When people unfriend you, for being human!!

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Replies

  • AmandaLAcosta
    AmandaLAcosta Posts: 87
    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:



    Totally agree!







    Ditto!
  • i_miss_donuts
    i_miss_donuts Posts: 180 Member
    I went on vacation out of the country for a week and someone unfriended me because I didn't log in (hello? no internet access!). Whatever - clearly not the type of person who is going to support you anyway!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    I give them 30 days. Once a month I clean out the ones who are over 30 days with no activity. If MFP was important to them, they'd log in. If not, and their other life ventures are more important, then why bug out if someone here deletes you for not holding it as important to them?
    Sounds more like you don't handle rejection very well. Buck up.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    I like seeing all my friends in the green.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Frankly, I don't even notice when people delete me *LOL* No clue how many friends I have and take zero offense at being deleted *shrug* To each their own... I'm just hear for the wine.
  • slimgal613
    slimgal613 Posts: 52 Member
    How close are you to these people anyway? If someone on here deletes me, I don't care, because the people with whom I have a strong bond would never do that.


    I agree wth this ^^^
    :smile:
  • wyze
    wyze Posts: 248
    @ OP, i understand where you are coming from, but i have to say that i am one of those people who delete others if they do not log in for a while (usually a month or 2. i never delete until it has been atleast a month) or do not show any sign of activity. I do not do this because i am perfect, on the contrary we all have issues, but if you have not logged in for a month and you have not left a comment on your page or updated your weight loss or your status, how do i know you are still on here or working?

    People add friends for motivation and support, if you are not here, then how do you expect people to receive motivation and support from you? I understand that life happens, no one is blaming anyone for that, and our hope is that things even out, but at the end of the day we cannot read peoples mind and if they are not doing the work on MFP, then for some of us, we get them off our list. Its not because we are trying to be mean. I also do not complain if i ever get deleted, people have different needs on their weightloss journey
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I delete people who are happy with no progress and lots of excuses that never comment on my activity ever.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    my goodness were not celebrity's.

    I can't speak for anyone else.... But you know I'm a pretty big deal in Germany.
  • JoniBologna
    JoniBologna Posts: 653 Member
    Piece of advice: Get. Over. It. I have unfriended people. People have unfriended me. I am extremely motivated and dedicated. Not looking for perfection, but for friends who are similar to me. Sounds like you need to reevaluate why you are even here in the first place.
  • Victoria2448
    Victoria2448 Posts: 559 Member
    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    Thanks for this post..I was wondering this same thing. I guess when I go on vacation, a lot of my friends will be dumping me.:laugh:
  • Jade17694
    Jade17694 Posts: 584 Member
    If any of my 'friends' delete me they werent worth having on my profile in the first place. I think some people like to just keep themselves to themselves and thats fine by me :)
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member



    I understand what your saying, however, my weight loss isn't based on if the people on my page log in or not.

    and along the same lines, your weight loss should not be affected by if people delete you or not.
  • TheFunBun
    TheFunBun Posts: 793 Member
    I haven't been here for long, but so far, I send a message on 3 days. If they haven't come back on ten, I'm contemplating deleting them. I probably will at a certain point because I'd like my friends list to be filled with people who are similar to me.

    I don't want to have starvation friends and I don't want to have always-fall-off-the-wagon friends, because the habits of those you surround yourself with often become your own habits. I want honest people who sometimes suck, but don't always talk about "tomorrow's a new day" because that nonsense is contagious! I want friends who believe physical activity is a lifetime love, not a something you do to lose weight and I want friends who sometimes struggle with their love to eat as well.

    I have the right to choose who I want to fill up my friends list and I choose people like me! People like me log in.. or at least email back after a while.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    my goodness were not celebrity's.

    I can't speak for anyone else.... But you know I'm a pretty big deal in Germany.

    hahhaaaaaa
  • Mera_Mera
    Mera_Mera Posts: 153
    I think it's stupid, too. I would delete someone if I know that their attitude is being detrimental to my healthy lifestyle. 'Nough said.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    You have 30 days with me....

    I will send you a "Come back and play with me" message if it pops on my newsfeed...

    **Sally1234 hasn't logged in for 30 days. She may need some encouragement.**

    I want to play, interact, encourage and motivate you. I want you to do the same.

    If that makes me an attention *kitten*....so be it..:bigsmile:

    Good luck on your journey :flowerforyou:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I don't delete unless you are MIA for more than 30 days. If you don't return in a month, then I figure you either aren't coming back or you will end up starting your journey over anyway. I usually will visit those friends walls at least once or twice to encourage them to come back and check in before I delete them.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    I'm up to seven pages of friends, and unless I watch my news feed every minute, I can't do justice to all of them. This place isn't like FB, and I have to make a conscious effort to find lost threads on friends' news feeds to keep conversations going. A don't want casual acquaintances, as much as I want friends I get to know as people.

    At least every couple of days, I sit down to my friends list, and go through every single one to catch up with what they are doing. I try to comment in a unique and personal way on each friend's page whenever I can. It takes me at least two hours to do this with all my friends. I enjoy it, and it's not a chore, but it does get me thinking about people who don't log in or make any effort to reciprocate.

    People do this MFP thing in their own unique ways. Some like a lot of acquaintances and treat the social part of this place casually. Others, like me, enjoy knowing their friends here in a bit more detail. I find that the longer I am here, the more I realize that my needs change as I do over time, and I need to respect that. When I first came here, it was the more the merrier, but now I know that favors superficial contact, and that doesn't do much for me.
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    No one may like this.... but

    I too, am one of those people who delete others that have "disappeared". For every alert MFP sends me on a MIA friend, I'll send, "Hey girl? Where are you, come back!" or "Hang in there!" or "Don't lose hope!".

    If these messages to bring people back to MFP does nothing to motivate them, then nothing will. Support on this site is a 2 way street. If you expect support but give nothing in return, it's a drain for me. I take the time to read my friends blogs, status updates and encourage them anyway I can.

    If you disappear off the face of MFP, then naturally I will delete you.

    THIS!!!!

    Your friends are supposed to be more committed to you, than you are to MFP?

    hmmm.....
  • Elizadolots
    Elizadolots Posts: 178
    I had a very small number of friends on here (less than 10). I deleted most of them one day when I came to the realization I was the only one in the mix providing support and encouragement. I want to have MFP friends who will acknowledge, encourage, support and comment on my achievements (because that's what friends do) so while it may seem "mean" it's kind of an expectation of mine. :ohwell:

    I feel exactly the same. I'd rather have a small number of friends but I want all of them to count, and like to keep up to date with their progress. If someone hasn't logged in for a month I doubt they'll come back anyway.

    Don't feel it is personal against you, we all have our quirks and preferences!
  • staps065
    staps065 Posts: 837 Member
    I generally give people about 30 days or inactivity before I remove them from my list. That is unless I know they are moving, are going on vacations, etc.... But once they just disappear for more than 30 days, I delete them; if I think about it....
  • thepanttherlady
    thepanttherlady Posts: 258 Member
    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    I ask you the same question, Is YOUR weight loss based on who's "friend" list you're on?

    I've been deleted by people as well, and guess what? I'm still here, AND I've continued to lose weight despite it. :wink:
  • k0nfyo0zed
    k0nfyo0zed Posts: 313 Member
    eh, i lost friends cause i was questioning my plan as to whether i should be eating more than 1700 calories a day with as active as i am and subsequently decided to up my calories. people are weird.
  • SwtKittN
    SwtKittN Posts: 176 Member
    Well you do have 216 friends :ohwell: Honestly if it was someone I didn't interact with and they kept disappearing I'd delete them too. If they can't offer me support while I'm constantly giving it to them, then they can have the boot. Come back when they get serious I can't make them lose weight and I need to pay attention to the friends I do have not the ones that have gone off and disappeared. I highly doubt you read everyone and respond to 216 different people.

    Now if I've had a friend for a month or more, and interacted with them all the time and they disappeared, I wouldn't delete them :P
  • GoldenGirl1979
    GoldenGirl1979 Posts: 716 Member
    hey sweets! i hear what you're saying... but this is everyone's personal journey... so if a person only wants to have people on their friends list who interact & log daily, can you blame them? after all it is THEIR page... those who choose not to delete inactive pals, have that option as well b/c it's THEIR page...

    so, rather than name calling guys (i've seen mfp police, they think they're celebrities, etc) just manage your page as you would want to & respect other people's right to do the same!

    love ya much & glad you're back :flowerforyou:
  • Sherie13
    Sherie13 Posts: 250 Member
    How close are you to these people anyway? If someone on here deletes me, I don't care, because the people with whom I have a strong bond would never do that.

    This! If someone deletes you... so be it. Their loss anyway. :wink:
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
    I delete if someone hasn't logged in in 3 weeks without guilt.
  • DiannaMoorer
    DiannaMoorer Posts: 783 Member
    I have to say, you know when people are real. I fell into a slump for about two months, but still checking into MFP here and there, I noticed I lost a few "friends" and that is fine. But here is my thing, real support is when people stick around in the bad not just when your doing good. And who made anyone the chief of perfection, just because someone doesn't log in or has some set backs I do not delete them, you don't know what anyone's personal struggles are. People trip me out with this, "If you don't log in daily I will delete you" Seriously, is your weight loss based on if someone else logs in or not, I am here whether you log in or not. Be humble, my goodness were not celebrity's.

    Thanks for this post..I was wondering this same thing. I guess when I go on vacation, a lot of my friends will be dumping me.:laugh:




    I wont! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    Well you do have 216 friends :ohwell: Honestly if it was someone I didn't interact with and they kept disappearing I'd delete them too. If they can't offer me support while I'm constantly giving it to them, then they can have the boot. Come back when they get serious I can't make them lose weight and I need to pay attention to the friends I do have not the ones that have gone off and disappeared. I highly doubt you read everyone and respond to 216 different people.

    Now if I've had a friend for a month or more, and interacted with them all the time and they disappeared, I wouldn't delete them :P



    I wonder how many she had, that she's so upset about being deleted. LOL

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