men quick question

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  • stephenatl09
    stephenatl09 Posts: 186 Member
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    You forgot one major possiblity. Gay?

    ^^ this...
  • hewhoiscd
    hewhoiscd Posts: 1,029 Member
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    Are you working out and he isn't?
  • lilbpixie
    lilbpixie Posts: 51 Member
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    You forgot one major possiblity. Gay?


    This is why talking to men is impossible :laugh:
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    If you want sex, wait until he is naked (like in the shower) walk in and start giving him oral. A few minutes into it, stop, and tell him you want him to have sex with you. Once a man starts a sexual act, he is almost incapable of not finishing until he orgasms unless a plane crashes into his house or something.

    That worked for me .. for a while. But I wasn't getting any pleasure. I mean, I love oral, but he wasn't pleasuring me and after a while it stopped working because he got performence anxiety towards the end.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    Most women completely fail to understand that guys need TWO kinds of sex. One is the very attentive and loving kind that women say they want and the other is best described as a QUICKIE. If you don't give your guy about 10 quickies for every "attention session" then he is not getting what he wants.
    His desires count too.

    .......
  • jamja72
    jamja72 Posts: 192
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    You said he has body issues. Is he also working on his health as you are? If not he maybe feeling inadequate or being left behind as you are growing.
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
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    For me, it was a combination of depression AND body image.

    I'm not a man, but I have problems with a low sex drive for reasons including these as well as past sexual trama.
  • larkiedeek
    larkiedeek Posts: 203 Member
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    Does he think you've been cheating on him?
  • Jmstill300
    Jmstill300 Posts: 239 Member
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    i try to get it all the time. he just does not want to. and i mean i try. i walk around naked, i have bought cute outfits , nice undies, i have hills. curled my hair, got dolled up. and nothing. so the no quicky part or even sex part isnt bc of me.
    Oh my! :wink: Does he even realize how lucky he is that you do that for him? Most guys would be ALL OVER you if you did that! LOL
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
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    Also after reading through this entire topic- I personally find the larger issue his refusal to talk about it. In my opinion, communication is of even higher importance than sex in a relationships. I've had enough emotional draining, abusive, immature and ****ty relationships with AMAZING sex that helped me to realize, good sex only gets you so far.

    I think regardless of exact cause. The big problem is he doesn't want to make efforts to fix it, or even discuss it. Somethings gotta give, or your relationship will.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    Do you have children together? If not, I would be getting out of the relationship FOR SURE. Your husband should not tell you that you are cute, but not sexy. That's bullsh!t. You deserve better.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
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    communication is of even higher importance than sex

    It could be something, he feels he needs to fix on his own or something he is embarrassed about. And doesn't know of an avenue to take.

    Ether way, still agree with the above statement
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    Are you working out and he isn't?

    alot of things have been covered but this one stood out. it's possible he could be jealous/afraid you will look better over time and that you leave him.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    either he's not physiclly attracted to you anymore or he's gay, idk many if any guy that turns down sex this often
    How many guys have you propositioned? Sounds like you're speaking from experience.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    thats another thing girls he has noooo problem getting an errection. and he will not go to a counselor. he said and i quote " im mexican i dont need a counselor" idk what that means.

    coming from a latino family background to me that just means "I'm too proud to ask for help" it's not just latinos though. some men interpet counseling as a sign of weakness too.
  • TxAlpha
    TxAlpha Posts: 180 Member
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    Several possibilities....

    just know that most men cheat with less attractive women and if he is it's more of a mental thing.....men are fragile creatures too, and if they don't feel like the king of the castle or "the best most manly" in the world we tend to stray.....

    I'm from Dallas.....by the way....
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
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    Consider talking to your husband and stop asking strangers what could be the reason he doesn't want to have relations with you. Unless you want to have your head cluttered with a bunch of ideas that may not even be close to whatever the issue is, I seriously suggest you just ask "honey, what's up?" You may find out that just sincerely asking may open the door. Keep in mind, you'll need to put on your "tough skin" suit when you ask. What you may find out is something that maybe not what you want to hear. Hopefully, you too can have a healthy conversation about the issue and move on. You'll gain a great amount of respect if you go to the source rather than reaching for straws on a message board for answers/advice.

    I hate when people answer people like that. She is just getting different opinions/ideas; thats all.
    Sometimes I will post a question to complete strangers because it feels safer. But who cares what her reasons are for asking compete strangers.

    Plus, if she shouldn't be taking the advice of strangers (as you put it) why are you giving your advice? hmm?
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
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    Something that nobody has mentioned and is kind of important: drugs.

    If he is doing any kind of drugs, illegal or otherwise, this can and WILL affect his sex drive/interest.
  • 2fit4fat
    2fit4fat Posts: 559 Member
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    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too.. especially with a past of it. (or 3rd drugs maybe? even RX drugs BUT not all drugs will affect sex drive there is a lot of first hand knowledge of this in my family with both RX and not)i cant ever see my husband not wanting it for that long no matter how tired or stressed etc he gets (he is starting his own company so we know all too well about all of that right now) if he wont go to counseling that would make me personally back away and possibly leave. if he wont talk to me, or to a counselor, its like he is pushing away and doesnt want to work out whatever it is. maybe you should still go see a counselor, maybe the two of you can work on you!? maybe come up with something. but still if he isn't open with you after that short of time i would seriously think about what the future holds with him (i am 24 and my hubby is 25 we have been married for 3 years, have two kids and were high school sweeties and went through LOTS in that time but communication has always been very key)
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Some men have a problem talking about past issues. This would have nothing to do with you, but have you considered maybe a past trauma has been bothering him? I don't know, maybe being sexually abused or something in the past? Many times a guy's "machismo" puts up that wall and makes it difficult to speak about things. The fear of anybody finding out is sometimes more difficult than bringing it out in the open. Just a thought as I haven't seen it mentioned yet.
    Something is obviously bothering him and he is suffering. Not that you aren't. Without his side of the story and his ability to defend himself it is hard to say.

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