How has having a child affected your life?
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my son is the center of my world. he's probably the coolest person I've ever met. having him has forced me to look at myself and car about myself more. it has taught me emotional control, and selflessness. it has taught me what my mom ment when she said that love is limitless. he makes me laugh every single day, even when the day sucks and his true 2.5 age is showing with rolling tantrum after rolling tantrum . . . there's always something that he does that is hystarical. he's taught me more about the human spirit. I've seen the world through his eyes as he experiences for the first time the things that I take for granted.
That being said, two days ago I posted on my face book : 2 1/2, I officially hate 2 1/2 like I hate having poison ivy, getting hang nails, stubbing my toe, and whacking my funny bone all at the same exat time. Actually, having all that going on at once sounds like a party as compared to 2 1/2.
And then I picked him up from daycare with the smootches abounding and we spent the evening inspecting the garden and running through the yard, and having tubbie time, and skyping with my mom, and having an easy evening together.
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No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
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Okay, you found me out, I really hate that I can't go to happy hour whenever I want because the day care charges an arm and leg if you're 6 hours late and won't hand him over if you are slurring and smell of martinis.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
I'm not here to say motherhood is all roses and unicorns, but I will say there is no greater love. Of course there are bad days as a parent, but there are bad days when you aren't a parent. Kids take your time, your money and your sleep (and maybe even did a number on your body), but most parents would agree they wouldn't have it any other way. If you aren't one to make sacrifices, don't become a parent. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood. They will challenge you in ways you never thought possible, but you will also love them more than anything!0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
I don't need to talk to a Mom. I am one. Some days it's the hardest job on the planet - and I sure the heck don't get sick days, bonus pay or any of that. Some days I watch the clock because bed time just can't get here fast enough. Right now my living room looks like a toy box threw up in it.
However - I wouldn't trade any of it. I never EVER wanted to be a SAHM - but I am one....and while financially it's tight - in the end seeing my younger 2 (28 mo and 8 mo) hurry down the hall (one running, one crawling) to the door because their older brother is home from school is just awesome. Overhearing my oldest tell the 2 yr old, "Us 3 are always gonna love each other because we are brothers"...0 -
Children hijack your life, completely!
That being said, they're awesome when they are not breaking stuff or throwing tantrums or throwing up or having explosions in their diapers or throwing food across the room or spilling all their juice on the sofa or screaming cries of terror because you don't want to buy them a toy at the store, yes just marvelous! I only have 1 child. I can't imagine how it is to have 2+.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
Oh yes... Kids are incredibly frustrating. In the first few months of my daughters life she had colic. I realized why single parents shake their babies. The frustration was awful. BUT... I didnt - If anyone else put me through that I would beat them with a 9 iron. Not my own child. That is the difference. The good outweighs ALL the bad.0 -
No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
Oh yes... Kids are incredibly frustrating. In the first few months of my daughters life she had colic. I realized why single parents shake their babies. The frustration was awful. BUT... I didnt - If anyone else put me through that I would beat them with a 9 iron. Not my own child. That is the difference. The good outweighs ALL the bad.
Single parents shake their babies? Guess I'm behind on that trend...0 -
Put it in this way, you could have the worst, most crappiest day EVER- im talking, everything that can go wrong, did go wrong, - the moment you see your child's face, and the excitement,smile and love they have for you, - it all goes down the drain...You forget about who pissed you off, what bills you have to pay why you were so mad. It makes you view life in a different light.
I know one thing is for sure, for anyone who is not a parent yet, they will never know what it feels like until they have a baby. You can speculate and say i will never do this and that , but until your in a mama/papa's shoes, then you'll understand
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Now, we're getting somewhere. i know you guys love your kids, but I get sick of the rainbows and unicorns that people paint when someone is thinking about it or asking what it's like. It's really really really tough. That fact should NOT be underemphasized, IMO.
Thanks for the honesty. I'll bow out now.0 -
You have less time and less money for yourself, but you gain so much it's worth every minute of it.
I had my daughter when I was just 16, had to grow up really fast! But I finished school, went to college and made a life for us. It was tough, really tough, but I love her so much!! I agree, she is the reason I get up in the morning, she is someone I can honestly say I'd give my life for. It's an amazing experience, but it's hard work!0 -
Overhearing my oldest tell the 2 yr old, "Us 3 are always gonna love each other because we are brothers"...
That's just about the cutest thing I've ever heard. Love it!0 -
I find motherhood totally fulfilling and totally nerveracking in the same breath. I would decribe it as conflicting at all times. Super joyful, super painful. I find happiness in the smallest things because I'm a mother. I'm excited to tell you about my son pooping in the potty or putting his shoes on by himself. I'm also STILL mourning my single, pre-motherhood life.
I wouldn't encourage or discourage anyone from having kids. It's an individual choice and not everyone wants to be a parent (even some people who already have kids). What I will say is that if you are self serving or selfish as a general statement, don't have kids. They are very narcisitic little creatures and everything revolves around them. LOL.
As for my goals? i've never had goals that i felt were unattainable and honestly, being a mother was actually on my list of goals (boy, did I NOT know what I was asking for). I honestly don't remember what my life was like prior to having my son. I will say that motherhood has humbled me dearly. I care about strangers more: "Where is that little girl's mother and why is she in the middle of the street by herself? Get out of the street sweety and go play in the grass over there." LOL. I'm more compassionate and empathetic to what other people are going through. I'm a better version of the things I lacked as a single childless person, but I've lost a lot of the things I used to think were important. Parenting changes your perspective to say the least.
Any regrets? Sure, tons of them, but when your kid stares into your eyes and plants a sloppy kiss on you, you kinda forget all about the regrets and bask in someone loving you almost as much as you love them. That's my two cents anyway.0 -
I have no interest in having children at the moment. I have things I would like to achieve before that times comes. But basically, I wanted to know how having children has impacted your life. What hopes and dreams have changed, is there anything you regret not doing? If you were able to, would you go back and change something? My friend and I were talking about it and I was hoping to get some more opinions on the matter.
You need to do the things you would like to do that doesn't include children now while you don't have any. Children are wonderful and exciting, but it is a different universe. It is a universe where you are not at the center of it any longer. You revolve around your kids, you have to think of doing things from a different vantage point. You have think of how your child's needs fit into the daily activities and how you are going to make them fit, even at the expense of your own. That being said, children can bring you a whole wonderful life you have yet to experience.
Don't be in a rush for children.0 -
Single parents shake their babies? Guess I'm behind on that trend...
Doh! That totally came out wrong... Change that to say 'tragically some parents shake their babies'. Apologies to any single parents I may have offended.0 -
I have a lot less free time.
I sleep a lot less.
Dates and childless activities are harder to plan.
But I have 3 little wonderful souls who love me, depend on me and make me happy. My 3 year old constantly brings me "flowers" (usually dandelions). My baby just learned to give kisses. He knows when it's bedtime that it's kiss time, so he takes his pacifier out and leans in for kisses. You can't be mad/ or side when you hear him laugh. My 5 year old has wonderful thoughts like if the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy had to come on the same night that they would most likely have a fight because the Bunny would want the Fairy's money. She told me I could have her grandpa when mine died. She won a special award at school for being nice to people. She wants to be a princess AND a dentist when she grows up.
Also, I am much less lazy then I was pre-kids. I don't have time so things must get done, this includes workouts, etc.0 -
my hopes and dreams became unattainable. my body was ruined. i missed out on my twenties (while all my friends were experiencing freedom and youth, i was changing diapers). i've had to work twice as hard for half the money. relationships are awkward and difficult. i rarely have time to and/or for myself.
There's also a down side.
lol. I laugh.... and relate. I had my first way way too early. I was barely 21 and just getting ready to tackle life. It was a massive change of life for me. honestly, I didnt transition very well for a while. I struggled with still wanting to be a kid and screw up. But somehow we made it through and came out the other end a pretty awesome duo.0 -
Sleep and free time do not exist. The task of taking over the world will have to fall to them because I am now too damned tired.
I would not change a thing...but I will constantly complain.
Seriously? I feel bad for your kids.
I have 3 kids - 2 of whom are under 3, 1 of them is teething, my oldest has ADHD and SPD...and I still have time to myself, including going to the gym. It's about prioritizing. Yeah - I don't get out much on the weekends b/c my kids go to bed early - but that is fine by me. I don't get to always do what I want when I want...but that's part of being an adult, really.
Maybe people should stop focusing on what they are losing & look at what they are GAINING.
Wow. That was very rude. How about you GAIN a sense of humor?0 -
I have a lot less free time.
I sleep a lot less.
Dates and childless activities are harder to plan.
But I have 3 little wonderful souls who love me, depend on me and make me happy. My 3 year old constantly brings me "flowers" (usually dandelions). My baby just learned to give kisses. He knows when it's bedtime that it's kiss time, so he takes his pacifier out and leans in for kisses. You can't be mad/ or side when you hear him laugh. My 5 year old has wonderful thoughts like if the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy had to come on the same night that they would most likely have a fight because the Bunny would want the Fairy's money. She told me I could have her grandpa when mine died. She won a special award at school for being nice to people. She wants to be a princess AND a dentist when she grows up.
Also, I am much less lazy then I was pre-kids. I don't have time so things must get done, this includes workouts, etc.
I adore you
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You give up your body to an alien for 9 months, go through extreme pain and then hear them cry for the first time and realize your life was nothing before this.
You get pooped on, peed on, puked on, woken up all hours of the night, worried half to death over fevers, check to make sure they are breathing when they are sleeping heavy, have nightmares about people breaking into your house and stealing your kid.
They look at you with a variation of your own face and tell you they love you and the world turns sideways.
They climb into bed with you and wake you up at 3 am because they had a bad dream and you spend the rest of the night trying to get back to sleep with little feet in your back and/or face.
They become teenagers and you wish you never had kids and spent the enormous amounts of money spent on them on clothes, parties and vacations.
Through all of it they give you a reason to be alive, to get up in the morning, to cry, to appreciate beauty and innocence.0 -
You give up your body to an alien for 9 months, go through extreme pain and then hear them cry for the first time and realize your life was nothing before this.
You get pooped on, peed on, puked on, woken up all hours of the night, worried half to death over fevers, check to make sure they are breathing when they are sleeping heavy, have nightmares about people breaking into your house and stealing your kid.
They look at you with a variation of your own face and tell you they love you and the world turns sideways.
They climb into bed with you and wake you up at 3 am because they had a bad dream and you spend the rest of the night trying to get back to sleep with little feet in your back and/or face.
They become teenagers and you wish you never had kids and spent the enormous amounts of money spent on them on clothes, parties and vacations.
Through all of it they give you a reason to be alive, to get up in the morning, to cry, to appreciate beauty and innocence.
:flowerforyou:0 -
^^^^ This, and them some!...LOL. I do love my kiddos though and would "wring" their necks while hugging and kissing them at the same time. (of course I would not literally "wring" their necks). I do have to clarify that with kids and people in general..."one minute you like them and the next you don't",~ as in you "are happy one minute and not the next"!I find motherhood totally fulfilling and totally nerveracking in the same breath. I would decribe it as conflicting at all times. Super joyful, super painful. I find happiness in the smallest things because I'm a mother. I'm excited to tell you about my son pooping in the potty or putting his shoes on by himself. I'm also STILL mourning my single, pre-motherhood life.
I wouldn't encourage or discourage anyone from having kids. It's an individual choice and not everyone wants to be a parent (even some people who already have kids). What I will say is that if you are self serving or selfish as a general statement, don't have kids. They are very narcisitic little creatures and everything revolves around them. LOL.
As for my goals? i've never had goals that i felt were unattainable and honestly, being a mother was actually on my list of goals (boy, did I NOT know what I was asking for). I honestly don't remember what my life was like prior to having my son. I will say that motherhood has humbled me dearly. I care about strangers more: "Where is that little girl's mother and why is she in the middle of the street by herself? Get out of the street sweety and go play in the grass over there." LOL. I'm more compassionate and empathetic to what other people are going through. I'm a better version of the things I lacked as a single childless person, but I've lost a lot of the things I used to think were important. Parenting changes your perspective to say the least.
Any regrets? Sure, tons of them, but when your kid stares into your eyes and plants a sloppy kiss on you, you kinda forget all about the regrets and bask in someone loving you almost as much as you love them. That's my two cents anyway. :frown: 0
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