How has having a child affected your life?
Replies
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I am much stickier and having experienced natural childbirth I now have a deeper understanding of the song, "Burning Ring of Fire".0
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Having children is the best thing to ever happen in my life. I learn from them as much as they learn from me and i hope I make them smile as much as they make me smile.0
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The only thing that really changed for me is that I have someone else to ALWAYS think about. I can't just walk out of a job, or pick up and leave the place I'm living to travel or move somewhere else. I can't just leave after work and go do whatever I want. (I can, just have to go pick him up first..haha)
I'm a single mom and was very lucky as my family helped me out a lot. I had my son at 20 and still went out, had dates, and have had my fun. Responsibility side of it was tough at times, and when he was a baby there were times that things were rough just because I did it alone.
But in the end, when I'm having a bad day, he is the one who can tell and hugs me. He knows all my favorite shows and yells at me when they come on. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I acquired a best friend out of all of it and I couldn't be happier.0 -
I don't drive 45 in a 25. Just saying.0
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Having kids is hard. My body is ruined and sleep is a thing of the past. Finding sexy time with the hubby is getting very difficult.
I was never someone that dreamed about having babies and being a soccer mom. I still struggle with it. I love my kids and they bring so much joy into my life but that doesn't mean I don't miss the person I was before I had them and wish I could just freakin sleep without interruption. Sometimes I want to run away and take a minute to breathe. Hubby always wonders why I take FOREVER at the store when he's watching the kids. lol0 -
The only thing that really changed for me is that I have someone else to ALWAYS think about. I can't just walk out of a job, or pick up and leave the place I'm living to travel or move somewhere else. I can't just leave after work and go do whatever I want. (I can, just have to go pick him up first..haha)
I'm a single mom and was very lucky as my family helped me out a lot. I had my son at 20 and still went out, had dates, and have had my fun. Responsibility side of it was tough at times, and when he was a baby there were times that things were rough just because I did it alone.
But in the end, when I'm having a bad day, he is the one who can tell and hugs me. He knows all my favorite shows and yells at me when they come on. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I acquired a best friend out of all of it and I couldn't be happier.
I had a really similar experience. I was young, but lucky to have all the support I did so I was still able to live my life.0 -
LMAO! Ya, you never forget that "great" lovin' feelin'...EVER! My oldest is going on 6 and I remember every feeling of the "blow torch" like it was yesterday! That will teach me to not have DRUGS!!..LOLI am much stickier and having experienced natural childbirth I now have a deeper understanding of the song, "Burning Ring of Fire".0 -
Now, we're getting somewhere. i know you guys love your kids, but I get sick of the rainbows and unicorns that people paint when someone is thinking about it or asking what it's like. It's really really really tough. That fact should NOT be underemphasized, IMO.
Thanks for the honesty. I'll bow out now.
I've never met someone who under-emphasized how difficult it is to be a parent. Contrary to that, I had people telling me my life was over when I was expecting. That I found annoying, because my life is far from over, its been enriched. It helped me realize that going out to the pub every weekend isn't as exciting as watching your children smile at the animals at the zoo.0 -
Its the most daunting and the most rewarding thing you will ever do. Its the scariest thing in the world loving somebody (or in my case 3 somebodies) so much. There are days I am counting the minutes to bedtime, only to miss them as soon as they're asleep in their rooms. My house is LOUD with noisy toys, crying, fighting, taddling and giggling. I can't even hear myself think sometimes but I know that when the day comes when they're all living on their own, I'm going to miss these days dearly and wish for the chance to relive just ONE day of the life I have now.0
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I don't drive 45 in a 25. Just saying.
42 maybe but not 45, Jeez, I am not that reckless.0 -
If you're not ready, you're not ready and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
I tell all my friends to wait till their 30s to have kids. I was 20 and lemme tell ya it's going to be one heck of a *kitten* show once I'm 40 and my daughter is out of the house...well hopefully her *kitten* is out of the house, and in college....sucking me for every last penny I have b/c god knows you HAVE to have a degree to be successful.
I've never loved someone so much in my life....I've also never had anyone make me so crazy by acting...well like ME!
I worry all the time about her and about money and WTF I'm doing with my life and have some EPIC anxiety attacks. I wish I hadn't had a child so young and I wish I had her with someone I actually liked lol Half the time I feel like i"m doing EVERYTHING wrong!
But then there are those moments when she comes running to me "mommy mommy MOMMY!!" and jumps up into my arms
The times that she's looking at me like I hung the moon and stars in the sky and tells me she loves me
Parenthood is a funny thing that you only know if you did anything right in hindsight.
Do I want more children? Probably not, no. Am I thankful for the one I have? Definitely0 -
I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.0 -
My life is so blessed having 3 wonderful kids(24, 20, 16)
I could never see my life without them.
I have always stayed at home with them
I would not change a thing...0 -
Absolutely no regrets here... my life has changed only for the better. I love my son, he is my little miracle baby and life is just amazing with him. There is nothing in life greater than the joy of raising a child.. (IMO).0
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2 kids--changes...Life is FUN and they never let me forget it.
They push me to accomplish my goals without doing a thing
Mornings are now pleasant.
They keep me sane
a million other things0 -
Absolutely no regrets here... my life has changed only for the better. I love my son, he is my little miracle baby and life is just amazing with him. There is nothing in life greater than the joy of raising a child.. (IMO).
well said and I feel the same way! I would give up everything in the world to make sure my babe is happy!0 -
Sure, you have less time to yourself, your house is almost always a wreck with scattered toys, and you and your husband would rather sleep that to do the naughty when you get five minutes alone, BUT, you learn to appreciate the little things more than you ever have! The worse day in the world can be instantly better with an "I love you mama" or having a dandelion brought to you is better than getting a dozen roses! I don't remember what an adult life is, but I wouldn't change it for the world, because I've got someone 10x as honest and 100% sweeter than any adult I could ever hang out with!!0
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You'll know when you are ready. I remember asking my husband, "Can we try having a baby?" You find that nothing really changes in your life. You might scale back on things like where you vacation to and other luxury items, but having children are a blessing, a sacrifice, something you find yourself living for.0
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I finally have a good reason to get up in the morning...
best reply ever...although i doubt all the loving posts don't have teenagers yet lol0 -
There simply is no greater love. Until you have children, you'll never understand this. You may think you understand it but it is not comparable to anything.
Oh - and I have 5 children - two of them teenagers
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I have had a very good experience as a mom. My body was not ruined, if anything... nursing and setting a good example for my daughter has made me eat healthier and work out harder. I enjoy everything so much more, a babies laugh for instance was 'cute' before but now it is a mood enhancer. The only thing that I have noticed the most is o more sleeping in. AT ALL. My daughter likes to be up before 8 no matter what. Other than that, things take a little more time and patience but having kids has made my life more whole 0
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Honestly, if I had it to do over again I would not have had kids. I did it because that was what I thought I was supposed to do and I wanted to be "normal".
My 8 year old son is a good little man. My 7 year old daughter, who was 15 weeks premature and has cerebral palsy, is a chore. I absolutely love my children, but I am not a good enough mother. I hate doing "mom stuff" like helping with homework, reading stories, and preparing for holidays.
Of course, my children will never know how I feel. My son is a total momma's boy and seems to worship the ground I walk on.0 -
LMAO! Ya, you never forget that "great" lovin' feelin'...EVER! My oldest is going on 6 and I remember every feeling of the "blow torch" like it was yesterday! That will teach me to not have DRUGS!!..LOLI am much stickier and having experienced natural childbirth I now have a deeper understanding of the song, "Burning Ring of Fire".
Props to y'all. As soon as my doctor asked me what kind of birth plan I'd like to follow I said "give me drugs." My bf's mom went drug free with him and his brother, 10 lbs and 11 lbs respectively. That woman is a SOLDIER.0 -
Honestly, if I had it to do over again I would not have had kids. I did it because that was what I thought I was supposed to do and I wanted to be "normal".
My 8 year old son is a good little man. My 7 year old daughter, who was 15 weeks premature and has cerebral palsy, is a chore. I absolutely love my children, but I am not a good enough mother. I hate doing "mom stuff" like helping with homework, reading stories, and preparing for holidays.
Of course, my children will never know how I feel. My son is a total momma's boy and seems to worship the ground I walk on.
I respect you for admitting how you feel. I don't think it's fair for a person to have to have children just because they think they should. I sometimes think that's why my brother and his wife had a child (they are in their 40s and had never planned on children until the last couple years, but I think it was because they were both being nagged for grandchildren). They are wonderful parents to their newborn, but I often wonder if they had him because they wanted to or because they felt like they had to.
Having children is a lifelong commitment and it's not for everybody. Some people love helping with homework, reading bedtime stories, going to t-ball practice...and some people just don't. And that's totally ok!0 -
I'm at the other end of children. My children range from 36 to 41 years old. This amazes me.
But looking back today, I would change very, very little about my life. I went through some very hard times. I have regrets, but if I changed those things, other good things might not have happened. Life is a mixed bag, and in order to not have ups and downs, we'd have to have neutral lives.
I have four children. All so very different from each other, and each one of them is incredibly valuable to me.
The bad times fade in my memory. The joys I cling to.
My husband was a great father, husband, and a good worker at work. He turned down opportunities for further schooling and to advance into management. He did that because his time with us was so important. He lived for us (still does.) He was devoted to us. He supported us just fine, and was truly there for us. He is retired now and I cherish every moment now.
But like I said, there were some very rough times in my life. Today those look like learning times.
Oh, we aren't where we thought we'd be. We had our lives carefully laid out and had a cushy retirement planned. Then there was the crash of aerospace in Southern California. Then the national economic crash a few years ago. We suffered big financial losses. Our retirement isn't at all what we'd planned. But you know, we're happy.
Priorities change over time for a lot of people. We have much less and don't live where we thought we would. But we have each other and so enjoy life now.
I'm glad my husband loved his job. I'm glad he chose us as his priority throughout. And I chose him and our kids as mine.
I've had adventures and alot of fun. Being a SAHM didn't make my life boring. And for you young moms, take heart, as they grow more and more, you get freer and freer. They do grow up.0 -
I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.0 -
It is so hard. You cannot comprehend how it would change your life. You become a different person, and when they are young, it will feel like you aren't a person at all. But it comes back after a while, and you get to start adding in your wants and needs to the pile, and it gets easier. I'm sure that changes when they hit the teenage years, but for now, my girls and I have got a sweet system going. And at least daily, I have that moment where looking at them I realize that these are MY little people, to raise and love and teach about the world, and I am knocked flat. There is simply no comparison.
Going out is a pain in the rear, and I lost a lot of friends when we moved into family mode so early (21 is early here), but I have new friends that can relate to my life. Give me a couple bottles of wine and my mommy friends, life is good.
I wouldn't change it for the world.0 -
Well, I have 6 kids and I truly love it. We did get married young, but did not have kids right away. He finished school, we traveled, and we got to do "couple things". Then when we were ready, we started having children.
Downside of kids: My tummy is no longer pretty, house gets messy a lot, and money is tight. For me that is it.
If your kids are evil brats, then you have no one to blame but yourself!
My kids are great people. I love being with them. My oldest three sons are teenagers and they are fun to be around. I enjoyed the little kid stage, but now that they are more adult, I love that aspect of our relationship too. My oldest is 17 and when i think about him going away to college, I get teary eyed. Yes, that is what is suppose to happen, they grow up and move out, but I will miss seeing him every day.
This is how I truly feel (no wine needed). I have 6 kids and if we had the money, we would have had more. There are times that I need some time alone or wish the kitchen and laundry would clean itself. But the blessings far outweigh the irritations!0 -
Now, we're getting somewhere. i know you guys love your kids, but I get sick of the rainbows and unicorns that people paint when someone is thinking about it or asking what it's like. It's really really really tough. That fact should NOT be underemphasized, IMO.
Thanks for the honesty. I'll bow out now.
I've never met someone who under-emphasized how difficult it is to be a parent. Contrary to that, I had people telling me my life was over when I was expecting. That I found annoying, because my life is far from over, its been enriched. It helped me realize that going out to the pub every weekend isn't as exciting as watching your children smile at the animals at the zoo.
That's how I feel. I heard a ton of "your life will be over" "kiss the things you enjoy goodbye" "you'll never sleep again!" and I have had such a great experience. I don't miss my old life at all.
Then there are times when you step on a lego or an action figure and you want to punch a kitten because it hurts so bad. But then your 5 year old says "I'm sorry your foot hurts mommy, I'll kiss it." And you kinda forget about the lego (kinda).0 -
Now, we're getting somewhere. i know you guys love your kids, but I get sick of the rainbows and unicorns that people paint when someone is thinking about it or asking what it's like. It's really really really tough. That fact should NOT be underemphasized, IMO.
Thanks for the honesty. I'll bow out now.
I know what you meant, and how you feel, and I agree and understand.
Yes, I love my kids. I think they are awesome people.
But I did not instantly bond with them as babies and felt more like a babysitter at first and I GREW to love them over time. There were times when I was rocking him ALL NIGHT and crying my eyes out because I was SO tired and had nobody to help me.
It is NOT all rainbows and sunshine.
The part I never understood is when people say they would DIE for their kids since the moment they were born. It took a few months for me to feel that protective over them.
They are 16 and 11 now, and they are awesome little people and I love them, but I don't love them MORE than my boyfriend, or my mom, or anyone else that I love. Love is love. I don't have a different or stronger love for my boys like others say they do.0
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