Bully

Bikini27

I was bullied a lot through middle school and through freshman year of high school.
Then I got mad.
They quit bullying me because I wouldn't give them the inch to do it anymore. So they started attacking my friends. Which is similar to teasing a momma bear's cubs. Needless to say, after the second time they left us all alone.

I don't condone starting fights to show who's boss.
I condone protecting you and yours.
And criminal punishment for constant harrassment, especially online.

cmbrysonussery

I was never bullied, but I was definitely "different". I was slightly overweight all through childhood, incredibly quiet, read my books all the time (in class, at lunch, at recess). I don't know how I wasn't bullied, I guess I was good at being "invisible".

I'm teaching now, and am shocked at some of the bullying that goes on.

JackieLM

My daughter gets bullied all the time. For the last 4 years. At first it was a girl in 2nd grade so I ended up pulling her out of that school because the teacher was bullying her too... the teacher called her skinny as a pencil, then nicknamed her pencil girl. I am a teacher and it is NEVER okay to give students nick names based on appearances. She became very concerned with her weight (which was normal range)... but that was all just the teacher. Then when she got into 3rd grade at the new school there was a group of 3/4 girls that always gave her a hard time and because she is always trying to be nice to everyone kept trying to be there friends. Needless to say, she is going to a different school then those girls next year and I am hoping that it will help because talking to the school admin isn't working... and as a teacher, I know that teachers and admins hands are tied because if we don't see it or hear it, there is NOTHING we can do.... parents and students have all the power these days and unless you teach at a private school, well.... it's just sad. She is a very beautiful girl, great looks, she is funny, smart, and makes friends easy, so I am sure these kids are just jealous but I am sick of it.

Busyboymomx3

I was always the one to stick up for the bullied (my brother was bullied terribly- actually had his front tooth knocked out when he was 11) when I was a freshman there was this one girl that had such a big mouth and just picked and picked at me so I got tired and punched her in the face a few times- then cried and helped her to the nurses office. I wasnt a target ever again and to this day will tell someone to shut the hell up if they are being rude or mean to someone else. lifes too short to hate.

Judanjos

I was bullied as a child, I was carefree and social and I never experienced discrimination or cruelty until I was five and moved to the states from Brazil. The kids talked about me in the back of the class and I started to realize there were clicks. Eventually, and sooner than later I wised up and became more reclusive. I was trapped in the bathroom once by three older girls. I was in third grade and the rage overflowed. The girl who tried to hurt me...Head...meet bathroom sink. It was my first and last fight...I won. I was left alone.

A few more pranks were attempted, one involving a popular boy asking me out to abandon me at the mall...idiot..I never showed and then finding out two of my "friends" were in on it ...you know for laughs.

I eventually lost my give a damn and came out of my shell. I had been bullied in HS until I told the girl who was harping on me for my walmart clothes ( cause we did not have that much money to buy designer) that I was more than willing to mop the floor with her entrails....yeah..she never showed for the fight.

I haven't had issues since,maybe because I have that slightly off the hinge look when I get angry..and ironically it takes a lot to get me angry. I'm a lot happier now..and I don't threaten to smear people into the pavement. But it was a horrible experience, being left out, laughed at...evil little people...sigh. I hope things change...but if they don't my son is in martial arts. I don't intend on anyone cornering him into a helpless situation like they did me and not being able to get out of it.

madamepsychosis

I was bullied for being skinny and for answering questions correctly in class by the same kids who would then go and pick on the overweight children or the children in special needs classes. Bullies will bully for anything. I'm training to be a teacher starting in September and if anyone bullies a student in my presence, there's no way in hell they're going to get away with it.

WickedGarden

I was bullied, name calling-by the boys AND girls, the boys would kick me, trip me in the halls, push me down, spit on me, break my glasses. The teachers did nothing, they would be a witness to boys pushing me down and not say a word. Once I had to go to the ER because of the injuries I sustained from a fall. I would try to stick up for myself, but the teachers would take me down to the principal's office for using foul language. I couldn't really push them away as I weighed less than 100 lbs. It continued thru high school.

I have no desire to see any of those people at any reunion. I highly doubt they've changed their ways.

See, if you went to school with my sons, they would have stoop up for you!! I EXPECT my sons to stand up to bullies and to protect others.

I am so sorry that no one stood up for you!!!!!

awww...thanks!

:flowerforyou:

lovinbeinold

I have been bullied once in my life that stands out (aside from an abusive SOB I was married to many years ago.) It was in Junior high and it was due to racism. It was quite shocking to me, only lasted a few days, but gave me a taste of what others have gone through their whole lives.

In fact, it terrified me and sent me home crying every day while it was happening. Racist bullying is one of the scariest, harshest phenomena of our society.

10KEyes

This is all well and good, but adults go to jail for using violence to solve their social problems. So teaching your kids that violence is the answer might not be a good idea in the long run.

My son has been told that it's the school employees' jobs to prevent bullying and fights and that he is to make them do their jobs. And if they don't do their jobs even after he tells them what is going on, to tell me, and I will call them up and chew them out until they do their jobs.

Is it because I prefer he were a 'tattletale' than a fighter? Not really, I'd be perfectly happy if he broke some bully's nose. But I know the consequences for doing so could be severe, and even if he got away with it, it wouldn't help him later in life.

I disagree with you logic. In our society, you can defend yourself from physical attack. I believe he was talking about defending one's self when physically attacked. Even as adults you can defend yourself when physically attacked without punishment. Verbal attacks do not warrant physical defense. If someone kid or adult takes decides to physically attack someone, there are consequences to their actions, sometimes it is positive, sometimes it is negative. Teaching a child to defend themselves from a physical attack will serve them well both as kids and as adults.

sfoxy219

I was bullied for a while in school. I was overweight and i'm pretty sure that was the only reason. I was pushed down the stairs 2X, tripped, pushed against walls and stepped on when I fell. I had a few girls in my 8th grade culinary class that would say the worst things about me. It made me sick to go to class. I never talked to anyone because I was always made to feel everything i had to say was wrong and I was stupid.

I personally know some one who was rapped this year, she's 16 and everyone at her school was calling her a slut and a *kitten* saying she slept with this 35 year old man. I know she didn't. It made me so mad because this person is very close to me.

PandaHerber

I was never bullied exactly, but like some of the others, I was different. And just being different can be as rough as being bullied, but it made me so strong. I'm in a career that is male dominated, so I take a lot of heat and have to prove myself over and over again but I will always defend the little guy. I have such a disrespect for those that think it's ok to make fun of others just because they can. Even if it's just as simple as making fun of appearance, weight, name, etc. While I know that I may have some thoughts as someone walks by and I'm wondering what they were thinking when they got dressed that morning but I try to really look at them. If they look that way and are happy and proud and walking tall - then good for them. But if I look and see that nothing about their appearance really makes sense, then I feel a sort of sadness for them and want to help. When is the last time you really looked at someone before you judged them? When is the last time you stopped and thought before you let words fly out of your mouth? Everyone has a story and I think you just need to read a little of their story prior to saying you know them.
As we all know, usually the bullies are bullies because they lack so much in their life. It's just whether or not they ever get a chance or have that defining moment to make a change. It's so sad to see such bullying happening in the schools.

MaraDiaz

This is all well and good, but adults go to jail for using violence to solve their social problems. So teaching your kids that violence is the answer might not be a good idea in the long run.

My son has been told that it's the school employees' jobs to prevent bullying and fights and that he is to make them do their jobs. And if they don't do their jobs even after he tells them what is going on, to tell me, and I will call them up and chew them out until they do their jobs.

Is it because I prefer he were a 'tattletale' than a fighter? Not really, I'd be perfectly happy if he broke some bully's nose. But I know the consequences for doing so could be severe, and even if he got away with it, it wouldn't help him later in life.

I disagree with you logic. In our society, you can defend yourself from physical attack. I believe he was talking about defending one's self when physically attacked. Even as adults you can defend yourself when physically attacked without punishment. Verbal attacks do not warrant physical defense. If someone kid or adult takes decides to physically attack someone, there are consequences to their actions, sometimes it is positive, sometimes it is negative. Teaching a child to defend themselves from a physical attack will serve them well both as kids and as adults.

You can defend yourself only with enough force to ensure your own safety and to stop the person's actions. My son is a teenager. Volatile years. Do we really want to trust to the judgement of a teen on how much force is enough to stop someone? Besides, in my situation, I learned to initiate physical violence to stop the verbal attacks. Which did work, but is not a solution because in adulthood, that's called assault. For those reasons, I want more involvement from school employees in stopping bullying, verbal and physical, before it escalates.

sculley

My son was diagnosed at 4 as ADHD. He endured over 7 school years of bullying. He was small as a freshman, barely weighing in at 100 lbs and 5'2" The summer between his freshman and sophomore years, he grew 6 inches, and put on 60 lbs. He was unrecognizable when he returned to school his sophomore year. People started to be nicer to him, accept him a little more, but unfortunately for him, the damage was done. While he was not mean to them, any gesture of kindness they made to him he rebuked. They asked him to hang out, he turned them down due to 7 years of teasing and abuse.

His senior year, he was beaten so badly he almost died. The doctor said if he had been hit 2-3 more times, he would've died. His face was smashed in, he had broken ribs, a broken nose, and a gash on his head requiring stitches. The boy jumped him from behind in the locker room. It took 4 boys to pull this kid off. The boy was never disciplined, not even by the school. As a result of this beating, he suffers from memory loss, and other effects. We have lost the carefree, fun loving child he use to be. Now he's moody, and angry most of the time. He doesn't get out, he will not socialize, he is very much a recluse. That bully stole my child from me, and while I know that I am supposed to forgive, I will never forgive this boy. I hate him with every fiber of my being.

Thanks for reading friends.

I am sorry for your loss...I say loss because I have a son who is autistic and adhd and he is a beautiful happy kid whose life is starting to become hateful etc because of being bullied. It's such a terrible loss.... I wish there was something that could be done for you to get your beautiful boy back. things like that break my heart

10KEyes

You can defend yourself only with enough force to ensure your own safety and to stop the person's actions.

True. I was taught and I have taught my son "Do only what is necessary to stop the attacker, no more, no less." Doing more is vengeance and less is well, not doing enough. Agreed, each kid is different. Thankfully, my 17yo son is responsible enough for that knowledge and skill. I can see where it is different from kid to kid at the same age.

Maude_Lewbowski

I was so horrifically bullied as a child and it, along with other factors in my life have cause me to develop PTSD. Yes, like our war vets get. IMHO it's devastating and I am glad to see that as a nation we're finally addressing it. Yes, we'll have nay sayers and those who take it too far in the other direction but, at a baseline this is something that needs to stop. It affects peoples lives far beyone the school yard, or the front yard for that matter.

Thanks for bringing this up, kudos to you!

I asked my family doctor if being bullied for years could cause PTSD and he laughed at me! :mad:

If you like, friend me and I can give you a couple of good groups and a good doctor that may have referals...PTSD actually changed the chemical make up of your brain. Get a second opinion, you deserve it.

chica23GK

I was heartbroken when my 6 yr old son came home the second week of first grade, threw down his backpack & proclaimed, "Mama, it's NOT la-la land out there; those kids are mean!" OMG - at 6, he had to learn this - I figured he'd be at least 10-11 yrs old when he learned this life lesson. I raised 2 boys and I didn't want them to fight or bully, but when someone harassed them I gave them permission to defend themselves. We went by the "3 strikes; you're out" rule: 1st occurrence, use your words to firmly tell them to stop; 2nd occurrence, tell an adult, such as teacher; and 3rd occurrence, do what you gotta do. I did raise my kids to be nice, turn the other cheek, consider other people's feelings, and all that; but it's so difficult to teach them where to draw the line - when they have to put themselves first. You only hear people talking about bullying when they or someone they love have experienced it - not from bullies or parents w/bullies because they either don't care or don't recognize (that they are bullies or have raised bullies).

10KEyes

You only hear people talking about bullying when they or someone they love have experienced it - not from bullies or parents w/bullies because they either don't care or don't recognize (that they are bullies or have raised bullies).

That is because bullies are not created out of nothing. They are nurtured that way.

Pengi81

Sadly bullies are everywhere in many shapes and forms

I was bulled through secondary school for being overweight (there was no way I was "coming out" to get bullied for that also)

I'm 31 and I still get bullied now.

Never been physically bullied - just emotional/verbal scarring but it sucks and I've had enough of it. I get kids as young as 11 insulting me when I walk down the road - but at 20 years their senior I just ignore the little idiots!

Bullies are rife in UK schools because our Government is crap and can't control them - teachers have been known here to go on strike or take special leave as they cannot deal with the spate of bullying from their pupils - when did it get so bad that a student could pick on or bully a teacher but they are powerless to "fight" back?

This Nanny-State we now all live in is getting ridiculous - discipline for children/teens whether soft or harsh needs to be brought back!

SinIsIn

I was bullied because one of the "leaders" of the girl gang thought me and my friend were lesbians. They would follow us around and tell us off. Threaten to beat us up.. etc...etc.

One day the girl was walking alone to class and me and my friend were behind her. So we started telling her what a nice @ss she had and all that stuff because.. well she was alone and before she had all her gang with her! LOL

Well her and her gang caught me alone one time buying a coke from the machine and they got this girl to come beat me up. Turns out the girl was a friend of mine from kinder! hahahah... she didn't beat me up! She just hugged me and we started talking. I don't think things went well for her in the gang after that. She ended up hanging out with me and my friend after that. Good times!

MaraDiaz

You only hear people talking about bullying when they or someone they love have experienced it - not from bullies or parents w/bullies because they either don't care or don't recognize (that they are bullies or have raised bullies).

That is because bullies are not created out of nothing. They are nurtured that way.

That's not always true, there is a poster in this thread who deeply regrets having bullied someone. But it is true that not everyone grows out of being a bully. It's a shame children or adults are allowed to get away with verbal abuse. The sticks and stones defense is obviously false, yet verbal attacks absent threats (or in some places racist motivation) are permitted in every culture that I know of.

But of course if verbal attacks were outlawed, ridiculous scenes would ensue. Officer, that old lady over there just called me a bad word! Arrest her! Officer, my husband said my butt looked like the back end of a school bus in this dress, I've had enough of his abuse, arrest him! Officer, that man just called my baby the ugliest thing he's ever seen. I want him in jail!

So, since we can't practically stop adult bullying, it needs to be stopped in the schools, churches, and homes. And not with violence. My heart is gladdened when someone says, oh this kid used to beat me up, then I broke his nose and he stopped. I cheer inside when I read those posts. But if we're ever going to be more than screeching, hairless monkeys with overactive imaginations, we really need to step away from the violence.