When people unfriend you, for being human!!

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  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    How long would a boss keep you on the payroll if you stopped showing up for work?

    How long would a potential boyfriend/girlfriend keep calling if you never went on a face-to-face date?

    How long would a real-life friend stay a real-life friend if you never stayed in contact?
  • YummyTpn
    YummyTpn Posts: 339 Member
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    I JUST had the experience of someone deleting me because she didn't think I was as "motivated" as her, and in her opinion, every now and then I fall "off course" and she just doesn't have the time and energy to keep me motivated...

    WTF?

    I have been on here EVERY DAY since Dec.1/11 and yes, I have struggled, at times, but that is a part of my journey...I HAVE NOT given up, not at all, and have been invloved in several challenges...I can understand, if I went AWOL for a long time, but I just feel judged.

    I am on here every day cheering my friends on as much as possible, INCLUDING this particular friend.

    So it wasn't fair, but life isn't fair, and this just proves that she wasn't a true MFP friend...My friends don't judge or qualify me along my weight-loss/lifestyle change journey (and I've lost 15 lbs, I have been TRYING!)
  • SOthebomb
    SOthebomb Posts: 9 Member
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    true true. I hope you will be my non-fair-weather friend!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I don't unfriend people for any reason. But I won't take it personally if someone unfriends me for any reason because their friends list is there for them, not for me. It's there to keep them on track and motivated. I don't take it personally if someone decides my diet, exercise, log in habits, or anything else is a reason to unfriend me because they aren't doing this for me, they're doing it for themselves.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I've noticed people either suck it up and make the lifestyle changes, or whine about it a lot on the forums and everywhere else.

    So either do it, or don't do it.

    It's all you. There is no magic trick to suddenly feel motivated. People on here don't actually matter to your weight loss, as awesome as my MFP friends are.

    On that note, I'm going to the park to play some Frisbee.

    Vaya con Dios, kids.
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    How close are you to these people anyway? If someone on here deletes me, I don't care, because the people with whom I have a strong bond would never do that.

    ^^^ this

    I don't know any of my MFP friends personally, I'm just looking for support and motivation. I wouldn't be upset if someone on here unfriended me. They only know the weight loss side of me, and if they don't like what I'm doing and unfriend me, then that's their issue not mine.
  • imkegoal
    imkegoal Posts: 156 Member
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    I have only got 12 friends because I am selective with who I ask to be a friend, and I am tempted to unfriend some of those 12.
    Not because I don't like them, or feel superiour or whatever, just because I only see the point in having friends on there who give comments on your progress once in a while, and who I can comment to as well.

    At the end of the day, does it really matter? If they unfriend you, you can't have been that close in the first place.
    Although I have grown to like a few of my MFP friends, there are only 2 people really close to me on MFP- the friend who introduced me to it and my mum. :)

    ....and if I am left with 2 friends after this posting, I assume that my other 10 friends have read this posting and felt offended by that...
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I had some friends delete me because I didn't log in for a few months. At the time, I had no internet, and no car to go to the library. There are times that I did walk to the library, but couldn't do it often because it was in the middle of winter. It did help however that when I was able to get back on, that I still had some that didn't delete me.

    I guess people forget that we do have a life outside of MFP. Just because we're not logging in everyday doesn't mean we're out eating fast food every night, or sitting in front of the tv eating an entire cake! We're all on here for one reason or another, and if we didn't need the support we wouldn't be here!

    It is not about whether or not you have a life. It is about wanting people who use this program. Too many stop using the site and never come back. As I said in a previous post, it can be discouraging if you have friends that never log on. At least one of those times when you made it to the library you could have posted on your wall or your profile that you were having probs accessing the Internet and I'm sure more of your friends would wait for you. I always attempt to go to someone's profile and encourage them to check in before I delete them. I would have seen that message on your profile and waited until you could return.

    Honestly? What difference does it make if you have friends that never log on? Unless you have reached your MFP maximum, it's certainly no inconvenience. Oh...wait, no...you've got to read that they didn't log on after three days. Oops, definitely delete worthy!

    Seriously though...I care about the friends who care about me...and the funny thing is, I've been going through hell this last six months...I haven't been as supportive as I used to, but guess what? All those friends that I talk to and care about, they're still right there cheering me on. The ones that aren't...are still my friends too, but if they're busy or concerned with their own issues like I've been recently...wth would I delete them for?

    Also...Lorina, I wanted to say...I love like 99% of your posts, but comparing your job, or spouse/mate/whatever, or even real life friends (who honestly stick around for a lifetime, whether you have much contact or not. If they're real friends anyhow) to MFP friends who only have a connection via a keyboard and monitor...isn't really valid is it?
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Also...Lorina, I wanted to say...I love like 99% of your posts, but comparing your job, or spouse/mate/whatever, or even real life friends (who honestly stick around for a lifetime, whether you have much contact or not. If they're real friends anyhow) to MFP friends who only have a connection via a keyboard and monitor...isn't really valid is it?

    How is it not valid?

    There's people saying that they deserve support, but if they're not on the site, they're not giving any support. It sounds really selfish to me. I've always had a "you get what you give" attitude about all my relationships, whether it's professional, family, romantic, platonic... I don't expect anyone to go out of their way for me if I'm not willing to do the same.

    Personally, I'm a terrible friend on the walls here. I'm active on the forum instead. It's easier to follow. I think of the "friend" aspect on here as a way to subscribe to someone's blogs and posts, and maybe share a joke or two that aren't forum-appropriate. If I want advice, support, or motivation, I'll ask for it and hopefully get it, but I wouldn't expect to have anyone throw a party for me if I came back from a long sabbatical. I don't think I'm that important.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Also...Lorina, I wanted to say...I love like 99% of your posts, but comparing your job, or spouse/mate/whatever, or even real life friends (who honestly stick around for a lifetime, whether you have much contact or not. If they're real friends anyhow) to MFP friends who only have a connection via a keyboard and monitor...isn't really valid is it?

    How is it not valid?

    There's people saying that they deserve support, but if they're not on the site, they're not giving any support. It sounds really selfish to me. I've always had a "you get what you give" attitude about all my relationships, whether it's professional, family, romantic, platonic... I don't expect anyone to go out of their way for me if I'm not willing to do the same.

    Personally, I'm a terrible friend on the walls here. I'm active on the forum instead. It's easier to follow. I think of the "friend" aspect on here as a way to subscribe to someone's blogs and posts, and maybe share a joke or two that aren't forum-appropriate. If I want advice, support, or motivation, I'll ask for it and hopefully get it, but I wouldn't expect to have anyone throw a party for me if I came back from a long sabbatical. I don't think I'm that important.

    In this circumstance, I can see your point. I don't ask for support however, so my initial point of view was different. I'm more than willing to give it...but for me, if I can't do this on my own, it'll never be something I can keep doing anyhow, you know? The support I get from this site is friendship based, rather than weight loss. Good people, with common goals, talking about all SORTS of things...as you know well =D.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.

    I logged in for 700 days in a row today!!! I also delete if you miss 3 days (unless I know for certain you are on vacation or whatnot) honestly I'm not here to be anyone's "friend" I'm here to lose weight and keep it off. However the friends thing is a bonus and I am loyal, and encouraging to those that are here to do be faithful to doing their thing.

    I agree if that makes me a snob then that's what I am.
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
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    I don't take it that seriously. I think some people delete because they need to have a "fan" base and people to pat them on the back for burning calories while "washing dishes". I am not one of those people. I am focused with or without your help.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I don't take it that seriously. I think some people delete because they need to have a "fan" base and people to pat them on the back for burning calories while "washing dishes". I am not one of those people. I am focused with or without your help.

    And this is where I am.
  • Karren188
    Karren188 Posts: 101 Member
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    I have about 16 friends on here. So far I have not deleted any -- if they support me fine - if they don't fine -- maybe something I'm saying or doing will support them, even if they are lurking. Maybe eventually they'll come out of the shell and be part of the mix. I've been deleted more than once when I failed to log in and that's fine too -- my strong comeback is their loss :) I like to help people and I like to network here. I like that I can find friends here in my age group and with similar backgrounds and weight goals. It's an awesome site - but like any social networking site, you have to cull through the duds to get to the good stuff. Keep hanging in there girl! Everyone here has an agenda - you just have to keep searching until you find the ones who "fit" with your agenda! (HUGS)

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