When people unfriend you, for being human!!

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  • arkansascountrygirl
    arkansascountrygirl Posts: 234 Member
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    in all honesty I think people say if you haven't logged in daily etc what I say to that is that is so immature:) we have daily lives to lead also. we can't log in 24/7. I personally won't delete someone unless they make me uncomfortable or say degatory things. heres another one if you eat under a specfic amount of calories you do it all the time I will delete you. i've had those kinds too
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 572 Member
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    Most of the friends I have on my list let everyone know if they are going on holiday, or if they may not be around for a bit. And hey...it's cool. But....if you don't give me a warning and do not sign in for a week straight...you are getting deleted. I sign in everyday, no excuses...I want people on my friends list who do the same.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    No one may like this.... but

    I too, am one of those people who delete others that have "disappeared". For every alert MFP sends me on a MIA friend, I'll send, "Hey girl? Where are you, come back!" or "Hang in there!" or "Don't lose hope!".

    If these messages to bring people back to MFP does nothing to motivate them, then nothing will. Support on this site is a 2 way street. If you expect support but give nothing in return, it's a drain for me. I take the time to read my friends blogs, status updates and encourage them anyway I can.

    If you disappear off the face of MFP, then naturally I will delete you.

    THIS!!!!

    Your friends are supposed to be more committed to you, than you are to MFP?

    hmmm.....

    ding ding ding!

    also... I feel it is only fair to tell you, and I mean this as nicely as possible- but losing weight and getting in shape and healthy is, at the end of every day, a solitary journey. Its just you. No one can take you and no one can tag along. Its just you. Its always going to be just you. Having encouragement is nice- but evn then- its YOU that stands up and DOES.

    You are no one's puppet.

    You are focusing on the wrong things.
  • amysol
    amysol Posts: 83 Member
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    I hear ya! It doesn't seem really supportive!
  • xSophia19
    xSophia19 Posts: 1,536 Member
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    I can totally relate to this! Alot of people have unfriended me for being human!:laugh: There loss!:smile:
  • Kincar
    Kincar Posts: 601 Member
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    I'm with you both on this. If they've NEVER said a word to me and I'm constantly making an attempt to be friends and encourage than I'm not going to waste my time anymore. Right now I have a whole list of wonderful supportive friends.
    I understand vacations and family issues but if they have never bothered to say anything than I'm not keeping them around.
    This isn't even necessarily for people who don't log in, I've deleted people who log in everyday.


    ***I don't know what I did wrong to make this part below in quotes, and I can't fix it.***

    This is me too. I'm not here to collect friends. I am looking for support. If someone never comments then why be friends? They don't have to comment on every one of my posts or even most. Once in a while is fine by me. But if they never comment on anyone's posts they aren't the type of support I'm looking for. Deleting these types helps keep my friends list manageable for me. I have a great list of friends.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    Sorry. I'm one of those who delete those who don't log in... And I delete those who DO log it --- But never interact with me and provide encouragement. That is all. I do the same for pretty much majority of them on my list... And I refuse to continue to take the time out to support people and they never return the favor. I also state in my profile I am nice and I like to interact. So if a person knows in advance that they don't interact or ever stay on MFP then they should not even send me a request. I've been a very long ACTIVE MFP member so I still take my support and encouragement to others seriously.

    :)
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?

    Good questions!
    I don't have friends, but no I don't have a job or life, and sometimes I wonder if I'm a figment of my own imagination.
  • Kincar
    Kincar Posts: 601 Member
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    Deleted repeated post.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    I have logged for the last 500 days everyday. I want friends that are not trying but doing this. When I see someone not logging for 3 days, I delete them. If it makes me a snob ...then so be it. I have amazing friends.

    This, minus the 500 days part. I tend to dispense with negative influences in all aspects of my life fairly quickly.

    Ditto.
    If I don't share anything with you after friending you, or if there is a lot of negativity, or if you simply drop off the face of the earth...this sounds harsh, but what's the point of keeping you on my friends list? I like to surround myself with like minded individuals so that when I start to fall down, they can help bring me back to my feet and they inspire me to keep pushing.

    And, yes, I do this in real life and on facebook.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?

    um, you can change your friends list to sort everyone by how long its been since they logged in- and by longest first- and you can just X out all the people that dont log in anymore. I have almost 3 hundred friends and every day I pick a letter of the alphabet and run around checking on all the A's & Q's or the G's, etc. I check their recent activity for the week, offer up some encouragement and give them praise or a private message or just tell them someone's got their back.

    Being an MFP friend does not require anyone to comment on everything that another person posts... that's called creepy.

    Also- why are you so concerned about how other people use a site on the internet - that you accuse them of having poor time management or being fake just because you dont choose to use the wesite the same way they do.

    Thats more than a bit judgmental and, to be honest, douchey. Isnt there a better way to spend your time as well?
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I'm trying to figure out how half of you have the time to troll your friends list to see who is logging in and who isn't... I can barely keep up with the few I have, so those of you who have 100's.. do you REALLY actually Good Job, WTG, Happy 30th,50th,90th check in to EVERY ONE of those HUNDREDS of friends you have? .. answer everyone's questions, participate on everyones thread, everyday??!!?? Do you have jobs? Do you have lives? Are you real people?

    I don't comment on everyone. I comment on the one's that I actually see. It says on my profile that I accept everyone, I have a lot of friends, and I may not be able to interact with you as much as you would like... if that is a problem for you, please do not request.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    I tend to unfriend those that go over a month. I'll send them a message telling them that when they're ready to get back at it to let me know...but I don't care to have inactives on my list either. If you're not around for a month, you're not dedicated.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I tend to unfriend those that go over a month. I'll send them a message telling them that when they're ready to get back at it to let me know...but I don't care to have inactives on my list either. If you're not around for a month, you're not dedicated.

    yeah I have no problem friending people that come back and try again.
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
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    It is their loss if they delete you. Just keep kicking *kitten* and really, those that stuck around will be there to support you and to receive your amazing support. Screw Everyone else... They don't care, why should you.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
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    I admire people who would stick with you through thick or thin (no pun intended). That's why I don't accept friend requests. It has nothing to do with personally rejecting someone. It has to do with the fact I'm not very good at supporting others, and when others give me praise, it distracts my focus. So, I don't want to just have a long list of friends, just for the sake of having friends. I have seen some very supportive and generous people here, so I'm sure you will weed out the ones that don't help you and have a good support group. That's the beauty of MFP. There is something for everyone. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

    I am similar, but I do have some friends (but for various reasons). I'm not a very supportive friend unless I know they need the support. Even then, I'm not one to comment on every status update they post. Some of my friends are for entertainment and amusement, some are because they wanted similar friends (weight loss twins), a few are from various groups I'm, one is an IRL friend, two are family members, and one is a LARP efriend. I try to log on every day, but if some of my friends don't it's okay. But if they are missing for a long time (over a month on at least 2 occasions, sometimes less depending on how we interacted/ the type of "friendship/relationship" we had and if I know they are going to be away), then I don't feel bad for deleting them.

    Supportive friends are nice, but I'm not looking for a diehard cheerleader. Ultimately this is my weight loss journey and it falls on me to keep myself in check. Do I eat "crap" as another person mentioned? Yes, but normally in moderation. Do I have days where I'm not my best? Yes, I'm human. My "friends" probably don't know everything that is going on in my life (and I'm not so narcissistic that I have to tell them everything), but if one deletes me, so be it. It isn't going to hurt my feelings.
  • Morgan01962
    Morgan01962 Posts: 6
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    If a friend did not log for awhile, then why wouldn't you message them and see what's up???? That's what a friend should do.
    :flowerforyou:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    It is their loss if they delete you. Just keep kicking *kitten* and really, those that stuck around will be there to support you and to receive your amazing support. Screw Everyone else... They don't care, why should you.

    this is the same kind of advice as you get when someone doesn't like you because of your personality and all your enabler friends tell you its just cause they are 'jealous'.
  • asugar
    asugar Posts: 181 Member
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    I wouldn't take it personally. I had less than 10 friends and one day I just deleted them all recently. It had nothing to do with the friends it was about me not wanting all the clutter and tons of comments to read through. I figure if I can't do this thing on my own, then I can't do it. Also to be honest... when I read whining I usually delete or hide that person.
  • beduffbrickie
    beduffbrickie Posts: 642 Member
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    proverbs31chick did you get the answer you were looking for then?

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