men quick question

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  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
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    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.

    I stand by my statement, and the OP's responses to other questions confirms my opinion.
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    bump..I'm in the same boat :grumble:
  • Keenasgettingfitnhealthy
    Keenasgettingfitnhealthy Posts: 169
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    okay so i have been coming up w reasons why a man wouldnt want to have "relations"...do it....w a woman. My husbands has body image issues and hes totally taking it to far but lately ive been wondering if thats what it really is. s0 here are the reasons ive come up with:
    1.affair
    2. hes not attracted to me
    3. hes tired
    4. he hates sex (yea right)
    5. he doesnt like the poontang, haha i rarely think its that,


    wo please if u have any ideas why guys dont want to well do it please add them. Remember this is from a womans point of view. i need a mans point of view. someone besides the husband,

    I went through a long period of this last year. For me is was a job I hated. I was continuously stressed out and getting very little sleep. Like you, My wife thought something was wrong with her. It wasn't.
    For him, it could be one or a combination of things; stress, tired, depression, poor confidence, low self esteem, poor diet, and not to mention any possible medical issues. You didn't mention how old he was. Testosterone levels decline with age after early thirties. (it is the primary driver for your sex drive). If he's overweight, that does increase his estrogen levels in his body, which lowers sex drive. (That's also why guys get "man boobs.")
    The point is this, it's most likely NOT you.

    ^^^ this!! Think about when you don't feel like sex - whats your reason for not wanting it? I think you need to talk to him and see if there are any underlying issues. Good luck xx
  • mandag9008
    mandag9008 Posts: 182 Member
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    sry went to work out.

    answers:
    1.yes we work out together. we diet together, everyday.
    2. no drugs.
  • gumigal82
    gumigal82 Posts: 350
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    If it's only been four times since 9/2011, it may not be cheating (as even cheaters-men&woman-still have sex with their partners) it probably is some sort of stress in his life (job, health,etc) or in your relationship.

    You may have brought it up already, but does he actually know how much this hurts you? That you came to random sources because you are so at a loss? You even thought he could be cheating? All I can suggest is try again to talk to him--this time do what you can to make him listen, even if it takes saying you are so fed up you're ready to walk. Let's face it--you deserve better.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I think all of the internet psychologists have no idea what's really going on, because the only one that really knows whats going on is your husband. There can be any number of reasons why he's denying sex. Without knowing the man, which none of us do, none of us can say with any certainty what that reason is.

    Ask him. If he's not into you anymore, time to move on.
  • SLAYERDAN69
    SLAYERDAN69 Posts: 7
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    I didnt read all the replies, but all of your reasons could be right, none of them, a mix, or 50 others. Didnt really give us enouh info for an informed answer,,,,,,you need to ask him, not us. But ambivalence to sex is a MAJOR indicator of something being wrong, with him or otherwise.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    he is bored... what you may think is good might not be enticing enough to him and adventurous enough for him...
  • SLAYERDAN69
    SLAYERDAN69 Posts: 7
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    Having read the replies, I have come to the conclusion he is in love with a ferret. its as logical as any of the replies left here. None of us know. And it could be so many things, my concern is that one persons post speaks to you, yet its so far off its dangerous. Talk to your man. NOW>
  • dynamojones
    dynamojones Posts: 52
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    He could be addicted to online porn.
  • yungnold
    yungnold Posts: 33 Member
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    I didn't read through every single post so sorry if I say whats been said already, But there could be a couple reasons. I never met a man that turned down sex even if he wasn't attracted to the woman.

    1. Getting it from some where else
    2. He's gay
    3. Stress
    4. Porn... it actually can ruin the excitement men getting from seeing real women

    But you should really ask him that's the only sure way to know what's going on... we could all be wrong lol
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
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    I think all of the internet psychologists have no idea what's really going on, because the only one that really knows whats going on is your husband. There can be any number of reasons why he's denying sex. Without knowing the man, which none of us do, none of us can say with any certainty what that reason is.

    Ask him. If he's not into you anymore, time to move on.

    This.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    4 times since 9/2011???

    For me and you KNOW he is not cheating...
    He would have to get the talking. You can't live the next 50 years with that type of sexual relationship. I know couples in long relationships tend to go through dry spells but that is waaaaayyyyyyyy too long. And his lack of communication is a huge problem....HUGE!
    Allow me to introduce you to my deal breaker....
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    sry went to work out.

    answers:
    1.yes we work out together. we diet together, everyday.
    2. no drugs.

    Maybe you spend so much time together he is just sick of you
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 899 Member
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    Your vagina smells a foul.
  • LiftBigtoGetFit
    LiftBigtoGetFit Posts: 3,399 Member
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    not sure if you do this or not, but lifting him up/making him feel like a man (not just in bed). make sure not to complain about finances/living conditions things he is supposed to provide. it is ok to discuss issues but you want to make sure to discuss things without hurting his feelings, which might be hard to do because most men wont let you know if you are. amongst the other things being discussed, depression, stress, etc. hope things get better for you.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!
  • FlyeredUp
    FlyeredUp Posts: 663 Member
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    My sex drive last year when I felt like a 60 year old man and look liked one aswell was very low. But now you better watch the F#@K out!!
    And if its not a similiar type of thing that he is going thru , I agree 100% with the guys that mentioned the following.
    Cheating or addicted porn!!
  • FlyeredUp
    FlyeredUp Posts: 663 Member
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    I think you can narrow it down to 2 answers. He is getting it elsewhere or he is gay.
    kinda leaning towards this too..

    This is unreal to me. I can't believe people's first thoughts on lack of sex drive is cheating or sexuality related. I think this is such a general ignorant response. I'm not saying it's not an option, but this whole attitude that if men don't want sex, it's just unthinkable so they MUST be cheating or gay. There is no one size fits all for sexual issues, and these two issues are very 'day time tv' perspectives on real life issue that have many different triggers and causes.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!
    Your not a male and have no clue how powerful the male sex drive is!! If it isnt depression or low T levels, He is cheating or addicted to porn!!

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