Do you ever do the fart and blow?

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124

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  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
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    I don't know if all dogs do this, I guess I will be a bit disappointed if they do, but when my aunt comes over with her 8 year old black lab, he is laying in front of the television chilling out, maybe dozing off. He suddenly lets one go, and it stinks. All you hear is this massive sigh, like oh darn it I did it again, and then he gets up and swooshes it around violently with his tail. Just so we all get to smell it. He's a very thoughtful pooch.

    My 5 year old chocolate lab loves to fart in his sleep. His are usually like air... like 'shhhhhh'.... wait for it, wait for it.... aw DAMN. They stink so bad too, and take like ten minutes to go away. He never gives us the courtesy of fanning it with his tail. He just lays there and cuts his eyes at me like, 'did you hear that? well get ready for it.;
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
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    for some reason I thought this thread was about farting and blow jobs....carry on people carry on
  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
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    for some reason I thought this thread was about farting and blow jobs....carry on people carry on

    Why? Do you fart when you are giving blow jobs? Sorry... had to be a smarty pants. :drinker: :bigsmile:
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
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    Seriously though....one time I swear a ghost farted in my face.....I am being serious too :noway:

    Great excuse! gonna use it next time! "Really Honey, A Dead ghost did it! LOL
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    I usually do the drive by if it's gonna be a stinker.....meaning I get the hell outta Dodge really quick! (better if there's someone you can blame it on, though! ;-)
  • mmstgr
    mmstgr Posts: 578 Member
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    shart.

    omg, bahahahahahahaaaaaaa
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    i blame the dogs or i drop and dash


    AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

    * AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

    * ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

    * AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

    * ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

    * BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

    * BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

    * CARELESS : Farts in church

    * CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

    * CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

    * CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

    * CONFUSED : Face is so much like an *kitten*, fart can't tell which way to go

    * CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

    * DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

    * DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

    * DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

    * DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

    * ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

    * FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

    * FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

    * GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

    * HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

    * IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

    * LAZY : Just fizzles

    * MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

    * MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

    * MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like **** and sounds like hell

    * NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

    * PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

    * SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

    * SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

    * SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

    * SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

    * SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

    * SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

    * SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

    * STINGY : Belches to save his *kitten*-hole

    * STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

    * THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

    * TIMID : Jumps when he farts

    * UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but ****s himself

    * VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

    * WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

    * WISE GUY : Farts and asks who ****
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
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    for some reason I thought this thread was about farting and blow jobs....carry on people carry on

    Why? Do you fart when you are giving blow jobs? Sorry... had to be a smarty pants. :drinker: :bigsmile:
    what happens at Applebees stays at Applebees lmao:smokin:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    * CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

    This is me, that's why I never get away with it!
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I don't blow it, I fan it - at my man.

    You have to give him a bowl of it... that's what I do

    How?

    make a bowl out of your hands, cup your fart, and put it in his face, and ask "want a bowl?"

    ah yes, the ol' "cuppafart"
    Best when done while they're mid-sentence
  • LiviLou2011
    LiviLou2011 Posts: 437 Member
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    for some reason I thought this thread was about farting and blow jobs....carry on people carry on

    Why? Do you fart when you are giving blow jobs? Sorry... had to be a smarty pants. :drinker: :bigsmile:
    what happens at Applebees stays at Applebees lmao:smokin:

    ewww hahahahahha
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    what are you talking about?!?!

    Girls don't fart...they fluff.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
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    :noway: OH, DEAR GAWD !! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    make a bowl out of your hands, cup your fart, and put it in his face, and ask "want a bowl?"

    ah yes, the ol' "cuppafart"
    Best when done while they're mid-sentence
    [/quote]

    here we say "I made you a cupcake"
  • amyrp8c
    amyrp8c Posts: 41 Member
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    best laugh i have had all day reading ur comment literally had tears rolling down my face :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    My husband lets out stink bombs at night and pulls the covers over my head, but when he falls asleep in his recliner, I fart on his head.
  • vabrewer33
    vabrewer33 Posts: 185
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    How about farting at the gym. That's livin the dream baby.

    Oh all the time but thankfully the machines are usually loud enough that nobody hears and I hope the fans blow the smell away lol
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    what are you talking about?!?!

    Girls don't fart...they fluff.

    Uh....I've heard this before but I thought "fluff" was a junior position in the adult film business.
  • coopersmom2006
    coopersmom2006 Posts: 839
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    How about farting at the gym. That's livin the dream baby.

    Oh all the time but thankfully the machines are usually loud enough that nobody hears and I hope the fans blow the smell away lol

    I am so thankful I'm in the gym alone when I'm there. Running totally makes me toot!! This thread is cracking me up. I'm sitting at the kid's karate class laughing like crazy.
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
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    How about farting at the gym. That's livin the dream baby.

    Oh all the time but thankfully the machines are usually loud enough that nobody hears and I hope the fans blow the smell away lol

    I am so thankful I'm in the gym alone when I'm there. Running totally makes me toot!! This thread is cracking me up. I'm sitting at the kid's karate class laughing like crazy.
    remeber if you fart at the kids karate class, crop dust and blame it on the children lol
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    How about farting at the gym. That's livin the dream baby.

    Oh all the time but thankfully the machines are usually loud enough that nobody hears and I hope the fans blow the smell away lol

    I am so thankful I'm in the gym alone when I'm there. Running totally makes me toot!! This thread is cracking me up. I'm sitting at the kid's karate class laughing like crazy.
    remeber if you fart at the kids karate class, crop dust and blame it on the children lol

    Or try to time it with they yells of prepubescent "HIYAH!"

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