Z. Class that causes me marriage stress part II.
d2footballJRC
Posts: 2,684 Member
in Chit-Chat
Well some of you may remember me! (I'm the guy who wanted to cut his hands off in another topic, involving the gym, my wife, and my lifting schedule) Several of you recommended that I go to Zumba Class, at first I thought you guys were just card carrying members of the crazies club. After 7 days of the scorn of my wife (Which involved neat tricks like the skin from her face melting and turning into a fire breathing skeleton head to my laundry getting turned pink Yes pink, my favorite gym shirt is now pink.) I've realized maybe you guys aren't the crazy club members I need to watch out for. I decided, okay I can give Zumba a try against ALL my MANLY INSTINCTS telling me.. NO JR.... Doing Zumba will be something you will regret. I didn't listen to my man power, I just didn't listen....
So I put on my work out clothes (A t-shirt I cut the arms off and some thick wind breakers) and my wife comes out of our bedroom wearing what one can only describe as a moving planet/star/small sun. It was a matching neon yellow piece of clothing that I can only imagine was made by little Chinese kids wearing welding helmets it was so bright. (Sorry if that offended any of you.) I was about to ask, Are you going to wear that to the gym? BUT this time my Manly instincts said...JR Don't say that, you will get kick in your nards.. just don't do it. I started to say something but could tell she had her legs in kicking range so I stopped myself. Thus we headed off to the gym.
So we get to the gym and I found it hard not to go straight to the weights area. Instead we traversed into a room/planet I've never entered. It was a rather large room with mirrors all around. Felt like I was in a house of horrors mirror room. Then stage 1 of the Zumba tap was sprung. In a flurry of colors, many which could be seen by the blind women in all these cute outfits started to show up, I started thinking... OH hey, this could be good.. oh.. yeah... Using the ole' checking out the room method to check this out (Men you know what I'm talking about, the whole, oh I've never been in here, kinda neat trick!) I started to calm down and realized while I may look like a one legged man who's been lobotomized in this class, that there is a positive side.
Then it came crashing down. So class started we did our little booty shake warm up thing, then we started the pelvic thrust maneuver to the booty bump/shake/rump/money maker maneuver. Women started to huffing and making fish faces while doing this and something snapped in me. I just lost it, I started cackling and laughing at this site. Literally gasping for air I had to leave, I couldn't handle this. It was like someone who REALLY hated the Spanish Dance culture wanted to punish it by adding move that no respectable man would be caught doing and thus playing a HUGE prank on womankind by getting them to pay for this. I felt like these women should of had shake weights and this would of been the ultimate insult to humanity everywhere.
So I ended up leaving and went and lifting and was talking to the guys. Classes apparently ended by the string of bright colors that passed us. I noticed 3 colors were moving in my direction pretty fast. Low and behold, one was my wife and apparently two "friends". As they rushed over towards me my flight or fight kicked in and for some reason I just froze. I was given a look that I'm pretty sure stopped my heart for a few minutes but I was too stunned to know a difference. Now not only do I not want to spend time with her, I embarrassed her in front of the whole class. I never should of went to Zumba and somehow it turned out my fault that I went with her. Her friends just kinda stood back and did the whole head nod thing.
So in the end, wife still isn't happy. I'm starting to see a pattern here! I've been looking for Mexican Coyotes to sneak me into a new gym but so far haven't found any on my local Craig's list.
Just thought you guys would like an update. So far, I'm still in the dog house! Men don't make my mistake, if you are tempted or begged to Zumba...Just don't do it, You'll never forgive yourself!
Lastly, why the heck do women have such a hard time picking out work out pants. I went with the wife to shop for new pants for this Zumba class (Apparently me starting to go along was going to be like a high school graduation or something where you have to dress up, but only with workout clothes) She seriously tried on 12-15 pairs of pants and complained about all of them. HOLY HECK LADIES that do that. I went to ****'s sporting good, found some that were colors that were palpable. (Meaning not pink, not purple, and not sea foam green.) and bought a couple. Didn't even try them on!
So, you might be reading this and asking yourself, BUT JR are you ever going to go to Zumba again?
Let's look at the pro's and con's.
Pro's
-Eye Candy
-Music was average
Con's
-You look like you have de-evolved
-You will laugh if you laugh easily, thus resulting in scorn from women.
-The Spanish Salsa culture dies a little inside every time you attempt Zumba.
-Other men will know that you are 100% whipped if you go to Zumba class.
-Your self respect is replaced with a hole that you will never be able to fill again.
From looking at that chart and thinking about the experience I will have to abstain from Zumba again. I am glad it works for some people, but it was not a great fit for a meathead like me.
Til next time!
So I put on my work out clothes (A t-shirt I cut the arms off and some thick wind breakers) and my wife comes out of our bedroom wearing what one can only describe as a moving planet/star/small sun. It was a matching neon yellow piece of clothing that I can only imagine was made by little Chinese kids wearing welding helmets it was so bright. (Sorry if that offended any of you.) I was about to ask, Are you going to wear that to the gym? BUT this time my Manly instincts said...JR Don't say that, you will get kick in your nards.. just don't do it. I started to say something but could tell she had her legs in kicking range so I stopped myself. Thus we headed off to the gym.
So we get to the gym and I found it hard not to go straight to the weights area. Instead we traversed into a room/planet I've never entered. It was a rather large room with mirrors all around. Felt like I was in a house of horrors mirror room. Then stage 1 of the Zumba tap was sprung. In a flurry of colors, many which could be seen by the blind women in all these cute outfits started to show up, I started thinking... OH hey, this could be good.. oh.. yeah... Using the ole' checking out the room method to check this out (Men you know what I'm talking about, the whole, oh I've never been in here, kinda neat trick!) I started to calm down and realized while I may look like a one legged man who's been lobotomized in this class, that there is a positive side.
Then it came crashing down. So class started we did our little booty shake warm up thing, then we started the pelvic thrust maneuver to the booty bump/shake/rump/money maker maneuver. Women started to huffing and making fish faces while doing this and something snapped in me. I just lost it, I started cackling and laughing at this site. Literally gasping for air I had to leave, I couldn't handle this. It was like someone who REALLY hated the Spanish Dance culture wanted to punish it by adding move that no respectable man would be caught doing and thus playing a HUGE prank on womankind by getting them to pay for this. I felt like these women should of had shake weights and this would of been the ultimate insult to humanity everywhere.
So I ended up leaving and went and lifting and was talking to the guys. Classes apparently ended by the string of bright colors that passed us. I noticed 3 colors were moving in my direction pretty fast. Low and behold, one was my wife and apparently two "friends". As they rushed over towards me my flight or fight kicked in and for some reason I just froze. I was given a look that I'm pretty sure stopped my heart for a few minutes but I was too stunned to know a difference. Now not only do I not want to spend time with her, I embarrassed her in front of the whole class. I never should of went to Zumba and somehow it turned out my fault that I went with her. Her friends just kinda stood back and did the whole head nod thing.
So in the end, wife still isn't happy. I'm starting to see a pattern here! I've been looking for Mexican Coyotes to sneak me into a new gym but so far haven't found any on my local Craig's list.
Just thought you guys would like an update. So far, I'm still in the dog house! Men don't make my mistake, if you are tempted or begged to Zumba...Just don't do it, You'll never forgive yourself!
Lastly, why the heck do women have such a hard time picking out work out pants. I went with the wife to shop for new pants for this Zumba class (Apparently me starting to go along was going to be like a high school graduation or something where you have to dress up, but only with workout clothes) She seriously tried on 12-15 pairs of pants and complained about all of them. HOLY HECK LADIES that do that. I went to ****'s sporting good, found some that were colors that were palpable. (Meaning not pink, not purple, and not sea foam green.) and bought a couple. Didn't even try them on!
So, you might be reading this and asking yourself, BUT JR are you ever going to go to Zumba again?
Let's look at the pro's and con's.
Pro's
-Eye Candy
-Music was average
Con's
-You look like you have de-evolved
-You will laugh if you laugh easily, thus resulting in scorn from women.
-The Spanish Salsa culture dies a little inside every time you attempt Zumba.
-Other men will know that you are 100% whipped if you go to Zumba class.
-Your self respect is replaced with a hole that you will never be able to fill again.
From looking at that chart and thinking about the experience I will have to abstain from Zumba again. I am glad it works for some people, but it was not a great fit for a meathead like me.
Til next time!
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Replies
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Hey JR,
I am sorry you had this experience, I can tell you it isn't about anything you did or didn't do. If my SO came with me to the gym or even Zumba anything he did would be considered funny or cute. Something else is going on and I would try to find out what is so you can start working on fixing it.
I will be praying for you and your marriage my friend and you please pray for mine :flowerforyou:0 -
Thanks Teags and I will.0
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That is amazing. Good on you for trying to go, not many men would have. I'm sorry that she's pissy it didn't turn out how she wanted, but hey, you tried to warn her. At this point, she has no one but herself to blame.
As far as the shopping goes...*shrug* I may try on one or two pairs of workout pants if I'm not sure what size I'm in, but I have a hard time being picky about something like that. It's like saying "These leggings look bad." They are tight as tight can get, if things don't look good, it isn't the fault of your pants...0 -
Something else is wrong in your marriage and you don't seem to care, or to want to find out what it is and fix it.
Oh sure you went with her to say you tried it. But you had no intention of really trying.
So get off the computer and go find out what is wrong before she leaves you for one of those hot Latin zumba guys.0 -
"Just thought you guys would like an update."
You thought wrong. I can't even believe I wasted my time reading that.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ... I absolutely loved that story!!!
If you tell these stories often, please friend me.
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Bet you're gonna get hated on some for this one...
That said - I loved it! I truly hope you were aiming for "amusing" on this post, cause it was downright hysterical. Sorry I'm laughing at your expense, but as I was reading your post, I was picturing my own husband trying to do a Zumba (or any) class with me, and finding himself doing the same exact thing you did - trying not to laugh and failing miserably. This is why that man stays in the weight room or on the treadmill and I do my own thing at the gym.
I think it's awesome you're trying to hard to be supportive of your wife. Hang in, buddy. And thank you once more for an excellent visual.0 -
I'm sorry, I missed the original post...why did wife want you to go to Zumba class with her in the first place???
Kudos to you for trying even though you really didn't want to. That's what the give and take of marriage is about. But I'm sorry that she can't at least appreciate your effort
Btw, the only thing I would say that you maybe should have done differently (looking from the outside in, of course) was to let her know that you just couldn't do it, instead of just leaving her there clueless.0 -
I'm sorry to say that your pain gave me a good laugh.
I would NEVER make hubby go to Zumba (or any other class, for that matter) with me!0 -
Bet you're gonna get hated on some for this one...
That said - I loved it! I truly hope you were aiming for "amusing" on this post, cause it was downright hysterical. Sorry I'm laughing at your expense, but as I was reading your post, I was picturing my own husband trying to do a Zumba (or any) class with me, and finding himself doing the same exact thing you did - trying not to laugh and failing miserably. This is why that man stays in the weight room or on the treadmill and I do my own thing at the gym.
I think it's awesome you're trying to hard to be supportive of your wife. Hang in, buddy. And thank you once more for an excellent visual.
I was picturing my boyfriend while reading this and I would say he would have laughed his way out of that room also. Then again I don't Zumba and would never insist on him doing something he just doesn't want to do.0 -
Obviously this issue calls for someone to give you advice and honeslty, who better than me. I am..THAT DUDE.
THis will be painful to hear...but it is the truth...YOU DONT LIKE YOUR WIFE AND YOUR WIFE DOESNT LIKE YOU.
Its time to move on. She has unrealistic expectations and hates the fact that you got in shape and is jealous that you are cheating on her....and I know your not...BUT....you ARE thinking about it and just havent gone thru with it.
ITs time to move on.
Now I have to get back to the middle east peace talks.
Cya0 -
My marrage has its bumps, as for talking to her, trust me Ive tried that route! I do things outside of the gym with her daily. Its just something about her wanting to go to the gym to me. It was never an issue this oast year til this last week. Doesnt make any sense :-) for those flaming bring it on, no pme pnline can compare to the wrath Ive gotten in real life. Lighten up a bit, life is too short how it is. I was just sharing a bit of drama that has been happening ;-) if you cant laugh at your situation you havent caused enough chaos! Honestly the gym has been the only thing weve fought about in awhile, im a pacifist! This will surely past, she'll come around and tell me whats up when she is ready. Ive reached out at this point just got to make the best of it!0
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I don't agree with Iam_thatdude.... You don't just "run out" on a marriage when things aren't going well or when you don't "like" them anymore. That is what is wrong with marriages these days. They say the words, for better or worse, but people these days only want the better.
When something is broke, you fix it... you don't just toss it away and get a new one.... although that seems to be what most people do these days.
I am not saying that you are wanting to do that, I am referencing Iam_thatdude's advice.
My hubby and I have been married for 11 years. We have been hell and back and there have been times when I down right hated him and wanted a divorce and I am sure he could say the same. We have grown over the years and I can honestly say he is my best friend. I truly could not imagine life without him.
Back when my hubby was lifting and really in shape, I always wanted to work out with him and he did the same thing and at the time it upset me. Nothing else was going on but I was just sad that he didn't want to share that with me. Now that I am older and more secure, I am super happy having my own "thing". It wouldn't bother me now but it did then... I felt like he was pushing me out of a part of his life... looking back now I understand why he needed to focus. I wasn't serious about it then, it was just fun, but I am now and I get it...
high five for trying the class... it shows that you really do love her and WANT to make her happy.0 -
I don't agree with Iam_thatdude.... You don't just "run out" on a marriage when things aren't going well or when you don't "like" them anymore. That is what is wrong with marriages these days. They say the words, for better or worse, but people these days only want the better.
When something is broke, you fix it... you don't just toss it away and get a new one.... although that seems to be what most people do these days.
I am not saying that you are wanting to do that, I am referencing Iam_thatdude's advice.
My hubby and I have been married for 11 years. We have been hell and back and there have been times when I down right hated him and wanted a divorce and I am sure he could say the same. We have grown over the years and I can honestly say he is my best friend. I truly could not imagine life without him.
It does seem to me that she is upset about something else. I can't say what it is because I am not her, but you do need to figure it out... Maybe she feels like you don't want to spend time with her in general when you want to work out alone. I don't know what she is really upset about but you need to talk to her about it. Take her being upset seriously and maybe just make time for some good old fashioned togetherness although it seems that you spend a lot of time with her like shopping and such.
high five for trying the class... it shows that you really do love her and WANT to make her happy.
She definatly is but its not like i havent tried to talk about it. Shes really stubborn (Darn that German and Italian blood), one day hopefully soon she'll unload.0 -
sorry, I edited to change some of what I said... to give maybe an insight because at one time I felt the same as she did... you can re read my last post if you wanna see the edited version. Her feelings will come out eventually... she will be fine.
regardless... You made me laugh so hard.... hang in there.0 -
Obviously this issue calls for someone to give you advice and honeslty, who better than me. I am..THAT DUDE.
THis will be painful to hear...but it is the truth...YOU DONT LIKE YOUR WIFE AND YOUR WIFE DOESNT LIKE YOU.
Its time to move on. She has unrealistic expectations and hates the fact that you got in shape and is jealous that you are cheating on her....and I know your not...BUT....you ARE thinking about it and just havent gone thru with it.
ITs time to move on.
Now I have to get back to the middle east peace talks.
Cya
As a misc'er I forgot to even ask....Bro, do u even lift? (I hope you are aware you seem like the type that would be. If you arent aware its an inside joke of the misc.)0 -
Bet you're gonna get hated on some for this one...
That said - I loved it! I truly hope you were aiming for "amusing" on this post, cause it was downright hysterical. Sorry I'm laughing at your expense, but as I was reading your post, I was picturing my own husband trying to do a Zumba (or any) class with me, and finding himself doing the same exact thing you did - trying not to laugh and failing miserably. This is why that man stays in the weight room or on the treadmill and I do my own thing at the gym.
I think it's awesome you're trying to hard to be supportive of your wife. Hang in, buddy. And thank you once more for an excellent visual.
Ditto this! Good for you for trying, and I love how you put a light-hearted spin on everything. I told my husband about your previous post, and he looked at me and said "Honey, I hope you're not thinking what she's thinking, because I wouldn't be caught dead doing Zumba!" Which is pretty funny considering he's pretty passive and I can convince him to do just about anything...but the thought of my 6 foot 9, 320 pound ex semi-pro linebacker husband doing Zumba was enough to make me laugh out loud! Hang in there!0 -
Aww you poor thing! Every time I get the urge to try Zumba, I stop and think of the other thread and then I'm laughing too hard to even consider it. I'll keep running and picking up heavy things/putting them down.
Best o' luck to ya!!!0 -
The only thing that really matters is that I find all of this hilarious. Continue.0
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I remember reading your original story and I'm glad I spotted this one too.
Whilst I know I should write something serious and constructive, I just can't. It's too hilarious.
Sorry.
(Psst. I can't even bring myself to try Zumba, so credit to you for giving it a shot! People are taking your story way too seriously with concerns for your marriage. Stupid drama happens in relationships, but I'm sure you would be taking things much more seriously if your relationship really was one hair away from a divorce. Sometimes guys, you just need to laugh.)0 -
Ok seriously why are so many people bashing JR for this? Have a sense of humor people! I think that it is admirable that he went to a Zumba class with his wife... any man that will do that is probably not having problems in his marriage. Knowing my boyfriend if I ever got him there he would be reduced to a fit of hysterics and then stand in the back of the class getting a better ab workout then the rest of us due to his inability to stop.
Kudos for going JR and don't ever come to my gym!0 -
I didn't see the original post, and I don't really want to weigh in on your marriage (at least not too much) b/c there are two sides to every story. It sounds like there is more going on between you than just arguing about the gym, at least a deeper issue that you are arguing about. I sincerely hope that you two are able to work it out or at least talk about it so that the two of you can find some peace.
Aside from that, I loved your story. I think it's great that you tried going to Zumba. I doubt I could ever get my hubs to try a Zumba class with me. If somehow he ended up there, like if I could magically make him appear in a Zumba class, then I bet he would have a lot of fun with it. He loves to be the center of attention, and he isn't afraid of looking silly in front of people (once he's in the situation anyway, like I said, I would have a very hard time getting him there in the first place). He might even do better than I would, judging from the times I've gotten him to do Just Dance with our kiddos & me on the Wii. Thanks for the laugh & I hope you and your wife are able to work things out.0 -
Bet you're gonna get hated on some for this one...
That said - I loved it! I truly hope you were aiming for "amusing" on this post, cause it was downright hysterical. Sorry I'm laughing at your expense, but as I was reading your post, I was picturing my own husband trying to do a Zumba (or any) class with me, and finding himself doing the same exact thing you did - trying not to laugh and failing miserably. This is why that man stays in the weight room or on the treadmill and I do my own thing at the gym.
I think it's awesome you're trying to hard to be supportive of your wife. Hang in, buddy. And thank you once more for an excellent visual.
Ditto this! Good for you for trying, and I love how you put a light-hearted spin on everything. I told my husband about your previous post, and he looked at me and said "Honey, I hope you're not thinking what she's thinking, because I wouldn't be caught dead doing Zumba!" Which is pretty funny considering he's pretty passive and I can convince him to do just about anything...but the thought of my 6 foot 9, 320 pound ex semi-pro linebacker husband doing Zumba was enough to make me laugh out loud! Hang in there!
He was a big linebacker. I was a dline/de and was around 6'2 295-300 pounds. I bet backs running up the gut loved him!0 -
Too long for ya? LOL. It was pretty, dang funny, though!0 -
Ok seriously why are so many people bashing JR for this? Have a sense of humor people! I think that it is admirable that he went to a Zumba class with his wife... any man that will do that is probably not having problems in his marriage. Knowing my boyfriend if I ever got him there he would be reduced to a fit of hysterics and then stand in the back of the class getting a better ab workout then the rest of us due to his inability to stop.
Kudos for going JR and don't ever come to my gym!
Its all good. I'm very responsible...when something goes wrong people are always saying, JR is responsible!!0 -
Obviously this issue calls for someone to give you advice and honeslty, who better than me. I am..THAT DUDE.
THis will be painful to hear...but it is the truth...YOU DONT LIKE YOUR WIFE AND YOUR WIFE DOESNT LIKE YOU.
Its time to move on. She has unrealistic expectations and hates the fact that you got in shape and is jealous that you are cheating on her....and I know your not...BUT....you ARE thinking about it and just havent gone thru with it.
ITs time to move on.
Now I have to get back to the middle east peace talks.
Cya
As a misc'er I forgot to even ask....Bro, do u even lift? (I hope you are aware you seem like the type that would be. If you arent aware its an inside joke of the misc.)
Bro, cmon dude. I like so lift. I lift the spirits up of the ppl on this board.....i take the weak minded and call them on their bs. BTW I think you are a very talented story teller. Just watch your dog overnight tho.
Now seriously, I am not telling you to leave your wife....but you know what I said cuts true.0 -
I've been a wife for 20 yrs to a man's man! The very thought of him in a Zumba class makes me burst into a fit of giggles. :bigsmile:
Thank you for sharing this. As for marriage advice, ehhh I don't think this MFP forum is the place to tell this guy it's time to leave his wife ect. Anyway, I thought it was funny.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ... I absolutely loved that story!!!
If you tell these stories often, please friend me.
yes this ^^^^^^^0 -
I've been a wife for 20 yrs to a man's man! The very thought of him in a Zumba class makes me burst into a fit of giggles. :bigsmile:
Thank you for sharing this. As for marriage advice, ehhh I don't think this MFP forum is the place to tell this guy it's time to leave his wife ect. Anyway, I thought it was funny.
Yeah, I wasnt posting this for marriage advice. I was posting this more for therapy than anything. Its nice to get things off my chest and out of my head. I used to have a diary but stopped it because of the chance of incrimination! Thanks for your post!0
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