Are you a Lesbian or Gay?!?

chels1605

Hi

I'm in a very happy same sex relationship (see picture)... and we're both really comfortable with being gay and being out.

However, i have straight girl friends who i sometimes worry think I'm looking at them in a sexual way just because they are female and I'm a lesbian......

Also... in the gym/pool, I find myself getting embarrassed incase someone/friends thinks i'm looking at them in the changing room (I'm NOT because i have my eye candy at home) just because i'm looking at their swimsuit and thinking 'wonder if that would look nice on me'..... OR I get hit on by men/male lifeguards when all i want to do is be left alone to do my thing!!!

Anyone else feel like this?!

Awkward30

Not gay, but very gay friendly. I live with a lesbian too lol anyways, I think as long as your straight friends are reasonable people they should understand that not every lesbian wants to sleep with them. Just like not every guy wants to sleep with them. If they don't understand that, get better friends!

chels1605

it isn't so much my friends.... i get worried about strangers more even though i'm not obviously gay and of course, why would a lesbian be attracted to every female!

sometimes uncomfortable if you see people showering naked etc - and i dont even think its them who are uncomfortable!

ninerbuff

It's sad when people reject the idea that 2 people of the same sex can be happy together. I am a staunch supporter of gay and lesbian lifestyle and living in the San Francisco Bay area, it's pretty much the norm around here. It's so stupid to me when I hear people (tourist's mostly) say "let's go see the areas where the gays hang out" as if it's an attraction to oogle at.
Glad you've found the partner to share a life with and don't ever feel obligated to fulfill what others idea it is that defines a relationship.



A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Awkward30

I think most people are content to go about their day whilest you go about yours. Don't worry about it. Nobody thinks you are going to the gym on the off chance that you are able to glimpse their sweaty, smelly bod. And if they do, they would regardless of your actual sexual orientation!

Elle_Jamaicangirl81

Not lesbian nor gay... but supportive.

Hopefully one day people will stop thinking that every gay/lesbian person is sex-crazed and horny... and that they will look at EVERY one as someone to have sex with.

maybe they might realize that they are no different than straight people are.. that they have actually standards too


one glorious day i suppose.

u dont worry about that...

cramernh

Hi

However, i have straight girl friends who i sometimes worry think I'm looking at them in a sexual way just because they are female and I'm a lesbian......

Also... in the gym/pool, I find myself getting embarrassed incase someone/friends thinks i'm looking at them in the changing room (I'm NOT because i have my eye candy at home) just because i'm looking at their swimsuit and thinking 'wonder if that would look nice on me'..... OR I get hit on by men/male lifeguards when all i want to do is be left alone to do my thing!!!

Anyone else feel like this?!

If you arent being informed by the person that there is a problem... then why worry about it so much? Seems to me you might be looking at this way too much if you are assuming they think that.

Until they come out and say "Im not comfortable", I dont think you have much to worry about at all. Seriously speaking, dont fret, go on about with your day to day things and dont worry so much. Life's too short to be worrying about what other's think...

I have many lesbian, gay, transgendered friends who I adore as they are and at no such time have I ever thought of them 'looking' or 'thinking', if you know what I mean...

Dragonfly7701

I think that you should feel free to be anywhere and around anyone. It is ok to look and if someone is uncomfortable I guess they would let you know, but don't get ahead of yourself. Man will look no matter what. They are just different than women that way. I look and I am a woman also. Like you said I might just be looking at their shoes because I like them. I think you should feel confident that for every person that rejects you or feels uncomfortable around you there are 10 or more friends/online-friends who value you for who you are.

cramernh

Not lesbian nor gay... but supportive.

Hopefully one day people will stop thinking that every gay/lesbian person is sex-crazed and horny... and that they will look at EVERY one as someone to have sex with.

maybe they might realize that they are no different than straight people are.. that they have actually standards too


one glorious day i suppose.

u dont worry about that...

I really hope you are right... Im a straight married woman who thinks all of this gay-related drama*** is just utterly rediculous. My husband also believes the same thing - utterly rediculous!

I welcome anyone to my dinner table - they better be capable of handling food porn! LOL!!!!

*** In other words, the numbnuts of society who are so damn homophobic, religious radicals who spread hatred against LGBT... they create unnecessary drama...

jching29

Haha, it all depends on who it is that's in the changing room with me. I'm usually all sorts of fine, but when it comes to girls I find attractive (not that I'd do anything about it; I'm happily taken) I get really awkward about them finding out I'm gay, because I don't want them to think I'm ogling them while they're naked. Other than the occasional(ly extremely gorgeous!) weightlifter or yoga teacher, I haven't had a problem with it.

Nurse_krissy

First of all, you two are a gorgeous couple!

I'm not gay, but I totally check out other girls at the gym - clothed, not clothed, whatever. That being said, it's not a sexual thing, it's more of an appreciation for our beautiful bodies! I'm impressed with great muscle definition (vs skinny) and I'm usually checking out arms, backs, or abs. It's also nice to see that EVERYBODY has cellulite and that each of our "problem areas" are usually "problem areas" for everybody else and reminds me to not be so hard on myself! It sounds to me like I'm more likely to get ousted than you are! ;-)

If anybody has a problem with you in the locker room, tough *kitten* for them. It just goes to show how ignorant they are about lesbians.

BAMFMeredith

I'm not gay, BUT the way I see it, I'm not sexually attracted to every single guy I see. I could see 100 naked men, and not be trying to bone them all...I have a boyfriend at home! I explained this to one of my guy friends who was uncomfortable about a gay guy being really friendly toward him. He basically assumed the guy was hitting on him and I said "do you think every girl that talks to you is hitting on you?" When he said no, I was like well then why would every gay guy that talks to you be any different?

Don't worry about it no matter who you're attracted to, it doesn't matter, we're all human, and we all have standards (well, most of us lol, my ex apparently has none these days). Besides, I'd be totally flattered if a woman found me attractive! I feel like it's a way bigger compliment

squishycow7

1) most strangers I'm sure wont instantly just know you're a lesbian, so I wouldn't worry about being judged!
2) people that do know/figure out that you are are ignorant to assume that you're some sex-crazed beast who is attracted to every woman she sees
3) as Dr Suess said... "people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind."
4)


edit to add - I'm straight, I've never been attracted sexually/relationshiply (is that a word!?) to a woman, BUT I have to say I check more WOMEN out than I do men!!!!! I think it's for a comparison's sake, like, OMG I wish I was that pretty, etc etc.... perhaps that's an insecurity thing, lol

BAMFMeredith

First of all, you two are a gorgeous couple!

I'm not gay, but I totally check out other girls at the gym - clothed, not clothed, whatever. That being said, it's not a sexual thing, it's more of an appreciation for our beautiful bodies! I'm impressed with great muscle definition (vs skinny) and I'm usually checking out arms, backs, or abs. It's also nice to see that EVERYBODY has cellulite and that each of our "problem areas" are usually "problem areas" for everybody else and reminds me to not be so hard on myself! It sounds to me like I'm more likely to get ousted than you are! ;-)

If anybody has a problem with you in the locker room, tough *kitten* for them. It just goes to show how ignorant they are about lesbians.

DITTO! I feel like a creep sometimes because I'm always admiring somebody's body, outfit, swimsuit, whatever. They probably think I'm creepin on em too haha

ManicMelody

I say let them think I'm looking. I'm in a very happy same-sex relationship. We're way open,and I always make jokes in class about people catching "the gay." I'm just silly and open. I've told some of my female friends that I've never been attracted to them, and they were almost offended. Hahaha.

ahsats

My girlfriend is more masculine and we change in the locker room together which is a duh gay sign. We live in Atlanta though so I'd assume its probably different other places but we've never had a problem. Nor has it even crossed my mind that it would be weird.

PeaceLoveVeggies

It's sad when people reject the idea that 2 people of the same sex can be happy together. I am a staunch supporter of gay and lesbian lifestyle and living in the San Francisco Bay area, it's pretty much the norm around here. It's so stupid to me when I hear people (tourist's mostly) say "let's go see the areas where the gays hang out" as if it's an attraction to oogle at.
Glad you've found the partner to share a life with and don't ever feel obligated to fulfill what others idea it is that defines a relationship.

AMEN!!! I hate it when people go to Greenwich Village and look at the happy couples holding hands like if they're from another planet. I've had it happen to me a lot. I was holding hands with a friend of mine [she's Lesbian, I'm bisexual - and we were attracted to each other] last week through a shopping district and someone crossed the street with her child when her child asked why we were holding hands. This, of course, after she shot us a dirty look.

_Bob_

I don't worry about that kind of stuff but it might become a worry after shedding another 75 lbs, lol. The funny thing is, I had this conversation with a gay dude in the shower once, we both had a good laugh. some people are really strange about same sex attraction, I've found that most are not as horny or don't ogle people as much. most of the ones I know focus on the object of there desire.

Jackie9950

First of all, you two are a gorgeous couple!

I'm not gay, but I totally check out other girls at the gym - clothed, not clothed, whatever. That being said, it's not a sexual thing, it's more of an appreciation for our beautiful bodies! I'm impressed with great muscle definition (vs skinny) and I'm usually checking out arms, backs, or abs. It's also nice to see that EVERYBODY has cellulite and that each of our "problem areas" are usually "problem areas" for everybody else and reminds me to not be so hard on myself! It sounds to me like I'm more likely to get ousted than you are! ;-)

If anybody has a problem with you in the locker room, tough *kitten* for them. It just goes to show how ignorant they are about lesbians.

I do this too. LOL

Janet55555555555

I am not a lesbian but I have known few gays and lesbians.in the past. I think life is so busy we do not have time to think of attractions in any way, shape, or form. I am happily married so I may look but stay away.

AshleeLunce

Not gay, but I grew up around the gay community. My mom came out when I was in the 4th grade and she has been with her partner for 15 years. I would say don't worry about it! Heck, I look at woman in their bathing suits and think the same thing "That is a cute suit, wonder how I would look in it?". Keep being proud of who you are and don't worry about it! If someone is uncomfortable, they will let you know.

sunshineshica

Umm not for nothing but looking at your profile pic I wouldn't automatically assume you're gay. Do you wear gay pride apparel when you workout or something? Buuuuut if I noticed you looking at me in the dressing room to the point of creepiness than someone could assume that then. Is this the case? If not, you may be a bit paranoid about it.

Vixen0113

I don't see why people care..If a straight woman looks at another woman cuz her outfit is cute or she has a nice body its okay? but if a lesbian does it its offensive? Don't care what others think. You're with a great and beautiful person, it's not like your trying to get with other women. I was with my last gf for 9 months and i always got looks, but eff it, like ya'll never ever seen 2 of the same sexes together lol..Just ignore the ignorance, be yourself and be happy

ninerbuff

Not to hijack, but if you're straight and get complemented or approached by someone gay, do you get offended or are you flattered?
Personally I've had it happen so many times, I'm flattered. I will be honest and say the first couple of times I was offended, but after hanging out with my brother (who is gay), I came to find out that their attraction is NO DIFFERENT than mine to a females.


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

mslack01

it isn't so much my friends.... i get worried about strangers more even though i'm not obviously gay and of course, why would a lesbian be attracted to every female!

sometimes uncomfortable if you see people showering naked etc - and i dont even think its them who are uncomfortable!

As a stranger, I would probably never know or guess that you were a lesbian. And if we were friends, and you didn't hit on me, I would probably wonder if you just don't find me attractive. LOL.

LishieFruit89

I def have to start with this, the two of you are gorgeous!! You look so good together!

I'm bi and totally check out more women than I do men. I agree, more as a comparison thing than sexual.
I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said.
I don't assume that every guy (if there are any) that check me out wants me and don't assume the same for women.
It's very egotistical of people to do that haha

AmberJslimsAWAY

I don't think gay or lesbian people have a "look" about them. Normal people, wanting to love just like everyone else. Don't sweat the small bull****. If you get questioned by your friends, ask if they are attracted to every single guy they see. Just because you're a lesbian doesn't automatically mean you think all chicks are hot.

Seriously, people need to get over themselves.

Savyna

The feeling came up when I went to the gym with a friend earlier this week. We were in a yoga class and at one point the instructor asked us to turn and face the left wall and it turned out she wanted us to bend over so esentially putting my friends *kitten* in my face (nearly) and she did look at me in a weird way but I would never use that opportunity to look at her like that so when she was still looking at me I moved a bit to the side so that her tush wouldn't be in my face and not once did I look up once we did bend forward, mainly because I quickly forgot it trying to make sure I didn't fall over whilst bending.

nytdreamer80

Lesbian here. I Really dont have any issues because I Dont change at the gym, nor shower. also, most people looking at ME wouldnt assume I am gay? Now my partner (obviously people know since she is MUCH more masculine then me).

Spooney45

I'm bi and I love it! Its not always been that way though, my Mum hasn't spoken to me for 3 years since I came out. Even so, I'm the happiest I have ever been.

BAMFMeredith

Btw, y'all are super pretty I bet you get annoying comments from dudes ALL THE TIME about what a hot couple you are!!