CHEESY JOKES THREAD
Replies
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What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Most kids won't eat broccoli!0 -
why do seagulls live by the sea?
if the lived by the bay they would be bagels!0 -
What special team did the Police put together to combat insects?
The SWAT team!0 -
What do you call a pig that knows Karate?
A pork chop!0 -
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!0 -
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About halfway! hehe0 -
Just received this from a friend. enjoy. not really jokes but good anyway.
When a chemist dies, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. However, he says he can stop any
time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny ¬ period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police
have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro is a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.0 -
Courtesy of my 5 y/o:
Child: Why did the chicken sit on the nest? Adult: i don't know why? Child: Because he didn't have a chair!!!! (followed by hilarious laughing).
:bigsmile:0 -
What do you cal a brunette and three blondes on a street corner? Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
That one is kinda dated...think pizza hut.
lol... i remember that.....0 -
What do you say if you see a blind dinosaur
Doyouthinkhesaurus0 -
What's the difference between roast pork and pea soup??
-Anyone can roast a pork...0 -
What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer!0
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did you hear about the constipated mathmatician? he worked it out with a pencil.
hee, hee, hee!!0 -
A duck walks into a drug store and asks if they have Chapstick. When the cashier reaches for a tube of it, the duck says "Put it on my bill."0
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What do you get when you mix a pen!s and a potato? A dic-tator.0
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How do you get a tissue to dance?
Put a little boogey in it!0 -
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
... Dung.
What's red and goes up and down?
...A cranberry in an elevator.
How to you catch a rabbit?
... Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a carrot.0 -
I recall that one about the nuns doing push-ups in the cucumber patch.....it was terrible :noway:
That was just over the top.
I am thankful it was removed.0 -
ah, i can't forget my all-time favorite (thank you laffy taffy wrapper)!
what is the best time to go to the dentist?
tooth-hurty.
had to steal that one. HILARIOUS!!!!0 -
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fshhh
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because he felt crumby
A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vender and says, "Make me one with everything."0 -
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "Hey! Why the long face?"0
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What's the difference between a job and a wife? Ten years later the job still sucks.0
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How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.0
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how many men does it take to spread a drive way?
only one if you spread him real thin.
:0)0 -
Whats the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in church?
The woman in church has a soul full of hope.0 -
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.0
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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
... To get to the bottom!0 -
My favorite joke as a child:
Me: What are you eating under there?
Victim: Under Where?
Me: Ewww you were eating underwear!?!?0 -
what do you call fake spagetti?
an Impasta!0 -
Did you know that sex is considered a misdemeanor........the more I miss da meaner I get!!0
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