How has having a child affected your life?
Replies
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I can't believe how many people seem to have regrets about having children.
My son is my world, I had him when I was 23... he's now 10 months and is a very stubborn, determined beautiful little boy who is an absolute handful as he has just learned to walk. Being a Mum isn't easy and you have to work hard for the rewards and I find I'm constantly worrying if he's alright being a first time mum... but every time I look at my son it melts my heart and I'm proud of every little thing he does. I work full time and don't really get time to do things for myself but I wouldn't have it any other way!! He never fails to make me smile and every time he laughs or says Mama... I know that he was worth every stretch mark, the traumatic 3 day labour and all the sleepless nights since. Once you have a baby nothings about you anymore the little person you have made will always come first, but it doesn't bother me I love spoiling him... It makes you appreciate the rare night out or a new pair of shoes but I'm always desperate to get home to him. I think being a Mummy has always been my purpose in life... It's the most amazing journey you'll ever take!!0 -
I'm a bit biased in my opinion. I have the easiest 4 year old ever. He is well behaved, smart, likes the same movies and music as me, can take a shower alone, get himself dressed, get himself a snack and keeps himself entertained. It's like having a small clone of myself in my house and it never gets old.
I was 19 when I got pregnant, was beaten by his father during and after my pregnancy. We lived in a crappy, $400/month apartment surrounded by HUD housing and lots of crime. I was able to find a job as a receptionist when I was about 3 months along, worked my way up to the job I have now and haven't seen his dad for a long time. I now have a nice 3-bedroom house, fenced in yard and amazing, loving boyfriend. I think this may even be the first time in my life I have felt truely happy.0 -
I've been a mother for 18 years now. And I have given birth to six children.
Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I have to think about other people besides myself. No, I can't do some of the things I want to do.
But I can still see friends, study martial arts, lift weights, go on dates with my hubby, and play guitar on the front porch.
Every time that man and I have another baby together, I fall in love with him all over again. I so love watching him be a father to his children!
I am hugged, kissed, and told "I love you" every day by at least 7 different people. I was never so loved or felt so much love before having children.
My children are a great source of entertainment. I never laughed or smiled so much before having children.
Being a mother has caused me to learn about things like midwifery, nutrition, medicine, organic gardening, herbal remedies, vaccinations, English grammar, politics, helicopters, art history, classical music...children have definitely made me smarter. I never had people asking so much for my advice or opinions before having children.
Children who are taught responsibility are a great help around the house. The 18, 11, 8, and 5 year olds have chores in the house and yard. If I'm too tired to cook dinner, I have 2 other cooks in the house ( I don't count hubby as a cook
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My oldest daughter is now technically an adult, and we share many of the same interests. It's almost like having a live-in BFF.
And my body is NOT ruined. Although I may have a few stretch marks and "the girls" aren't as perky as I was when I was 20, I am d@mn hot! Or so I'm told frequently, by a guy that I think is pretty hot himself. Oh, yeah, I still get hit on, and I still get dates! And i have live-in babysitters now, too (of course I ASK, and I pay them.)0 -
Well I can definitely see and understand the good and the bad of what has been said about having kids. I loved being a mom when the kids were little. I was a stay at home mother for twelve years. Absolutely loved being home with my kids, teaching them, having fun with them, etc... Now I have three teens- a 19 year old, 17 year old and 15 year old. There are so many times I am so frustrated with them or they choose to do something that breaks my heart that I will wonder why I ever had children. But I realize I don't want to be rid of them-what I do want is to be rid of the situation they have put me in at the moment. Today my oldest broke my heart. I had to go to the county jail to visit him. I have never been in trouble with the law in my entire life, never stepped a foot in a jail or even close and there I was in line to visit an inmate. Very humbling and a little humiliating on my part. Then to see my son crying on the other side of the glass-he broke my heart. And it was very hard to tell him no I was not going to bail him out and that he would have to pay for the choices he made. Mothering is hard. I wanted to take the easy way out and pay everything and make things better for him but I know he needed to learn something and hopefully keep him from going down that road ever again. Now I'm looking forward to the days when I will be a grandma. Love on the kids and send them home!0
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I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.0 -
How has it changed my life... I now have someone I would die for.
This X 1,000!!! In a heartbeat
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I guess I should mentioned that I did everything I wanted to do in my 20's. I traveled extensively, went out, finished college with honors, visited museums, etc you get the picture. Personally, I didn't want to get married or have kids until my 30's. I wanted to do the things I wanted to do before I could dedicate my time completely to another person and well babies, they require attention 24/7. I got married at 30 and had my baby at 31. I wouldn't change a thing. How has it affected my life? Well, I don't play video games as much as I used to but I am ok with it. I just play when the kiddo goes to bed. Other than that, it just takes a tad longer to get ready to go anywhere and I have to pick up toys 50 times a day. It's a nice experience when you are ready for it. On the pro side, my kid is wonderful!
I think the problem a lot of women suffer is when they start having sex at a younger age, end up getting pregnant and don't accomplish the dreams/goals they had in mind. While it's completely doable, it's a lot harder to go to college and do the things you want to do when you have a child.0 -
I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
That's terrible! You know, it's not your son's fault you decided to have sex at 14? You brought him into the world. Why make his and your mother's life a living hell just because you decided to have sex? Poor kid.
Reading what you just posted makes me sad. A lot of kids grow up having emotional issues thanks to the irresponsibility of their parents.0 -
: Yes in a good way. xxx Of course if i was younger and had bags of confidence i would of maybe travelled etc. That didnt happen, but i guess things happen for a reason And.. i love my children with all my heart.
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No one is going to answer ths honestly. If you want the truth, corner a few moms somtime after a couple glasses of wine. Then, you'll get the real deal. Everyone here is going to only answer in a positive way. But, that's not the norm. Those that don't feel all gushy and wonderful will just stay silent. Take my advice and talk to a few moms.
I am one of those rare folks who will always tell it how it is. Just don't ask if you don't want to know... so here it goes. Are there good and bad? You bet your *kitten* there is. Here are the things to remember:
~If you have things you want to experience first, then do them. Having kids does complicate that and you don't want to regret having them
~ If you are unsure due to how you feel, then hold off. When the time is right, you will know
Now my reasoning: am I happy as heck to have 3 kids? You bet your butt. HOWEVER... sometimes when the kids come it is even more than you expected. I was expecting to not be able to go out much at all, knowing my family was not there to help. I knew there would be many nights I would stay awake to feed, soothe, and rock the child... nights when I would be cleaning up puke, patting down fevers, and cleaning up messes from other places due to illness. What I didn't see coming: 2 out of my 3 kids are disabled. Not with the same disabilities either. TOTALLY new ballgame now. Emotional rollercoasters, you literally give up everything at that point due to the thousands of dollars in medical bills, juggling work schedules with 4 specialist appts/wk, 3 physical therapy appointments/wk... can't go "here" cause they have "this" that might react to my child... no one wants to hang out with you because you spend your time trying to help your kids with activities of daily living. It's rough, and it's hard...and not always "according to plan".
With that being said: I adore my kids and BECAUSE of my life revolving around them and their needs, we have all become very tight and bonded. We are mother/child and best of friends all at once. They are older now, so don't need "mommy" as often, which has taken us to a new level. Each stage has made me thankful, and want to rip out all my hair, at the same time, LOL. I know that sounds odd, but truly the feelings come at the same dang time! My oldest is 18... he has thanked me for all I have done for him and continue to do... he doesn't have to, it's kind of implied in the mommy handbook, but it makes me feel good to hear it. The youngest is now 13... and all 3 contribute to the community: they do charity work, participate in helping out at Special Olympics, do walks for causes, etc. They are amazing individuals and I would change nothing about how I did it... but it's because I was ready and wanting children. The unexpected that popped up... well... didn't change the fact that I had the kids I wanted... that I loved... that I WANTED to base all my decisions on their best interest.. that I would see a bit of myself in each
They are wonderful and heart-wrenching all at the same time. Be ready and it will be a joy either way... not ready and you will live with regrets.0 -
I am much stickier and having experienced natural childbirth I now have a deeper understanding of the song, "Burning Ring of Fire".
I literally laughed out loud at this! You know, i was one of those new moms who was determined to do drug free natural child birth. The good old "ring of fire hit" and half a second later I was screaming for an epidural and claiming my undying love for anyone who came into the room with a needle. Ha!0 -
I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
And yet you have money for a computer or a phone that connects you to the internet?0 -
bump0
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I do feel the need to add more info so my statement about my daughter being a chore can be properly understood.
I never really felt like my daughter was mine, which has made dealing with her disability extremely difficult. She was whisked away to the NICU at birth and I did not even get to see her until several hours later. I did not get to touch her for a week and I didn't get to hold her until she was a month old. She spent 3 months in the hospital, where I felt like just a visitor, before we could take her home.
In her first 4 years, Lily was in and out of intensive care. I stopped counting her surgeries at 15...she's probably close to 20 now. All but one of those surgeries were on her brain for treatment of hydrocephalus. Because of her brain injury, Lily has physical, cognitive, and behavioral issues. A normal child grows out of the "terrible twos"...Lily did not. Caring for Lily is like caring for a perpetually bratty toddler who can not walk. She weighs 50 pounds now and is getting difficult to lift. She hits, screams, and throws things. More than once she has blacked my eye. It's never really intentional, but horribly painful and frustrating all the same.
Yes, I love her, but the lack of ability to properly bond with her as a newborn has had a profound effect.0 -
Then maybe she should've let me put him up for adoption when I said I wanted to. WAY before he was even born. No it's not his fault but my mother should have just listened to me.I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
That's terrible! You know, it's not your son's fault you decided to have sex at 14? You brought him into the world. Why make his and your mother's life a living hell just because you decided to have sex? Poor kid.
Reading what you just posted makes me sad. A lot of kids grow up having emotional issues thanks to the irresponsibility of their parents.
Btw you have no idea how my life is or how I feel. Until you switch bodies, minds, souls, hearts with me you'll NEVER know.0 -
my hopes and dreams became unattainable. my body was ruined. i missed out on my twenties (while all my friends were experiencing freedom and youth, i was changing diapers). i've had to work twice as hard for half the money. relationships are awkward and difficult. i rarely have time to and/or for myself.
There's also a down side.
Wow, I was hoping that you'd conclude by saying, "and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for all the money in the world." :ohwell:
My wife and I would gladly trade some of these so-called "problems" for a baby. Hopefully, we'll get one before too long. 0 -
Phone is paid for by a friend, internet comes from library...which is free.I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
And yet you have money for a computer or a phone that connects you to the internet?0 -
I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
I applaud you for telling the truth about how you feel. A lot of replies are the so called "super moms" who ENJOY soccer practice and helping with homework. NOT EVERYONE likes this stuff. I HATE it. I like hanging out on the couch with my son, playing video games or whatever. But I don't do extracurricular activities or homework stuff. My parents take him to all his sports, doctor's appointments, school functions, etc. Granted, it is because my work schedule doesn't allow me to easily do so, and they are available and willing and eager to, so it works out perfectly, because I am GLAD my work schedule gives me the excuse to avoid those tedious tasks.0 -
Perfect thread to read righ now as Im ready to choke my 7 year old (joking just in case someone thinks otherwise). Having kids is hard work. I have 3 under 10 and Im on mom duty 24/7. Is it hard?? Yes!! Are there days I am at my breaking point?? For sure!
But the smiles, the hug and kisses, and the amount of unconditional love kids give you makes it all worth it!0 -
Having children gave me a purpose. Not that I didn't have one before, but now i have 2 lives that look up to me, learn from me, depend on me & love me unconditionally. I have 2 people who share my appreciation of superheroes, Phineas & Ferb, Spongebob, snowball fights & so many of the little things in life that we tend to overlook.
Sure, I've had to give up sleep, free time, doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted & being able to buy whatever I wanted for myself, but I couldn't care less. I'd give up my life for my children without a moments hesitation & have no regrets doing so.
Having children has helped me respect my father even more, and has helped me be a better father, husband & most importantly, a better person. I just hope I can prepare them for the lives they have ahead of them & be there whenever they need me.0 -
Btw everyone, I'm not saying I hate my son. I love him to death and would protect him with my life. All I'm saying is, I'm still not ready to be a mother. Sure, maybe I need to grow up, but I'll do that when I'm ready, NOT WHEN YOU TELL ME TO. My mother doesn't complain. As long as I pay for his things she's fine. He's nanna's love bug and always will be. When I'm ready to be the super mom the rest of you are I'll be that. But right now I hate it. I want to randomly jump on a plane to visit an out of state friend. I want to live on campus, drink at frat parties, live like the movie college students. I want control of my own life, whatever that might be.I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
I applaud you for telling the truth about how you feel. A lot of replies are the so called "super moms" who ENJOY soccer practice and helping with homework. NOT EVERYONE likes this stuff. I HATE it. I like hanging out on the couch with my son, playing video games or whatever. But I don't do extracurricular activities or homework stuff. My parents take him to all his sports, doctor's appointments, school functions, etc. Granted, it is because my work schedule doesn't allow me to easily do so, and they are available and willing and eager to, so it works out perfectly, because I am GLAD my work schedule gives me the excuse to avoid those tedious tasks.0 -
I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
I applaud you for telling the truth about how you feel. A lot of replies are the so called "super moms" who ENJOY soccer practice and helping with homework. NOT EVERYONE likes this stuff. I HATE it. I like hanging out on the couch with my son, playing video games or whatever. But I don't do extracurricular activities or homework stuff. My parents take him to all his sports, doctor's appointments, school functions, etc. Granted, it is because my work schedule doesn't allow me to easily do so, and they are available and willing and eager to, so it works out perfectly, because I am GLAD my work schedule gives me the excuse to avoid those tedious tasks.
Not everyone woman is cut out to be a mom or even likes it. I think what seems wrong about HorrorChix replies, is the blaming of others for her situation. That retarded video in the 4th grade, she was not in the popular group, she had sex to be liked, taking no responsibility for her son and pushing him off on her mother even though she wanted to give him up for adoption.
There comes a point where a person should no longer be selfish. She even blames him for her not being in the same school (I am assuming the same school that did not accept her into the popular group). Her son is a person with feelings, and trust me, he will be able to detect her vile feelings for him. And it truly breaks my heart for that child.
I had a friend that got pregnant at 17. She wanted to give him up, her parents begged to not do it. She kept him. She hated him and eventually gave him up to her parents. She said he was her little brother, but she did not even treat him like she treated her real brother. I was in her wedding, she took pictures with every single family member but her own son (and knew at that point that she was his birth mom) All he wanted was his mom's love and she shunned him. Still makes me cry when i think about it.
Our kids were not asked to come into this world. But when you CHOOSE to bring a child into this world, you better make damn sure that you love that child and not blame them because your life sucks!!!0 -
Btw everyone, I'm not saying I hate my son. I love him to death and would protect him with my life. All I'm saying is, I'm still not ready to be a mother. Sure, maybe I need to grow up, but I'll do that when I'm ready, NOT WHEN YOU TELL ME TO. My mother doesn't complain. As long as I pay for his things she's fine. He's nanna's love bug and always will be. When I'm ready to be the super mom the rest of you are I'll be that. But right now I hate it. I want to randomly jump on a plane to visit an out of state friend. I want to live on campus, drink at frat parties, live like the movie college students. I want control of my own life, whatever that might be.
I'm not much on using bible verses, but I'm going to paraphrase. Let those without sin cast the first stone. Nobody else can tell you how you should live your life. Everyone has made mistakes in theirs, so if they think they can sit & judge you, they can take a big spoonful of STFU.0 -
I NEVER blamed my son for anything. I have no idea where you get that from. And I NEVER said I hated my son or have "vile feelings for him." Maybe you should go back and read what I said, then read it 3 more times over.Not everyone woman is cut out to be a mom or even likes it. I think what seems wrong about HorrorChix replies, is the blaming of others for her situation. That retarded video in the 4th grade, she was not in the popular group, she had sex to be liked, taking no responsibility for her son and pushing him off on her mother even though she wanted to give him up for adoption.
There comes a point where a person should no longer be selfish. She even blames him for her not being in the same school (I am assuming the same school that did not accept her into the popular group). Her son is a person with feelings, and trust me, he will be able to detect her vile feelings for him. And it truly breaks my heart for that child.
I had a friend that got pregnant at 17. She wanted to give him up, her parents begged to not do it. She kept him. She hated him and eventually gave him up to her parents. She said he was her little brother, but she did not even treat him like she treated her real brother. I was in her wedding, she took pictures with every single family member but her own son (and knew at that point that she was his birth mom) All he wanted was his mom's love and she shunned him. Still makes me cry when i think about it.
Our kids were not asked to come into this world. But when you CHOOSE to bring a child into this world, you better make damn sure that you love that child and not blame them because your life sucks!!!0 -
I have been incredibly humbled. I was the perfect parent 5 years ago. My oldest is 4.0
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I NEVER blamed my son for anything. I have no idea where you get that from. And I NEVER said I hated my son or have "vile feelings for him." Maybe you should go back and read what I said, then read it 3 more times over.Not everyone woman is cut out to be a mom or even likes it. I think what seems wrong about HorrorChix replies, is the blaming of others for her situation. That retarded video in the 4th grade, she was not in the popular group, she had sex to be liked, taking no responsibility for her son and pushing him off on her mother even though she wanted to give him up for adoption.
There comes a point where a person should no longer be selfish. She even blames him for her not being in the same school (I am assuming the same school that did not accept her into the popular group). Her son is a person with feelings, and trust me, he will be able to detect her vile feelings for him. And it truly breaks my heart for that child.
I had a friend that got pregnant at 17. She wanted to give him up, her parents begged to not do it. She kept him. She hated him and eventually gave him up to her parents. She said he was her little brother, but she did not even treat him like she treated her real brother. I was in her wedding, she took pictures with every single family member but her own son (and knew at that point that she was his birth mom) All he wanted was his mom's love and she shunned him. Still makes me cry when i think about it.
Our kids were not asked to come into this world. But when you CHOOSE to bring a child into this world, you better make damn sure that you love that child and not blame them because your life sucks!!!
I'm glad you love him! A lot of kids end up in these sh!tty situations where they get treated terribly because the mother didn't know how to close her legs or say no. No, I don't know your situation, how you live, where you live but I can only imagine that having a kid at 14 must of have been VERY hard. Extremely hard.0 -
While they are tedious, I guess when people sign up to become parents, they are aware that they will be sacrificing their time to raise a good person. I mean who has children and says "Well, I want to do the fun stuff but someone else has to do the tedious sh$t. Yeah, I don't want to do that."? :huh:I got pregnant when I was 14.
No friends in High School
Teased Everyday (more than often, I use to be teased in Middle School for having short hair and glasses)
Having the boys avoid me cause they thought I wanted to make them my baby daddy
No sleep
No fun
No real college life
No real teenage life
No life what so ever
Tell a guy you have a son they soon forget that they ever liked you
I wanted to put my son up for adoption when he was born cause I knew I wouldn't make a good mother on my own. My mother said I had to keep him. Now I throw him off on her whenever possible. Not on purpose but because well...I'm still trying to make up for the life I lost when I was 14.
14?! Aren't kids suppose to be pretend to be kids at 14?! Yiiikes!
Also, I do hope you are joking about putting your child off to your mom because you are trying to play catch up. She raised you, she needs a break too, you know.
Since that retarded video we had to watch in 4th grade and everyone started to change randomly, I fell into the "unwanted" group while everyone else fell into the popular crowd (and still are to this day). I thought sex was something I had to do to be liked by others. Found out the hard way that I was terribly wrong.
And NO I'm NOT kidding about putting my son off on my mother. I told her I wouldn't be a good mother. I cried to her and begged her to put him up for adoption so he could at least have a normal life. She said no, that if anyone adopts her grandson it would be her. Well now look, 8 years later and 10 more to go.
I hate helping with homework, going to doctor appointments, reading, writing, all that. If I didn't have a child I'd still be in school at the school I want to be living the life I want to live. My mother wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed and we'd probably be able to afford to keep the lights on and food on the table.
I applaud you for telling the truth about how you feel. A lot of replies are the so called "super moms" who ENJOY soccer practice and helping with homework. NOT EVERYONE likes this stuff. I HATE it. I like hanging out on the couch with my son, playing video games or whatever. But I don't do extracurricular activities or homework stuff. My parents take him to all his sports, doctor's appointments, school functions, etc. Granted, it is because my work schedule doesn't allow me to easily do so, and they are available and willing and eager to, so it works out perfectly, because I am GLAD my work schedule gives me the excuse to avoid those tedious tasks.0 -
I NEVER blamed my son for anything. I have no idea where you get that from. And I NEVER said I hated my son or have "vile feelings for him." Maybe you should go back and read what I said, then read it 3 more times over.Not everyone woman is cut out to be a mom or even likes it. I think what seems wrong about HorrorChix replies, is the blaming of others for her situation. That retarded video in the 4th grade, she was not in the popular group, she had sex to be liked, taking no responsibility for her son and pushing him off on her mother even though she wanted to give him up for adoption.
There comes a point where a person should no longer be selfish. She even blames him for her not being in the same school (I am assuming the same school that did not accept her into the popular group). Her son is a person with feelings, and trust me, he will be able to detect her vile feelings for him. And it truly breaks my heart for that child.
I had a friend that got pregnant at 17. She wanted to give him up, her parents begged to not do it. She kept him. She hated him and eventually gave him up to her parents. She said he was her little brother, but she did not even treat him like she treated her real brother. I was in her wedding, she took pictures with every single family member but her own son (and knew at that point that she was his birth mom) All he wanted was his mom's love and she shunned him. Still makes me cry when i think about it.
Our kids were not asked to come into this world. But when you CHOOSE to bring a child into this world, you better make damn sure that you love that child and not blame them because your life sucks!!!
Oh Trust me, I did read everything that you wrote and read it over a few times before I replied.
You did post this after I posted what I wrote.Btw everyone, I'm not saying I hate my son. I love him to death and would protect him with my life. All I'm saying is, I'm still not ready to be a mother. Sure, maybe I need to grow up, but I'll do that when I'm ready, NOT WHEN YOU TELL ME TO. My mother doesn't complain. As long as I pay for his things she's fine. He's nanna's love bug and always will be. When I'm ready to be the super mom the rest of you are I'll be that. But right now I hate it. I want to randomly jump on a plane to visit an out of state friend. I want to live on campus, drink at frat parties, live like the movie college students. I want control of my own life, whatever that might be.
That was good to read. The only issue that I have here is, you had a kid at 14. That was the time for you to grow up. When we have children, we have to grow up. You made that decision, not me or anyone else on here.
And not everyone gets to live on campus, drink at frat parties, and live the college life like the movies. I didn't and nether did my husband and we didn't even have kids. Most people do not live that glamor life that we see in movies. And who jumps on a plane to visit friends? Would you really have that much money if you did not have one child? You are wanting to do things that in the big picture of life is not as important as a child's feelings and emotional well being.
You know how you regret what you missed as a teenager...make sure that you do not miss special things with your son. He will be grown and you might look back and wish that you had done things differently.0 -
How about we just agree that you aren't Me. You'll never be the person I am because they haven't invented the body transfer machine yet. You can be super mom and all rainbows and sunshine, but I'm giving how ME, MYSELF, AND I feel about my experience having a child.Oh Trust me, I did read everything that you wrote and read it over a few times before I replied.
You did post this after I posted what I wrote.Btw everyone, I'm not saying I hate my son. I love him to death and would protect him with my life. All I'm saying is, I'm still not ready to be a mother. Sure, maybe I need to grow up, but I'll do that when I'm ready, NOT WHEN YOU TELL ME TO. My mother doesn't complain. As long as I pay for his things she's fine. He's nanna's love bug and always will be. When I'm ready to be the super mom the rest of you are I'll be that. But right now I hate it. I want to randomly jump on a plane to visit an out of state friend. I want to live on campus, drink at frat parties, live like the movie college students. I want control of my own life, whatever that might be.
That was good to read. The only issue that I have here is, you had a kid at 14. That was the time for you to grow up. When we have children, we have to grow up. You made that decision, not me or anyone else on here.
And not everyone gets to live on campus, drink at frat parties, and live the college life like the movies. I didn't and nether did my husband and we didn't even have kids. Most people do not live that glamor life that we see in movies. And who jumps on a plane to visit friends? Would you really have that much money if you did not have one child? You are wanting to do things that in the big picture of life is not as important as a child's feelings and emotional well being.
You know how you regret what you missed as a teenager...make sure that you do not miss special things with your son. He will be grown and you might look back and wish that you had done things differently.
I'll live what I have left of my life and you should live yours.0 -
I'm glad you love him! A lot of kids end up in these sh!tty situations where they get treated terribly because the mother didn't know how to close her legs or say no. No, I don't know your situation, how you live, where you live but I can only imagine that having a kid at 14 must of have been VERY hard. Extremely hard.
Exactly, and to be honest, I was afraid that was the situation here. I cold be wrong because I do not know her...my heart was going out to the son because he needs his mom too!! I have 5 sons and moms are very important to them!!While they are tedious, I guess when people sign up to become parents, they are aware that they will be sacrificing their time to raise a good person. I mean who has children and says "Well, I want to do the fun stuff but someone else has to do the tedious sh$t. Yeah, I don't want to do that."? :huh:
Haha..yeah, I mean I do not like killing bugs for a bug project or cleaning puke off of the carpet....but I am mom!! And plus, the good things far outweigh the bad stuff! Can you imagine getting job and telling the boss, I hate writing up contracts and keeping up with the money that is brought in, but I do like doing the fun stuff! Let the other people do the ****ty stuff!0
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