Wow, can i call you Sister Golden Hair?" -- gah.

    "You look amazing for having kids"

    "You are smokin for being ___ (fill in age)"

    "I see that you are married, but are you happily married?"
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven." I wasn't even wearing tights double cringe!
    "If you were my homework I'd do you everynight."
    "Can we share a bath?.. It'd save on water," and that was just last week loveeely! Lol embarrassing.
  • silvabelle89
    silvabelle89 Posts: 76

    "I see that you are married, but are you happily married?"


    Ew. Skeezy
  • DAMNCHARLIE
    DAMNCHARLIE Posts: 569
    "You like look my 3rd wife, and I have only been married twice"
  • silvabelle89
    silvabelle89 Posts: 76
    "You like look my 3rd wife, and I have only been married twice"

    Oooooooo I've also heard ' you look like my future ex wife ' yikes
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    "You like look my 3rd wife, and I have only been married twice"

    Oooooooo I've also heard ' you look like my future ex wife ' yikes
    I have also heard this one..
    I just told him to cut out the middle and consider me a disgruntled ex.. lol
  • mamagwen
    mamagwen Posts: 6 Member
    In Amsterdam: "You dance like you're horny. Are you horny?"
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Believe it or not, this works all the time...

    Does this smell like chloroform?

    You never cease to make me laugh out loud and/or snort whatever beverage I am unlucky enough to be drinking when reading this stuff!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Daddy's home!
  • kriskaryl
    kriskaryl Posts: 120 Member
    "You've got great muscle tone for a fat girl"
  • SavageRabidBeast
    SavageRabidBeast Posts: 481 Member
    Not really a pick up line necessarily but I once got asked by a woman at the bar if she could have my shirt cuz her brother would really like it. Nope sorry, I am not taking my shirt off in the bar...
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Funny you should post this. Saturday I had the misfortune of having a married man hit on me.

    Upon hearing I was tired, he responded with: Oh! I'd keep you up all night AND leave you with bruises.

    ... It was THE most bizarre thing ever.

    He turned beat red after seeing my reaction and quickly back peddled.
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