My rant: Unsolicited Parenting Advice...
Let me first state... I effing hate unsolicited advice. Just so we're clear on that.
This weekend, friends and I gather with our children ranging in age from 5-15. My son is 5. He got hit in the face with a basketball - rather hard, his cheek is still blue with a bruise. He comes in crying, I put him on my lap, hug him, someone gives me an ice pack, I tell him he's going to be just fine, etc... About 5-10 minutes later, he's back outside playing.
Two men of the group begin to tell me how I need to make a man out of him and tell him he's fine and to shake it off, not hug him or "coddle him" when this happens. I sit quietly as they continue to discuss this insulting me to my face, stating things like "Seriously, what does he play with dolls and barbies too? You're making him into a homo!"
Now, one of these men is 44, single, with no children, and abused as a child. Frankly, I don't like him at all, but that's not the point. He particularly has no right dispensing advice.
After remaining silent, there's a lull and I simply say, "That was fun, I hope you enjoyed yourself. But I'm not taking parenting advice today. Probably not tomorrow, either, just so you're aware." Smiled, and walked away. I'd have rather taken a ridge hand straight to his trachea.
I will parent as I see fit. I do not need anyone's opinion on how I choose to raise my child. Not only that, but It's insulting to think that how I behave has any bearing on whether or not my child is going to be gay... and I'd love him just as much regardless.
Rant over. /sigh
This weekend, friends and I gather with our children ranging in age from 5-15. My son is 5. He got hit in the face with a basketball - rather hard, his cheek is still blue with a bruise. He comes in crying, I put him on my lap, hug him, someone gives me an ice pack, I tell him he's going to be just fine, etc... About 5-10 minutes later, he's back outside playing.
Two men of the group begin to tell me how I need to make a man out of him and tell him he's fine and to shake it off, not hug him or "coddle him" when this happens. I sit quietly as they continue to discuss this insulting me to my face, stating things like "Seriously, what does he play with dolls and barbies too? You're making him into a homo!"
Now, one of these men is 44, single, with no children, and abused as a child. Frankly, I don't like him at all, but that's not the point. He particularly has no right dispensing advice.
After remaining silent, there's a lull and I simply say, "That was fun, I hope you enjoyed yourself. But I'm not taking parenting advice today. Probably not tomorrow, either, just so you're aware." Smiled, and walked away. I'd have rather taken a ridge hand straight to his trachea.
I will parent as I see fit. I do not need anyone's opinion on how I choose to raise my child. Not only that, but It's insulting to think that how I behave has any bearing on whether or not my child is going to be gay... and I'd love him just as much regardless.
Rant over. /sigh
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Replies
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He's 5, not 10...Geez, boys need Mommy hugs too. You did better than I would have. I would have probably told them to F Off.0
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I would have drop kicked the dudes *kitten* in a heartbeat!0
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He was playing basketball?! What is your problem?! It's baseball season!
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Wow....well they sounded like a couple of d-bags
He's FIVE....you did exactly what I would've done with my daughter OR my NEPHEW. Doesn't sound like you over did it or acted like he had just broken a bone. He was hurt, you comforted him, and that was that. Hell I'm 26 and if I get in the face with a basketball, I'd probably tear up too! Not to mention I'd wanna be comforted haha
What jerks....I hate that *kitten* and LOVE your reply0 -
Wow, how horrible of you to show your very young child any sympathy for his pain and feelings. How can you live with the knowledge you are raising your child to feel secure and loved when he's hurt? SMH
I've never had anyone say to my face anything like that, I'm really not sure what I'd do or say in your place. But I like your response.0 -
My ex-husband tells me the same thing about our 7-year old son (and has since the day he was born, for that matter). It makes me want to better acquaint his balls with my boots...0
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Maybe they were just jealous they were not getting the attention that you were giving your child...Jerks.0
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Oh my gosh they just figured out why people are homosexual! It's all the hugs and love you give to your children.
:noway:
I think your response was awesome. And for the record I'm 37 and if I got whacked in the face with a basketball I would want to be cuddled and hugged too.:blushing:0 -
Well, maybe what you SHOULD have done was.....
Kidding, that's bullsh*t, and I love how you handled it. I don't know if I could have been as level-headed as you were, because my momma-bear instinct is hard to control. I'm impressed..... :drinker:0 -
I don't think I would have been able to have held my tounge. My two little boys still need mommy hugs all the time when they get hurt or are feeling sad. The only thing witholding love will accomplish is turning your child into an emotionally detached messed up kid.0
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You definitely handled that better than I would've.
I don't even understand the thought process (or lack thereof) with people sometimes.0 -
Everyone is an expert on parenting and weight loss. Particularly those with no children and no weight to lose.
You did a bang-up job parenting your 5 year old - the time we can actually make our children feel better when they hurt is woefully short, soon enough they will have the more serious issues that cannot be snuggled and kissed away. Although, if I saw my husband (47 yr old) getting smacked hard in the face by a basketball, I'd probably kiss it better, too
You conducted yourself with grace and held your composure, while confronted by dolts. Well done. Besides, your son was happily back in the game, nothing wrong with that.0 -
I would have drop kicked the dudes *kitten* in a heartbeat!
Ditto!0 -
I HATE when people tell me that about my 6 year old son. He's 6!! What am I supposed to do? Punch him in his junk when he gets hit in the face and tell him "go back out and play and stop crying..." People are so insensitive.0
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I would have drop kicked the dudes *kitten* in a heartbeat!
^This. The ones without kids are ALWAYS the experts.
And I pity the other guy's kids0 -
You're a stronger willed woman than I am, as soon as they took their first inhale after spouting some crazy bs I would have let them have it . . . especially the douche without kids. Actually, after my last experience: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/allabtlm/view/my-condolences-240270#comments I'd probably give them both a time out in the trunk right after a shot to the taint.0
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I hate that kick him in balls and tell him to MAN UP! I have a son and guys say that **** to me I say i want him to grow up not an cry baby but able to have feeling and treat some lucky girl like a princess.0
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I would have drop kicked the dudes *kitten* in a heartbeat!
^This. The ones without kids are ALWAYS the experts.
And I pity the other guy's kids
a drop kick using those heals of yours woulda done the trick0 -
Poor kid. He is 5 and he got hurt. Of course he is gonna want some Mommy attention. My 5 year old is the same way! I would not have been as nice. Good for you for taking the high road with your response. My hubs has a cousin who has 2 kids who he has not raised (one lives in Germany) and now he is playing live in dad to another and he thinks he knows everything about kids and likes to tell us what we need to do with our son. When he starts I just ask him how his own kids are doing and when the last time he saw them was and that usually shuts him up pretty quick!
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I still hug my 11 year old when he is hurt. I don't think I could have been as nice as you. 0
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I keep forgetting (willfully) that there are people in this world that seem to believe that not only is there one true definition for what it means to be a man, but they also know what it is.0
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Did he not go back out there to play again?? You could have taken him home. I'm just saying.0
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GOOD FOR YOU! Yah, you know how to parent YOUR child...not them. I'm glad you spoke up for yourself. Hope your little monkey is ok...I'd still give my kids hugs if they were 35, so those men can shut it!0
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Kudos on your ability to keep your cool. Sometimes, you just need to be coddled, no matter how old you are. Getting hit in the face with a ball hurts. I think the important thing is that he went back out to play a few minutes later. So...in my opinion, he's a tough kid and will be just fine. Stupid idiots...I don't take parenting advice from anyone other than my mother and she only gives it when I ask for it. 0
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:huh: i have been told the same thing...only i have girls... and my oldest is 4.... just remember stupid is everywhere 0
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When I was reading this, I actually thought it was going to go the other way...
Perhaps, the comment would be made that you let him back to play too soon after he was injured.
Oopsy, I guess that means if I ever have a son, he's definitely going to be gay.0 -
Have you ever noticed how none of the unsolicited advice is ever good? EVER?
I actually had a lady tell me I need to have another child, so that if my toddler dies I won't feel so bad. >,<0 -
I would be very careful and actually worried of that guy being near my kids. You already don't like that dude. I don't care for his advice, but peeking into his mind though his comments, I don't like what is in there. Bad vibes all over, follow your good parental instinct.0
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Don't you wish there was an 'ignore' button for people in real life? Something tells me there is a reason this guy isn't married.
~ Let the cuddling begin. ~0
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