Bully

DieVixen

I dont have the type of pesonality that bullies target,its no fun being mean to someone that really just does not care.

bluefox9er

It's true that bullying is something that happens to anyone at anytime and not just restricted to the school yard.

I have had an abusive boss that have bullied me relentlessly and I was submissive to his hatred. one day, I had enough...yeah, 2 wrongs do not make a right but I confronted one particular boss and threatened to kill him if he didn't resign from his job by the end of the week.

I was amazed that he did, because I was at such a low point in terms of my mental health ALL DOWN TO HIM that I actually believed I would have carried out my action. I reasoned and explained to him in extremely calm fashion that I am suicidal because of his unrelenting and torrential abuse, of verbal insults about my ( high) performance in my job to personal, then racial. I also explained that him stopping his hatred would not be an acceptable solution, and neither would me leaving my job...unless i went to jail. I also explained to him in minute detail every single incident when he abused me after our HR department at work failed to help or pay attention. I had the nous to record every single incident with dates and times and kept a log of his phone calls.

He promised to stop, but by then, the ship had sailed and I had to say that either he left the company..or he leaves Planet earth for good. He mocked my threat but soon realised I wasn't kidding when he saw the guys that were friends of friends waiting in the car parked outside his house. He resigned the next morning.

Our paths have subsequently crossed and I took my opportunity to remind him that if I even hear of him abusing people under his care again, that i would be on him like a shot. It shocked me to see how afraid he was of ME when i did that.

I reflect often on how he reduced me to a mere nothing, devoid of any confidence and a person that was living every second of every day in abject fear...I seriously contemplated suicide.

Sometimes, a bully only understands the language that they speak and understand..and that is the language of fear...so that is the language I had to speak to him in, knowing that I now had nothing to lose...i'd either kill myself or go to jail for killing him...that is the true depth of my feelings and ability to distinguish what is right and wrong. All I knew was that my life cannot continue with him in it, one way or another.

I also informed the Police of this conversation and was happy to give them a recording of it, such was my anxiety and fear in ending this misery and tournament for once and for all. To my utmost surprise, a police officer wanted to hear it, he laughed and said ' well, i'm betting thats the end of that'...whilst I was thinking I'd go to jail.

Bullying by children is even worse..kids don't know what they put other kids through...but adults do it in a far more cold and calculating manner. But to see a child having to face demons reduces me to tears whenever I hear of it..it's a total violation of a young person's ambitions,happiness, innocence and security..something I believe we should preserve at any cost.

This form of hatred is every bit as despicable to me as homophobia and racism and has no place in our society.

livinginwoods

I am the Children's Coordinator and also one of the Teen Youth group leaders at my church. I deal with kids who get bullied a lot. I would say more than half of my prayer requests are from kids who are getting bullied. I also deal with bullies. Many of which come from pretty awful homes. That is no excuse but we are working with them. I had one girl come to me last night in tears saying every single day she goes home and cries for hours and sometimes thinks about killing herself because of how she is bullied. It is heart breaking. (yes we do take action when this happens) There have been a few lessons gone astray because God led me to talk about bullying. Our school district just blows off the bullying that goes on. Many parents are blind to the fact also. Their perfect kid could NEVER do or say anything wrong. :explode: You also have the parents where their kids are "drama queens" and the bullying isn't really all that bad and the kids need to learn to suck it up.....that also boils my blood. :noway:

emstaley4

I personally was not bullied in school. Even though I had severe scoliosis and had to wear a brace that went from my neck all the way to my upper thighs to keep me rod straight. I went to a small private Catholic school and had a good group of friends. When I had to ride the bus after we moved...well, that was another story. There was one boy who was just a jerk but no one else ever really gave me a hard time that I can remember. Infact, other kids used to stick up for me when this kid would say anything to me.
I tended to be alot like OH_matt's son...helpful and kind to other kids with disabilities or who were different. Not just because I had a physical issue but because that is how I was raised. To be kind and not be mean or judge other kids based on how they looked, dressed or where they lived. My family was poor. We did not get all the "extras" that other kids got. I got one pair of sneakers and one pair of dress shoes for the whole school year.
Today almost everyone (well alot of people) goes into debt to buy, buy, buy and I think (and this just my opinion) that this has created alot of self-centered, entitled feeling brats. I see kids I went to school with and how their kids behave and I'll tell you that I wouldn't tolerate the way those speak to their moms and dads but yet in their parent's eyes they can do no wrong. I talk to my kids about bullying all the time and have raised them to treat ALL kids with respect and if they are not respected back; then those are the kids they are to stay away from. I'm not raising door mats nor am I raising martyrs.
When my daughter was 6 she had a "friend" tell her that if she (my daughter) didn't do something this girl wanted her to do then she wasn't going to be my daughter's friend anymore. I heard my daughter say "so? I have plenty of friends and I'm not going to do what I don't want to do" I was so proud of her but also sad that at 6 she had to deal with that crap already.
Since we homeschool we don't run into bullying on a regular basis but it does happen in group settings. You always get those one or two kids who just have to be in charge or are just mean and we deal with it the best we can and move on. It is the parents fault their kids are bullies, and I do think that bullying is worse today than 10 or 20 years ago. It's a different way of upbringing and looking at the world now and with technology just makes it easier for kids to be mean to each other. Anyway........kids are naturally self-centered and you can show them all the movies you want and make them take classes and read books, but if they don't think it applies to them they aren't going to get the message....I know I was a teenager once...eons ago, in the age of dinosaurs....way, way, way back in the olden days!!! LOL

ladybg81

I was teased for being so tall but never bullied. But I did sit back idilly and watch kids get bullied. One so bad he killed himself; at school. I now have a 3 year old and I swear, I am going to do my best to make sure he is prepared for anything life may throw at him. I also want him to understand that we respect one another fully, no matter what. Time will tell how I do I suppose.

MaraDiaz

I'm amazed you got away with that, bluefox. I wouldn't dare try it. My last boss was a bully, I quit my job because of it and haven't been able to work since. That was several years ago. It triggered social phobia to the point where I don't even like to go to the grocery store, haven't gone out with friends in years, and have only been in a restaurant two or three times.

But I won't kill him or threaten to. Not because the Earth needs him walking around on it, I'd be delighted if he was dead, but because he isn't worth the prison sentence. And he's such a low and disgusting human being that I think it's crueler to let him live with himself anyway.

mdsjmom98

My son was diagnosed at 4 as ADHD. He endured over 7 school years of bullying. He was small as a freshman, barely weighing in at 100 lbs and 5'2" The summer between his freshman and sophomore years, he grew 6 inches, and put on 60 lbs. He was unrecognizable when he returned to school his sophomore year. People started to be nicer to him, accept him a little more, but unfortunately for him, the damage was done. While he was not mean to them, any gesture of kindness they made to him he rebuked. They asked him to hang out, he turned them down due to 7 years of teasing and abuse.

His senior year, he was beaten so badly he almost died. The doctor said if he had been hit 2-3 more times, he would've died. His face was smashed in, he had broken ribs, a broken nose, and a gash on his head requiring stitches. The boy jumped him from behind in the locker room. It took 4 boys to pull this kid off. The boy was never disciplined, not even by the school. As a result of this beating, he suffers from memory loss, and other effects. We have lost the carefree, fun loving child he use to be. Now he's moody, and angry most of the time. He doesn't get out, he will not socialize, he is very much a recluse. That bully stole my child from me, and while I know that I am supposed to forgive, I will never forgive this boy. I hate him with every fiber of my being.

Thanks for reading friends.

Candi8099

My friend has a boy that just turned 13 & has been getting bullied at school. They're going through the expulsion process as I type this because he "defended himself". I don't really know all of the details, but the kid was getting threatened by more than one boy, he hid in bathrooms, etc and he ended up bringing 2 pocket knives to school to scare them off. Mom & Dad just found out about the bullying when the knives were found. He's obviously in some serious trouble. (SCHOOLS HAVE A NO WEAPON POLICY, PERIOD) If anyone has any suggestions I could tell my friend, I'd be all ears....they have a meeting in front of the school board on Monday.

MaraDiaz

My son was diagnosed at 4 as ADHD. He endured over 7 school years of bullying. He was small as a freshman, barely weighing in at 100 lbs and 5'2" The summer between his freshman and sophomore years, he grew 6 inches, and put on 60 lbs. He was unrecognizable when he returned to school his sophomore year. People started to be nicer to him, accept him a little more, but unfortunately for him, the damage was done. While he was not mean to them, any gesture of kindness they made to him he rebuked. They asked him to hang out, he turned them down due to 7 years of teasing and abuse.

His senior year, he was beaten so badly he almost died. The doctor said if he had been hit 2-3 more times, he would've died. His face was smashed in, he had broken ribs, a broken nose, and a gash on his head requiring stitches. The boy jumped him from behind in the locker room. It took 4 boys to pull this kid off. The boy was never disciplined, not even by the school. As a result of this beating, he suffers from memory loss, and other effects. We have lost the carefree, fun loving child he use to be. Now he's moody, and angry most of the time. He doesn't get out, he will not socialize, he is very much a recluse. That bully stole my child from me, and while I know that I am supposed to forgive, I will never forgive this boy. I hate him with every fiber of my being.

Thanks for reading friends.

So horrible! I can't believe they didn't do anything to the kid. I don't even understand that. Why is this allowed to go on? Verbal abuse is bad enough, it can affect someone's whole life, but this is just ridiculous. I'd have sued the school and parents backward, forward, and sideways, and I'm not big on lawsuits. Wouldn't a lawyer take the case?

macpatti

I was never bullied and I wasn't ever a bully. However, I was the person who would tell the bullies to shut up and leave certain people alone. That's still in my personality. What I find interesting is how many times someone who constantly picks on others has told me I'm no better than they are when I tell the bullies to shut up, or I stick up for the other person. That all goes back to the reason certain people become bullies; they have their own self-esteem issues. I wish more kids would speak up against bullying that goes on!

neverstray

I've dealt with it to a smaller extent. Usually, I'm just stupid, and I stand up to them, so it never lasted long. I'd always wind up in a fight with them, and one of two things would happen, they'd turn into a big p@ssy, and run away or whatever. Or, we'd actually fight,a dn I would gain mad respect after that. I never put up with it for long, but it did happen to me once in a while.

As an example, in 5th grade, this guy would ask me for my lunch money everyday. This went on for about a week. One day, I got In a fight with him, that same day, he saw me walk into the bathroom, he walked in behind me and pulled out a screw driver to stab me. I told him that he better make sure he digs it in deep otherwise I'm gonna kill him. He laughed and backed down and never bothered me again. Stuff like that used to happen throughout my school years. Luckily, I never felt like a victim. But, I could see how it could happen if you weren't angry and pissed off, and had a heightened sense of badass in you. I wasn't. I was scrawny and weak. I just didn't put up with sh@t from anyone. But, the reason they picked on me was because I was always a little different. I don't quite fit in. Still don't.

JustJennie1

I was bullied a little bit as a kid but back then we just called it "being picked on". I bullied someone once in my entire life in forth grade. There was a new girl and she was weird and I went along with my "clique" and ganged up and made fun of her on the play ground. I knew it wasn't right and I felt bad doing it. We all got a talking to from the teacher and I actually ended up being friends with the girl.

I don't have any children but the things I hear about bullies now days is just heart breaking and ridiculous. It is so much worse than when I was in school. I mean the worst that happened to me was I got shoved up against the lockers a bunch of times, went to my guidance counselor, we had a sit-down meeting the three of us and that was it. Kids are brutal now days and in all honesty I can't help but blame the parents. I truly believe that if a child is a bully at least one parent is one as well and that's where they learn it from. They see their parent acting that way and think it's ok. I also think that some parents don't understand how serious the bullying is and think "Oh, just ignore it." when it's difficult for them to do that.

sculley

I was bullied as a child during my middle school years. That was harsh....

My poor son is getting it now because he is special needs, breaks my heart and I am trying to battle the school about getting him in a special class.

bcampbell54

I was bullied. I may have been a bully.
I believe the current interest in bullying is being brought about by adults attempting to re-litigate the pains of their own growing up.
I'll help my kids get through it, should it happen to them, but let's face it. It's a fact of life, and one should learn strategies to deal with it as early as they can.

FlyByJuly

I was "mildly" bullied by one girl from elementary school on into junior high. I think it was because I was so shy. She finally stopped bullying me around 8th grade. I'm not sure, but I think it was because none in her group of friends would participate with her. She had moved into the cheerleader/popular girl status, and the others in her clique were actually friendly girls. I think my bully finally realized that she was the one on the outside looking in this time.

Maude_Lewbowski

I was so horrifically bullied as a child and it, along with other factors in my life have cause me to develop PTSD. Yes, like our war vets get. IMHO it's devastating and I am glad to see that as a nation we're finally addressing it. Yes, we'll have nay sayers and those who take it too far in the other direction but, at a baseline this is something that needs to stop. It affects peoples lives far beyone the school yard, or the front yard for that matter.

Thanks for bringing this up, kudos to you!

Maude_Lewbowski

I was bullied. I may have been a bully.
I believe the current interest in bullying is being brought about by adults attempting to re-litigate the pains of their own growing up.
I'll help my kids get through it, should it happen to them, but let's face it. It's a fact of life, and one should learn strategies to deal with it as early as they can.

DISLIKE

Masterdo

Me and my brother were bullied quite badly throughout elementary school. It kinda stopped during high school though, we were lucky in the transition I guess (maybe it's because most bullies didn't make it pass elementary school the first time, lol)

Still, the blessing of the Internet nowadays gives bullying victims the upper hand after a few years. We had a pretty cruel session where we actually searched for these people, be in on Google or facebook. About 25% of them are in jail or even dead... (A particularly nasty pair of brothers really messed our childhood, one of them got beat to death over a drug deal, and the other one is in jail for 25+ ...). The remaining bullies are really getting nowhere and fast. We didn't enjoy it as much as we thought, we ended up feeling sorry for these guys, which is probably why we were victims in the first place

There is still some trace of satisfaction knowing that I graduate in a few days, and those guys can't spell University.

mdsjmom98

MaraDiaz - The local police wouldn't even prosecute the kid. And when we checked for lawyers to take our case (our medical bills exceeded $7,000) they said they couldn't take the case unless there was criminal charges filed. The reason my son was beaten up by this boy is because in pe class the boy was smacking freshmen, punching other kids while playing. My son, defending these freshmen, told the boy to knock it off, and confronted him. The police asked my son, as he's laying there bleeding, and can't even breathe out of his nose, if he hadn't confronted the boy does he think the boy would've attacked? My son said No, and the fat stupid cop stood up and said, We're done here, and walked out. A few days later, the well to do family this boy comes from sent some of their henchmen to threaten us by vandalizing our vehicle, and even sent a "mutual" friend to threaten us in person.

I have forgiven a lot of people in my life for wrongdoing, but I will NEVER forgive this boy for taking my son away from me.

MaraDiaz

I was so horrifically bullied as a child and it, along with other factors in my life have cause me to develop PTSD. Yes, like our war vets get. IMHO it's devastating and I am glad to see that as a nation we're finally addressing it. Yes, we'll have nay sayers and those who take it too far in the other direction but, at a baseline this is something that needs to stop. It affects peoples lives far beyone the school yard, or the front yard for that matter.

Thanks for bringing this up, kudos to you!

I asked my family doctor if being bullied for years could cause PTSD and he laughed at me! :mad:

10KEyes

so just wondering anyone dealt with bullying growing up, or even with their kids now??

I dealt with it a couple of times during my middle school years. As an adult have spent quite a few years in martial arts. When my son was young, I taught him that if someone physically attacks you to respond and shut them down, only if they physically attack him. I told him that words mean nothing and he should always try to avoid violence. However, it is his responsibility when his parents are not around to protect himself from physical harm and he should act immediately and swiftly to shut the threat down. I told him do not do any more than is necessary and certainly no less. Additionally, I told him to then tell the teacher afterwards and if he gets into trouble for defending himself at school, that is fine, he wouldn't be in trouble at home and that teachers don't protect you, they simply mop after it is over. Bullies do not attack when teachers are around.

As he got older and could understand morality and have empathy/compassion, I began teaching him our art which is weapons based but is easily applied to empty handed, so he is learning how to defend himself from weapon attacks as well as empty handed. He is in high school now and a good student, not a bully, and at 6' 5" he has not been victim of a bully in high school, but did experience some in Middle School. He is a cheerful young man who has a comedian streak and who is responsible, moral, and makes me proud every day!

Lastly, I do thoroughly enjoy seeing a bully get what he deserves!

k8blujay2

I was bullied as a kid... I was the smallest, I was a girl, and I was an enlisted officers kid.... yeah, not fun times riding the bus or even going to school sometimes... but people stopped messing with me when I started defending myself... Even if I would be the one that got caught...

ninerbuff

I was a nerdy kid growing up and distinctly remember being bullied by 2 guys. Other times I was just teased by being called "4 eyes" and "*****" (I'm not Chinese). I do think that most bullying originates from home life and last night at my daughters school they held a seminar on it in the cafeteria. My wife went to it since I had to instruct class, but she took a lot of notes on the information given.


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MaraDiaz

MaraDiaz - The local police wouldn't even prosecute the kid. And when we checked for lawyers to take our case (our medical bills exceeded $7,000) they said they couldn't take the case unless there was criminal charges filed. The reason my son was beaten up by this boy is because in pe class the boy was smacking freshmen, punching other kids while playing. My son, defending these freshmen, told the boy to knock it off, and confronted him. The police asked my son, as he's laying there bleeding, and can't even breathe out of his nose, if he hadn't confronted the boy does he think the boy would've attacked? My son said No, and the fat stupid cop stood up and said, We're done here, and walked out. A few days later, the well to do family this boy comes from sent some of their henchmen to threaten us by vandalizing our vehicle, and even sent a "mutual" friend to threaten us in person.

I have forgiven a lot of people in my life for wrongdoing, but I will NEVER forgive this boy for taking my son away from me.

That is sickening! I don't see why you can't sue the school for not supervising the kids and preventing a fight in the first darn place. Everyone is crying because there aren't enough jobs to go around? Fine, I say we should hire people to monitor these kids, since there obviously aren't enough adults to do it!

I'm so furious about this I don't even know what to say. I almost took a beating on the last day of Summer School (math fail!), there were thirty or forty girls outside waiting to beat me up. I started walking, didn't look right, didn't look left, and made it past them. If I'd stopped, exchanged words, tripped, or made eye contact, I would have been in deep trouble. I'm sorry to say our species needs to get a lot further away from our animal origins or good riddance if we nuke ourselves back to sticks and stones.

MayMaydoesntrun

Have y'all seen that show on MTV called Bully Beatdown? It is awesome. The bully gets his *kitten* handed to him by a MMA fighter. Love it.

wellbert

I was a bully... but I mostly bullied bullies, so that makes it OK, right?

1546mel

I think that the "good" kids are too scared to defend themselves anymore as people are getting expelled from school for fighting, so now they just take it and take it until it depresses them because they feel like there is nothing that they can do. I was bullied when i went to school, eventually smacked one kid in the face, and they started leaving me alone after that. My dad cheered me when i got home! My kids accept everyone for who they are, black, white, asian, handicap, mexican, whatever, and i encourage it. My son even introduced me to one kid at his school: "This is my friend _____. He has a special hand " The child had a deformed hand with odd fingers and it was pretty scary looking, but my son accepted it right away and made it special Both my kids are quick to comfort and give hugs and I do not think i have ever heard them make fun of anyone! (they are 4 and 7 about to be 5 and 8) THere are also a lot of families out there that are having kids and not paying attention to them, so they find other ways to get attention, especially in school, by bullying and making a name for themselves. Its sad.

10KEyes

It takes 7-9# of force to break a person's nose. No matter how "weak" a person is, if they can break their opponent's nose they stand a good chance of winning the fight. I've seen many bullies get their azz beat by picking on the wrong person. One thing they tend to forget is there is always someone stronger and better than they are out there. Be careful who you pick on.

Absolutely! Bullies often only understand one thing, force and violence! They usually cannot handle what they dish out!

The biggest problem is that the victim simply does not know what to do and is largely afraid of getting into trouble. They need to be reassured they aren't going to get into trouble (at least by anyone that matters) for defending themselves. Next is teaching them the "how to" and "when to", because they don't know what to do. I firmly believe this builds confidence. Most kids don't want to be violent, but sometimes it seems violence is all some understand.

JanetLM73

My son was diagnosed at 4 as ADHD. He endured over 7 school years of bullying. He was small as a freshman, barely weighing in at 100 lbs and 5'2" The summer between his freshman and sophomore years, he grew 6 inches, and put on 60 lbs. He was unrecognizable when he returned to school his sophomore year. People started to be nicer to him, accept him a little more, but unfortunately for him, the damage was done. While he was not mean to them, any gesture of kindness they made to him he rebuked. They asked him to hang out, he turned them down due to 7 years of teasing and abuse.

His senior year, he was beaten so badly he almost died. The doctor said if he had been hit 2-3 more times, he would've died. His face was smashed in, he had broken ribs, a broken nose, and a gash on his head requiring stitches. The boy jumped him from behind in the locker room. It took 4 boys to pull this kid off. The boy was never disciplined, not even by the school. As a result of this beating, he suffers from memory loss, and other effects. We have lost the carefree, fun loving child he use to be. Now he's moody, and angry most of the time. He doesn't get out, he will not socialize, he is very much a recluse. That bully stole my child from me, and while I know that I am supposed to forgive, I will never forgive this boy. I hate him with every fiber of my being.

Thanks for reading friends.

Your post made me cry. I have a 13 year old son who is the size of a 8 year old, he is tiny for his age and is seeing an endocrinologist, on top of it he suffers from terrible anxiety. I'm terrified when he is goes to high school in 2 years. He has been at the same school since jk, so he's grown up with the same kids, but it'll be different once it's time to go to high school.
I'm so afraid that he is going to get bullied.

Some kids are so cruel, I was bullied for having red hair....the girls were pure evil.

10KEyes

Have y'all seen that show on MTV called Bully Beatdown? It is awesome. The bully gets his *kitten* handed to him by a MMA fighter. Love it.

Yes, it is a great show. However, I think it is a bit contrived.