Husband not physically attracted to me anymore
Rheaethan
Posts: 16
Just wantedt to know if anyone else's weight has affected their marriage?
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Replies
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Positive side effect of weight loss....better sex! LOL0
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(((((hugs)))))
Thankfully, my weight gain has not affected my marriage in a negative way. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Ireally don't knw what to say except that you look like a beautiful woman and keep your head up. Do this for you and make him eat his words.0 -
Have you talked to him about it or do you just get that feeling from him?0
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That is SO EFF'D UP!
If he cant love you at your worst, HE'S NEVER GOING TO LOVE YOU AT YOUR BEST! Remember that!!!
I'm so sorry to hear that though. I personally don't have that problem but I have friends who do. Someone who is not going to love you unconditionally is not worthy of being called a spouse/husband, and more importantly, is not worthy of YOU!0 -
I wasn't attracted to me anymore, and that affected my marriage. I have noticed a HUGE improvement for us since I started improving me!0
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so he said..... I find it hard to understand conditional love. I loved my husband even when he was very large....I gained weight and he was cruel...I guess you have to decide how you want things to go. Maybe its an excuse,if you lose weight and things don't get better on his end,consider it 'not your issue' but his, but the benefit will be a trimmer you to tackle whatever is thrown at you. Best of luck. But please,don't take the burden of everything he says and carry it around with you. As I said..love is supposed to be unconditional.0
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That is SO EFF'D UP!
If he cant love you at your worst, HE'S NEVER GOING TO LOVE YOU AT YOUR BEST! Remember that!!!
I'm so sorry to hear that though. I personally don't have that problem but I have friends who do. Someone who is not going to love you unconditionally is not worthy of being called a spouse/husband, and more importantly, is not worthy of YOU!
Where did she say that he doesn't love her any more?
He isn't physically attracted to her.0 -
I am so sorry. Did he actually say this to you or can you just tell?0
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It did affect my relationship. I don't think as much on his end as on my end. I felt so unattractive that i didn't want to undress in front of him or have him see me without clothes on. I didn't even want him to touch me because I thought that he wouldn't like me since I have gained weight. He had never said anything negative about my weight gain. i think it was all in my head. Now that I have lost weight I am feeling more attractive so our relationship is getting better. I can wear my nightgowns and dresses again and not feel silly or unattractive in them.0
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Thankfully no. Even at my heaviest I couldn't get my husband off of me.
It effected our sex life because of my own insecurities though.0 -
I wasn't attracted to me anymore, and that affected my marriage. I have noticed a HUGE improvement for us since I started improving me!
Mine did only because I wasn't happy with myself and would get so down on myself and insecure in our marriage thinking he was looking for other people....How you feel about yourself can really take a toll when your with someone cause you dont love yourself properly.0 -
(((((hugs)))))
Thankfully, my weight gain has not affected my marriage in a negative way. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Ireally don't knw what to say except that you look like a beautiful woman and keep your head up. Do this for you and make him eat his words.
I couldnt agree more xxx0 -
did he actually tell you this?0
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I wasn't attracted to me anymore, and that affected my marriage. I have noticed a HUGE improvement for us since I started improving me!
I totally agree with this!0 -
I wasn't attracted to me anymore, and that affected my marriage. I have noticed a HUGE improvement for us since I started improving me!
THIS!0 -
I'm afraid this thread isn't going good places :frown:
My input: my husband never notices when I gain weight. He also takes forever (~25 lbs this time) to notice when I lose. He sees me as the same woman he loves and married always. However, my weight DOES directly affect how I feel, and act, which in turn affects our physical relationship.
I'm sorry he told you he's not physically attracted to you after gaining weight. That must hurt very deeply.0 -
i am sorry your dealing with this ..
i am lucky , i dont have that problem (even though im 100 pounds heavier)0 -
Thankfully no. Even at my heaviest I couldn't get my husband off of me.
It effected our sex life because of my own insecurities though.
^^ this. Although my husband is getting to be much more insecure since I've been losing weight.0 -
Just wantedt to know if anyone else's weight has affected their marriage?
Your husband is a complete moron, you are gorgeous and he should feel lucky to have you! Who does he think he is? Channing Tatum? pfft0 -
Have you talked to him about it or do you just get that feeling from him?
^This. I am sorry that you are dealing with this.0 -
Yes, It did and is affecting my marriage.
He thinks that because I lost all of the weight that I somehow think I am better than him. Which is in no way true, and I haven't acted as if I was better than him.
It is sad. Those closest to you have the hardest time being happy for you changing your life for the better.0 -
Is he emotionally attracted to you??? A marriage shouldn't just be about physical attraction. There needs to be an emotional connection. Thats the first place I would want to make strong. The physical piece is something that can be worked on together.
I learned awhile back that in order to have a healthy relationship, I needed to first learn to like/love myself. Once I could do that I was able to be a better partner.
I am sorry this is happening to you and your husband. I don't even know you but I hope and pray that everything will work out for the better.0 -
You're only trying to lose 16 pounds? You can't be THAT overweight!
I get that physical attraction is what it is, but I would think love would sort of cloud the sight a bit. Sorry you're going through this.0 -
I will be smitten to hell for this but this is how I feel: Love keeps me with you, physical attraction affects what we can and cannot do. I'm going to give you the best me I possibly can and expect the same in return. It's not about how we look as much as how is this affecting our overall health and mental stability. When those start getting messed up it's time to take a closer look at things. I would never expect my wife to stay with me if I let myself go completely, and I don't expect her to let herself go either BECAUSE of how it makes us feel about ourselves.0
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I agree with TAM!!0
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so he said..... I find it hard to understand conditional love. I loved my husband even when he was very large....I gained weight and he was cruel...I guess you have to decide how you want things to go. Maybe its an excuse,if you lose weight and things don't get better on his end,consider it 'not your issue' but his, but the benefit will be a trimmer you to tackle whatever is thrown at you. Best of luck. But please,don't take the burden of everything he says and carry it around with you. As I said..love is supposed to be unconditional.
Love isn't really supposed to be anything... unless you're a spiritual person and you use your religion to define it. Using Christianity as an example, we all fall miserably short of what 1 Corinthians describes love as being. With a 40% or more divorce rate (at least in the states) I find it difficult to actually critique love or the way it's supposed to be... none of us really measure up, so I'm a hypocrite to attack someone else for their weaknesses when I can find so much weakness in myself.
To the OP... it's easy to jump on the "what a jerk" bandwagon and tell you how hurtful he's being, but I don't think that will help you much. My suggestion -- evaluate your marriage as a whole and try to figure out what's really going on, because there may be a much bigger picture than your weight.0 -
From a FaT guy's perspective:
I wouldn't be physically attracted to my wife if she was Morbidly obese and was doing nothing about it. Now, don't start hating me!!! I surely don't feel attractive at my weight level. I don't "perform well" due to my weight. I couldn't be attractive to her this way.0 -
My husband and I started dating when I had just lost 50 some odd pounds with WW...and throughout the course of our courtship, engagement, and the first year of marriage, I put back on all the weight I had lost prior to meeting him, plus 7 pounds. He never said a word. Now I'm back to the weight I was on the day of our wedding, and within 15 pounds of where I was when we met, but he hasn't noticed much of a physical change. I am led to believe one of two things: A, he notices all along (the up and the down) but doesn't say anything so that I "think" he doesn't notice, or B, he really doesn't notice because he loves me either way. Regardless, it hasn't affected our relationship in the bedroom so I can't complain.
*Sometimes* men are just simple and clueless...and I think I kinda like it that way. LOL!
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get a new husband... or get permission to rent one
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I have actually noticed that my weight loss has negatively impacted my marriage. I have lost over 100 pounds and it is like my husand doesn't even remember who I am anymore. I am a more confindent and active person and he is a home body. He doesn't like my new confidece but I don't let it bother me. I am comfortable and happy with my progress but sometimes I think he liked me when I was heavier because I didn't want to do anything and he didn't have to worry about me going out and meeting people.
Keep doing what you are doing and if he doesn't come around then it is his loss.0
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