CHEESY JOKES THREAD

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12357…13

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  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
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    These are making me laugh WAY too much... :huh: :laugh:


    What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman?

    A brush with the law!
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
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    My 8 year old wants to add one...

    Why did the football coach go to the bank?
    To get his quarterback!
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    What did the blonde say when her doctor told her she was pregnant? ... Is it mine?
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
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    What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De-calf-inated
  • SeanNJ
    SeanNJ Posts: 153 Member
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    I'll see if I can clean this one up a bit.

    An elephant and an ant are walking down the street, and the elephant falls into a hole. The ant says, "Be right back." He returns with a Corvette, ties a rope to the bumper, throws the rope in the hole and pulls the elephant out.

    They continue on, and this time it's the ant that falls in a hole. The elephant lowers his...*ahem* equipment...into the hole, and the ant climbs out.

    The moral of the story? If you have big...*ahem* equipment...you don't need a Corvette.
  • rotnkat
    rotnkat Posts: 393 Member
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    69 used to be my favorite #, but now it's 77.

    Because you get ate (8) more.
  • Deanthedog
    Deanthedog Posts: 122 Member
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    where do fish keep there money ?


    in the river bank
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    69 used to be my favorite #, but now it's 77.

    Because you get ate (8) more.

    haha


    what's wrong with 6.9?

    it's a great thing ruined by a period
  • Scoobiesnax
    Scoobiesnax Posts: 148 Member
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    A bear and a rabbit are squatting in the woods beside each other, taking their morning dump. The bear looks at the rabbit and says "Don't you just hate when it sticks to your fur afterwards ?". To which the rabbit replies "Actually, rabbits are quite fortunate. . We've been genetically designed so that we never have that problem". The bear ponders this for a moment, then wipes his butt with the rabbit.
  • Scoobiesnax
    Scoobiesnax Posts: 148 Member
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    2 baby seals walk into a club...
  • healthychx
    healthychx Posts: 8 Member
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    A mushroom walks into a bar and hops up onto a stool.

    The bartender says, "We don't serve ur kind here".

    The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi".
  • Scoobiesnax
    Scoobiesnax Posts: 148 Member
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    What did the fish say when it hit a wall?


    Dam


    BAHAHA !!!
  • CoachDave2012
    CoachDave2012 Posts: 34 Member
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    What do you get when you cross Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel?

    Either a great looking kid with incredible music talent...
    or
    a kid who's not too bright and looks like a bassett hound.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
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    what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile?

    get in the batmobile robin
  • deedeetris
    deedeetris Posts: 207 Member
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    Thanks for all the laughs--ok here I go:

    What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging by the window? Kurt 'n Rod

    A skeleton walks in to a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."


    By the way, I loved the Knock, knock/get in the van and the girl with two black eyes!! Totally politically incorrect--=--story of my life!!
  • KristenStone
    KristenStone Posts: 106 Member
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    You got any crackers?





    no? So you're cracka-lackin?


    Haha I'm lame.


    How about this one? Wanna hear a joke about a hawk?


    Hawkward....
    (It works best at an awkward moment. :))
  • HardcorePork
    HardcorePork Posts: 109 Member
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    My gf loves me cause I'm foreign...

    But you're from Nebraska...

    Yea. But she says I have Roman hands and Russian fingers
  • deedeetris
    deedeetris Posts: 207 Member
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    This is courtesy of a Laffy Taffy:

    What were Tarzan's famous last words? "Who greased the vine?"
  • b3kah5
    b3kah5 Posts: 280 Member
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    What do u call a deer with no eyes?

    No idea.

    An oldie but a goodie

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    Still no idear
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    How about this one? Wanna hear a joke about a hawk?


    Hawkward....
    (It works best at an awkward moment. :))

    HOLY HELL I'm stealing this

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