When people unfriend you, for being human!!
Replies
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I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?
um, you can change your friends list to sort everyone by how long its been since they logged in- and by longest first- and you can just X out all the people that dont log in anymore. I have almost 3 hundred friends and every day I pick a letter of the alphabet and run around checking on all the A's & Q's or the G's, etc. I check their recent activity for the week, offer up some encouragement and give them praise or a private message or just tell them someone's got their back.
Being an MFP friend does not require anyone to comment on everything that another person posts... that's called creepy.
Also- why are you so concerned about how other people use a site on the internet - that you accuse them of having poor time management or being fake just because you dont choose to use the wesite the same way they do.
Thats more than a bit judgmental and, to be honest, douchey. Isnt there a better way to spend your time as well?0 -
I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?
I don't comment on everyone. I comment on the one's that I actually see. It says on my profile that I accept everyone, I have a lot of friends, and I may not be able to interact with you as much as you would like... if that is a problem for you, please do not request.0 -
I tend to unfriend those that go over a month. I'll send them a message telling them that when they're ready to get back at it to let me know...but I don't care to have inactives on my list either. If you're not around for a month, you're not dedicated.0
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I tend to unfriend those that go over a month. I'll send them a message telling them that when they're ready to get back at it to let me know...but I don't care to have inactives on my list either. If you're not around for a month, you're not dedicated.
yeah I have no problem friending people that come back and try again.0 -
It is their loss if they delete you. Just keep kicking *kitten* and really, those that stuck around will be there to support you and to receive your amazing support. Screw Everyone else... They don't care, why should you.0
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I admire people who would stick with you through thick or thin (no pun intended). That's why I don't accept friend requests. It has nothing to do with personally rejecting someone. It has to do with the fact I'm not very good at supporting others, and when others give me praise, it distracts my focus. So, I don't want to just have a long list of friends, just for the sake of having friends. I have seen some very supportive and generous people here, so I'm sure you will weed out the ones that don't help you and have a good support group. That's the beauty of MFP. There is something for everyone. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
I am similar, but I do have some friends (but for various reasons). I'm not a very supportive friend unless I know they need the support. Even then, I'm not one to comment on every status update they post. Some of my friends are for entertainment and amusement, some are because they wanted similar friends (weight loss twins), a few are from various groups I'm, one is an IRL friend, two are family members, and one is a LARP efriend. I try to log on every day, but if some of my friends don't it's okay. But if they are missing for a long time (over a month on at least 2 occasions, sometimes less depending on how we interacted/ the type of "friendship/relationship" we had and if I know they are going to be away), then I don't feel bad for deleting them.
Supportive friends are nice, but I'm not looking for a diehard cheerleader. Ultimately this is my weight loss journey and it falls on me to keep myself in check. Do I eat "crap" as another person mentioned? Yes, but normally in moderation. Do I have days where I'm not my best? Yes, I'm human. My "friends" probably don't know everything that is going on in my life (and I'm not so narcissistic that I have to tell them everything), but if one deletes me, so be it. It isn't going to hurt my feelings.0 -
:flowerforyou:If a friend did not log for awhile, then why wouldn't you message them and see what's up???? That's what a friend should do.0 -
It is their loss if they delete you. Just keep kicking *kitten* and really, those that stuck around will be there to support you and to receive your amazing support. Screw Everyone else... They don't care, why should you.
this is the same kind of advice as you get when someone doesn't like you because of your personality and all your enabler friends tell you its just cause they are 'jealous'.0 -
I wouldn't take it personally. I had less than 10 friends and one day I just deleted them all recently. It had nothing to do with the friends it was about me not wanting all the clutter and tons of comments to read through. I figure if I can't do this thing on my own, then I can't do it. Also to be honest... when I read whining I usually delete or hide that person.0
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proverbs31chick did you get the answer you were looking for then?0
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It is their loss if they delete you. Just keep kicking *kitten* and really, those that stuck around will be there to support you and to receive your amazing support. Screw Everyone else... They don't care, why should you.
this is the same kind of advice as you get when someone doesn't like you because of your personality and all your enabler friends tell you its just cause they are 'jealous'.
Do you think it is better to say the "deleter" is better than the "deleted"? No way.0 -
I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?
um, you can change your friends list to sort everyone by how long its been since they logged in- and by longest first- and you can just X out all the people that dont log in anymore. I have almost 3 hundred friends and every day I pick a letter of the alphabet and run around checking on all the A's & Q's or the G's, etc. I check their recent activity for the week, offer up some encouragement and give them praise or a private message or just tell them someone's got their back.
Being an MFP friend does not require anyone to comment on everything that another person posts... that's called creepy.
Also- why are you so concerned about how other people use a site on the internet - that you accuse them of having poor time management or being fake just because you dont choose to use the wesite the same way they do.
Thats more than a bit judgmental and, to be honest, douchey. Isnt there a better way to spend your time as well?
^^^Ummm you.. have ISSUES... Those unfortunately.. CANNOT be dieted away... lil defensive aren't we?? Ive seen WAAAYYYY more offending jokes and things said than what I did.. and ummm yeah.. I don't have time to run around looking for sorting buttons or classifying people by the MFP's A,B,C's... I'm ever so sorry.... not...
sn:// some people on here are waaaayyyyyy creeepyyy... *checks to see if they have a *block or hide button* while I have a few moments...0 -
Someone may have already said this but if you are going on vacation, have an injury, etc--I would suggest posting a message about your impending hiatus.0
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We're all here to shed a little dead weight, anyway. Honestly, I keep quite a few Pal on my friends list but all are active and I have a working friendship with each one of them. I like to know what they do, how they train, and I like to be able to support and motivate them and expect the same in return.
I've had a few find me after months of derailment and I was happy to add them back. Same rules apply. If you can't be present and you're not adding to my journey in any meaningful way (nor am I to yours) then you'll face the same fate.0 -
My mama always said, "Mary, you're not going to like everybody you meet. And they're not all going to like you. It's life."
Your mama is a wise woman!! :flowerforyou:0 -
It is their loss if they delete you. Just keep kicking *kitten* and really, those that stuck around will be there to support you and to receive your amazing support. Screw Everyone else... They don't care, why should you.
this is the same kind of advice as you get when someone doesn't like you because of your personality and all your enabler friends tell you its just cause they are 'jealous'.
Do you think it is better to say the "deleter" is better than the "deleted"? No way.
Why does someone have to be better? Why cant you just not be connected. Your fitness level has nothing to do with the number of friends you have- why does one party have to be wrong and suck?
not cool.0 -
I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.
Yeah, I have to agree. I understand that everyone does things their own way and that's fine... but I've logged in for around 280 days in a row and I don't feel inclined to keep people on my friend list who log in every now and then and who never contribute to any of my posts or successes. I only have one friend on here that has fallen off the wagon a couple of times but I keep her as a friend because she was very supportive when I first began and I hope to support her again too when she gets back into it.0 -
I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?
um, you can change your friends list to sort everyone by how long its been since they logged in- and by longest first- and you can just X out all the people that dont log in anymore. I have almost 3 hundred friends and every day I pick a letter of the alphabet and run around checking on all the A's & Q's or the G's, etc. I check their recent activity for the week, offer up some encouragement and give them praise or a private message or just tell them someone's got their back.
Being an MFP friend does not require anyone to comment on everything that another person posts... that's called creepy.
Also- why are you so concerned about how other people use a site on the internet - that you accuse them of having poor time management or being fake just because you dont choose to use the wesite the same way they do.
Thats more than a bit judgmental and, to be honest, douchey. Isnt there a better way to spend your time as well?
^^^Ummm you.. have ISSUES... Those unfortunately.. CANNOT be dieted away... lil defensive aren't we?? Ive seen WAAAYYYY more offending jokes and things said than what I did.. and ummm yeah.. I don't have time to run around looking for sorting buttons or classifying people by the MFP's A,B,C's... I'm ever so sorry.... not...
sn:// some people on here are waaaayyyyyy creeepyyy... *checks to see if they have a *block or hide button* while I have a few moments...
good luck with life and stuff.0 -
I never delete anyone. How can someone who isn't being active "clog" up your friend's list? It's not like they are posting anything. *shrugs*
^This. If a friend disappears for a couple of days, weeks, months, whatever, it's not like they're clogging up your feed, or taking up too much of your time.0 -
the only time I've unfrieded anyone is when they post ALL the time and want support but they never give back any "wtg"....usually someone with a zillion friends that wants attention...I've whittled down to a really strong core group0
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I have kept friends that have fallen off the wagon; but when they were here, they were very supportive. Life happens, so when they come back, I'm still here to give them the same support they gave me. I have also deleted people who have logged in every day because they were not supportive. If I'm putting myself out there supporting you everyday, I'd hope my "friends" would care to do the same.
Yes, I'm here for ME, but we all need some kind of support - it's why we have friends. I look at it as a give and take relationship. Some people just like to take (and seldom ever give) and those are the people who can take from someone/somewhere else.0 -
My mama always said, "Mary, you're not going to like everybody you meet. And they're not all going to like you. It's life."
Your mama is a wise woman!! :flowerforyou:
She really is! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?
um, you can change your friends list to sort everyone by how long its been since they logged in- and by longest first- and you can just X out all the people that dont log in anymore. I have almost 3 hundred friends and every day I pick a letter of the alphabet and run around checking on all the A's & Q's or the G's, etc. I check their recent activity for the week, offer up some encouragement and give them praise or a private message or just tell them someone's got their back.
Being an MFP friend does not require anyone to comment on everything that another person posts... that's called creepy.
Also- why are you so concerned about how other people use a site on the internet - that you accuse them of having poor time management or being fake just because you dont choose to use the wesite the same way they do.
Thats more than a bit judgmental and, to be honest, douchey. Isnt there a better way to spend your time as well?
^^^Ummm you.. have ISSUES... Those unfortunately.. CANNOT be dieted away... lil defensive aren't we?? Ive seen WAAAYYYY more offending jokes and things said than what I did.. and ummm yeah.. I don't have time to run around looking for sorting buttons or classifying people by the MFP's A,B,C's... I'm ever so sorry.... not...
sn:// some people on here are waaaayyyyyy creeepyyy... *checks to see if they have a *block or hide button* while I have a few moments...
good luck with life and stuff.
I'm glad you edited that...I've seen many of your posts...and that one was beneath you.0 -
I used to shy away from the delete button, but just lately I've probably been a little harsh!
I have some amazing friends on my list, who I connect really well with... and I wouldn't delete them even if they didn't log in for a month. However... if someone that I haven't managed to make any kind of connection with appears to have fallen off the radar, then what's the point in having them as a friend? I don't know them personally, I haven't felt connected to them in any way and I doubt they even notice my absense if I delete them.
I've also had to be strong and delete anyone that doesn't 'fit' into my own goals. That could be seen as very harsh by some, but after a couple of months of my newsfeed filling up with people netting 500 calories a day, taking diet pills or crying over being 10 calories over goal... I have to do it for my own sanity! I'm here for me, nobody else. Sure, I'll support and encourage people along the way, but if those people start doing my head in they're gone! I don't need the negativity when I am trying to stay in a positive frame of mind myself.0 -
I never delete anyone. How can someone who isn't being active "clog" up your friend's list? It's not like they are posting anything. *shrugs*
^This. If a friend disappears for a couple of days, weeks, months, whatever, it's not like they're clogging up your feed, or taking up too much of your time.
Well there is a limit on MFP, though I think they raised it. My thing is that I just want my friends to share in my committment. As I said, I accept everybody that sends me an FR. Some want to interact, some just want to watch my diary or my program. If we never interacted and you just watched my diary, and now you are gone for a month, why should I wait for you to return? I'm moving forward with my health and fitness using this site. If you are gone 30 days, you are obviously making different choices. Therefore, we no longer have the commonality that made us friends in the first place. Going to your list and seeing where friend after friend has abandoned their program can be a little demotivating.0 -
I've also had to be strong and delete anyone that doesn't 'fit' into my own goals. That could be seen as very harsh by some, but after a couple of months of my newsfeed filling up with people netting 500 calories a day, taking diet pills or crying over being 10 calories over goal... I have to do it for my own sanity! I'm here for me, nobody else. Sure, I'll support and encourage people along the way, but if those people start doing my head in they're gone! I don't need the negativity when I am trying to stay in a positive frame of mind myself.
This is a very valid reason for deleting someone.0 -
If You Are Absent During My Struggle, Don’t Expect To Be Present During My Success"
I love this quote that I saw recently. And I'm here for support, whether I'm having an awesome week, or a crappy week. I have found that for the most part, the ones who are here to get muscles for competition or whatnot, are here for only that. And the ones that are here to lose the weight because they are morbidly obese (myself included) are here for it no matter what...okay...that totally didn't come out the way I meant...
You see, I have been overweight since the pregnancy of my first child. Before that I was pretty skinny...not physically in shape, I couldn't run to save my life...but I was skinny. Now that I have struggled with weight issues for 14 years, I know that there WILL be down times when my depression gets the best of me and I'm sorry if that doesn't fit other people's "requirments" to be on their friends list. If I'm MIA because my depression got to me and all of a sudden someone is gone from my friends list...good riddance. Because for me, I need the most support when I'm down...not when I'm doing well and posting and logging daily.
So really, you shouldn't even concern yourself with the likes of those kinds of people because really, they didn't deserve to be in your support system to begin with.0 -
:bigsmile: Right on girl !! Usually when I don't see people log on for a while I send little messages to try to encourage them I don't delete them..I thought that was the point why we are here is to help one another not some popularity contest...Life is too short and I find it is better to be kind and who knows maybe I just might have helped someone who needed it so cheers to you :flowerforyou:0
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Normally if someone is 'off' for a month or more, they are not participating. I limit the size of my list to folks who participate (except for vacation time or other reason they mention ahead of time). I don't worry if they don't interact with me personally daily, but I can't help them if they never log in. I usually try and send a message a little while before I 'pull the plug'. If they come back on line, they can always re-friend me.0
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You know, the last 2 weeks have been extremely stressful for me, and I have not been logging or eating like I should. If people deleted me for it, I'd completely understnad because I know i wouldn't want a friend like me.
I want all my frineds to be active, and I'd imagine them to want the same.0
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