ladies help! my mom and girlfriend dont like each other

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DavetheHYNIC
DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
in Chit-Chat
So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".


How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?
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  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
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    If you are serious about this girl, they are going to have to learn to live with each other. I am fortunate in that I get along great with my mother-in-law. She still does things to drive me nuts, but at the end of the day, I have to respect her because she is the hubs mom and my kids' grandmother. Like it or lump it.
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
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    And you can't be that big of a jerk if you love your mama so much!
  • KaciWood19
    KaciWood19 Posts: 553 Member
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    Did your gf know she was going to be meeting your mom? If so, she def. should have dressed better. Especially if she works for a fortune 500 co, then she should know how to dress properly. Sometimes people just don't get along, but if she didn't make any effort to impress your mom who is important to you, to me that says she just doesn't really care. Some women are threatened by mother in laws and all that good stuff. Doesn't seem to me from what you said that she cared very much about making a good impression.
  • Cindym82
    Cindym82 Posts: 1,245 Member
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    No girlfriend and mom ever really get along. Me and my boyfriend's mom got along GREAT until we moved in together, now we're in a constant battle with each other and she did some really f**ked up stuff to me so the boyfriend finally put his foot down with her and she's starting to back off. She acts like I took her baby away, mid you we're 30yrs old. So you have to decide if you can live with it that's all
  • weathergirl320
    weathergirl320 Posts: 331
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    They will eventually get along. Just don't get in the middle or make a big deal about it
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
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    I for one would have NEVER worn a tight short skirt to meet the mother of my boyfriend....sheesh.... those are for clubs or a night on the town....not for dinner at a house...... she needs a wardrobe overhaul
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    Did your gf know she was going to be meeting your mom? If so, she def. should have dressed better. Especially if she works for a fortune 500 co, then she should know how to dress properly. Sometimes people just don't get along, but if she didn't make any effort to impress your mom who is important to you, to me that says she just doesn't really care. Some women are threatened by mother in laws and all that good stuff. Doesn't seem to me from what you said that she cared very much about making a good impression.

    Agreed! I always try and make a good first impression when meeting a partners parents/close friends. I wouldn't ever consider wearing a short tight skirt for a first meeting..........
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    sorry but your mother sounds like a horrible person! She needs to keep her mouth shut if she has nothing nice to say! AND she does'nt lack "tact" she is just outright RUDE. I don't blame your girlfriend for not liking her-I haven't met her and I would never want to!
  • sing4me4you
    sing4me4you Posts: 88 Member
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    Just be natural and put them together when it is possible. Your mom was a bit over the top but so was your GF and they'll either learn to respect one another or not. You really have no control over this situation and leaving either of them is not fair to you. Good luck.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    They will eventually get along. Just don't get in the middle or make a big deal about it

    Don't agree with this. My MIL and I still don't get along.

    And PLEASE tell me you told your mother that her comment was completely inappropriate. If you can't stand up to your mother now, you never will. If your GF were asking for advice, I'd tell her to run for the hills if you didn't stand up for her.

    ETA: Just saw the leav mom is not an option. Yep, if you can't put your GF who could potentially become your WIFE (i.e. #1 woman in your life. Period. End. O. Story.) first in a little thing. You will never put her first. It's your choice to be a momma's boy or to be a man.
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
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    So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".


    How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?

    I would be offended too. In your previous post, you obviously didn't listen to the comments. It's not that you told your GF that your ex was going to be there. It's that you told your GF that your ex always looks good, so she should too. Thereby implying that your GF doesn't always look good.

    If you though your mom would hate something your GF was wearing and it was the first time they were ever going to meet, you really should have told your GF. You are really the cause of this problem. Why would you put her in that situation?

    Tell your mother and your GF both to get over themselves. Remind your mother that her comment was incredibly rude. Remind your GF that your mother is your mother and they are going to have to get along.

    Honestly, if you are even considering leaving your GF because your mother was rude to her and she didn't like it, your relationship has some pretty serious issues.
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
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    Together, after time, they are both going to make your life hell because of their feelings towards each other. Yucky situation.

    I hate my son's girlfriend but he is only 14 and I'm hoping the little tramp just goes away. She has gotten my otherwise kind, caring son in to more trouble in six months than he's ever been in his lifetime.
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
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    Together, after time, they are both going to make your life hell because of their feelings towards each other. Yucky situation.

    I hate my son's girlfriend but he is only 14 and I'm hoping the little tramp just goes away. She has gotten my otherwise kind, caring son in to more trouble in six months than he's ever been in his lifetime.
    I am so not looking forward to this!
  • thinktank32k
    thinktank32k Posts: 716
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    Golden Rule: Do unto others as you want done unto you. And this goes for old and young.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Wow your mom's a b****.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".


    How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?

    On your last post my issue wasn't with you giving your gf a heads up, it was your approach. This time, it's with not giving your gf a heads up. Have a talk with both of them about first impressions:

    To the gf: I'm really sorry that my mom offended you, she just has a quirky sense of humor and a more traditional taste in clothing. You're both extremely important to me and it would mean a lot to me if we could give this another, fresh start.

    To the mom: Mom, you really offended gf, while she is fun and funny she just doesn't have your sense of humor and with her figure even conservative clothing is sentuious. You're both extremely important to me and it would mean a lot to me if we could give this another, fresh start based on personality not taste in attire.
  • BurkeshireFarms
    BurkeshireFarms Posts: 45 Member
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    Sorry for your akward position.

    I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with your Mother and ask her to tone it down a bit. Tell her, in the nicest possible way, that you're really into this girl and would like the relationship to run it's course without her intervention. That you appreciate her opinion but outbursts like the one she had the other night will only drive a wedge between you and her ("Mom") and to avoid further controversy see less of her (her again being "Mom").
  • whitleynoel
    whitleynoel Posts: 198 Member
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    She should NEVER have worn that to meet your mother!!! As a girl I would have apprecieated it if my boyfriend would say, "hey you look great but maybe you should save that outfit for another night when we go out , my mother is a bit more constervative than that." Also, you never want to alienate your family for someone which I understand it hard when you obviously like your girlfriend as well. Personally, I would let them both know that you care for the other and that you would appreciate it if they kept you out of the middle of everything, tell them that you don't necessarily have to like her but you have to understand that I do and accept that.

    It is really hard to constantly be making excuses for one party to the other!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    To the mom: Mom, you really offended gf, while she is fun and funny she just doesn't have your sense of humor and with her figure even conservative clothing is sentuious.
    What word is that supposed to be? Sen-too-ee-us?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I am kind of wondering how it's possible you even have a girlfriend. Does she not have any self-esteem?

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